工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S05E06
Part 2
June 29, 2021, 8:56 a.m.
大家都到会议室来 马上
All right, everyone in the conference room now.
Alice这是你的咖啡
Alice, I got your coffee.
嗯
Mm.
Jullian 这是冰的
Jillian, this is ice cold.
如同你的心
Like your heart.
她就是个抓狂婊
She is freaking Jeremy-Pived.
我在想 她上周肯定是看到
I wonder if, like, my cool points depleted
我把玉米煎饼的辣酱弄进眼睛里了
when I got all that hot sauce in my eyes last week
所以把我的酷分全给扣了
from the burrito, and she must have seen it.
你们这群人有什么毛病
Is there something wrong with you people?
因为这周的每一天里
Because every day this week,
总有人跑到我这儿来叨逼自己的破事
someone has come to me bitching and moaning about a new problem.
现在都给姐打住
Well, it ends now,
因为跟姐毛关系都没有
because I don't give a fuck about your problems.
说你呢 Tez
Hear that, Tez?
别再来我办公室絮叨"我的铅笔星用完了
No more coming to my office whinging, "Where my leads at?
谁恁给我送点铅笔星"
I don't got no lizz-eads."
我才不这么讲话
I don't sound like that.
还有你 Bill 这种问题以后就别来问我了
And Bill? Stop coming to me for advice.
比如"为什么没妹子约我"
"Why won't girls date me?"
有没有想过是因为你又穷又不会工作
Maybe 'cause you're broke 'cause you suck at your job.
嗷 真伤自尊
Ow. Burn notice received.
嘿 Bill
You know, Bill,
没准儿假发能帮你找点自信
a wig could really help with your confidence.
还有Gary 别直勾勾地盯着Jillian看了
And, Gary, stop staring at Jillian.
我都分不清他是不是想杀我
Can't tell if this guy wants or kill me.
噢 至于你们仨
Oh, and now you three
无缘无故想请一天假
want a day off for no reason at all.
您同意就太好啦
Actually, that--that'd be great.
同意你个屁
100% no.
其他人都走不了 你们三傻就更别想了
If everyone else is here, so are you three idiots.
噢对了
And, hey.
姐的训话就是午休了 知道吗
Consider this your lunch break.
什么 - 什么
What? - What?
Jillian过来
Jillian.
听君一席话 胜吃一顿饭
You just ate lunch.
靠 咱的工作就是个斯一奥话
Gah, this job is a jizz-oke.
好吧 我真的是这么讲话
Oh, yeah, I do sound like that.
我们怎么办 明天不放假可不行
What are we gonna do, man? We still need tomorrow off.
如果大家都不来上班 她就不会只找我们的茬了
If no one comes in the office, the heat'll be off us.
来个翘班日怎么样
What about a ditch day?
我天 好主意 - 不 等一下
That's perfect. Oh, my God. - No, wait. Hang on.
嘘 大家安静 - 坐下
Shh. Everyone shut up. - Sit down.
都坐下 别说话
Shut up and sit down.
坐下 安静
Shut up and sit down.
坐下 安静 - 你也安静
Sit down, shut up. - Okay, now you shut up.
好了 各位 我是这么想的
Okay, here's the deal, guys.
我们在高压之下工作得太憋屈了
I know tensions are running high working here.
人生真艰难是不是 - 我受够了 受够了
It's tough, right? - I hate it. I hate it.
与其明天再来忍♥受剥削和压♥迫♥
Instead of coming here tomorrow and working,
为什么不翘一天班来我们家玩
why don't you guys come to our place for a ditch day?
哦老天 点个赞 - 是吧
Oh, my God. That sounds fun. - Right?
就像高中时候翘课一样 - 不不不不不
Just like in high school. - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
我们才不想去你们那个脏乱差房♥子
We ain't going to your nasty-ass frat house,
沐浴皂上总粘着阴毛和屎痕
bath soap all covered in pubes and dookie streaks.
不 香皂上早就没屎啦
Nope, there's no dookie on the soap anymore.
再也没了 - 我们现在用沐浴液了
Not anymore. - We switched to body wash.
这就不是问题了 - 没错
So we solved that problem. - Yup.
那么明天 在我们家不见不散了
So I'll see you guys there?
而且明天保证大家吃好喝好
Also, there's gonna be alcohol, snacks, food.
大把的酒 大把大把的 - 对啊
Tons of booze. Tons of booze. - Yeah, so...
那就这么说定了 翘班日就来了
Okay, so ditch day is a s'go.
嘿 兄弟
You know what, dude?
我终于弄明白为什么我的酷分变低了
I think I figured it out-- why my cool points are dipping.
啥啊 - 我得换个潮一点的名字
What? - I need, like, a new hip name.
是哦 你原来名字是挺烂的 我一直想告诉你来着
Yeah, it's pretty bad. I been meaning to tell you about it.
Nails dechamp(干得漂亮) - 好了 请进
Nails dechamp. - Okay, right this way.
哇哦 - 好名字吧
Wow. - That's good, right?
键盘手 你就在这儿弹琴吧
The pianist, you can just get set up in there.
好吗
Okay?
你不介意的话 我希望我们的音乐可以高端
And if you don't mind, let's keep it classy,
奢华又不失野性之美
but also a little nasty,
就像万人迷Jamie Foxx那样
just like my main man, Jamie Foxx.
我还有个小手环要给你戴上
In fact, I got a little bracelet for you here.
WWJFP
WWJFP
意思是"要是换成Jamie Foxx会弹什么" 好吗
"What would Jamie Foxx play?" All right? Okay.
结束以后请还给我 谢谢
I'm gonna need that back though. Thank you.
亲爱的 你家盘子搁哪儿啦
Excuse me, honey, where do you keep your plates?
亲爱的 我可不是你的亲爱的 我是你老板 好吗
Honey? I'm not your honey. I'm your boss, okay?
厨房♥在那边 请你快过去吧
The kitchen is that way. Please get in there.
不准用温迪快餐的餐巾纸
Do not use the Wendy's napkins.
用星巴克的
Use the Starbucks napkins.
哟 哟 哥们 怎么样
Yo. Yo, hey, bro, what-- what's up, man?
这些人是志愿者吗 还是你雇的
So what--are these volunteers, or you--you hired people?
对 Blake 我必须得雇人
Yes, Blake. I had to hire people.
就雇了两个人 为了让咱们这儿逼格高一点
Two people, okay? I'm trying to class it up here.
这用花300而已 而Karl给了我们一千呢
It's only 300 bucks out of the 1,000 that Karl gave us.
你可以先跟我们说一声啊
I mean, you could have asked us.
花钱才能赚钱
You spend money to make money.
你懂我 - 是吧
Exactly... - Right?
而且我又花了七百
And I spent $700 more
买♥♥了小食 这块地毯
on finger foods, this rug--
谢谢你们还没踩 还租了基亚瓦里椅
thank you for not stepping on it--and the Chiavari chairs,
快看
which look--
这椅子太赞了 - 是啊真棒
they look so good. - These look great.
而且等我们送走了那毒品盒子
Plus we got another $1,000 coming
另外的一千块也就到手了
when we get rid of the drug box, right?
另外的一千哦亲 - 嗯 说得对
One more T, baby. - Right. Right.
所以钱花了就花了 好吧
So we're fine. All right.
我来开 - 噢 派对要开始啦
Oh, I got it. - Uh-oh, party time.
别踩地毯 - 精神点 精神点
Skip over the rug. - Look good. Look good.
我来 你好吗 - 嗨
Excuse me. What up. - Hey.
嘿 你好
Hey. Hey.
我是"干得漂亮" 您的翘班日派对向导
It's me, Nails deChamp, your party guide for ditch day.
欢迎参加本次盛会 - 吃的呢
Welcome to the main event. - Give me some food.
为了来这儿我昨天都没吃晚饭
I skipped dinner last night for this.
我们有好多美食噢 这就叫我们服务生来
We got plenty of food. Let me get my waitress.
请进 - Paula 拿鸡蛋来
Come on in. - Paula, eggs!
饮料在哪
Where this drank at?
好的 好的 我理解
Yeah, yeah, I understand that,
但这让我的两脚肿得像气球似的
but it makes my feet swell up like balloons.
Jillian 把早餐饼干和黑咖啡送过来
Jillian, breakfast biscuit and black coffee.
Jillian
Jillian?
我的天 搞毛啊
Oh, what the fuck?
我不要 我已经饱了
Ah, no. I'm full.
谢谢
Thank you.
嘿 这回觉得我们的浴室怎么样
Hey, what'd you think of the bathroom?
双层魅力牌卫生纸舒服吗
How about that two-ply charmin?
怎么说呢 还不错
You know what? It was all right.
用来擦屁♥股♥触感不错
Them Booty wipes was a nice touch.
痛得人家很舒服
It stings now, but it's a good sting.
完美
Fantastic.
各位
Guys,
大家把手♥机♥收起来 这世界更美好
if we could put our phones away, that'd be great.
好吗 来吧
All right? Come on.
我们整天都盯着电♥话♥
We're staring at these things all day.
都快不认识对方了啊
Do we even know each other anymore?
比方说 幽灵人
For instance, Ghostman.
什么 额 什么来着
What, uh--like, what--
你本名叫什么来着
what's even your real name?
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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