全民追女王

It's really nice to see you again.
好 当然 太好了
Oh. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Great.
这是露背装 我艳福不浅
Oh, you're backless. Wasn't expecting that.
-祝你玩得开心 -你也是
- Have fun at the party. - You too.
很高兴见到你
Great to see you.
你真行 你真棒
I see you. I see you. Yeah.
然后我说 你想
So I said, "You want..."
你这是什么表情
Hey. Hey. What's that look in your eye?
你准备去干什么
What are you about to go do?
动物是今晚的主角 哥们
Tonight is about the animals, dude.
草他妈的动物 它们都死绝了
Fuck the animals! They're fucking gone, man.
现在才想起它们也太晚了
Too late for the fucking animals.
-弗雷德 -听着
- Oh, Fred? - Yeah, look.
-有什么问题 -我告诉你有什么问题
- What's the problem? - I'll tell you the problem.
-什么 -你就是问题
- What? - You're the problem, man!
你是这个草蛋国家一切罪恶的根源
You're everything that's wrong with this fucking country.
你这个又老又富得流油的白垃圾
'Cause you're an old, rich, white piece of shit
你的传媒集团正在毁掉这个星球
and your media conglomerate is ruining this planet!
-够了 -反正我也说完了
- Enough. - I'm done anyway.
跟你浪费的时间够多了
I had more time with you than I thought I would,
看你蠢成那样 让一下 谢谢
so joke's on you. Excuse me, thank you.
靠
Whoa, shit!
天啊
God!
白鬼摔下来了
Cracker down!
我的天
Oh, my God.
看起来好疼
Looks like it hurt.
大人小孩双拍档 往后让让
Boyz II Men, back up.
你没事吧 你还好吗
You all right? You good?
-你还好吗 -我没事
- You all right? - I'm okay!
他没事
He's okay!
他居然还能站起来
How is he standing?
疼死了
Oh! Ouch!
这就是饶舌奇兵 太有创意了
Oh, no. That's the Ruff Ryder... This is so creative.
-你在说什么 -谢谢你 汤姆
- What was that? - Thank you, Tom.
天啊 这也太疯狂了
God, that was crazy.
我们知道他平安无事
I mean, now that we know he's okay,
整件事就只是个笑料了
it was all so hilarious.
所以你们到底是什么关系呢
And so what is the relationship exactly?
-他是你的备胎吗 -不是
- Was he your super? - No,
我们是邻居 从小一起长大
we grew up next door to each other.
就是这样
Yeah.
草 我还给他当过保姆
Fuck, I used to babysit for him.
-你给他当过保姆 -对
- You babysat for him? - I did.
岁月可真是不饶人
Time has not been kind.
他以前是个奇怪的小孩
He was such a strange little kid.
他很有趣 也很聪明
But he was really funny. And he was super smart.
但是一直都是个暴脾气
He did have this chip on his shoulder, though.
他写的文章其实还不错
He's actually not a bad writer.
等等 你读过他的文章
Wait, you've read his stuff?
对 在《布鲁克林倡导报》上
Yeah, Brooklyn Advocate.
天啊 你当然读过了 汤姆
Oh, God, of course, you read that, Tom.
那家报社不是破产了吗
Didn't that paper just get sold off?
福克斯传媒刚刚买♥♥下了他们
Wembley Media just bought them.
这样就说得通了
Oh, that makes total sense.
所以他才对福克斯那样做
That's why he was such a dick to Wembley.
我们接下来的行程安排的很满
So the rest of the schedule for the day is pretty packed.
-嗨 -嘿
- Hi. - Hey.
那些范本里你有喜欢的吗
Did you like any of those writing samples?
麦肯齐写得挺好 贝斯写得也不错
Yeah, McKenzie is good. Bess is solid.
弗雷德写得也很好呢
And, um, Fred's stuff isn't too bad.
等等 你说的该不会是
Wait, not the...
那个摔下楼梯的流浪汉吧
The homeless person that fell down the stairs?
对 他敢于说实话
Yeah. He has a real voice.
而且他了解我 以前他了解我
And he knows me. I mean, he knew me.
如果让他为我写段子的话
And that's probably a good thing
这应该是个优势
if he's going to be writing for me.
让一个那样的人加入我们的团队
Bringing someone like that onto the team,
不得不说 感觉稍微有点草率
I have to say, feels a little reckless.
他的文章真的出类拔萃 而且很有趣
His writing is really good. And it's funny.
我认为这对我提高大选分数是有帮助的
I think he can get that number up by a few points.
如果他做不到 那我们就开除他
And if he doesn't, we fire him.
-好 -好
- Okay. - Okay.
那就定了是弗雷德·弗拉斯基
Fred Flarsky it is.
谢谢
Thanks.
知道了 再见
All right, bye.
未知号♥码
Unknown!
管他妈 接吧
I don't give a fuck. Answer that shit.
-什么 -接吧
- What? - Answer it!
万一是有人想要获取我的定位来抓我呢
What if it's The Man trying to get at me?
我觉得是外星人想和你聊聊
No, it's the universe trying to talk to you.
真的吗
Really?
-可能黑帮吧 -黑帮
- Gang. - Gang.
快接吧 弗雷德 别跟我废话了
Do that shit, man. Fred, don't fuck with me.
好吧 你好啊 黑帮
All right. Hello. Gang.
-是弗拉斯基先生吗 -你说什么
- Mr. Flarsky? - What?
等等 慢点说 你说什么
Wait, slow down. What?
未知号♥码 你再说一遍
You're unknown. Pardon?
我的天 弗拉斯基先生
Oh, my God. Mr. Flarsky.
-能听到吗 -你继续说
- Hello? - Go on.
我是国务卿菲尔德办公室的玛吉·米利金
This is Maggie Millikin from Secretary Field's office.
你好 国务卿菲尔德办公室的玛吉
Hello, Maggie, who works for Secretary Field.
你在听吗
Hello?
这太棒了 你快回答她
That's good! Talk to her.
-能听到吗 -我能为你做些什么
- Hello? - How can I help you?
国务卿现在想见你
The secretary would like to meet with you immediately.
我们会派一辆车去接你
We will send a car over.
你可以给我一个方便的地址吗
Can you give me the most convenient address?
-她说什么 -国务卿
- What is she saying? - Secretary would like
现在想见我
to meet with me immediately
他们要派车来接我
and they're going to send a car?
我在布鲁克林的卢先生熟食店
Mr. Lou's Deli in Brooklyn.
-你肯定能查到的 -我可以谷歌♥一下
- I'm sure you can find it. - I will google it.
布鲁克林的卢先生熟食店 待在那别动
Mr. Lou's in Brooklyn. Stay right there.
好的
Okay.
一会儿见
Uh, I'll see you soon.
跟这种人说话也太恐怖了
Oh, I feel so scared.
我看起来还好吗
Do I look okay?
我看起来奇怪吗
Do I look funny?
-为什么这里有这么多口袋 -没事的
- Why are these pockets here? - It's okay.
我去草他妈的
God fucking damn it!
我他妈为什么要穿这条裤子
Why am I wearing these fucking stupid pants?
这也太紧了
They're too tapered!
谁他妈会穿这种傻♥逼♥兮兮的收脚裤
Who wears these silly-looking, fucking tapered cargo pants
去见他妈的国务卿啊
and see the fucking secretary of state?
别想这些了 往好的方面想想
You can't think like this. You have to be positive.
-是弗拉斯基先生吗 -靠
- Mr. Flarsky? - Oh, shit.
弗拉斯基先生
Mr. Flarsky.
祝我好运 兄弟
Wish me luck, man.
你不需要什么好运 她都说了没关系
Yeah, you don't need luck, man. She said it was okay.
衰逼才需要好运
Luck is for losers.
命运是站在你这边的
You've got destiny on your side.
你超棒的 弗雷德
You're good. Fred.
你买♥♥了尸体
You buy the body.
你在说什么玩意
That doesn't mean anything.
弗雷德 系好安全带
Fred, put your seat belt on.
照顾好我朋友好吗
Take care of my friend. All right?
-我看着正常吗 -你很酷
- I look normal? - You look cool.
我爱你 弗雷德
I love you, Fred!
一声兄弟大过天
Nut boys for life!
把口袋里的东西都掏出来 背包摘下来
Empty your pockets and take off your backpack.
口袋里的东西都掏出来