全民追女王

我需要一大碗米
I need a big bowl of rice!
卧♥槽♥ 我为什么不备份呢
God damn it! Why didn't I back this thing up?
我全部的文章都在里面啊
All my shit's on here.
弗雷德 看
Fred. Look.
我从没见过这个
I've never seen anything like that.
不
No, I...
我在照片里看过 但我从来没
I've seen pictures of it, but I never...
事实上
...actually...
我也从来没见过
I never saw it.
你哭了吗
Are you crying right now?
很美啊
It's pretty.
是啊
Yeah.
弗雷德
Fred?
怎么了
Yeah?
如果你再像这次一样抽风的话
If you ever pull some shit like that again,
我会把你扔进关塔那摩监狱
I'll have you thrown in Gitmo.
遵命 国务卿女士 很抱歉
Yes, Madam Secretary. I'm sorry.
你最好祈祷他妈的演讲能顺利吧
You better hope this fucking speech goes over well.
我经常被弱者所吸引
I've often gravitated toward the underdog.
一帮不合群的人在反抗欺凌
The band of misfits who fight back against the bullies.
高中那时候我经常谈论弱者
In high school, I would talk about the underdog a lot.
我经常会站在演讲台上
And I would often find myself on a soapbox,
夸夸而谈这世上的不公
rambling on and on about the injustices of the world.
我发现这让我十分受欢迎
Which makes you extremely popular,
尤其是当人人都在看
especially when everybody would rather be watching
电视剧《飞跃比佛利》的时候
Beverly Hills, 90210.
不过这也让我很乐意来宣布
But that is why I am happy to announce
一个能让十六岁的自己感到自豪的计划
an initiative that would make my 16-year-old self proud.
在"弱者演讲"中
In what is now being dubbed "The Underdog Speech,"
国务卿女士畅言了她的童年
the secretary of state opened up about her childhood
并宣布了一项大胆的新计划
and passion for the environment
以表达她对环境的关心
by announcing a bold new initiative...
原来她表面木兰花
...turns out she has always been an Andrea Zuckerman
实则花木兰
in the body of a Kelly Taylor.
-嗨 -嗨
- Hey. - Hey.
你把脖子上的胡子都剃掉了
you shaved your neck.
没错 我剃干净了
I did. I cleaned it up.
从脖子往下 整个背部都剃干净了
Got my whole back. Went all the way down.
看起来不错
Looks good.
我猜多少都能给人留下好印象
Trying to make a good impression, I guess, anyway...
我
I, uh...
我想再跟你说声对不起
I just wanted to apologize to you, again,
为我过分的行为道歉
for acting a little crazy, you know.
我要
I'm gonna...
我真的要努力收敛点
I'm going to really try to tone it down
免得你在全世界面前丢脸
and not, you know, make you risk global, uh, humiliation.
真好 很棒
Good. Great.
另外我谷歌♥了一下怎么撰写演讲稿
Also. I googled speech writing
真的让我大开眼界
and it was actually very informative.
我学到了
What I learned
如果想要帮你写好稿子
was that in order to write better for you,
我应该去更好地了解你 明白你的想法
I should kinda get to know you better and get in your head,
我对你所知的一切
and everything I already know about you,
已经在第一篇演讲稿用上了
I kinda used on the first speech.
所以我列了一堆问题
So, what I did was I wrote a ton of questions
也许能帮助我捕捉到你的想法
that will maybe help me capture your voice,
如果你给我一分钟的话
if you have a minute.
我其实可以给你七分钟
I actually have seven.
七分钟 太好了 我会好好把握的
Seven. Okay, great. Yeah. I'll take it.
-行 -天堂般的七分钟
- All right. - Seven minutes in heaven.
那么 你对什么感兴趣
Okay. I guess... Just like... What are you into?
你喜欢什么
What kind of shit you into?
就这些啊
Well, this is pretty much it.
就像国务卿那些事务啊
I mean, secretary of state stuff.
你有什么爱好吗 有吗 你看电视吗
Do you have any hobbies? Anything? Do you watch TV?
你看《权力的游戏》吗
Do you watch Game of Thrones or anything like that?
每一季的《权力的游戏》
Oh, I'm fully aware of what happened
我都了如指掌
in every season of Game of Thrones.
你全看过了吗
Because you watch it?
每一集的故事梗概我都读过
Because I read synopses on every episode.
这可没用啊
That can't actually work.
我想不到丹妮莉丝的龙
I couldn't believe when Khaleesi's dragon
竟然会变成了异鬼回归
came back as a White Walker.
厉害吧
See?
那电影呢 你看不看电影呢
What about movies? Do you watch movies?
我会看所有电影奖项候选人的介绍
Synopses of all the award contenders.
你以前可是很喜欢电影的
You used to love movies!
你逼我看了30次《沉睡野人》
You made me watch Encino Man 30 times.
嘬一点果汁
"Wheeze a little juice!"
你依旧是有史以来
You still do the worst Pauly Shore impression
模仿波利·肖尔最烂的
in the history of mankind.
不敢信你到现在还模仿黄鼠狼
I can't believe you're still doing "The Weasel"
而且还没看过漫威宇宙的电影
and you haven't seen any of the Marvel Universe.
这些电影都酷爆了 而你就像活在过去
Those movies are sick. You're like frozen in time.
我是沉睡野人
I am Encino Man.
好吧 你小时候最喜欢的书是什么
All right, what is your favorite book as a kid?
《绒毛小兔》 你呢
The Velveteen Rabbit. You?
《赌城风情画》
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
-怪不得呢 -是啊
- Oh, that explains a lot. - Yeah.
我为我们对你所做的一切感到十分抱歉
I'm so sorry for what we've done to you.
最棒的嗑药体验是哪次
Best drug experience?
我随时都可能
I could get summoned at any moment
被召唤去处理一些国际危机
to deal with an international crisis,
我可不能嗑药
I can't do that on acid.
那莫利呢
What about Molly?
莫利是谁
Who's Molly?
国务卿夏洛特·菲尔德
Secretary of State Charlotte Field
继续着她那令人印象深刻的20国之旅
continues on her impressive 20-country world tour
美国环保协议获得支持
为她雄心勃勃的环保计划取得更多支持
to garner more support for her ambitious environmental initiative.
而且还都是在私人飞机里
And all in a private jet, no less.
你知道怎样才能拯救环境吗
You know what would save the environment?
夏洛特·菲尔德别飞了 屁♥股♥着地就行
Charlotte Field grounding her ass.
我可是知道怎么打得她屁♥股♥着地
I know where I'd like to ground her ass.
我可不是那意思
Oh, I walked right into that one.
罗克塞特乐队的《这一定是爱》
It Must Have Been Love by Roxette.
-那可太火了 -是吧
- Oh! That's just fucking hot. - Right?
-我有一首新歌♥ -什么
- I got a new one. - What?
我得换一首我最喜欢的歌♥
I got to change my favorite song.
-你喜欢的可多了 -我换过几回了
- You have too many. - I've done it a few times.
DRAM的《西蓝花》
Broccoli by DRAM,
和Lil Yachty合作的
featuring Lil Yachty.
-你刚唠叨这么长都是歌♥名吗 -对
- All those words are the name of a song? - Yeah.
我真的不觉得我有最喜欢的歌♥
I don't really think I have one.
你得有一个 每个人都有的
You gotta have one. Everyone has one.
我不是那种容易会尴尬的人
Well, I don't embarrass that easily.
知道了 其实我也不会
Yeah, I hear that. I don't either, really.
-你会 -不 我不会
- Yes, you do. - No, I don't!
我的天 好吧
Oh, my God. Okay.
你最喜欢什么性♥交♥体♥位♥
What's your favorite sexual position?
那个 男上位
I mean, you know, front.
-就是正常体♥位♥ -我的天
- Normal. Front facing normal. - Oh, my God.
这是什么鬼问题
What kinda question is that?
就这样 瞧瞧你
That's all it took. Look at you.
那你最喜欢什么性♥交♥体♥位♥
Well, what's your favorite sexual position?
-弗雷德 别恶心了 -你瞧瞧你
- Don't be gross, Fred. - Yeah, see?
你最喜欢什么性♥交♥体♥位♥
What's your favorite sexual position?
太难解释了
It's too complicated to explain.
-真的吗 -我跟你说了我的了
- Really? - I told you mine.
天啊 好吧
Oh, God, okay.
有一次我刚从新德里回来