全民追女王

-对 -谢天谢地
- Yeah. - Oh, thank God.
你这么一说让我感觉好多了
That actually makes me feel better.
意味着我没有反应过度
Means I didn't overreact.
天啊 你可是完全反应过度了
Oh, God, no, you completely overreacted.
是啊 也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
跟你一起不是我人生中最糟糕的时刻
I can think of worse ways to go than here with you.
这反而是我一生中最美好的几周
Honestly, this has been like, the best few weeks of my entire life.
你不用非得跟我说你也有同样的感觉
You don't have to say it back to me.
即使你说了我也知道是安慰我
I know it's not true for you.
去年我看见你在慈善音乐会
I saw you sing with Bruce Springsteen last year,
和布鲁斯·斯普林斯汀一起唱歌♥
at that benefit concert. That was probably
那周可能要美好得多
a way better week.
只是举一个例子
Just as an example.
跟你在一起仅次于他
Well, this is a pretty close second.
真的吗 跟老板比我第二
Really? To The Boss?
对
Yeah.
那很好
That's nice.
我觉得你想我现在亲你
I feel like maybe you want me to kiss you right now,
不过我不想再犯25年前
but I don't want to make the same stupid mistake
犯的那个愚蠢的错误
I made 25 years ago.
不会是愚蠢的错误
Wouldn't be a stupid mistake.
等等 真的吗
Wait... Really?
我们已确保了这里的安全
We've secured the location.
不过我们得转移你们 直升机在待命
But we need to move you. The helicopter is standing by.
谢谢 M探员
Thank you, Agent M.
我靠
Holy shit.
直升机的声音
That helicopter was way louder
比我想的要吵得多
than I thought it was gonna be.
-弗雷德 够了 -抱歉 很抱歉
- Fred, enough. Enough. - I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
不过我们在这儿安全了
We're safe here though?
-对 -我的天 弗雷德
- Yes! - Oh, my God, Fred!
这边
This way.
这个地方看起来真不错
This place looks really nice.
弗雷德 现在我要你和我去
Fred, I need you to come work
准备那个演讲稿
on that speech with me, right now.
-现在吗 -对 现在
- Right now? - Yeah. Right now.
好
Okay.
等等 我把裤子脱了
Hang on, get my pants off.
好 我也要脱掉裤子 靠
Okay, I gotta, too. Shit.
-我们在滚床单吗 -对
- We're doing it? - Yeah!
快点 来吧
Do it faster. Let's do it.
就快脱下来了
They're coming off!
他妈的的收脚裤 靠
Fucking tapered pants. Shit!
草
Fuck!
别管了 算了吧 就这样吧
Okay, just leave it! Just leave it! Leave it!
好 行
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
我可以进了吗
Should I go in, then?
进吧
Yeah, enter.
爽 真爽 太爽了
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, no!
-我马上就要♥射♥了♥ -我也快高♥潮♥了
- I'm gonna come really soon. - Me too.
-真的吗 -对
- Really? - Yeah!
爽翻了
Oh, God! Oh!
爽死了
Oh, boy!
-爽 -好爽
- Oh, God! Okay. - Oh, my God!
-我射了 -好 快
- I'm coming out. - Okay, come on.
爽 爽啊 草
Oh, God. Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck!
我的天 抱歉
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
我不知道怎么会这样
I don't know what happened.
-通常我高♥潮♥时间没那么短 -我可不是
- I usually last way longer than that. You know? - Not me.
很奇怪
That was weird.
高♥潮♥我们都喊的是爽死了
We both said, "Oh, boy" when we came...
-对 我正在想这个 -而且同时
- Yeah, that's what I was thinking. - ...at the same time.
-之前从没发生过 -我也没那么说过
- That's never happened before. - I've never said that.
-对 -超奇怪
- Yeah. - Super strange.
我们可以再来一次吗
Should we do that again?
好 我的手在抖 等一会
Yeah, my hands are shaking, I need a minute.
这个小家伙是谁
Who's this little guy?
我当时在写一篇关于新纳粹党的文章
I was a writing an article about neo-Nazis
我得在身上纹一个
and I had to get a bottom half
下半身的纳粹符号♥
of a swastika tattooed on me...
-我的天 -这样他们才不会杀我
- Oh, my God. - ...so they wouldn't kill me
我不想要这个符号♥
and I didn't want that,
所以我加了双小鞋子 让他像个火柴人
so I added little shoes and I made him a little stick man
我给他取名为阿道夫·火柴特勒
and I named him Adolf Stickler.
谁也不会知道他有一双纳粹腿
You'd never know he had little swastika legs.
-不会 -他很高兴
- No. - He's so happy about it.
对 它们看起来就像裤子
I know, they just look like pants.
谁也不知道他诞生于仇恨之火
You'd never know he was born in the fires of hatred.
我饿了
Man, I am hungry.
几点了
What time is it?
我都不知道今天是几号♥
I couldn't tell you what fucking day it is.
这是哪里 我们现在在哪里
And where... Where are we right now?
我不知道
I don't have a clue.
你不知道吗
You don't know?
不知道 他们就把我们丢在这里
No. They just dropped us here.
他们用直升机把我们带到这里
They just took us here on the helicopter.
早上好 弗拉斯基先生
Good morning, Mr. Flarsky.
天呐
Jesus!
你吓到我了
You scared me, man.
你能不告诉别人那件事吗
Could you maybe not tell anybody about this?
他们也不会相信的
They wouldn't believe me anyway.
也是
Fair enough.
祝你好运
Good luck, man.
谢谢
Thank you.
这些直升机很吓人
These helicopters are scary.
没事的 弗雷德 呼吸
It's gonna be fine, Fred. Just breathe.
一二三四
One, two, three, four.
一二三四
One, two, three, four.
我现在觉得很开心
I feel so happy right now!
我开始意识到
Like, I'm beginning to realize,
我可能从没这么幸福过
I may have never been happy.
这可能是我第一次感到幸福
This might be the first time I ever felt happy.
这感觉不错
And it feels good.
这就像史上最好的事降临在你身上
This is like, the best shit that's ever happened.
今晚好像有一个非常盛大的晚宴
There's like this crazy big banquet thing tonight,
她给我弄了一套燕尾服
and she gave me like a tuxedo to wear.
不是约会
And it's not like a date,
但感觉像是约会
but it kinda feels like a date.
我怎样才不会搞砸 简直是不可能的
How do I not fuck this up? Seems impossible.
哥们 你需要给自己一些肯定
Dude, you just need to give yourself affirmation, man.
你得 得说你值得拥有爱
You need to... You need to say that you're worthy of love, man.
我值得拥有爱
I am worthy of love.
好的 现在你得说一万遍
All right, now you gotta say it 10,000 more times,
直到你自己都信了
until you believe it.
好 我得挂了
Okay, look, I gotta go.
我不知道他妈的怎么打领结
I have no fucking clue how to tie a bow tie.
好吧
All right, man. Hey!
勇敢点
Be bold!
你好
Hi.
你看起来很漂亮
You look really pretty.
谢谢
Thank you.
你看起来也很帅
You look really pretty, too.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢你给的这身礼服
Thanks for the suit.
我们可能该入场了
We should probably head in.
-可以吗 -可以
- Shall we? - Yeah.
太棒了
This is awesome.
在阿根廷很酷
It's cool being in Argentina.
我想那个杀我祖父母的家伙
I think the guys who killed my grandparents
就藏在这里的某个地方
are hiding here somewhere.