工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S05E01
Part 2
June 29, 2021, 8:55 a.m.
我勒个去
Freakin' crikey.
说的挺好的 - 一般般啦
That was really good. - All right, okay.
这学校挺大啊 - 是啊
This is a big campus, huh? - Yeah.
感觉有点怪怪的
Getting, like, weird vibes though,
这里有种似曾相识的感觉
it's like full-body deja vu.
<宿舍迷乱>
Dorm Daze.
我最喜欢的36部校园黄♥片♥中的24部就是在
This is the college campus where they shot 24 of my 36 favorite
这个学校拍的 就是这儿
college pornos. This is it!
哇 - 就是这个感觉
Whoa. - That's the vibe.
难怪我会觉得似曾相识
That's where I was getting that vibe.
噢 好吧好吧 很酷呢
Oh. Okay, okay, that's awesome, man.
现在 咱们开始玩吧 伙计
Now, hey, go long, mate.
我把回旋镖扔给你
I want to toss you the boomer, huh?
我要找到他们拍
I've got to find the dorm room where
群♥交♥的那个房♥间 去表示我的敬意
they shot the gang bang sequences, pay my respects.
来嘛 伙计 来玩啊
Come on, dude. Go long.
我总不能对着自己扔回旋镖啊
I-I can't throw the boomerang to myself.
我确定他们就是这么弄的 Blake
Pretty sure that's how they work, Blake.
啊 我知道回旋镖怎么玩 Adam
Yeah, I know how boomerangs work, Adam.
我只是在扔的时候
I just want somebody to watch me
有人能看着我 - 抱歉 Blake
while I throw the boomerang. - Sorry, Blake.
我得去找黄♥片♥场景了 嗷
I've got to find porno! Whoo!
*电美啊电美*
*Telamericorp, Telamericorp*
*来和我一起电♥话♥吧*
*Come make phone calls with me*
快来参加电美军团
Come on and join the Telamerican army,
电♥话♥线就是我们的前线
where the front line is the landline.
就是电♥话♥ 每天就只要打电♥话♥呢
It's phones. You just make phone calls all day.
嘿 兵哥 - 啊
Hey, army man. - Yeah?
你接受请求么
Do you take requests?
我请求你放下话筒 把它塞进你的屁♥眼♥里
'Cause I request you take that mic and shove it up your ass.
额 你们是谁啊 噢 是美国海岸巡逻队啊
Well, who are you guys? Oh, U.S. Coast guard!
酷 我知道的
Cool, I get it.
你们就是那些躲在真正保卫国家的人
'Cause you guys coast on the backs of the people
身后的家伙吧
who really guard our country.
哦 天哪 你们是不是有人放屁了
Oh, my God, did one of you guys just fart?
因为我闻到咸鸡鸡的气味了
'Cause it smells like salty dick.
嗷 我在下风处呢
Whoo. I'm downwind.
你们知道我对海军的印象吗
Uh, you guys want to see my impression of the Navy?
然后这是我对美国海岸巡逻队的印象
And here's my impression of the U.S. Coast guard.
啊
Ah!
兄弟 别轻举妄动
Brock! Brock, back.
同学们在这里注册
Okay. Yeah, sign up, man.
只需要填你的姓名 邮箱 电♥话♥号♥码
Just need your name, email, phone number,
还有粪便样本 逗你们的啦
and a stool sample. Just kidding,
我又不是海岸警卫队员
I'm not the coast guard.
"生存还是毁灭 这是一个问题
"To be or not to be, that is the question.
今 日
试 镜 剧院教室
哪一种行为更高贵"
Whether this nobler..."
吾耳听见此处有人在表演戏剧
Doth my eyes hear a fellow thespian?
"或者暂且停歇" - 谢谢你
Or to take pause - Thank you.
还有其他人要朗读哈姆雷特吗
Do we have anyone else reading for Hamlet?
还有一个
One more!
上吧 - 多谢
Get on with it. - Thanks.
先声明一下
Okay, before I start,
这个澳洲回飞镖 像刀刃一样锋利
this boomerang has, like, knife edges.
退后 放轻松
Back off, easy.
呀 呀 呀
Yah! Yah! Yah!
退后 告诉你们 我不是这里的人
Back up! All right, I'm not from here.
我他妈的是从罪犯流放地跑出来的
I'm from a goddamn prison colony!
除非你们想落个跟他一样的下场 不然
So unless you want a little bit of what he just got--
不好意思 你演的是哪一出啊
I'm sorry, what scene are you doing?
这是<鳄鱼邓迪4:新生活>的节选
This is from "Crocodile Dundee Four" The New Class
我自己写的剧本
it's an original script.
你到底是不是这里的学生
And are you even a student here?
严格来说不算是 不是的
Not technically, sir, no.
但是为了当明星我什么都愿意做
But I will do anything to be a star.
你演的真是太糟糕了
You are a very bad actor.
我们的电影绝对不可能用你
And we would never use you in a production.
嗨
Hey.
嗨 你刚才在台上真是太勇敢了
Hey, what you did up there was so brave.
那导演根本不知道他自己在说什么
The director had no idea what he was talking about.
我觉得我只是做了邓迪本来就会做滴事
Well, I mean, I just did what Dundee would've done-dood.
是这样的 我和我的朋友今天正在拍一个
Well, you know, my friends and I are making
非常酷的微电影
this really cool short film today,
我们想找一个像你一样天生的演员
we could use a real actor like you.
真的吗 - 没错
Really? - Yeah.
你们剧组用一个澳洲演员没有问题吧
Do you think you could use an Aussie in the cast?
我可以一人分饰十三角 - 好 快走吧
I do 13 unique characters. - Okay, come on.
好的
All right.
18 还不是
18? No.
我终于到家了
I'm finally home.
好像有点不对
Something isn't right.
这像是那个房♥间
This is the room...
又不像是那个房♥间
But it's not the room.
难道他们把墙移♥动♥了
Did they move the walls?
不 从物理上来说就不可能
Nope. That'd be physically impossible.
噢不
Uh, no.
这不合理啊
Doesn't make sense.
精♥液♥要是射到那边的话
In order for semen spray to land here
Buster应该是站在这儿射的
Buster would have to shoot from here.
但是Eric在那边
But Eric was over there.
他根本都没有高♥潮♥
And he didn't even bust.
难道还有另一个精♥液♥喷射器吗
Was there a second semen sprayer?
不对 没有
No. Nope.
重新整理一下思绪 Adam
Start from the beginning, Adam.
你♥他♥妈♥是谁啊
Who the fuck are you?
这是那个拍黄♥片♥的地方吗
Is this where the porno was?
我根本不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about, man.
赶快 赶快滚出去
Just--just get out of here.
你知道吗
You know what?
我相信你
I believe you.
从你的眼睛里根本看不到一点色♥欲♥
I don't see porno in your eyes.
不好意思 我得再去别处看看
Sorry, I'm going to have to look around first.
女性性行为
Female sex.
那可是黄♥片♥的关键词啊
That's code word for porn.
嘿 谁想成为电美公♥司♥第一百个联♥系♥人呢
Hey, who wants to be the 100th contact
举手之劳而已 来报名吧
given to Telamericorp? Hook a brother up.
海岸警卫队员呐 你们有什么事儿吗
The coast guard, what's going on?
等下 要是你们在这里的话
Wait a second, if you guys are here,
谁留在船上无所事事啊
who's doing nothing on the boat?
因为我压根就不知道你们每天干些什么
Cause you guys, I don't know what you do, what do you guys
你们真的有船吗
even do, do you have boats?
我们知道你在说什么 你真是个合格的
Yeah, we get it. Yeah, no, you're a regular
Gabriel Iglesias啊 - 我不会那么说
Gabriel Iglesias. - I wouldn't say that.
"毛茸茸"可远不止是合格 他超有才华的
Fluffy's very talented.
你真的不应该那样
You really shouldn't make jokes about
开军队的玩笑 - 好吧
the military like that. - Okay.
你们能把我怎么样 给我发个"红色警告"吗
What are you guys gonna do, give me a "code red"?
这主意还不赖啊
Actually not a bad idea.
拜托啊兄弟们 求你们了 别这样
Come on, guys, please. Don't do this.
不不不
Oh, no, man.
大热天的红色警告的滋味真是无与伦比啊
Nothing like the taste of code red on a hot day,
对不对
am I right?
我的体毛现在都颤栗了
My butt hairs are all fizzy now.
我看摇尾巴长官貌似有点饥渴了
I think Officer Pettytailwags is looking a little thirsty.
什么 谁是摇尾巴长官啊
What? Who's Officer Pettytailwags?
不行啊别那样 那样不好 那样不好啊
That's not good. That's not good. That's not good.
感觉竟然还不错
That's not bad.
好吧
Okay.
我们一般会趁着休假抓紧时间约炮
Normally we spend our shore leave fucking .
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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