工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S05E12

Part 2 June 29, 2021, 8:57 a.m.

因为 - 因为我们弱智呗
Because— - Well, because we're... dumb.
而且我们还不负责任还傻♥逼♥还笨
And we're irresponsible and we're idiots and we're stupid.
是啊是啊说的完全正确 Adam 谢谢
Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right, Adam— thanks.
等一下对不起
Hang on a second. Uh... I'm sorry.
我觉得一个小孩还是难不倒我们的
I think we can handle one little dude.
是吧我是说嗯
Right? I mean, uh...
我当救生员那会
When I was a lifeguard, I...
呃那个例子可能不太合适
Well, unfortunately, that's probably not the best example.
我想跟他们走 - 耶
I wanna go with them. - Yes.
我喜欢他们 - 耶
I like them. - Yeah!
这样可以吗
Would it be okay?
行吧好吧这样挺好
Yeah, sure. That's fine.
完美 - Alice 拿着这条
Perfect! - Alice, take this one out.
他又小又文静
He's quiet and little.
我给他起名叫Waymond Wormano
I named him Waymond Wormano.
你不
You—no!
我喜欢孩子真的
I like kids. Yeah.
搞什么我的草莓沙冰
What the— my strawberry Surf Rider!
别吃地上的沙冰了
Do not drink the floor smoothie!
别起来起来起来
Don't— get up, get up, get up, get up.
你被下药了你也被下药了
You've been Bill Cosby'd. You've been Bill Cosby'd.
我给我自己下药了
I Bill Cosby'd myself.
而且不是那种约会迷♥奸♥用的药
But instead of, like, a date rape drug,
是那种我在咱们的沙冰里加了特别强的致幻剂
it's, like... I put peyote in the smoothies.
什么为什么啊
What? Why?
我想达到一种灵性层次啊
I was trying to get on like a spiritual level,
就像咱们在屋顶的那次你懂的
like... like when we were on the roof, you know,
聊那些酷酷的事儿
like talking about cool...
那些关于想象力什么的
like cool stuff about imagination and stuff.
致幻剂上班时间抽
Petote... at work?
是啊 - 呃
Yeah! - Yeah, well...
就像Joseph Rogan说过的
as Joseph Rogan said,
他上格斗课之前抽致幻剂
he took peyote before an MMA class
然后他说 "简直爽爆了"
and he said "It was the bomb diggidy."
别瞎编Joe Rogan名言这样不好
Do not make up Joe Rogan quotes— that is not okay!
我说的大概意思行么 - 不不
I'm paraphrasing, okay? - No. No.
你为啥要给我们弄Joe Rogan级别的啊
Why did you Joe Rogan us?
为什么不就弄点Seth Rogan级别的
Why couldn't you just Seth Rogen us?
是啊我们可以就 - 是啊
Yeah! We could have just... - Yeah.
抽好多好多大♥麻♥ - 哈哈哈哈
smoked a bunch of weed... - Hah hah hah hah!
还得看孩子
Babysit the kid...
我们经常给自己弄Seth Rogan级别的啊
We Seth Rogen ourselves all the time.
这回不一样我想给咱们弄点Joe Rogan级别的
This is different— I was trying to Joe Rogan us.
孩子呢
Where's the kid?
孩子孩子 - 孩子哪去了
Kid? Kid! - Where's the kid?
谁记住他叫啥了
Who remembers his name?
嗯是叫Jash 就像那个YouTube频道
Uh— it's Jash like the YouTube channel.
孩子等一下嗯
Kid... Wait, um...
哥们
You guys,
我开始感觉怪怪的了
I'm starting to feel weird.
他在那
There he is!
这是怎么了
What's... happening?
药起效了
It's kicking in.
来了致幻剂
Here it comes! Peyote!
什么
What?
噢上帝啊
Oh— God!
噢 - 咱们得走
Oh... - Just— we gotta go,
咱们得走咱们得走走
we gotta go, we gotta go! Go...
发生了什么
What's happening?
噢 - 噢我的天
Oh! - Oh, my God!
噢我没事
Oh! I'm okay!
你俩怎么样了
Okay, are you all right?
噢噢是黑洞
Oh! Oh, it's a black hole!
噢 - 不
Oh. - No!
噢 - 不
Oh! - No!
噢天呐加油
Oh. Oh, God. Come on!
等下不不等下
Wait, no, no, wait
噢
Oh!
这下好点了
It's pretty normal now!
噢
Oh.
噢 - 他在那
Oh. - There he is.
嘿你不能这样乱跑知道吗
Hey! You can't just run off like that, okay?
你这样乱跑很危险的
You can get killed running down that hallway.
我很无聊咱们一起涂鸦吧
I'm just bored.I want us to all color together!
嘿快到午饭点了
Hey, it's almost lunchtime.
我们最好离开这去个安静的地儿
We gotta get out of here now, man, go somewhere quiet
没人叨扰的地儿
where we can be alone.
我知道一个地方
I know just the place
没人会去的
where no one goes.
公♥司♥的健身房♥ - 好主意
the office gym. - Good call.
我们把他放上椭圆机
We'll put this little dude on the elliptical,
让他自己玩我们在一旁
tucker him out, and then we'll just wait
等着药劲过去
for the peyote to wear off.
好的 - 谁去复印几本我的涂鸦本
Okay. - Someone make a copy of my coloring book
我们好一起上色
so we can all color together.
好的我们会去弄的不过首先 - 嘿
Okay, we'll do that. But first we gonna... - Hey!
听我说
Listen to me!
我说了我想涂鸦
I said I want us
现在就涂
to color together. now!
好你说怎样就怎样伙计 - 你想涂鸦
Yeah, whatever you want, man. - If you want to color,
我们就涂鸦 - Adam 你去复印
we'll color. - Adam, go make some copies
几本涂鸦本然后Blake
of the coloring book, and Blake,
去找点马克笔来上色
go find some markers and pens, right?
既然我是最高的
And since I'm the tallest,
我负责把巨人带去健身房♥
I guess l'll take the gaint to the gym.
好的好的
Okay. Okay.
我们到了你呢
We're here and, uh, why don't you just.
你去一边自己玩会
play in that corner or something
等着他俩回来好不
until Blake and Adam get back, okay?
可我想玩游戏
But I wanna play a game.
我想玩捉迷藏
I wanna play hide and go seek!
呃太糟了游戏是给孩子玩的
Uh, that's too bad, because games are for children,
我已经是大人了
and I'm a grownup.
我们玩动物看守者吧
Let's play zookeeper.
我是看守者你是只鸟
I'm the zookeeper, and you're a bird.
我不是只鸟我是个人懂吗
I'm not a bird. I'm a man, okay?
不要再变身巨人了拜托
And just don't turn into a giant again, please.
可那你为什么有翅膀呢鸟
Then why do you have wings, ya bird?
我没有
I don't have
噢我的天
Oh, my God.
怎么搞的
What the hell?
啊
Aah!
哈哈哈
Ha ha ha ha ha!
我是只鸟
I'm a bird?
我是只鸟我
I'm a bird? I'm a.
飞吧鸟先生飞吧
Fly, Mr. Bird, fly!
噢我的天
Oh, my God!
我在飞看我啊看守者
I'm flying! Look at me, Mr. Zookeeper!
打扰一下
Excuse me.
嘿谁家的外婆走丢了
Hey, somebody missing their grandma?
嘿女士那是我的桌子
Hey, lady, that's my desk.
和你闹着玩呢
I'm messing with you!
开玩笑的二缺
It's a joke, you bitch!
哇哦
Whoa.
你是老去的我
you're old me.
是啊你好
Yes! Hello!
真赞啊伙计
Sick, dude!
那头发太赞了
I'mean,the hair looks. sick.
噢天呐谢谢夸奖
Oh, my God, thank you.
像蜘蛛网一样棒极了
It's like cobwebs. It's awesome.