我为喜剧狂（2006）

Try never. Paas is the best.
他们的线圈鸡蛋托是行业顶尖水平 细到极致的托环有效减少了染色线
Their wire egg Dipper is tops in the industry with the thinnest egg loop to reduce dye lines.
是的 只是我不为PAAS工作 我为Kabletown工作
Exactly.Only I don't work for paas. I work for Kabletown.
但我有一个挽救一切的计划
But I have a plan that will fix everything.
这么说吧 Jack
Okay, here's the thing, Jack.
你的计划不会有效的 你的节目烂透了
Your plan isn't gonna work. Your shows are terrible.
你看过新节目"同音词"吗?
I mean, have you seen that new game show homonym?
你的下个词是meat(肉) - 噢 天啊
Your next word is "meat". - Oh, boy. Um...
两个人碰到了彼此(meet/遇见)
Like when two people run into each other.
不好意思 是另外一个词 下个词是stare(凝视)
Uh, sorry, it's the other one.Your next word is "stare." - Okay.
恩 你得爬上去才能(stair/楼梯)- - 不 是另外一个词
Um, the things you climb to get...- no, no, it's the other one.
永远都是另外一个词 让我看看卡片
It's always the other one. Let me see the card.
不! 别想!
No! Never!
你的节目烂爆了 Jack - 真的吗? 你不"孔雀台"它们?
Your shows stink, Jack. - Really?So you don't peacock them?
不…会…吧
I don't... Think so.
听着 我懂
But look, I get it.
时光飞逝 你觉得时间不够了
The clock's ticking, and you feel like time's running out.
我对所有事情都是这样的
It's like me and everything.
这节目能维持多久? 我还剩多少卵子?
How long is this show gonna last?How many eggs do I have left?
我到底能不能读完"纠正"?
Will I ever finish reading the corrections?
但你不能让慌张占据你的头脑
But you can't let that panic get into your head.
谢谢你的反馈 Lemon
Well, thank you for your feedback, Lemon,
但我没有慌张 我成竹在胸
but I'm not panicking, I know exactly what I'm doing,
所以 "孔雀台" (应该是把"再见"替换了)
so good peacock to you.
可 Jack- - 我说了 "孔雀台"
But, Jack... - I said good peacock.
Jordan先生 我给Hazel说了你的晚宴点子
Mr. Jordan.I mentioned your dinner party idea to Hazel.
所以我想我们今晚开趴体嗨一嗨
Yes.And I thought we'd have a little fete chez nous ce soir.
真好 听到一个女人说纳粹最佳盟友的语言
Oh, how nice to meet a woman who speaks the language of the Nazis' most enthusiastic collaborators.
感谢邀请 我就爱参观贫穷白人的家
What a kind invitation.I do enjoy seeing the homes of poor whites.
我要带些什么? - 容光焕发地出现就行
What should I bring?- Just bring your fascinating self.
Kenneth说你今年夏天开了自己的影视工作室
Kenneth tells me that you started your own movie studio this summer.
嗯 我就像黑人导演Tyler Perry
Yes. I'm sort of the black Tyler Perry.
我是心比天高的女星 最近的作品包括在"修女也疯狂"中露脸
Oh, and I'm an aspiring actress whose most recent credits include running onstage during sister act.
好兴奋 Tracy Jordan要来吃饭
This is wonderful.Tracy Jordan is coming to dinner.
就像"凡人琐事"里有一集 Tracy Jordan也来吃饭了
Just like in that episode of family matters when Tracy Jordan came to dinner.
本来剧本没把我写进去的
You know I wasn't scripted to be in that episode.
Reginald Veljohnson欠我40块 我去片场游荡来着
I just wandered onto set because Reginald VelJohnson owed me $40.
单身派对要不定在维加斯吧
I'm thinking about Vegas for the bachelorette party.
咱不能住棕榈酒店
We can't stay at the palms.
Maloof家族有人想加害于我 还有个倾慕于我
One of the maloofs wants me dead,and the other one loves me.
我搞不清谁是谁了 - 好吧
I don't remember which is which.- Okay, great.
Tracy 给点建议呗 你爱开趴体
Tracy, I need your advice.You like to throw parties.
为什么都找我提建议啊 我可是Tracy Jordan
Why is everyone asking me for advice?I'm Tracy Jordan.
结婚22年 育有三子 自开公♥司♥
Father of 3, married 22 years.I run my own business.
我滴个神 我是这里最稳定的成年人
Oh, my god. I'm the most stable adult here.
神呐 我不想给Jenna当伴娘
Oh, god, I don't want to be Jenna's maid of honor.
关于"借来的物品" 她想要Jessica Biel的青春
She wants her "something borrowed" to be Jessica biel's youth.
这让我上哪找去
I don't know how to get that.
你不想做 就从中作梗呗
If you don't want to do this, you should tank it.
我不想做某些事时就这么干 比如日程表啦
That's what I do when I want to get out of something like a schedule,
家长会 或是现在这无聊的对话
a parent-teacher conference,or this boring conversation.
从中作梗? 才不呢 老娘不是这种货色
Tank it? Wow, no.That's not "how I roll."
感谢你用这种过时的说法 我听懂了
Thank you for saying that in dated urban slang so that I'll understand you.
我绝不会算计我的朋友Jenna
Word.And I would certainly never tank on my friend Jenna.
因为你怕她? 大部分白人女性都怕闺蜜
Because you're terrified of her,the way most white ladies are with their best friends?
这是种族歧视 而且还很片面
That is racist, and only part true.
好人不会故意使坏
A good person doesn't intentionally do a bad job.
看看Jack 他工作不顺 恨不得置之事外
I mean, look at Jack.He's in this terrible position at work,he wishes he were somewhere else.
他使坏了吗? 没有
Is he tanking it?No.
实际上 他更加卖♥♥力
In fact, he's trying even harder.
今夜锁定NBC Joe Rogan饰演曼德拉
Tonight on NBC, Joe rogan is mandela.
周三播出全美板球之夜
And if it's Wednesday, it must be Cricket night in america.
今夜秀 Gary Sinise乐队一小时连播
Then on Jay, a full hour of Gary Sinise's band.
我滴个神 Jack要搞垮NBC啊
Oh, my god. Jack's tanking NBC!
God Cop 镜头24
Turning around on god cop, scene 24.
我知道你的把戏了 Jack
I know what you're doing, Jack.
你故意要搞垮台里
You are purposely tanking the network.
天呐 Lemon 你满口阴谋论是唱哪出?
Good god, Lemon, what is it with you liberals and your conspiracy theories?
很不幸 CIA没有发明高纯度可♥卡♥因♥
I've got bad news for you.The CIA did not invent crack cocaine,
新奥尔良的堤坝是自己爆♥炸♥的 没人要搞垮NBC
the levees blew themselves up in New Orleans,and no one is trying to destroy NBC.
且慢 这节目你自己来演?
Hang on, did you cast yourself in this show?
我还能说什么? 面试了几百个演员
What can I say?We saw hundreds of actors for god.
最后 老总说还是我来演吧
Finally, the network executive said I should just play it.
你就是老总啊 - 咱暂停一下吧
You're the network executive.- Uh, could we have a moment, please?
好吧 被你发现了
Fine. You got me.
我就是在把咱台往火坑里推
I'm steering the Titanic into the iceberg.
为什么 想被炒鱿鱼吗
Why? Are you trying to get fired?
我要让Hank把咱台卖♥♥了
I'm trying to get Hank to sell the network,
唯一的办法就是把NBC变成赔钱的鸡肋
and the only way to make him do that is to turn it into a money-losing embarrassment.
这下一切都说通了 你这样多久了?
This explains everything.How long has this been going on?
七年 还是八年 - 六个星期
Seven years, eight?- Six weeks.
有个投资人会买♥♥下咱台 依然让我掌权
I have an investor lined up who'll buy the network and keep me in charge.
我不能透露他的身份
I can't tell you who it is,
他的话跟他复活节蛋上的彩条一样靠谱
but his word is as good as the color consistency on one of his easter eggs.
Adolph Paas 这样不对 Jack
Adolph paas?This is wrong, Jack.
Lemon 商学院同学会时
Lemon, I cannot go to another business school reunion
我绝不能再和女人还有好好先生一起 同坐在非总裁桌
and sit at the non-CEO table with the...Women and nice men.
你说得对 Lemon 时不我待
You're right, Lemon, the clock is ticking for both of us,
这事要是能成 对你也有好处
but if I pull this off, it's good for you too.
你从未就职于一家善于管理的公♥司♥
You've never worked at a properly-managed company before.
这倒没错
That's true.
这之前我开了一家女子戏剧公♥司♥ 大家都是副总
Before this, I ran an all-women's theater company.Everyone was vice-president.
想想工作稳定吧
Think of the job stability.
压力不大 食堂每周二供应玉米卷
Less stress, a commissary that has taco Tuesdays again.
七年过去 你总算能享受生活
After seven years, you'll finally have a life.
如果这事黄了呢 - 当然有风险
And what if your plan doesn't work?- Of course, it's a risk,
但有时只能背水一战
but sometimes your only choice is to blow everything up
白手起家 打拼天下
and build something better out of the rubble.
想想谢尔曼远征
Look at sherman's march to the sea.
(美国内战时期血洗亚特兰大的行动)
还有我好友Bane想对哥谭镇干的好事
Or what my good friend bane tried to do to Gotham.
加入我吧 Lemon 和我一同搞垮NBC
Join me, Lemon.Help me tank NBC.
想都别想 你这是拿人性命开玩笑
Never. You're playing with peoples' lives here.
你算老几啊 - 上帝 我们就等你了
Who do you think you are?- God, we're ready for you.
扮演上帝 我学到了一样东西
If there is one thing I have realized from being god,
知之愈多 无知愈多
it's that the more you know,the more you realize you do not...Know.
他怎么还要学东西呢 他是全能的上帝啊
Why is he learning anything?He's supposed to be god.
不许给我丢脸
Now, don't embarrass me.
Tracy! 欢迎来到我们的家
Tracy! Welcome to our home.
严格来讲 这里不算家 因为不应该有人住在这里
Well, it's not technically a home,because no one's supposed to be living here,
但还是欢迎来到这个充满罪恶的地方
but welcome to our condemned site of the Candyman murders.
把它放进烤箱 调到200度好嘛?
Will you put this in the oven at about 200 degrees?
这样我的宠物蛇分娩的时候会很舒服
My snake should be very comfortable while she gives birth.
Jordan先生 来点开胃小菜吧
Mr. Jordan, please help yourself to some appetizers.
谢谢 你家太恐怖了
Thank you. Your home is terrible.
谈话开始了咯? - 对 我们聊天气
Shall we conversation?- Yes. We're having weather.
聊不完的天气 - 说起你的电影制♥作♥室...
Much weather.- So speaking of your movie studio...
总算切入正题了
This conversation has a real flow to it.
你手上有没有什么角色能给一个
Do you ever have any roles for white women
被好莱乌记者形容为"某位女性"
who've been described by the Hollywood reporter
又把Paranorman的首播搞砸了的白人女性吗?
as "some lady" who ruined the premiere of paranorman?
哦 我每部电影里都有一个白人角色
Oh, I always have one white person in all of my movies.
我们必须要有个反派 - 哦 还有什么比我们白人还糟糕的?
We have to have a villain.- Oh, and who's worse than us whites, right?
看看奴隶制那会 真是太荒唐了
I mean, look at slavery. That was bananas.
噢 那鱼就是不死
Oh, that sturgeon just will not die.
不好意思
Excuse me a moment.
噢 我也会装不同的口音
Oh, I also do accents.
我是伦敦来的 他是你Bob叔叔吗?
Oh, me a cockney person.This is your uncle Bob?
噢 Liz
Oh, Liz.
顺便说一下 Paul家的狗是递戒指的
FYI. Paul's family dog is gonna be the ring bearer.
Zoltan是只不能走路的18岁德国牧羊狗
Zoltan is an 18-year-old German Shepherd who cannot walk.