废柴舅舅（2014）

Uncle S01E06

Part 5 Dec. 30, 2020, 9:35 p.m.

Ben, wait!
Ben 别
Excuse me. The family can come through now.
不好意思家人现在可以进来了
No, not you. You're not going anywhere near my son.
不你不行你不准再靠近我儿子了
Sam
Sam
Just go home, Andy.
回家吧 Andy
Shelly...
Shelly
Where are you going?
你去哪
Home. You could stay?
回家你可以留下的
I never thought I'd say this,
我从没想过我会这么说
but I think out of everyone
但是我思前想后
you probably hate me the least right now.
你可能会是现在最不恨我的人了
Andy, I'm used to being the crazy one in a relationship,
Andy 曾经我是恋爱中疯狂的一方
but you, you just blow me out the water.
但你你比我更下♥贱♥
But it wasn't my fault.
这并不是我的错
It was a little bit your fault.
有一点是你的错
Hey. How are you feeling?
嗨你怎么样了
Good. No lasting brain damage.
不错没有脑损伤后遗症
But I'm still keeping an eye on it.
但是我还在观察中
Are you back at school yet?
你回学校了么
Yeah. They made me a gluten free cake.
回了他们做了一个无麸质的蛋糕给我
Is everyone this nice when you have an overdose?
药磕多了别人都会对你这么好吗
I wish.
我倒是想
Do you know of the verdict yet?
你知道判决结果了么
No. Your mum said three.
不知道你妈说三点才出来
When can I come over and play video games?
什么时候我才能过去玩游戏
Mr King?
King先生
Look, I've got to go. Bye.
听着我得挂了拜
Would you say you work well with others?
你能和他人和睦相处么
Definitely. People love me.
当然人们都喜欢我
At school I was voted most likely to start a cult.
在学校我被投票选为最有可能组织邪教的人
What would you say is like the toughest choice
你认为你曾经做过的
you've ever had to make?
最艰难的选择是什么
Whopper or Big Mac. I still can't decide.
皇堡还是巨无霸我现在都无法抉择
One of them flame grilled, the other one's a double patty.
一个是明火烧烤的一个是双层肉饼的
It's like Sophie's Choice in a way, isn't it?
就像<苏菲的选择> 是不
You've been working as a babysitter. How did that come about?
你做过保姆这是怎么回事
I got that gig through a family connection.
我通过家庭关系得到的工作
I can't handle kids, personally.
个人而言我搞不定孩子
Don't have the patience for them.
没有那个耐心
I know what you mean.
我懂你的意思
It's weird, one minute you want to throw them in the river tied to a bag of rocks,
这很奇怪一分钟前你想把他绑上石头扔进河里
the next minute you find yourself...
下一分钟你就发现
Doing the most ridiculous things in order to make them happy.
为了让他开心你愿意做任何可笑的事
Excuse me.
不好意思
Objection!
我反对
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
我靠我靠
We're in the middle of a hearing.
我们正在开听证会
Your honour, that's my sister sitting right there.
法官大人坐在那里的是我姐姐
And she doesn't deserve to have her boy taken away because of me.
你不能因为我剥夺她的监护权
You know, I'm the fuck up.
是我弄砸了一切
I'm a 31-year-old nobody musician
我是个31岁还默默无闻的音乐家
who can't hold down a job or a relationship.
保不住工作也搞不定恋爱
I lie for fun, I hurt everyone I care about.
我撒谎仅仅为了好玩我伤害了所有我在乎的人
I've used a sock as toilet paper...
我用过袜子当厕纸
on more than one occasion.
还不止一次
I'm a shabby battering ram
我是这一切的罪魁祸首
and it's my fault Errol ended up in hospital.
是我害Errol进了医院
It was my fault and my fault alone.
是我一个人的错误
Don't punish Sam cos of my mistakes.
别因为我的错惩罚Sam
She's a great mum and he's a great kid.
她是个好妈妈而他是个好孩子
He's taught me how to de-scale a kettle,
他教我怎么给水壶去锈
the correct way to fold T-shirts.
教我怎么正确地叠衣服
He's just taught me the meaning of "Homo erectus"
他还告诉我"直立猿人"的意思(性奋的基佬)
and it's not what you think it is.
这词完全和你们想的不一样
I swear I won't go near that kid again.
我发誓我不会再靠近那个孩子一步
Just don't ruin his childhood because of me.
但请不要因为我毁了他的童年
He was just starting to get normal.
他的一切才刚步入正轨
Um. The defence rests.
呃答辩结束
Andy, wait!
Andy 等等
I'm sorry. That was a bad idea.
对不起那是个烂主意
I think I've just made things a lot worse.
我好像帮了倒忙
Roly? What are you doing here?
Roly 你来这干嘛
You wouldn't return my calls.
你不回我的电♥话♥
Sorry, mate. The restraining order...
抱歉伙计但是有限制令呐
Doesn't say anything about calling.
又没说不能打电♥话♥
Seriously, you should go. I mean, 200 metres.
你该走了我必须离你至少200米远
We're already breaking the law as it is.
我们这么做已经违法了
Since when do you care about the law?
什么时候你开始在乎法律了
I'm taking the bus home now,
我正要乘巴士回家
so if you factor in traffic, road works, delays,
因为交通堵塞和各种情况的耽搁
that could easily give us an hour.
至少能给我们一个小时
An hour for what?
一个小时做什么
So... how are you doing?
你最近怎么样
Yeah. Shared custody isn't that bad, really.
不错监护权共享还挺好说真的
Mum and Dad are in better moods now.
爸爸妈妈的心情也很好
Oh, I made a new schedule.
我做了新的日程表
Oh, yeah.
好吧
It's good seeing you.
见到你很高兴
Yeah.
好吧
Whatever.
随你便