全民追女王

Why are we waiting?
怎么 他还在做头发吗
What, is he doing his hair?
我的天
What the...
你♥他♥妈♥穿的是什么玩意
What the fuck are you wearing?
是她让我穿的好吗
She bought me this shit. Okay?
这是传统的瑞典服装
It's a traditional Swedish suit.
我根本没看到他妈的有瑞典人穿成这样
I don't see another fucking Swede up in here dressed like this.
在这么短的时间内 我只能做到这样了
It's all I could do on such short notice.
你可以把夹克脱了 这可能会好一些
You just take the jacket off, it's going to make it better.
这看起来好像更加 我的天
It's just... Make it look... Oh, my God.
穿上夹克是不是更好些呢 好极了
Better with the jacket on? Great.
戏弄新人是吧 我懂了
Razzing the new guy, I get it.
记住你了 玛吉
Fuck you, Maggie.
冷静点 菜鸟
Calm the Smurf down.
下次记得自己带他妈的正装
Bring a fucking suit next time.
你喜欢那个演讲稿吗
Do you like the speech?
喜欢 演讲稿挺好的
Yes, the speech is good.
弗雷德 你得待在后面
Oh, you're going to have to stay way back there, Fred.
弗拉斯基 待在后面
Just stay back, Flarsky. Okay?
她需要专心工作
She's got to focus.
为什么
On what?
让印度和中国同意加入这个计划
Getting India and China to agree to be a part of this initiative.
他们至今还没同意吗
They haven't even agreed to be a part of it yet?
他们会的 我们还得整理一些细节
They will, we just have to sort out a few details.
这一整篇演讲稿
We just wrote a whole speech
都建立在他们同意加入的前提下写的
about how they're on-board already.
别担心 弗雷德
Don't worry, Fred.
你只需要待在这儿
You just stay here and make sure
别让任何糖果大♥陆♥的人进来就行了
nobody from Candy Land needs their car parked, okay?
你还需要一个段子手干什么
I don't know why you needed a writer.
这就够毒舌了
Those are sick burns.
来自美♥利♥坚♥合众国的
Secretary of State Charlotte Field
国务卿夏洛特·菲尔德
of the United States of America.
陛下 殿下
Your Majesty. Your Highness.
-殿下 -幸会
- Your Highness. - Pleasure.
不 谢谢 我现在正在工作
No, thank you. I'm working right now.
要知道你也在工作
And you know you are, too.
我知道啊
I do know that.
但是你把我打扮得像基佬船长一样
But you dressed me like Cap'n Crunch's Grindr date,
所以我就喝酒来让你不爽
so I'm going to drink to make you uncomfortable.
其实弗雷德你本身就让我很不爽了
Honestly, Fred, your entire life makes me uncomfortable.
你好吗
What's up？
不 草他妈
Oh no, fuck me.
我们撞衫了啊
对
Yes.
我们都是在同一家秘密商店买♥♥的
We both shop in the same mystical village, I see.
你看上去很棒
对 你看上去也很棒
Yes, you look great.
-恭喜 -干杯
- Congratulations. - Skal.
干杯 敬你一杯
Skal. Skal to you, too.
再见
再见
Yes, adjö.
再见
adjö.
天呐
Jesus.
我们正在对演讲稿进行一些修改
Hey, we're making a few revisions to the speech.
什么
What?
我们失去了海洋这部分 所以去掉它
So we're losing the "Seas" part, so go cut that,
然后重新想一些段子
and then brainstorm a couple of other funny lines
加在森林的部分
for the "Trees" section, okay?
等等 等一下
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
失去了海洋这部分 为什么
Losing the Seas part, why?
因为印度不会同意的
Because India wouldn't go for it.
所以我们得调整重心
So we had to pivot.
这可不是转移重心
That's not a pivot,
那可是整个第三部分
that's a third of the whole fucking shit.
你在开玩笑吗 就这样去掉吗
Are you kidding me? That's it, it's just gone?
对 去掉
Yeah, it's gone.
我们就坐视不管吗
And there's nothing we can do?
不管 你不用操心了
No. And you don't have to worry about it.
你只需要去电脑上 打字就行了
Just go over to the computer. Start typey-typing.
不
Well, no.
老子不干
I'm not gonna do that.
那你辞职了 好我同意了
So you quit, resignation accepted.
我会重新改一份演讲稿
I will rewrite the speech.
我让你改才怪
Oh, the fuck you will!
搞什么
What the fuck?
-你不能 -让开
- You don't... - Let go!
借过 让一下
Look out. Excuse me!
停 停下 别跑了
Stop running! Stop running! Stop running!
弗雷德 停下
Fred, stop running!
弗雷德
Fred...
你为什么这样做
Why did you do that?
因为我不会让你们
Because I will not have you damage
破坏我写的东西的完整性
the integrity of my writing!
你写的东西的完整性
The integrity of your writing?
你就是个段子手
You're a punch-up writer,
又不是著名作家马娅·安杰卢
you're not Maya Angelou!
怎么回事
What is going on?
你怎么回事小老弟
What's going on with you, bruh?
你刚叫我小老弟
Did you just call me "bruh"?
-她可是美国的国务卿 -他醉了吗
- She's the secretary of state. - Is he high?
他醉了 但他也许就是傻
He is wasted, but he's also just stupid.
等会到会议室碰面 我来处理
Meet me in the conference room, I'll handle this.
怎么回事 弗雷德
What's the deal, Fred?
怎么回事 回事 事
What's the deal? What's the deal? What are...
我在这的唯一原因
The only reason I'm here
是你说过你在乎这个
is 'cause you told me you cared about this shit,
然后就在我出来抽个烟的功夫
and in the time I come out here to have a smoke,
你♥他♥妈♥就把整篇最重要的一点给去掉了
you fucking got rid of a massive element of the whole thing.
我还留下了两点 我只去掉了一点
I got two out of three. I only lost one.
海洋的那一点
That one was the seas.
覆盖了地球表面的75%
It covers 75% of the planet!
-很大的一点 -小声点
- It's a pretty big one! - Bring down your voice.
你知道我为什么生气吗
You know why I'm upset?
因为这事我早就想到过
This is exactly what I thought was going to happen.
我说过 我在你办公室就说过
And I even said it. I said it in your office.
我不想为那些扯淡的狗屁政客写文章
I don't want to write for some bullshit politician.
我想为你而写
I wanted to write for you.
因为我觉得你在乎它
Because I thought you cared about this shit.
在你掌控比赛前 你得先遵守比赛规则
Until you're running the game, you have to play the game.
那么在你掌控比赛之后
Well, then, by the time you win the game,
你不知道是谁把球踢进谁的篮筐
you don't know who's scoring touchdowns on whose nets,
你也不知道是谁的本垒打
and you don't know who's hitting home runs
在谁他妈的端区
in whose fucking end zones!
-你在瞎说什么 -我不懂球
- What are you talking about? - I don't know sports.
我用吃的重新打比方
Let me try it with food.
你想开餐厅 但你只有筷子
You wanna open a restaurant. But all you got is chopsticks.
不 我没有时间在这里和你瞎扯
No! I don't have time for this, okay?
你想走就他妈的走吧
If you want to quit, then just fucking quit.
-我不在乎 -对 你不在乎
- I don't give a shit. - Yeah, you don't give a shit.
-我就是不在乎 -你以前他妈的在乎
- No, I don't. - You used to fucking give a shit,
但你现在又什么都不在乎了
but now you don't give a shit about anything.
高中时 比起我你更在乎回收利用
You cared more about recycling in high school
这让我很失望
than you do this shit and it's very disappointing to me.
草他妈 我还要演讲呢
Fuck this. I've got a speech to give.
好 祝你演讲顺利
Oh, yeah, good luck giving it,
反正演讲稿在我电脑里 我扔雪地了
it's on my computer in the snow.
我有备份 你这大傻瓜
I have copies, you idiot.
你把你的电脑扔进了雪地里 就是这样
You just threw your computer in the snow, that's it.
不 靠
Oh, no! Shit!
卧♥槽♥
Oh, God damn it!
它湿透了 我需要一碗米
It's soaked! I need a bowl of rice!