全民追女王

And then,
她男朋友在隔壁房♥间
her boyfriend comes into the room,
刚看完电视剧《Blossom》走进来
who was in the other room watching Blossom!
宝贝
Hey, babe.
他妈的指着我的小♥弟♥弟♥
Points out my fucking little boner.
-嘲笑我 -看呐
- He makes a joke! - Whoa!
然后他们就走了
And they left.
对不起
I'm sorry.
留下我和那13岁的勃起小♥弟♥弟♥
And I'm left standing there alone... in the kitchen,
孤独地待在厨房♥里
with my little, hard 13-year-old fucking boner.
硬得像石头一样
Hard as a rock.
另外他妈的那个竞选她输了
And on top of that, she didn't win the fucking election.
比尔·斯特林赢了
Bill Sterling won
他以两个舞会赢了
because he ran on a two-prom platform.
-两个舞会 -两个连续的舞会
- Two-prom! - Two-proms! Back-to-back!
她根本没有赢的机会
She didn't stand a fucking chance.
是没有
No, man.
我觉得你忽略了故事的主要情节
I think you're skimming over the best part of that story.
什么主要情节
What's the best part of that story?
她说你的小♥弟♥弟♥可以
She says your boner was okay.
她之所以说可以
She said, "It's okay," like she was trying
只是想让我觉得心里好受些
to not make me fucking feel bad.
弗雷德 你觉得这是个糟糕的故事
Fred, you see a fucked-up story,
而我觉得这是个 你喜欢的美丽姑娘
when I see a beautiful story about a girl that you liked,
也喜欢你的小♥弟♥弟♥的纯爱故事
liking your boner in all of its okay-ness.
你今晚就去跟她聊聊
You need to talk to her tonight.
她可能都不记得我了
She probably doesn't remember who I am.
就算她记得我
If she does remember who I am,
她最不想要的就是
the last thing she wants is
我挺着13岁的小♥弟♥弟♥那种冲动向她走去
my 13-year-old-boner having fucking ass walking up to her.
-听着 -打扰下
- Look... - Excuse me.
国务卿菲尔德女士想和你谈谈
Secretary Field would like to speak with you.
和我
With me?
是和他吗
With him, right?
-对 -现在
- Yeah. - Right now?
知道为什么吗
Uh, do you know why?
跟我来
This way.
太好了
This is good.
你紧张什么
What are you nervous about?
搞什么 我刚才不是都告诉你了吗
What the fuck? Everything I just said!
♪ 我将珍藏这段回忆 ♪
♪ 让它成为我心头阴郁后的阳光 ♪
我的天 她就在那
Oh, my God, dude, there she is.
你要跟她说什么
What are you gonna say to her?
不知道
I don't know.
一上来就否定她
Should open with a neg.
就说她太高了
Tell her she's too tall.
我才不会否定国务卿呢
I'm not gonna neg the secretary of state.
很高兴见到你
It was so nice to see you.
我也是
You as well.
需要我的时候给我个信♥号♥♥
Give me the signal when you need me.
-你好 -你好
- Hi. - Hi.
我被人带过来的
A man brought me here.
抱歉
Yes, sorry about that.
没事 我不介意
Um... No, not at all.
我对你有种似曾相识的感觉
I can't shake this feeling that we know each other.
-我们认识 -我们认识
- We do. - We do?
对
Yeah.
我们的确认识
We do know each other.
所以不是我错觉
Okay, so I'm not crazy.
-我是弗雷德 -弗雷德
- Uh, I'm Fred. - Fred...
那时我更矮点
I was shorter,
-但除此之外 -弗拉斯基
- but other than that... - Flarsky?
对 我♥草♥
Yeah! Holy fuck!
难以置信 你竟然记得
I can't believe it. You remember.
我的天 看看你
Oh, my God, look at you!
看看我
Look at me, yes.
你怎么在这
What are you doing here?
我朋友兰斯 那是兰斯
My friend, Lance... That's Lance.
你好吗
Hey, how you doing?
他带我来看大人小孩双拍档
He, uh, he just brought me here to see Boyz II Men.
我刚刚见了他们
I just met them.
-你见到他们了 -对
- You met the Men? - Yeah.
-感觉如何 -别告诉别人
- What was it like? - Don't tell anybody,
我觉得这是我人生中最精彩的部分
but it was the highlight of my life.
我完全理解
Oh, I totally get that.
我还见了达♥赖♥喇♥嘛♥
And I've met the Dalai Lama.
草他
Fuck him.
他有几首热歌♥啊 一首也没有
How many hits does he have? None.
-不要真的草他 他是个好人 -对
- Don't actually fuck him. He's a wonderful man. - Yeah.
最近在忙什么 肯定是很赞的事情
What are you doing these days? I bet it's something amazing.
-确实很赞 -恩
- It's pretty amazing. - Yeah.
但是处于酝酿期吧
Uh, yeah, but it's still in its, uh, gestation period, I guess.
还没开始做呢
I don't need to get into it.
你呢 你平时忙什么
What about you, what have you been up to?
你是国务卿 我说笑的
You're the secretary... I'm joking.
我知道你在忙什么 对 你非常
I know what you've been up to. Yeah. You're very, um...
我只是 我只是想说
You know, I just, I... I just wanna say it's, like,
很高兴看到你取得今天的成绩
amazing to see what you've done with your life.
很多人嘴上说要干一番大事
A lot of people say they're gonna do
但从没付诸行动
all this incredible stuff and they don't do anything,
但你却做到了 祝贺你
but you actually did it all, so, congrats.
我还在努力
Well, I'm trying.
你已经做到了
I think you've done it.
帕克·福克斯
Parker Wembley.
我烦死这个人了
I hate this guy.
帕克·福克斯 卖♥♥报纸的
Parker Wembley, the guy who buys and sells newspapers
还认为飓风是同性结婚造成的
and thinks that hurricanes are caused by gay marriage?
你认识他
You know him?
他过来了
He's coming over here.
-在我后面吗 -对
- Is he behind me? - Yeah.
终于见到你了 国务卿菲尔德
Finally. Secretary Field.
帕克 你好吗
Parker, how are you?
你今晚真是美得不可方物
You are looking particularly gorgeous tonight.
谢谢
Thank you.
这几个月来我一直在努力联♥系♥你
I... I've been trying to set a meeting with you
想安排个见面
for some months now, and, uh...
你是在躲我吗
I mean, have you been avoiding me?
没有 没有
No! No.
看来我还是没躲过
Not successfully.
这位是
Who's your friend?
-弗雷德 -你好 弗雷德
- Fred. - Hey, Fred!
-你好 -你好吗
- Yes, hi. - How are you?
你是做什么的
And, uh, what is it that you do?
我其实是一个记者
I'm a journalist, actually. Yeah.
-记者啊 -对
- Ooh, a journalist. - Yeah.
写过什么有名的文章吗
Will I have read anything that you've written?
最近可能没有 我现在待业
Probably not recently, 'cause I'm unemployed at the moment.
不好意思
Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.
不是你的错
Not your fault.
打扰下 国务卿菲尔德 能插句话吗
Excuse me, Secretary Field, we need a word.
-好的 -我们能安排上吧
- Oh, okay. - So we will have that meeting. Right?
-对 -很好 弗雷德
- Yes. - Okay, good. Fred.
-嗯 -祝你好运
- Yes? - Best of luck.
谢谢
Oh, whoa, thanks.
事情总会有转机的
Things will turn around for you.
你太好心了
So nice of you.
这是黎明前的黑暗
Darkest before the dawn and all that.
-我确实得去 -好
- I actually... I do have to... - Yeah.
你应该有很多事情要忙
You probably have a lot of things to do.
都比和我在一起重要
Better than this.
我很高兴再次见到你