全民追女王

Great. Seemed very restful.
好
Okay.
我觉得这些段子有点像生气发火
I feel like these jokes are a little angry.
我以为这些段子都很一针见血
I thought maybe they were, like, emphatic?
液压钻头每插一下
"With every fracking drill thrust,
我们就在地球母亲屁♥眼♥里顶一下
"we are literally butt-fucking Mother Earth"?
我能改成正常的草
It can be normal fucking.
不用非得是屁♥眼♥
It doesn't have to be in the butt.
我也能把那部分去掉
I can take that part out.
对 听着 弗雷德
Yeah, listen, Fred.
如果我生气发火 人们会说我歇斯底里
If I'm angry, I'm hysterical.
如果我多愁善感 人们会说我软弱无能
If I'm emotional, I'm weak.
如果我提高嗓门 人们会说我就是贱♥人♥
If I so much as raise my voice, I'm a bitch.
我的工作真难
My job's hard.
没我的难
Not as hard as mine.
我觉得可能问题在于
I think maybe, like, part of the problem
很多段子都是基于
is that, like, a lot of humor is based on,
个人经历
like, personal experiences.
我在想
I was thinking, you know,
你从高中起就很在乎环保
you cared a lot about the environment since high school.
所以可以在那上面作文章
So maybe include some stories about that.
-高中 -对
- High school? - Yeah.
你觉得那能有趣吗
You think that's funny?
我觉得有很大创作空间
I think it's a good area.
怀旧文化 流行文化都能借鉴
Nostalgia, pop culture references.
人们喜闻乐见
People love that.
脱口秀的吉米•肥伦就是靠这个走红的
Jimmy Fallon's made an entire career off of that.
当我回想高中的时候 只有学习
When I think about school, I just think about studying.
不 远远不止这些
No, you did so much more than that.
我觉得你1991年的演讲都非常出彩
I think your whole 1991 platform was pretty on-point
你竞选学生会的那年
when you were running for Student Council.
我记得你说过 学校的每个人
I remember you said, "Everyone at this school
都假装在乎弱者
"pretends to care about the underdog,
但地球是最大的弱者
"but the planet Earth is "the biggest underdog of them all."
诸如此类
Something like that.
我说过吗
I said that?
对 你说过
Yeah, you did say that.
你在厨房♥做披萨
You were in the kitchen, making pizza.
我们为你竞选制♥作♥标语
We were making signs for your election.
你穿着一件衬衫
And you were wearing that shirt.
不知道上面是印着草莓还是花儿
I don't know if it was a strawberry or a flower,
我总是搞不清楚
it always confused me.
两个都有
It was both.
你想起来了
there you go.
那就是我关于那晚的全部记忆了
That's all I remember about that night, though.
我就能想起这么多了
that's where my memories concerning that evening expire.
我从竞选之中学到很多
I learned a lot from that election.
对 比起煞费苦心的循环利用计划
Yeah, that kids are probably more likely to vote for two proms
那群小孩更可能投票给两场舞会
than a very elaborate recycling program.
大人也是
Not only kids.
对 是这样的
Yeah, that's true.
你知道他曾邀请我去那些舞会吗
Did you know he asked me out to one of those proms?
-比尔·斯特林吗 -对
- Bill Sterling? - Yeah.
在他赢了你之后
After he beat you?
-对 -第一场还是第二场
- Yup. - Prom one or prom two?
他个傻冒 第二场舞会可配不上你
What a fuckhead! You're way better than prom two.
我至今为止从没去过舞会
I went to zero proms, by the way, for the record.
我觉得你在这件事上很聪明
I think you're the smart one in this situation.
对 那就是我不去舞会的原因
Yes, that's why I didn't go to prom.
因为我太聪明了
'Cause I was too smart.
酷 我要开始写演讲稿了
Cool. I'll get to work on that speech stuff.
好
Great.
弗雷德
Hey, Fred.
在
Yeah.
如果你想写点正经东西 就放手去写
You know, if you want to try some non-joke stuff, just go ahead.
真的吗 我可以写演讲稿的主体部分吗
Really? Like the main part of the speech?
对 写就是了
Yeah. Just write.
酷 太好了 谢谢
Cool. Awesome. Thanks.
如果你想再打个盹
If you take another nap,
你应该戴个自行车头盔
you should put on, like, a bicycle helmet or something.
以防你会摔倒 飞机会遇上气流呢
'Cause you're gonna tip over, there's turbulence.
那真是个好主意
That's actually a really good idea.
是啊 照顾好自己
It is. I want you to be careful.
-对 -我们需要你
- Yeah. - We need you.
-你好大使 -欢迎来到瑞典
- Ambassador. - Welcome to Sweden.
很高兴能再次见到你
Nice to see you again.
我也是
Yeah, you too.
希望能在晚餐时与你再次碰面
I look forward to seeing you tonight at dinner.
好
Yes.
国务卿女士
Uh, Madam Secretary,
我想告诉你一些好点子
I have some ideas I wanna throw by you.
等会再说 弗雷德
Yeah, soon, Fred.
汤姆 你安排好行程了吗
Tom, do you have the schedule?
是的 女士
Yes, of course, ma'am.
弗拉斯基 你坐后面
In the back, Flarsky!
8点15分 你将出席今晚的庆典
Then at 8:15, you have a fitting for tonight's gala.
8点45分 与伊♥拉♥克♥总理马苏姆通话
Then at 8:45, a call with Iraqi Prime Minister Masum,
9点15分 与西班牙总统特梅尔通话
9:15, a call to Brazilian President Temer
商讨乱砍滥伐的问题
about deforestation issues.
2点15分 与英国外♥交♥部♥长格林通话
2:15, you have a call with U.K. Foreign Secretary Green
讨论关于你去苏格兰几周行程的相关事宜
to discuss your tour of Scotland in a few weeks.
2点25分 你得与《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》谈谈
2:25, then you have a call with New York Times
对上一次总统在推特攻击
to comment on POTUS' latest Instagram attack
喀什塔尔的总理巴拉特事件的看法
on Prime Minister Bharath of Kashtar.
5点45分 与瑞典外交礼宾司司长
At 5:45, we're meeting with the head
英格丽德·米内尔武多迪尔见面
of Sweden's Diplomatic Protocol,
讨论今晚的行程安排
Ingrid Minervudottir, to discuss tonight's schedule.
好的 这之后呢
Okay. And then after that?
帕克·福克斯一直想要和你见面
Also, Parker Wembley keeps trying to get some face time with you.
天啊 帕克先放一边吧
Oh, God. Parker can wait.
-好 弗雷德 开始吧 -好的
- Okay, Fred. Go. - Yeah, sure. Um...
基于我们昨晚的谈话
So, uh, you know, based on what we were talking about last night,
我试着写了一整篇演讲稿
I just took a stab at the whole speech, basically.
很好啊
That's good.
-谢谢 -不过这里不行
- Thank you. - This part isn't.
好的 你说不想听起来像生气
Okay, well, you said you didn't want to sound too angry.
我也不想像个脑瘫
I also don't want to sound like I have a head injury.
好吧 我会改掉这个的
Okay. Uh, I'll go change it.
好极了 谢谢
Great. Thanks.
好了 开始吧
Okay, here we go.
好了
All right.
弗雷德
Fred.
在
Yeah?
你今晚能穿得正式点吗
Do you have any grown-up clothes to wear tonight?
我得 我在想
I was gonna... I was thinking
把拉链拉上来 到这儿
of zipping this up all the way, like to here.
应该就会更加
That's kind of a little more...
正式一些
It's, like, slightly more buttoned up.
国务卿女士
You know what, Madam Secretary,
我会很乐意为弗雷德打扮的
I would be delighted to dress Fred for tonight.
谢谢你 玛吉
Thank you, Maggie.
我真是受宠若惊
I'd be thrilled to have you dress me for tonight's event.
多么有趣的经历
What a fun adventure.
有机会打扮打扮
Get a little makeover.
好的 祝你们愉快
All right, have a good one.
谢谢 弗雷德
Thank you, Fred.
哪里 我才要谢你
Why, thank you.
然后该打招呼了
...and then it's saying hello,
你入座 用餐
you'll sit down, we'll have dinner,
-我把你叫走 -弗拉斯基在哪
- I'll pull you up... - Where's Flarsky?
为什么他还没来