废柴舅舅（2014）

Are you married? No.
你结婚了吗 没
I used to be. To Gwen's mum? Mmmhmm.
我结过婚 娶了Gwen的妈妈 嗯哼
Did she divorce you because you dress like a lady?
她是因为你穿得像女人才和你离婚的吗
You ask a lot of questions. You skip a lot of questions.
你的问题真多 你也回避了不少
You ready to go, kiddo? In a bit of a hurry.
准备走了吗 小家伙 有点赶
Where've you two been?
你们去哪儿了
Just went outside for a smoke.
出去抽了根烟
I love smoking.
我最爱抽烟了
Your fly's undone.
你拉链没拉
Can I have a word?
我们能聊聊吗
It's not what you think. My flies are always coming undone
不是你想的那样 我裤拉链一直开着的
and I just think it's a manufacturing problem... Shut up.
我觉得这裤子是粗制滥造 闭嘴
I know we've had our differences
我过去虽然对你有点偏见
but I also know how hard it is being a single dad.
但我知道作一个单亲爸爸有多难
And I have to respect you
我不得不敬佩
for the job you've done on your little kid.
你对那小家伙所做的一切
He's a good boy.
他是个好孩子
Maybe you're not the useless prick I thought you were.
或许你没我想的那么一无是处
Thank you. Hmm.
谢谢 嗯
But you still hurt my little girl and I will rip your...
但你再伤我闺女的心 我会割了你的
Dickspoon. Yeah, I got you. All right.
勺割老二 我懂 知道就好
We have to go. Do you really? We were having such a nice time.
我们得走了 真的吗 我们不是玩的很开心吗
Yeah, I know, but I've got to get this one to a piano lesson.
是的 我知道 不过我得送他去上钢琴课
Haven't I, Maestro?
对吧 音乐大♥师♥
Don't touch me.
别碰我
Boundary issues. When can I see you again?
不爱亲近 我们什么时候再见
Well, that depends.
那就要看
How committed are you to changing?
你到底有多真心了
I'll show you how committed I am.
我会让你知道我有多真心
Gwen...
Gwen
..Marry me.
嫁给我
I'm not his son!
我不是他儿子
Look, he paid me to say I was. Don't listen to him.
他花钱雇我来演 别听他乱讲
And my name's not Romeo, it's Errol!
我不叫Romeo 我叫Errol
What sort of a stupid name is Errol?
谁会叫Errol这么蠢的名字
He's just angry his mum couldn't pick him up from school.
他妈没去接他 他在闹别扭呢
You told me his mum was dead? She is.
你不是说他妈死了 她是死了
That's part of the problem.
这也是问题的一部分
Daaaaad!
爸爸
**Gwen*
*Gwen
**Do you remember when*
*你是否还记得
**We were more than friends?*
*我们还是情人时
**Do you remember when..?*
*你是否还记得
**Every time that you'd get cold*
*每当你感到寒冷
**I'd put my coat around your shoulder*
*我脱下外套披在你的肩膀
**I'd pick you flowers in a bunch*
*我送你一束花
**And buy you tampons every month*
*每个月给你买♥♥卫生巾
**I rubbed your shoulders when they hurt*
*肩酸的时候我给你揉肩
**I helped you finish your dessert*
*帮你解决你剩下的点心
**I flushed that spider down the bath*
*把蜘蛛冲进下水道
**I punched my dick to make you laugh*
*自残鸡鸡只为博你一笑
**I'd compliment you on your dress*
*我夸你的裙子很美
**I'd shut your mouth when you got stressed*
*你压力大时帮你闭嘴
**I'd buy you drinks and get you drunk*
*为你买♥♥酒陪你醉
**I'd even clean up my own mess*
*我甚至清理自己的烂摊子
**Gwen!*
*Gwen
**Do you remember when*
*你是否还记得
**I was your best boyfriend?*
*我曾是你的最佳男友
**Oh, take me back again*
*噢 再爱我一次
**Oh, Gwen*
*噢 Gwen
**Oh, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen*
*噢 Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen
**I took you on the Ferris wheel*
*我带你坐摩天轮
**I let you pay for half the meal*
*随你性子分摊账单
**When you were looking very hard*
*当你晕头转向
**I helped you find your credit card*
*我帮你找到信♥用♥卡♥
**I fixed your teapot that I broke*
*修好我打破的茶壶
**I tried to listen when you spoke*
*认真听你长篇大论
**I said that I was in the wrong*
*我承认我错了
**And then I wrote this fucking song*
*然后写了这首烂歌♥
**Gwen!*
*Gwen
**I think I got the bends*
*我觉得我屈服了
**Have there been other men?*
*你有其他男人了吗
**Do you remember when..?*
*你是否还记得
**Oh, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen*
*噢 Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen
**Gwen!*
*Gwen
**It doesn't have to end*
*我们的感情并未结束
**It's something we can mend*
*总有什么可以弥补
**Do you remember when..?*
*你是否还记得
**Oh, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen*
*噢 Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen
Can you take me home now?
你能送我回家了吗
Make your own way home. Hey!
自己回去 嘿
You can't just leave me!
你不能就这么丢下我
Do you know what you've just done?
你知道你刚刚做了什么吗
You just ruined my last chance at happiness.
你毁了我获得幸福的最后机会
But you lied to her.
可是你骗了她
"But you lied to her."
"可是你骗了她"
So what?! Everyone lies.
那又怎样 每个人都在撒谎
All the time. You lied.
无时无刻不是如此 你也说谎了
You lied about your leg, you lied about the drawing.
你的腿 你的画 你都在骗人
Do you want know the truth is?
你想知道真♥相♥
The truth is no-one's got any time for you.
真♥相♥就是没人有空理你
Not your mum, not your dad and especially not me.
你妈 你♥爸♥ 特别是我
Why should I go out of my way to keep the Little Prince happy?
为什么我要不辞辛苦的让你这小王子开心
You'll never be happy.
你永远都不会开心
Do you know why? Because it's all about yourself.
你知道为什么吗 因为一切都是关于你自己
It's all "Me-me-me-me".
都是"我 我 我 我"
Shit. Roly!
靠 Roly
Here they are! My two travellers, home at las...
终于回来了 我的两个旅行者 终于回家
Oh, shit! What happened to your face?
靠 你脸怎么了
Nothing. I just...
没什么 我只是
..Ran into a goal post.
撞到球门柱了
Well, come in. Let me get you some ice.
进来吧 我去拿冰块
So, did you two have a good time?
你们两个玩得开心吗
Look, Sam...
听着 Sam
..Before you hear it from Errol,
在Errol之前
you should probably hear it from me first...
你或许该先听我说
We had the best time ever!
我们玩的超级开心
Uncle Andy even took me for ice cream.
Andy舅舅还带我去吃冰淇淋了
Did he? That was nice of him.
真的 那可真好
Oh, quick. That'll be your dad. Get it.
快 那是你♥爸♥ 快去接
You'll never guess what. What? You're pregnant again?
你永远都猜不到发生了什么 什么 你又怀孕了
Fuck off. No, I've got this amazing professor.
滚你丫的 不是 我碰到一个很好的教授
He gave me an "A" In my compulsive behaviours essay.
他给我强制行为的论文打了个A
He said it was incandescent.
他说我的论文棒极了
Congratulations. He definitely wants to bang you.
恭喜 你绝对想睡你
Oh, God, I hope so, he's really, really fit.
最好是 他真的真的很帅气
Anyway, enough about me - what did you two talk about?
好了 不说我了 你们两个聊了什么
Oh, nothing. Women, football.
没什么 女人 足球
Uncle/nephew-type stuff.
就舅舅外甥之间的那些事
You know, you really saved my life today.
你知道吗 你今天真的帮了我大忙
Well, you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?
呃 换做是你 也会帮我的不是吗
So, now uni's started again,
现在我又要开始上学了
do you think you could help out with Roly once in a while?
你觉得你能时不时的帮我照顾Roly吗
Yeah, if I'm still around. Still around? Where are you going?
可以 如果我还在的话 还在 你要去哪儿
Nowhere. It's just a figure of speech, isn't it?
没去哪儿 就随便一说
Look, I'm going to give that back to you
这还是还给你吧
cos I don't really know what I'm doing with it.
我真的不知道拿来干什么
It's not really doing anything for me
对我来说没什么用处
and I'm going to go.
我得走了
Got a hot date?
佳人有约吗