我为喜剧狂（2006）

No. Greenscreen always looks so fake.
说的也是
Yeah.
但要真的收支平衡 就得靠拉赞助才行
But to actually break even, we need somebody to sponsor the show.
难不成我去找诺基亚主管开条子?
Ugh, what, then I'll have some executive from Nokia giving me notes?
想得美 我们打官司之前都拉不到他们
Oh, you wish. We couldn't get them before the lawsuit.
我们现在仅有的广♥告♥商就是NBC.com 和那个要吃人的德国人
Right now, our only advertisers are NBC.Com and a German guy who wants to eat somebody.
就是Gunter都不会来呀
And even gunter's having doubts.
也就是说我得去拉个赞助 还不能太挑
Okay, so I need to find someone to put their name on the show, and I can't be picky.
随便怎样都行
Whatever it takes.
我懂了 你要找个干爹
I get it. You need a sugar daddy.
那么 惊我一下吧
So dazzle me.
干嘛一定要赞助你们女生秀?
Why should bro body douche get in TGS's panties?
这么说吧 Broseph... - 干嘛?
Well, Broseph... - Sup?
我觉得TGS秀和坏男孩节目之间有着 紧密的联♥系♥
I think TGS and bro body douche would be tight.
是么? - 明白不?
Totes? - Nah mean?
不带基味儿的 - 必须的
No homo.- Mos def.
这么说...你同意?
So... Jeah?
镁铝 我不知道呢
Look, Betty, I don't know if it is jeah.
TGS秀 听起来像新闻频道 又感觉像是我染的花柳病
TGS, it sounds like a news channel, or an std you know I've got.
我们可以改名的 我们什么都愿意接受
We could change it. We're open to anything.
你也就说说而已
That's what you said
听着 表误会 我喜欢Tracy Jordan 他可是大腕儿
look, don't get me wrong. I like Tracy Jordan. Dude's a baller.
我也喜欢你们节目的那个小骚货 尽管她有点儿煞风景
I like that you've got a slut on the show,even if she is a little boned out.
而且我超爱你们整出的性骚扰事件 牛X
And I love the sexual harassment thing.Noice!
但想要坏男孩入伙 光这点儿可不够
But if you're gonna get in bed with the douche,
这可是整高级的
it's not just gonna be the tip.
得要有创意总监 得提及到我们品牌
This is senior year. We're go need creative approval, brand mentions.
而且整个节目的调调得更...
And the whole tone of the show needs to be more...
你看过色情版的变形金刚没?
Um... have you ever seen the porn version of transformers?
我滴个神呐 你到底赞不赞助?
Blorch! Look, do we have a deal?
别急 女的来做我的节目感觉怪怪的
Almost. It'd be weird if my show were created by a woman.
你可以化名成Todd Debeikis不?
So could your credit be Todd Debeikis?
为了纪念我一兄弟会的弟兄
It's in honor of my frat bro. Died during hell week
倒在水槽里一周后就死了
after passing out in the trough.
我上的是锡拉丘兹大学
I went to Syracuse.
生来就没爹!
Never-knew-my-dad!
神呐!
Oh, god.
Liz搞错了吧 这剧砍了我们也没事儿
Liz is wrong, right? If the show goes away, we'll be fine.
没错 我炉子后面放的东西
Yeah, I got some stuff on the back burner.
没管它 结果房♥子烧了 保险公♥司♥给赔了
Left unattended long enough, the house burns down...Insurance money.
我是说很多人剧被砍了还更出名了 像George Clooney
I mean, lots of people got more famous after their TV shows have ended. Like George Clooney.
我们只要有后路就成
We just need to have our next great roles lined up.
就像克鲁尼在急诊室的故事后演了二♥逼♥基佬蝙蝠侠
Like how, after E.R., Clooney had dumb, gay Batman.
二♥逼♥基佬蝙蝠侠可是百年一遇的角色
But parts like dumb, gay Batman come around once in a generation.
如果TGS停播 还能有两角色都这么适合我们吗?
If TGS goes away, what are the chances that there'll be two perfect roles,one for each of us?
如果我们演连体婴就不用两个角色了
But we don't need two roles if we play siamese twins!
一个是总统 - 另一个是圣诞老人
One is the president. - The other's Santa claus.
他们都爱上了同一个女人 Elvira
And they're both in love with the same woman...Elvira!
Tracy Jenna 听说你们在召集粉丝拯救节目
Tracy, Jenna. So I hear you're rallying fans to save your show.
跟我说说TGS怎么了
Tell me, what's going on with TGS?
kristy 其实我们更想谈规划中的计划
Actually, kristy, we'd like to talk about our amazing upcoming project.
一部电影叫国家元首
It's a movie called heads of state.
冒号♥ Ronfulus医生的崛起
Colon... The rise of doctor Ronfulus.
三楼还是NBC新闻的驻扎地 有趣的现象是
The third floor is also home to NBC news.Fun news fact.
"今日秀"本来是制♥作♥给囚犯看的
The today show was originally designed to entertain prison inmates
那些因智商太低无法处死的囚犯
whose iqs were too low for them to be executed.
有趣的点在于 "今日秀"现在是NBC最吸金的新闻节目
What I think is a fun fact is that the today show is NBC's most profitable news program.
成本低 却每日运转12小时 提供新闻趣料
12 hours of daily "news funtertainment" with very low overhead.
大多数主持都是以白葡萄酒代薪金
We pay most of our hosts in white wine.
但我仍想知道是否有更赚钱的办法
But I'm wondering, is there a way to make it even more profitable?
增加点派对的氛围
More of a party atmosphere.
可点菜的食品区
Food segments where you could order the food.
在e!网上重播有基佬吐槽的版本
Show it again later on e!, but have gay guys make fun of it.
我想 对于某些人 "今日秀"是摇钱树
I guess, for some people, the today show is about money.
但对我 它让全美在一起展开新的一天
But for me, it's about america starting its day together.
还让你和老朋友Matt and Savannha碰面 还有你的男管家Al
And it's about seeing your friends Matt and Savannha, and your Butler Al.
我也看 "今日秀"
Oh, I watch the today show.
今早Al在广场讲了个一流的天气双关
This morning, out on the Plaza, Al made a classic weather pun.
一月-哪里有雪呢?
Janu-where is the snow?
对 - 纯洁的心
Yes. - Pure of heart.
Kenneth 借一步说话
Kenneth... a word.
是我之前没说清楚你在这的任务吗?
Was I not clear earlier about your role I this process?
很抱歉 但这比我俩都重要
I am sorry, sir, but this is bigger than both of us.
这里是NBC 我们就是喜剧
It's NBC. "We comedy."
Kenneth 是我们让喜剧放光彩 你漏了放光彩
Kenneth, it's "we peacock comedy." You say the peacock.
什么 这不科学
What? That's insane.
我自己会带队继续参观 Parcell
I will continue with this tour myself, Parcell.
你不用帮忙了
Your services are no longer required.
蹬蹬噔
♪ Dum dum dum ♪
喂 对不起 忘了回你电♥话♥
Hey, I'm sorry. I forgot you called.
Liz 你是否支持给我们的孩子买♥♥跳床
Liz, are you in favor of our kids having a trampoline,or do you hate fun?
什么 不准买♥♥跳床
What? No trampolines.
跳床危险四伏还是处♥女♥膜破坏者 你知道我的故事的
They're death traps and hymen demolishers. You know what happened to me.
你还记得我们曾以为是 看窥视表演的那个流浪汉世界吗?
Okay, you know tramp world, that place we thought was a peep show?
其实是个超赞的跳床商店
It's actually an awesome trampoline store.
Ladarius给我个册子
And Ladarius here gave me this pamphlet.
你知道死于疾病和意外的总人数
Did you know that every year more people die from disease
远大于仅死于跳床事故的人数吗?
and accidents combined than from just trampoline accidents?
这就是你在我开会期间六次来电的原因吗?
Wow, is this why you called me six times during my meeting?
对不起
Gee, sorry.
只是想让你也一起参与
Just trying to include you.
我想我们一起做所有事 买♥♥玩具 买♥♥牙刷
I thought we'd do all this stuff together, buying toys and gender-neutral toothbrushes.
我是说 来逛流浪汉的都是一对对
I mean, tramp world is all couples.
只有我是只身一人来的 Liz
I'm the only single guy here, Liz,
Ladarius除外 他老婆死于跳床事故
except for Ladarius,whose wife died in a trampoline accident.
我一会打回给你
I'll call you back.
停下来 我讨厌这样
Stop. I hate it.
Liz 我发誓我们正准备写剧本
Okay, Liz, we're about to start writing. I swear!
你们肯定什么都没做好
No, of course you haven't done anything.
你们又怎么会做好呢?
Why would I ever think that you would?
我们做了件事 L.L
We did something, ll.
我饰演Gretchen Vanderhausen 二十出头的性感总统
I play Gretchen Vanderhausen, a sexy, 20-something president.
我饰演她的连体婴Nick 倒霉但肌肉发达的圣诞老人
I play her siamese twin Nick, a down-on-his-luck but muscular Santa claus.
这部电影由Michael Baio导演 Scott Baio的叔叔
The movie is being directed by Michael ba... io,Scott Baio's uncle.
将在13-13-13上映 也就是2014年1月13日
It comes out 13-13-13, which is January 13th, 2014.
主题曲将与错乱的说唱差不多
And the theme song will be, like, rap breakdown!
♪ Twins,twins,twins,twins ♪
♪ Twins, twins, twins, twins ♪
我知道你在想什么 Liz
I know what you're thinking, Liz,
双胞胎不同肤色是可能出现的
but it is possible to have twins who are different races.
我在Maury秀上看到的
I saw it on Maury it was a episode entitled,
有段叫 我家小胖孩对我继父的大改造
my obese toddler did my stepfather's makeover.
我们还剩两小时来保住节目
We have two hours to save the show!
但我估计又得自己一人单干了
But I guess I'll just do it alone, again!
我会忽略我生命中的一切来为你们保住工作
I'll ignore everything that's going on in my life and save your jobs for you.
出于好奇问个问题 怎样才能...
Just one question, out of curiosity...What would it take...
才想起来 我要提前走
I just remembered, I gotta leave early.
到底怎样才能让你们有担当和帮我的忙 到底怎样
What would it take for you people to ever step up and help me? Ever!
这里是演播室6H
This is studio 6h.
你知道这舞台录制过什么节目吗?
Do you know what's been shot on this Stage?
TGS, The Joey Montero Show, The Lovebirds
TGS, the Joey Montero show, the lovebirds.
还有登陆月球
And the moon landing.
这边走
Right this way.
你好 年轻人 - 见鬼
Hello, young man. - Damn it!
我是C. B. Essington
My Name is C.B. Essington.
仔细听我说 因为你将面临道德上的两难局面
Now, listen to me carefully because I have a moral quandary for you.
在Jack Donaghy办公室 有个全新节目剧本将改变电视行业
In Jack Donaghy's office, there's a brand-new script for a show that will change television.
你帮我偷过来 保证你所得的钱超出你想象的极限
If you steal it for me, I promise you riches beyond your wildest dreams.
什么? 不行
What? No.
Parcell!
Parcell!
他通过测试了!
He past the test, sir!
他拒绝偷那个关于 餐饮公♥司♥的剧本来背叛电视台!