我为喜剧狂（2006）

拜托 把它...
Come on, put it...
不好意思
excuse me.
麻烦让让
Out of the way, please.
淡定 辣妈
Hey!- Chill out, mamacita.
工作的氛围到哪去了
What's with the, uh, weekday vibe.
这是周二 大哥
It is a Tuesday, sir. - Hey, hey.
你在那个节目工作?
You work on that show?
对 我在那工作
Yeah, I work on that show.
就像你妈妈在街角工作
Just like your mom works that street corner.
对不起 我说得太过了
I'm sorry, that's too much.
没关系 我妈妈确实是妓♥女♥
No sweat. My mom is a prostitute.
这小妞认识Jenna Maroney
Hey! This chick knows Jenna Maroney!
新规则 有人说话就喝酒
Hey! New drinking game!Drink when someone says something!
你们都是什么人?
Who are you people?
我们是捕蟹人
We're "crabcatchers."
源自Jenna的歌♥ 在天堂捕蟹
You know, from Jenna's song catchin' crabs in paradise?
♪ 我在天堂捕到蟹 ♪
♪ I caught crabs in paradise ♪
♪ 对 我说的可不止是螃蟹 ♪
♪ and, yes, I mean both kinds of crabs ♪
我觉得听上去怎么说也是在含沙射影
Oh, I thought that was at least gonna be innuendo.
Jenna几天前在今日秀上表演过
Jenna is playing the today show,in a couple of days,
于是我们来野游和偷闲
so we're just camping out and "unwindulaxing."
这样说来 Jenna抄袭Jimmy Buffett的事是真的?
Wait, so Jenna's Jimmy buffett rip-off is actually a thing?
看看你们这些纽约人
See, you people from New York,
你们不知道其他地方在发生什么
you don't know all the stuff that's going on in the rest of the country.
卡车拉力赛 沼泽派对 商场失火
Truck races, swamp parties,mall fires.
我无法想象她把这首歌♥唱红
I can't believe she's pulling this off.
我也无法相信我在脱掉这个
And I can't believe I'm pulling this off!
为什么你的纹身图案是安全带?
Why do you have a tattoo of a seatbelt?
我没穿衣服开车时就不会让我靠边停了
So I don't get pulled over when I'm driving shirtless!
你有事找我?
You wanted to see me?
我有提过Marisol吗? 那个我一直在碰面的墨西哥赛事场边记者
Have I mentioned Marisol,the Mexican sideline reporter I've been seeing?
周末我们在Aspen见过后 她就安上了骨盆支持器
Well, since our weekend in Aspen,she's been put on pelvic rest.
快进噪音
Fast-forward noise.
Marisol今天本要和我参加筹款午宴 入场费一万一位
Marisol was supposed to attend a fundraiser luncheon with me today.It's $10,000 a plate.
而我要想把那门票吃回来除非...
And I'll have to eat the ticket unless...
除非我去吃 奢华的午宴 海鲜吧台
unless I eat the ticket.Fancy luncheon, seafood bar.
75美分一只虾 三个小时再减去... 加上3.75...
I'm thinking 75 cents a shrimp,over three hours,and split... Carry 3.75...
我吃完时 你绝对稳赚不赔
By the time I'm done, you'll be making money.
很好 我得提醒你这是共和党筹款宴
Good. I should warn you, though,that it's a republican fundraiser.
你要去的话 不能以Huffpo邮报超级用户和枪管制支持者的身份
So if you're coming, it won't be as Liz Lemon, HuffPo superuser and gun-control lunatic.
你要以我的密友Liz Lemon的身份
You'll come as Liz Lemon, my chum.
密友 好的 我喜欢
Chum. Okay, I like that.
你到时候能做到不大肆宣扬自己的观点吗?
And you'll be able to keep your opinions to yourself?
感谢天 Lemon 你刚锁上你的嘴还吞了钥匙
Oh, good lord, Lemon.You just locked your mouth and then swallowed the key.
这其实讲不通 - 有虾吃
It makes no earthly sense.- Shrimp.
我为喜剧狂 第七季 第04集
Jenna的白♥痴♥螃蟹粉停不下来
Jenna's crab idiots won't shut up.
为什么被有狂犬病的狗咬过她还没死?
Why couldn't she have died when that rabid dog bit her?
那不是只狂犬
Oh, it wasn't rabid.
我是想让他们把它镇住才说的
I just said that so they'd have to put it down,
接着我成了狗粮广♥告♥的明星
and then I'd be the star of that dog-food commercial.
我得走别的街区绕开你的愚蠢的捕蟹人
I had to walk an extra block to get around your stupid crabcatchers.
我的医生对此态度很坚决 Jenna
My doctor's have been very clear about this, Jenna.
适当强度的运动会害死我
If I get moderate exercise, I'm gonna die!
我气你的成功 但只好假装是因为别的事
And I'm mad at your success,but pretending it's something else!
好吧 轮到我说了
Okay, speaking of me,
你们每人想买♥♥多少捕蟹者蟹形帽
how many crabcatchers fiesta crab hats would each of you like to buy,
价格令人难以置信 只要49.95美元?
at the unbelievable price of 49.95?
拜托 我头上有不用钱的虱子了 (crab螃蟹/阴虱)
Please. I've had a crab on my head for free!
我在说谎
I'm lying.
这些爪可以在你拔软木塞时帮你拿烟
The claws hold your cigarette while you uncork a "brew-Skye."
"拔软木塞"? - 你懂的 喀拉
"Uncork a 'brew-Skye'"?- Yeah, you know.
哔哩哔哩哔哩
Ka-zap. Blinky, blinky, blinky, blinky.
那些都说不上是对的音
Those aren't even the right noises.
大家都知道你讨厌这类东西
Everyone knows you hate stuff like this.
你也许是好莱坞最难伺候的怨妇
You're maybe the most high-maintenance bitch in Hollywood.
也许? 谁比我厉害? 能说出名字来吗?
Maybe? Who's more? Who is she?
好了 扔了这些蟹 让这些晒伤的讨厌鬼离开广场
Okay, cut this crap out,and get those sunburned "d" -bags out of the Plaza.
不会有人做的 Pete
Hey, no can will, Pete.
祝你们度过闲暇慵懒的一天...
But have an unwindulaxing day...
人生输家们 (那些治疗前后参照图的前者)
You medical office before-pictures.
我就从来没见过螃蟹
I've never even seen a crab.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我才不需要某些肯尼亚出生的大学教授 跟我说这公♥司♥并不是你办的
I don't need some Kenyan-born college professor telling me I didn't build my company.
因为我是靠恭敬对待我祖父才挣来那些基金的
Because I earned my trust fund by always being polite to grandfather.
Donaghy 现在还在NBC 跟那些共♥产♥主义者和同性恋们一起混吗?
Now, Donaghy, still over at NBC,with all those communists and homosexuals?
Reginald 我相信你是在说白宫吧
Reginald, I believe you're thinking of the white house.
但不会维持太长了 两个星期后 我们将重夺江山
But not for long.In two weeks, we take this country back.
不会再有官僚让我以医保的名义为女性的滥交补贴
And no bureaucrat can force me to subsidize female promiscuity in the name of health care.
你还好吗 朋友?
Are you okay, chum?
Michelle Obama在用类固醇
Michelle Obama's on steroids.
这里是6H录制室 由Tracy Jordan主演的TGS的家
And this is studio 6-h,home to TGS, starring Tracy Jordan.
天啊 这不是Jenna吗 自己人 帮我照张相
Oh, my god, it's Jenna.Visor lady, get a picture of me.
我要怎么做 按这个键吗?
What do I... press a button?
不 这相机是独一无二的
No, it's different from every other camera in the world.
天啊 我怎么才能躲开你们这些人啊
God, I can't escape you people.
放轻松 老友 在世界的某个角落现在肯定是狂欢时刻
Whoa, chill out, brother.It's beer o'clock somewhere.
你是个骗子!
You're a fraud!
而你看着就想一个掉在发廊里的套套一样
And you look like a condom that's been dropped on the floor of a barbershop.
你们都还玩得好吗?
Are you all unwindulaxing?
这家伙看上去可以放松一下
This guy looks like he could use a little "latitude" adjustment.
没礼貌 - 你能在我的刨腹产伤疤上签名吗?
Will you sign my cesarean scar?
你敢再来?!
You moron!
嘿 小失误一个 - 没错
Hey, just a party foul.- Exactly.
这就是为什么我刚才说 "你再来"
That's why I said, "you more on."
就是让你再让我身上泼的意思!
Like, "pour more on me!"
天啊 她在那些人面前没办法做自己
Oh, my god. - She can't be herself in front of these losers.
她要做"假面Jenna" 也就是说
She has to be "island Jenna," which means...
我们可以玩死她了 - 我们要去南瓜地?
We can mess with her.- We should go to a pumpkin patch?
整人模式 正式开启
Pranksmen, activate.
要是大企业没有及时英雄般的救赎 Obama的政策是不可能行得通的
Obama's bailout would never have worked if big business hadn't heroically taken it.
但是我们的游♥行♥在哪里?
But where's our parade?
那是胡话 - Lemon!
That's idiotic.- Lemon!
不 同志 你的这些虾还不够填我的嘴
No, sir.You don't have enough shrimp to buy my silence.
还有 你们已经没有虾了
Also, you are out of shrimp.
你明明懂的 Jack 你们都懂的
You know better, Jack.You all know better.
除了那些近亲繁殖的家伙们
Except for maybe the really inbred wasps.
谢谢你提到Gordeau!
You thank for mention Gordeau!
你们这些伪君子
You're hypocrites.
你们承认死刑 但为了食物而杀动物就可以吗?
You believe in the death penalty,but it's okay to kill animals for food?
我不知道我要怎么往下说
I don't know where I'm going with this yet.
等等!
Hang on. Hang on!
我男友和我还没结婚
My boyfriend and I aren't married.
但我们可能不管怎么样都会一起要孩子
But we might have a baby together anyway.
而我希望我的孩子是同性恋 男同性恋
And I hope it's gay... male gay.
因为女同们爬山太频繁了
Because with the ladies, it's too much hiking.
同性恋是不自然的 是吧?
But homosexuality is unnatural, right?
那为什么会有同性恋海豚呢? 你听到我说的了
Then why are there gay dolphins, people?You heard me.
他们在他们丈夫的出气口爱爱
They make love to their husband's blowholes.
我们看看教科书里面有没有这一课
Let's see that in some science textbooks.
是啊 不知道德州教育局有没有把这个写进去
Oh, that's right.The whole Texas board of education thing that I don't fully remember.
老师们应该每年挣一百万
Teachers should get paid a million dollars a year.
要是避孕药能制止勃起 你们去领驾驶证时应该就能免费拿了吧
If birth control pills fixed boners,you would get them free with your driver's license.
我们又是怎么知道上帝不是一棵树?
How do we know that god isn't a tree?
女士们先生们 这位是Elizabeth LEmon
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Elizabeth Lemon.
这就是我们即将要面对的挑战
And, uh, this is what we're up against.
想想由这样的人选出的总统陪伴我们四年
Four more years of a president chosen by people like her.
她还是纽约客的iPad订阅者
She has an iPad subscription to the new yorker.
她执意反对象牙贸易 尽管那能带来很多职位
She vehemently opposes the ivory trade,despite the jobs it creates.
在她家里还有一张几乎可以看出胸部的黑白照片
And in her apartment there is a black-and-white photograph where you can almost see a breast.
那是Leonard NImoy的作品