工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S05E11
Part 2
June 29, 2021, 8:56 a.m.
不 你先挂
No, you hang up.
我胖
I'm fat.
我真是太蠢了
I'm so stupid.
你先挂 你 你先挂
You hang up. You--you hang up.
还不错 真的不错
That was good. That was really good.
那些人 可能就是混♥蛋♥吧
Those people were, like, just jerks, probably.
没错 根本不值得你的青睐 Adam
Yeah, not deserving of your time or many talents, Adam.
你们说得没错
You guys are right.
没错
Yeah.
我要重整旗鼓然后拿下一次的尖兵
I'll just regroup and get the next one.
你明白我的意思吗
You know what I mean?
就那么容易 所以我先走了
It's--it's that simple, so if you'll excuse me.
保持乐观 - 没错
Staying positive. - Yes.
哇哦 我觉得他没事
Wow, I think he's okay.
没错 真庆幸我们现在没跟全盛的
Yeah, I'm just glad we're not dealing with the full-blown
Sadam CryMamp相处
Sadam CryMamp right now.
没错 那就太糟了
Yeah, that would be bad,
我可不唱歌♥哄他睡觉
'cause I am not singing him to sleep tonight.
快动手 Waymond 动手
Do it, Waymond. Do it.
现在就动手
Do it now.
不 不 Adam
No, no, Adam.
那是公♥司♥设备
That is company equipment.
我连一笔买♥♥卖♥♥都谈不成 无法拯救我的人生
I can't get a sale to save my life,
我还是结束我的傻♥逼♥人生为好
so I might as well kill my stupid life
然后他妈的血洗整个办公室
and freaking bleed all over the office.
那就是我要做的
That's what I would do,
但Waymond死活不肯动手 Waymond
but Waymond won't pull the damn lever, Waymond!
Waymond 别那么做
Waymond, do not do that.
Adam 你不能这么做 好吗
Adam, you can't do that, all right?
而且 那个东西
Also, there's definitely
绝不可能切断你脖子
no way that thing can go through your neck.
那是嘲笑我胖吗 因为我脖子太胖了吗
Is that a fat joke? 'Cause my neck's too fat?
这跟胖脖子没关系 我们喜欢你的脖子
It is not about a fat neck. We like your neck, okay?
现在 让Waymond走 然后咱们就忘了这些吧
Now, call Waymond off, and let's just forget this happened.
好吧 Waymond 让我起来
Fine. Waymond, let me up.
但我不会参加那个傻♥逼♥游轮狂饮的
But I'm not gonna go on a stupid booze cruise,
因为我 嗷
'cause my--ow!
嗷
Ow!
你把它推进我脖子里了
You pushed it in my neck.
你这个该死的人类小土拔鼠 傻♥逼♥
You freaking little groundhog of a human being--stupid.
借过一下 - 你还好吗
Excuse me. - Are you okay?
你是个怪物 - 你有什么毛病
You're a monster. - What's your problem?
放的真是地方呢
He really filled the hand there.
没错 现在我知道为什么叫他土拔鼠了
Yeah, man, now I know why he was calling him the groundhog.
我们得让这个家伙做成买♥♥卖♥♥ 找回自信
We've got to get this guy a sale to get his confidence back up.
没错 我们要怎么做
Yeah, how do we do that?
我听说这儿有黄油面包
Hey, I heard there's buttered bread in here?
是吗
Is that... true?
"不要打开"
"Do not open."
更像是"一定要打开"吧
More like, "Do open."
热门线路
Alice亲启
"热门线路 Alice亲启"
"Hot leads for Alice's eyes only."
当然了
Yeah, right.
更像是"Adam亲启"
More like, "For Adam's eyes only."
喂
Hello.
喂 我想找Blownoff先生
Hello, may I please speak with a Mr. Blownoff?
我就是 你可以叫我Dick
This is he, and you can call me Dick.
好的 Blownoff先生
Okay, Mr. Blownoff,
我想说 我今天是代表我的公♥司♥ 电美公♥司♥
I am telling-- I am talking to you today
给您打电♥话♥
from my work, TelAmeriCorp.
你厌烦了未经搅拌的食物了吗
Hey, are you sick of unblended foods?
因为 你知道吗
'Cause it's--you know what?
还是算了 我特别不擅长工作 我的生活糟透了
Never mind. I suck at my job. And I suck at my life.
永别吧 - 等一下
Good-bye forever. - Hang on.
听着 孩子 我又不咬人
Listen, son, I don't bite.
你是卖♥♥什么的啊
What are you selling?
傻♥逼♥搅拌机
Stupid freaking blenders.
我要五个
Well, I'll take five.
怎么样
How 'bout that?
太棒了
That's cool.
说实话 我和你坦白讲啊
I mean, honestly, if I'm being real with you,
我都不会跟我自己买♥♥东西 因为第一点 我很胖
I wouldn't buy anything from me, because one, I'm fat,
第二 我很蠢 三 我又胖又蠢
two, I'm stupid, three, I'm fat and stupid combined.
你听起来一点也不胖
Listen, you don't sound fat to me,
只是有点沮丧
maybe a little depressed, huh?
我曾经也是
And I've been there.
真的吗 - 你知道我是怎么做的吗
Really? - You know what I did?
我和我的朋友们去了一个游轮狂饮
I went on a booze cruise with my friends,
然后我就完全没事儿了
and I was totally cured.
所以 搅拌机
Anyway, blenders...
对了 搅拌机
Well, the blenders,
实际上 我要收回之前说的话
actually, I take it back, what I said earlier.
这些搅拌机很棒的 你可以用来做果汁
They're pretty cool. You can make juices.
还可以搅碎一只靴子
You can, like, blend up a boot.
这东西就是这么锋利强劲
That's how sharp this thing is. That's how intense it is.
我现在正好有一只靴子
Oh, I actually have a boot here right now.
哔
Boop.
我的天 靴子完全被搅碎了
Oh, my gosh, the boot, it's blending so well.
太有意思了
That's funny.
看起来周二可以送到
Well, looks like it'll get to you Tuesday,
我只想说谢谢你
and I just want to say thank you.
你真是个好人 Dick Blownoff先生
You are a great man, Mr. Dick Blownoff.
你也是个非常赞的销♥售♥员
And you are a good goddamned salesman.
好的 我要先挂了
Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and put you down
给你订两个搅拌机
for two blenders.
一个厨房♥用 一个地下室用
That is a kitchen blender and a basement blender.
等等 刚拿到手的消息
Oh, wait, this just came in from upstairs.
不是68.99美元
That's not $68.99.
而是49.99美元
It is $49.99.
那在这个价格上我们就成交了行吗
Can I go ahead and close you with that number?
非常好
Very good.
销♥售♥ 销♥售♥ 销♥售♥ 销♥售♥ 销♥售♥ 销♥售♥ 销♥售♥
Selling, selling, selling, selling, selling, selling.
兄弟们 我真为这个游轮狂饮激动啊
Dude, I am so pumped for this booze cruise.
感觉就好像是在预庆祝下个月的销♥售♥尖兵
I'ma, like, celebrate next month's future Top Gun victory.
我们也很开心看到你重新活过来
Yes, I'm just excited to see you happy again.
就像是Sadam已经死了
Like, Sadam is dead.
Sadam是谁
Who's Sadam?
萨♥达♥姆♥
Saddam.
萨♥达♥姆♥死了
Saddam Hussein died.
真的吗 - 对 他们抓住他了
Really? - Yeah, they got him.
他们抓住他了 美国万岁 - 谢天谢地
They got him. USA all the way. - Thank God.
我们没抓到他 但是那些人
Well, we didn't get him, but those guys
他们在沙漠里奋战
who were out there fighting in the desert.
牛逼的海豹突击队 太厉害了
Freaking SEAL team. That's cool, man.
起码<刺杀金正恩>现在解禁了
At least "The Interview" Can come out now.
没错 - 我特别期待那个
Totally. - I've been waiting for that.
太对了 - 就好像我是个亲法分子
Absolutely. - It's, like, I'm a Francophile.
那个家伙是真理
That dude, he's the truth.
我认为那部电影
I was thinking, that movie, like,
是叫<96小时>吧
96 Hours or something like that,
如果是<69小时>呢
what if it was 69 Hours?
那就太有意思了
Ah, that would be way funnier.
就像69了 然后他的小鸡鸡
If it's, like, 69, and he got his dick caught
卡在了石头缝里
between the rocks, and he's like,
然后他就要把小鸡鸡咬掉吗
does he chew his dick off?
或者他的鼻子卡在小妞的屁♥股♥中了
Or he gets his nose caught in some chick's butt,
完了就"我们正在69 我现在需要水"
and he's like, "We're 69ing; I need water now!
我们应该去做小黄♥片♥
We should write pornos.
对啊 我们应该去做小黄♥片♥ - 没错
Yeah, we should write pornos. - We should.
兄弟 我很兴奋
Dude, I'm just pumped, all right?
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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