假如…？（2021）

时间
Time.
空间
Space.
现实
Reality.
它们不仅仅是线性的
It's more than a linear path.
而是一个拥有无限可能的棱镜
It's a prism of endless possibility.
一个选择便能开辟出无数个现实
Where a single choice can branch out into infinite realities,
创造出与你所知不同的平行世界
creating alternate worlds from the ones you know.
我是观察者
I am The Watcher.
我将引领你见识种种新现实
I am your guide through these vast new realities.
跟随我来
Follow me
并思考这个问题…
and ponder the question...
假如…？
"What if?"
布鲁斯·班纳博士 潜藏在浩克里的人类
Dr. Bruce Banner, the human hiding within the Hulk,
从星辰中坠落 来警告人类那迫在眉睫的危机
fell from the stars to warn humanity of imminent danger.
只是他发现那并非他所熟悉的世界
But the world he found was not one he recognized.
萨诺斯要来了 他要来了
Thanos is coming. He's coming.
欧...
Uh...
哈罗?
Hello?
有人可以来点衣服吗?
Anyone got any clothes?
欧天
Oh, God.
我来迟了吗?
Was I too late?
噢 夭寿
Ah, jeez.
来吧 大大 该绿一下了罗
Come on, big guy, time to go green.
噢 不会吧
Oh, no.
聆听我，并心怀感激吧
Hear me and rejoice.
出来 出来 出来啊
Come out! Come out! Come out!
不要!
No!
不要是什么意思?
What do you mean, "no"?
你们即将死在萨诺斯之子手中...
You are about to die at the hands of the children of...
东尼4ni? 哈哈你各位要倒大楣了!
Tony? Boy, are you guys screwed!
啊?
Huh?
赞啦 钢铁人
Yeah, Iron Man!
等等,你们在干嘛...是不是有点...
Wait, what are you guys... That's...
呃, 那好像有点太超过阿
Uh, that sorta seems like overkill.
呜阿
Whoa!
这真是...噢
It's... Oh.
我真不敢相信
I can't believe it.
不不不 欧欧
No, no, no, no. Oh. Oh!
呜阿
Oh!
别吃我啊!
Don't eat me!
噢!恶
Oh! Ugh! Ah.
噢 不
Oh, no.
别别别 别吃我 别 吃 我
No, no, no. Don't eat me. Don't eat me.
我..我吃素的
I'm... I'm vegan.
噢 夭寿 拜托!现在是怎样?
Oh, holy crow. Oh, come on! What now?
天喔 这真是太恶心了
Oh, God. Okay. This is disgusting.
哦！我要吐了 我真的要吐了
Oh, no. Oh! I'm gonna vomit. I'm definitely gonna vomit.
快走!他们会保护你
Go! You'll be safe with them.
跟这群巨型蚂蚁?你是哪位?
With the giant ants? Who are you?
最后的幸存者
All that's left.
哇!
Whoa!
别吃我别吃我... -嘿,放轻松点
Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat... -Hey, relax.
我是你友善的好邻居 蜘蛛人
I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
喔最好是,所以这里到底发生什么事了?
Oh, yeah? Well, then, what the hell happened to the neighborhood?
如同许多大灾难一样
Like too many great catastrophes,
这起发生在一个充满爱和希望的地方
this one sprang from a place of love and hope.
两周前,汉克·皮姆博士 进入量子领域
Two weeks earlier, Dr. Hank Pym journeyed into the quantum realm,
寻找失散多年的妻子
searching for his long-lost wife.
但在这个宇宙
But in this universe,
珍妮特·泛戴茵感染了量子病毒 大脑遭到侵蚀
Janet Van Dyne contracted a quantum virus that corrupted her brain.
当她终于与失散三十年的丈夫重逢时..
So when she finally reunited with her husband after 30 long years...
憾事发生了
Oof. That happened.
恸,荷普·泛戴茵期盼已久的家庭团圆亦灰飞烟灭
Alas, Hope Van Dyne's long-awaited family reunion was not to be.
麻? -你好泛戴茵女士
Mom?
-Hi, Miss Van Dyne.
我的天..搞什..不!汉克
Holy... What the... Hank! No.
整个太平洋西北岸 24小时内全部沦陷
Within 24 hours, the entire Pacific Northwest was infected.
讽刺的是，复仇者联盟的英雄主义定夺了人类的命运
Ironically, it was the Avengers' heroism that sealed humanity's fate.
听我的指令
On my mark.
噢
Ow!
由于地球上最强大的英雄也遭受感染
Because once Earth's mightiest heroes joined the infected,
其他人几乎毫无悬念
no one else stood a chance.
除非 他们知道...防疫规范
Unless, of course, they knew the rules.
纽约!大都会之家，克莱斯勒大厦
New York! Home of the Mets, the Chrysler Building,
什么欲望城市的女角们 都成了僵尸末日的一部分罗
those ladies from Sex and the City, and now, the zombie apocalypse!
如果你能在这存活 那其他更不用说
If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.
但首先 你必须先别被咬
But first, you have to not get eaten.
第一步 穿长袖
Step one. Long sleeves.
我一定要穿吗?
Do I have to be wearing this?
一定要 世界的安全就靠它了
Come on. The safety of the world depends on it.
来开演 僵尸上!
And action, zombies!
来了 我是坏坏僵尸
Here I come. Bad zombie.
僵尸病毒通过唾液传播
The zombie virus is passed through saliva.
所以你露出的越少 被咬的地方越少
So the less skin you're showing, the less there is to bite.
第二部 保持卫生 人类的气味会吸引僵尸
Step two, hygiene. Zombies are attracted to the smell of human flesh.
所以你的费洛蒙越少越好
So the less pheromones you give off, mmm, the better.
不过呢 要小心
But just one catch.
在浴缸里光溜溜就是你最脆弱的时候罗
You're never more vulnerable than in your birthday suit.
偷袭!
The sneak attack!
机器手臂能防水 内外夹弓大力腕 Your robot arm is waterproof.
How handy! Pun intended.
你知道我需要做的就是大力腕一下 对吧?
You know all I have to do is squeeze, right?
好啦好啦 放轻松点 杀手大大
Okay, okay. Easy, killer.
如果我们别冲澡 只使用体香剂呢?
How about we skip the shower and grab the body spray?
我才不要!
No!
好吧 跳过第三步
Okay, step three.
务必瞄准头部 这是杀死他们的唯一方法
Always aim for the head. That's the only way to kill 'em.
你可以把它关了吗?
Will you turn that off?
噢 我只是给班纳博士看一下教学
Oh. I was just showing Dr. Banner the orientation video.
朵拉·米拉洁的奥科耶将军 甘达皇家亲卫队
General Okoye of the Dora Milaje. Wakandan Royal Guard.
你真是选了好时机参访美国呢 将军
You certainly picked a hell of a time to visit the States, General.
我宣誓过，班纳博士
I swore an oath, Dr. Banner.
我的国王一周前 与复仇者联盟一起失踪了
My king went missing with the Avengers weeks ago.
自从疫情爆发以来 我首次看到了希望
And for the first time since the outbreak, we actually have a reason to hope.
我们刚刚收到了一个紧急讯号♥
A beacon just came in over the wires.
某个幸存者营地 声称在解药方面有了进展
Another survivor camp claims to have made progress on a cure.
太赞啦 全球危机有解拉!来击个掌一下
Wh... Awesome! Global crisis solved. High-fives all around, guys.
先别高兴太早
Not quite.
信♥号♥♥的来源目前中断了
The beacon's location was corrupted in transit.
我们不知道确切的位置
We have no idea where it came from.
在我看来 它似乎是一个非线性的十六进位编码
Well, it looks to me like your message is in non-linear hexacode.
那个地点似曾相识,卡特干员?
That location look familiar, Agent Carter?
这是新泽西州的理海营区 神盾局首个行动基地
It's Camp Lehigh in New Jersey. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s first base of operations.
那应该有足够制♥造♥解药的设备
It could have the equipment you need to fabricate a cure.
我们在日落前出发
Then we'll leave at sundown.
唉 当你觉得事情已经遭到极点的时候
Well, just when you thought things couldn't get any worse,
我们还要去纽泽西
we gotta go to Jersey.
都僵尸他乃乃的末日了 我还是个司机
Zombie-freakin'-apocalypse, and somehow, I'm still driving.
怎么了吗?我以为你一直是个Uber司机呢
What is the problem? I thought you were an Uber driver.
才不是,我是私人司机 不一样好吗
No. I'm a personal chauffeur. There's a difference.
好啦 大家 我们到中♥央♥车站罗
All right, everybody, it's Grand Central.
霍普、班纳、帕克去七号♥月台 看能否开动火车
Hope, Banner, Parker, track seven. See if you can hot-wire the train.
听起来很像犯罪分子的活 我来帮忙
Sounds like job for criminal. I will help.
痾 分开行动?
Uh, splitting up?
你们瓦甘达没有恐怖片吗?
Do you guys just not have horror movies in Wakanda?
不需要 我们有美国的真人实境秀
We don't need them. We have American reality shows.
猛爆发言! 讲得我们不要不要的
Boom goes the dynamite. That was solid burn on all of us.
剩下我们留守在这里
The rest of us will stay here and guard the perimeter.
没有电 电力不够啊
No juice. We're getting no juice.
火车大大 麻烦您给点面子
Train, please be working for Daddy.
阿没作用
It's not working.
我们没法使用变速箱