全民追女王

他为了让钱伯斯当选而编故事
he ran fake stories to help get Chambers elected.
不 他们不能证明这一点
No, they couldn't prove that.
我们证明了
We proved it!
我写了三篇关于这事的报道
I wrote three articles about it!
都是你刊登的
You published them!
是我
I did.
这家伙嘴里吐出来的都是狗屎
The shit that comes out of this fucking guy's mouth...
他说飓风是同性结婚造成的
He said hurricanes were caused by gay marriage.
我都不知道那这他妈的原理是什么
I don't even get how that fucking works.
我连这中间怎么推理出来的都不知道
I don't even get the math on that one.
弗雷德 结束了
Fred, it's done, all right?
结束了
It's done?
他们正在楼上完成交易呢
They're upstairs finalizing the deal right now.
我们得裁员三分之二
Look, we have to cut two-thirds of our staff.
三分之二
Two-thirds?
对
Yeah.
但我们想让你留下
But we wanna keep you on.
他们想让你留下
They wanna keep you on.
只是
It's just...
你得收敛点
You just have to tone it down a little bit.
这已经是我
I don't know how I can tone things down any more
最收敛的状态了
than I'm toning them down.
弗雷德 你是个优秀的作家
Okay, Fred. You're a great writer.
谢谢
Thank you.
你很有趣 你敢冒险 你善交流
All right, you're funny, you take risks, you connect with people.
我觉得马上就要转折了
I'm sensing a twist in this.
你见解独到 真实可靠
You have a distinct, authentic voice,
但是
but...
有时候你有点太过了
Sometimes you're a little too much.
我不觉得太过了
I don't think I am too much!
我觉得 正正刚刚好
I actually think I'm the perfect right portion.
你保住了你的工作
Look, you have your job.
专心工作 只是稍微收敛一点点
Okay, focus on that and just toe the line a little bit.
老子辞职
You know what? I quit.
别这样 弗雷德
Oh, come on, Fred.
你也该辞职 每个人都他妈的该辞职
You should quit, too. Everyone should fucking quit.
不 我不会辞职的 我需要工作
No, I'm not gonna quit, I need my job.
我也需要他妈的工作 我身无分文
I need my fucking job, too. I'm broke, man!
但我不会为他工作
But I can't work for that guy.
起码让我炒了你 还有遣散费可拿
At least let me fire you so you can get unemployment.
他妈的没门
No fucking way!
我要让他知道 老子不干了
I want him to know that I quit.
他永远不会知道的 他都没听说过你
He's never gonna know it he's never heard of you.
你为了报复一个都没听说过你的人
You're gonna destroy your life
要毁了你的人生吗
to spite a guy who's never heard of you?
对 你说得对 我就要这么做
Yes! You said it best! That's exactly what I'm doing.
你这个决定很傻 我对你太失望了
You're making bad decisions and it's bumming me out, man.
彼此彼此
Well, that makes two of us.
去他妈的 新闻业今天已死
Fuck this. Journalism died today, people.
你好 我是弗雷德·弗拉斯基
Yes, hello, this is, uh, Fred Flarsky.
我只是
Um... I, uh,
只是想说我最近被迫辞职
was just calling to say that I was forced to quit my job recently,
成为自♥由♥撰稿人了
making me something of a free agent.
我知道以前
And I know in the past, uh,
你说我不是《泰♥晤♥士♥报♥》想要的人
you said I'm not exactly what The Times was looking for,
但我只是打来看看有没有什么转机
but I was just calling to see if anything's changed.
请给我回个电♥话♥ 非常感谢
Uh, just give me a ring. Thank you so much.
兰斯 我是弗雷德
Yo, Lance. It's Fred. Um...
我失业了 我很丧
I lost my job and I'm very sad.
我能去找你吗
Can I come by?
我们需要安排一个会议
We need to schedule a meeting
看看他们有什么要说的
and see what they have to say.
失陪
Excuse me.
我真不敢相信他们这样对你
Man, I can't believe they did you like that.
糟透了 气死我了
It's fucked up. I'm pissed.
但是你会好起来的 我们走吧
But you're gonna feel a lot better, man, we're leaving.
你现在就可以下班吗
You can leave work right now?
我他妈的当然可以下班了
Yeah, I can fucking leave.
你看到这间大办公室了吗
You see this corner office?
这表示我可以随时离开
That's a "I can leave this bitch
这个操蛋的地方
"whenever I want" corner office.
来吧 哥们
Come on, man.
所有人注意
Everybody!
这是我最好的哥们 他今天刚失业
This is my best friend, and he just lost his job today. All right?
他心情烂到谷底
He's at rock bottom.
还没那么惨
It's not that bad.
他心情差到极点
He feels like shit.
我会让他满血复活的
And I'm gonna make him feel better.
从我们在大学起就有一个传统
It's been a tradition since we were in college,
当其中一个人丧的时候
when one of us feels sad,
另一个必须让他嗨起来
the other one has to get him fucked up.
像小甜甜布兰妮在2005年左右剃光头
I'm talking Britney Spears, mid-2000s bald head,
差点把娃摔了那回那么嗨
almost dropping the baby fucked up.
不指点 不评论
No judgement. No judgement.
我需要取消我所有安排 桑德尔
I need my schedule cleared, Zander.
我什么都不想干
I don't want to do shit.
我明天之前都不在
I'm going off-grid till tomorrow.
要不这样
Matter of fact...
大家都放假一天
Everybody's got the day off.
大家都放假 都放假
Everybody's got the day off. Y'all got the day off.
所有人都下班吧
Everybody, go home.
我很感激你们所有人的辛苦工作
I'm so appreciative of all of you guys' hard work.
我爱你们每一个人
I love every single one of you.
除了你 泰德
Except you, Ted!
星期五的百吉饼是给所有人的 泰德
Bagel Friday is for everybody, Ted!
你觉得我们不知道是你拿走的吗
You don't think we know you taking the bagels?
对 泰德 烂透了
Yeah, Ted, not cool.
桑德尔
Zander.
在
Yeah?
我要两听葡萄柚汽水
I need two cans of the Pamplemousse La Croix.
里面加尊尼获加蓝牌威士忌和大♥麻♥油
I need that filled with Johnnie Walker Blue and CBD oil.
你要吧
Do you want one?
我被整惨了 哥们
I got fucked, man.
你像色情片里的继母一样被整惨了
Yeah, you got fucked like a stepmom on Pornhub.
每个人都会摊上这种事
Well, it happens to everybody.
我以前也失业过 烂透了
I've been unemployed before, it sucks.
但我没要任何施舍
But I didn't ask for any handouts.
我凭一己之力站起来走到现在
I picked myself up by my bootstraps and got to it.
我们现在要去哪里
Where are we going right now?
史上最棒的一天 弗雷德 别操心了
Best day ever, Fred. Don't worry about it.
我已经安排了一个完美的下午
I've got this dope afternoon planned for us.
我们先喝完这些
First we're going to finish these Pamplemousse's.
再抽个烟
Play at the park.
然后去彼得·卢格餐厅
After that we're going to go to Peter Luger's,
给你来一份上好的牛排
get you a nice fat steak,
最后去世界野生动物基金筹资会
and then finish it off with a World Wildlife Fund benefit.
我不太想去那些有钱人的聚会
I don't know if I want to go to some fancy rich person party.
什么 别这样 哥们 别那么挑剔
What... Oh, come on, man, don't be so judgmental, all right?
有免费酒水 还有熊猫
It's free booze and there'll be pandas and shit.
人们都喜欢熊猫
People love pandas and shit.
我不太想去
I don't know.
好吧 算了吧 弗雷德
All right, fine, Fred.
那就什么都别做 回家 什么都不做
Then just do nothing. All right? Go home, do nothing.
别想跟你最好的朋友
And don't kick it with your best friend
还有大人小孩双拍档一起玩
and Boyz II Men.
你说什么
Say what?
对了
Oh, yeah.
大人小孩双拍档会表演
Boyz II Men is bringing
他们经典的节奏布鲁斯 说唱
their timeless blend of R&B, hip-hop
和新杰克摇摆
and new jack swing to the party.