工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S05E05
Part 3
June 29, 2021, 8:55 a.m.
老兄 你的胸上全是糖霜
Dude, you got frosting all over your chest.
嗯
Mm.
怪好吃的
Yummy.
这不是糖霜
It's not frosting.
那是什么 - 这是精♥液♥
What is it? - That's jizz.
我胸上有精♥液♥
There's jizz on my chest!
精♥液♥ - 哇哦
Jizz! - Whoa!
这应该是湿的
It used to be frickin' wet,
但是现在成干的了
but now it's dry.
干了的精♥液♥ - 恶心死了
It's dry jizz. - Eww.
为毛我身上会有精♥液♥
Why's there jizz on me?
呃
Um...
我
I...
怎么了 - 你在干吗
What? - What are you doing?
哦 我的天哪
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
好吧 现在事情走向有点不对
Okay, this is bad.
是非常非常不对
This is really, really bad.
你们三个
You guys.
麻烦不要再喊了 这样会吵醒邻居的
Please stop yelling. You're gonna wake up the neighbors.
那猜猜看
Guess what?
我们现在醒了 然后要报♥警♥了
We're awake, and I'm gonna freakin' call the police,
因为我们被非法"入"侵了
'cause I was ejacked on illegally.
什么
What?
我们被性侵了 懂不懂
We've been sexually assaulted, okay?
也有可能被下药了
Perhaps roofied, all right?
快叫鉴毒专家
Call a toxologist right now.
先被下药 后被上
We were drugged and then fugged.
下药 被上
Drugged and fugged.
不是 你们没有
No, you weren't.
兄弟们
You guys.
你们彼此上了彼此啊
You the crap out of each other.
啥 - 啥
What? - What?
不会吧
No.
他们不记得了
They don't remember.
真的吗
Really?
我们听见从这里传出来源源不断的呻♥吟♥声
We heard all this grunting coming from in here,
所以我们下来看看
so we came down the hall,
然后
and...
然后什么
What?
你们三个"干"得热火朝天
You boys were rockin' each other's worlds.
你们一直在说非常渴望与彼此缩短一点距离
You kept saying how you wanted to get closer,
接着你们之间就零距离 互入彼此了
and then you were just inside each other.
什么
What?
那真是各个体♥位♥都演了个遍啊
It was a real three-ring bone circus.
是
Yeah.
不
No!
不
No!
生猛哦
Wild.
哇哦
Wow.
看上去你们几个昨晚玩得很开心啊
You guys look like you had a little too much fun last night.
我们没有 你才是
No we don't; you do.
你准备好把你的屁♥股♥交给别人了吗
You ready to get your butts handed to you?
没有 好不好
No, all right?
我们的屁♥股♥我们做主 别人哪镇得住
'Cause our butts are our own; nobody else handles them.
把嘴闭上
So just shut up.
好了 电美伙伴们
All right, TelAmericans!
耶
Yeah!
哇
Whoo!
我说电美 你们说伙伴
When I say "Tela," You say "Mericans."
电美
Tela!
伙伴
Mericans.
耶 哄
Yeah! Boom!
就是这么个意思
That's what I'm talking about.
我希望各位都带了工地安全帽
I hope you people all brought your hard hats,
因为我们今天 要建造 团队
because today, we are gonna be building some teams.
噢 - 哄
Oh. - Boom!
梗不错
That's funny.
我是Teddy
I'm Teddy.
我将是你们的工头
I will be your foreman.
呃
Ugh.
用这个词来结束
And that will be the end
这个建筑比喻
of the building metaphors.
好了 大家开拓土地 勇敢创新
All right, let's break some ground!
呃 - 好吧
Ugh. - Okay.
最后一个啦
That was the last one.
开始了
Here we go.
舞台飞跃
Stage dive.
哇哦
Whoa!
棕榈泉 加油
Palm springs! Get some!
加油 - 好了 Jillian
Get it! - Okay, Jillian.
狠击他们 - 冷静点
Get it hard! - Chill out.
我们完全没可能赢这个傻♥逼♥比赛
There is no way we're gonna win this stupid thing
因为咱们这一队有Gary
with Gary on our team.
我原来在香港可是当过间谍的
I was a spy in Hong Kong.
黄队 你们在哪里
Team Yellow, where are we?
接着
Here we go.
哄
Boom!
绿队 拿好了
The green team, here we go.
哦 在那儿呢
Yeah, there you are.
因为你们一直没选定什么颜色
And since you boys couldn't decide on one color,
我为你们特别定制了队服
I had these made up for you special.
你们是我的彩虹战士们
You're my rainbow warriors!
可不是嘛
Of course we are.
来吧 开始吧 - 好
Yeah, let's do this! - Okay.
一分钟之内
Whichever team gets the most eggs
篮子里鸡蛋数量最多的队
in their basket in a minute
可以获得最后一轮比赛
is gonna get a 20-second head start
也就是障碍越野赛里面
for the final event,
抢先二十秒出发
the obstacle race.
各就各位
All right, everybody.
预备 开始
On your marks.
Adam 快点传
Adam, go.
我在传啊
I'm going.
加把劲
Back up.
我这不准备好了么
I'm where I'm at.
一个团队好比是鸡蛋壳
Just like the shell of an egg,
它是脆弱的 需要小心地
a group is fragile and needs to be handled with--
妈的
damn it.
彩虹战士们
Rainbow warriors,
要勇于碰触对方 彩虹战士们
don't be afraid to touch, rainbow warriors.
这才是制胜法宝
That's it.
通过彼此的身体来保持平衡
Use each other's bodies to balance.
没错
Yes.
别看着我
All right, quit looking at me.
我在看鸡蛋呢
I'm looking at the egg.
我在仰望天空呢
I'm looking up into the sky.
看到没 真有那么难么
Okay? Was it that hard?
我刚不是在看你
I wasn't looking at you.
过来点
Come here.
别碰我
Don't touch me.
你这是干嘛啊
What are you doing, man?
你刚打什么寒颤 我又不是要打你
You just flinched. I'm not gonna hit you.
离我远点
Dog, back up off of me.
你进入我的私人空间了 我很没安全感
You're in my space, and I don't feel safe with that.
你没安全感 - 没错
You didn't feel safe? - No.
你没安全感 难道你觉得我有吗
You don't feel-- you think I feel safe...
你昨晚把车停进我的车♥库♥时 难道我有安全感吗
when you parked your car in my garage last night?
连招呼都不打一下
You didn't even ask.
我看你是巴不得我的运动型轿车停进你的车♥库♥吧
You probably wanted my sport wagon up in your garage, okay?
说不定还是你求我的
You probably begged for it.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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