全民追女王

Empty my pockets?
好吧 这真是
All right. That's...
看看会有什么呢
Let's see how this goes.
我猜你应该和普通的警♥察♥不一样吧
Not a regular cop, I assume.
你应该有更重要的事情做吧
Got bigger fish to fry than just normal cop shit, right?
好吧 我开始掏了
So, uh, okay. Let's do it.
那是医生开的药 用来抗焦虑的
That's prescription. For anxiety. Uh...
如果你想长时间跳舞 但是又跳不动
This is if you can't dance for a long time and you want to.
这是用来增加活力的处方药
That's prescription as well, for, uh, lack of energy.
就是能量粉
That's energy powder.
这些是用来卷抗焦虑药的
These are to wrap the anxiety medication in
它能从医学的角度让你正确地吸入药粉
when inhaling it medicinally.
这是能让抗焦虑药以蒸汽的形式
That's if you want to vaporize the anxiety medicine,
吸入的工具
which I have a prescription for.
这是根麻烟
And that's a blunt.
你好
Hi.
可以请你过来签一下这个吗
Will you sign this, please?
-什么东西 -NDA
- What is it? - It's an NDA.
保密协议
A non-disclosure agreement?
-没错 -好的
- That's right. - Okay.
-我的天 -弗雷德
- Oh, my God. - Fred.
很高兴又见到你了
Hey, nice to see you again.
-我也是 -过来吧
- Hi, you too. - Come on in.
请坐
Take a seat.
你摔下来没受伤真是谢天谢地
Good to see you were not injured from that fall.
我觉得是我的帽檐
Oh, yeah, you know what? I actually think the brim of my hat
最终护住我的容颜
kind of protected my face ultimately.
所以谢天谢地我没穿正装啊
So, thank God I was underdressed in the end, right?
你没事就好
Well, as long as you're good.
-我没事 -很好
- I'm okay. - Yeah. Great.
为什么叫我来
Why am I here?
以下我要跟你说的是
What I'm about to share with you
高度机密的
is, obviously, highly confidential.
是吗
yeah.
保持低调
Keep it on the down low.
钱伯斯总统不打算连任
President Chambers will not be seeking reelection.
真的吗
Really?
对
Yes.
超赞的 太棒了
That's fucking sick! That's awesome.
你想把这个好消息跟每个人都说一遍吗
Are you telling each American individually the good news?
他是刚意识到自己干得超烂
I mean but seriously. Did he just realize he sucks at it
然后打算不干了吗
and decide not to do it anymore?
他只是想进军电影行业
He just wants to move into film and make movies.
-真的吗 -对
- Really? - Yeah.
太酷了 那真是个艰难的转型
That's cool. That's a tough transition to make.
从电视到电影行业转型成功的演员不多
Not many actors have made the leap from TV to film.
比如说伍迪·哈里森 乔治·克鲁尼
You got George Clooney, you got Woody Harrelson...
杰尼弗•安妮斯顿
Jennifer Aniston.
她也算吗
did she though?
你不觉得杰尼弗•安妮斯顿是电影明星吗
You don't think Jennifer Aniston's a movie star?
演过电影并不意味着就是电影明星
Just 'cause starts in movies doesn't mean you're a movie star.
关键在于
The point is...
他将推举我参加2020年的大选
He's going to endorse me for president in 2020.
-对 -祝你成功
- I know. - Mazel tov.
我们要去参加一个环保峰会
So. We're headed to an environmental summit
由国王古斯塔夫和瑞典王室举办
hosted by King Gustav and the Swedish Royal Family.
我会在峰会上宣布
At the summit, I'll be announcing
世界前三污染杀手
that the world's three largest polluters
已经签署了有史以来最全面
have signed on to the most comprehensive
最激动人心的环保协议
and exciting environmental deal ever.
我喝完牛奶之后
You know, after I have some dairy,
就会是世界前三污染杀手之一
I'm one of the world's three largest polluters.
我没听错吧
Excuse me?
我们会解决海平面上升
We'll address rising sea levels,
防止乱砍滥伐
combat deforestation
保护传粉昆虫
and protect the world's pollinators.
我称之为全球康复计划
I'm calling it the Global Rehabilitation Initiative.
在内部我们称其为 海洋蜜蜂森林
Internally, we're referring to it as "Bees, Trees and the Seas."
在那之后
Soon after that,
我希望能让100个国家签署这个协议
I hope to announce that 100 countries have signed on.
届时我将辞去国务卿的职务
At which point... I will resign as secretary of state.
用这个计划当跳板
Using this initiative as a springboard,
然后我将宣布参加2020年大选
I will announce my presidential run in 2020.
酷
Cool.
我需要段子手来润色我的演讲稿
So I need some writers to punch up my speeches.
我读过你的作品并且十分喜欢
I read your work and I really like it.
那真是
That's...
你说过你在待业中
You mentioned you were between jobs.
所以这很适合你
So it's a really good fit.
你能想着我真是太好了
It's so nice of you to think of me at all,
还有你想的所有事
honestly, with everything going on in your head.
我希望能与你共事
I look forward to working with you.
谢谢
Thank you.
所以什么时候告知你
So, when do you need to know by?
什么 我不明白
What? I don't understand.
什么时候告知你我是否打算接这份
When do you need to know if I'm going to take your, uh,
段子手的工作
your punch-up job?
现在
Right now.
那我想 可能 可能不会接吧
Then I guess, maybe... Maybe, no?
可能不会接吧 不知道 我不知道
Maybe no, I don't know. I don't know!
国务卿女士
You know what, Madam Secretary,
他不感兴趣 我们试过了 没用
he's not interested. We tried, it didn't work out.
我能给你找些别的范本
So I can give you some writing samples...
你不知道什么
What don't you know?
整个海洋蜜蜂森林计划
This whole Seas, Bees and Trees thing.
真的有用吗
Is it actually going to do something?
或者说真能发挥其中之一的作用吗
Or is it going to be one of those things
可能只是特别中听
that maybe only sounds like it's gonna do something,
但不中用
but doesn't actually do something?
我乐意为你效劳
I only wanna come work for you
如果这真有用的话
if it's actually gonna do something.
它会有用的
It will do something.
这是一份完美的计划
This is a perfect document.
最终都会虎头蛇尾
They all start out that way and then they get watered down.
弗雷德
Fred.
这项新政不光中听
Not only does this initiative sound good,
也很中用
it's going to do good.
它能拯救他妈的这个星球
It's gonna save the fucking planet.
更不要说拯救你的房♥租
Not to mention, pay your rent.
所以你要加入吗
So, are you in?
还是说你有更重要的事去拯救
Or do you have something more important to do?
比和你一起拯救星球还重要的事
Than save the planet with you?
不 没有 我加入
No, I don't. I'm in.
那我们一起拯救地球吧
Let's save the planet.
那真是
That was...
怎么回事 她真是太棒了
What just happened? She's good.
我写了几个段子想跟让你看看
Hey, I had some jokes, I was gonna run by you,
如果你有空的话
maybe, if you have a second.
你在 你在看什么
What are you... What are you looking at?
-妈呀 -我的天
- Jesus! - Oh, my God!
为什么你在我睡觉的时候突然闯进来
Why would you just barge in here while I'm sleeping?
-你在睡觉 -对
- You were sleeping? - Yes!
我就打个微盹
I was micro napping.
-还有这么个词吗 -对
- That's what you call that? - Yes.
抱歉 我不知道你在睡觉
Sorry, I didn't realize you were sleeping.
你明明站着而且眼睛还睁着
You were standing and your eyes were open.
你有什么事吗
Do you need something?
我写了几个段子
I have some jokes that I wrote
想让你看看 如果你有空的话
that I was gonna run by you if you have a second.
好 刚刚也算睡了个好觉
Yeah, that was actually a really good nap.
太好了 看着真是特别放松