工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S05E09
Part 1
June 29, 2021, 8:56 a.m.
你知道这东西为啥叫靶心(牛眼)吗
You know, the reason it's called bull's-eye
因为在早期的西班牙
is because in early Spain,
他们会朝着牛的眼睛扔飞镖
they'd throw darts in the bulls' eyes,
这样能逼着牛跑
and that would make them run,
于是就有了奔牛节 - 哇
then Running of the Bulls so-- - Wow.
说得通呢 - 牛逼吧
That makes sense. - Crazy, huh?
Blake 你应该是最会瞎扯淡的人了
Blake, you might be the best
我是认真的
at making facts up, and I mean that.
是真的 我在历史频道上看见的
It's true--I saw it on the History Channel.
该你了 - 我不行
You're up. - I can't.
昨晚上和我的情趣棒玩的时候
I threw out my back last night
背抽筋了
fugging my Fleshlight.
怎么会呢 - 确实容易这样
That shouldn't happen. - Oh, that'll happen.
最烦的是我连"背部针灸"都付不起
What sucks is I can't even afford the back-upuncture to fix it.
跟奥巴马医保似的 - 可不是吗
It's like ObamaCare, right? - Tell me about it.
除非
Unless...
来吧 朝这扔
All right. Hum it in.
就朝这扔 Der里个Der
Hum it in right here. Der me dere, my brother.
我不确定这主意
I don't know if this is--
我要是弄断你的脊椎什么的咋办
I could sever your spine or something, right?
不会的 脊椎附近肉太多
No, there's too much meat around it.
那多好 他就能有个X教授那种轮椅了
Oh, yeah, and then he could have a cool Professor X wheelchair.
你们冷静一点 背部针灸
You guys, chill out. Back-upuncture--
不就是针头么
It's just needles, correct?
飞镖不就是 带着翅膀的针头么
And what are darts... but wing-ed needles?
所以你们把飞镖蘸点啤酒和消毒剂
Okay? So just dip it in some beer and disinfectant
朝这扔就行了
and then hum it in there!
好吧
Yep. Uh...
数三下
On three.
一 二
One... two...
三 - 我又想了想
three-- - You know, on second thought--
啊 他妈搞什么鬼啊
Oh! Aaah! What the hell?
是不是你扔的飞镖
Did you just throw that dart?
哪有 才不是呢
Nuh! He-hell, no!
我脸上 挂了个飞镖
I got a dart... hanging outta my face!
是的 但是你可以这么想
Yes, you do. But look at it this way--
我们替你省了朝克莱尔商场跑一趟啊
We just saved you a trip to Claire's--
我说得对吧
am I right?
因为 - 不喜欢这理由么
'Cause... - No?
够了 你死定了
That's it. You're dead!
喂 - 喂喂喂喂
Whoa-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
你们还是走吧 - 快让他们滚出去
You guys gotta go. - Get 'em outta here!
放轻松 放轻松 Keith 他们是跟我一起的
Hey, hey, easy, easy, Keith. They're with me.
不好意思啦Hillary
Sorry about that, Hillary.
你需要啥就跟我说
Just let me know if you need anything.
不如再给我们来一轮柠檬鸡尾酒
Uh, well, how about a round of lemon drops for us?
再把飞镖脸先生喝的东西都算我账上
And put all of Dart Face's drinks on my tab.
不如再来点鸡柳呗
How 'bout some chicken fingers?
行 你要啥都行
Yeah. Well, whatever you want.
好
Okay.
谢谢你把我们从那人手里救下来
Thank you for saving us with that guy.
是啊 - 其实吧
Yeah. - Actually,
你是把他从我们手里救下来了
you kinda saved him from us,
不然我都要使出跆拳道打扁他
'cause I would have Taekwondo kicked him
正中肚心
right in the freakin' tummy,
说不定还会吓得他拉裤子
probably made him dump out in his pants.
没错 吓得他大小便失禁
Yep. Just poop all over himself.
就像"香港阿屎"
Yeah, like Hong Kong Pooey.
文字游戏不错哦
Very funny word play.
太搞笑了 - 得分 得分
Oh, that's very funny! - Points, points.
多谢 - 太牛了
Thanks. - That's awesome,
因为一般来说吧 女人都不搞笑
because normally, women aren't funny,
这可是宇宙定律 - 给你的 Winthrop小姐
and that's a rule. - Here you go, Miss Winthrop.
谢谢 - 好极了
Thanks. - All right.
鸡柳和蘸酱还在准备中
And working on those tenders and those dipping sauces.
谢啦 - 大家干杯
Thanks, man. - Cheers, guys.
干杯 谢谢啊
Cheers. Thank you.
我先喝完的 - 不好意思
I finished first. - I'm sorry.
他刚刚是说Winthrop小姐吗 和那谁一个姓
Did he say Miss Winthrop, as in...
Ted Winthrop
Ted Winthrop?
是啊 那是我爸
Yeah, yeah, that's my dad.
我叫Hillary
I'm Hillary.
这是我朋友Jackie - 你好 呃
This is my friend Jackie. - Hi. Yeah, no--
你♥爸♥可是牧场市的老大啊
Your dad's the king of Rancho!
噢 - 不是吗
Oh... - Right? I mean...
垃圾车 加油站 "少花钱"鞋店
Garbage trucks, gas stations, Payless shoe stores.
嗯 - 可不是嘛
Yep. - Yeah, that's right!
那三巨头啊
The big three, huh?
要是他给奥巴马打电♥话♥
I'm sure Obama picks up his phone calls
奥巴马肯定飞速去接
pretty quick.
如果奥巴马真的还会接电♥话♥的话
If Obama would ever pick up the damn phone!
自己留着吧
Keep the change!
我没投票
I didn't vote.
谁还会投票啊 你们想不想
Who votes? Do you guys want to get
再喝几杯 然后我们可以再多玩会儿
some more drinks? Then we'll party a little bit.
好耶
Yes!
想 - 让我们再玩会儿
Yes! - Let's party.
哎哟我的天
Oh, my God!
我竟然朝一个真的女生做了这事
I did that to a real girl!
我们就差掀屋顶了 - 今晚太好玩了
We shut it down. - That was really fun, guys.
我也觉得
I'm with you!
退后 你闻着跟呕吐物似的
Oh, back-- you smell like puke.
真的吗 - 是啊
Do I? - Yeah.
这只是我胳肢窝的味道
It's just my armpit.
别别别 - 快停下
No, no, no, no, no! - Stop, dude.
这听起来可能有点傻 不过
This might be a little crazy, but...
我这周末要去参加我姐姐的婚礼
I'm going to my sister's wedding this weekend,
我在想吧
and I was wondering
你能做我的伴吗
if maybe you'd want to be my date.
我愿意
I do...
和你一起去
Want to go with you,
我亲爱的 夫人 或者 小姐 还是
my sweet m-m-mistress or lady or--
我亲爱的小姐
My sweet lady!
你们两位也可以来啊
Well, you guys--you guys are totally invited too.
太棒了 我也愿意
Oh, tight! Yes, I do.
太棒了 - 那
That's sick! - Well, uh...
我们到时见
we'll see you there.
再见
Bye.
Hillary 等一下
Hillary, wait.
嗯 - 我还不知道你的名字
Hmm? - I never caught your name.
呃 我觉得 你应该知道吧
Um, I think... you did,
因为你 刚叫了我的名字啊
'cause you-- well, you just said it.
哦 我知道的 我知道的
Yeah, I know, I know. Okay!
我记得的 行了
No, I remember! All right.
行 到时见 - 好吧 回见
Okay, I'll see you there. - All right, later.
回见了Sillary
Yeah, later, Sillary.
保重 - 这下酷炫了
Take care. - This is 'bout to be dope.
开玩笑吗
Yeah, dude, are you kidding me?
这可是有钱人的婚礼啊
A rich person's wedding-- like, come on, man.
说不定他们上的菜都是 老虎肉什么的
They probably serve, like, tiger meat or something cool.
呵呵呵呵
Ho ho ho ho!
吼吼吼吼
Hoo hoo hoo! Ooh!
我们是不会知道了 因为
Well, we'll never know, because...
我们不会去的
we ain't goin'.
Adam
Adam!
哟
Yo.
早上好啊 - 早
Hey, good morning. - Morning.
我知道你都听烦了
Now, I know you're sick of hearing it,
不过你得再听我说一遍
but if you'd just hear me out one more time
为啥你应该参加这个婚礼
about why you should go to this wedding...
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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