废柴舅舅（2014）

Uncle S01E04

Part 5 Dec. 30, 2020, 9:34 p.m.

**And your bum becomes a fountain...*
*马上就要一泻千里
**Diarrhoea, diarrhoea*
*腹泻君腹泻君
**When you're driving in your car*
*当你驾驶汽车飞驰
**And your house is just too far*
*一眼仍然望不到家
**Diarrhoea, diarrhoea*
*腹泻君腹泻君
Joan, I know you think I'm a mess,
Joan 我知道你认为我现在糟透了
and I have my moments, but I am a good mum.
而且有时候会崩溃但我是个好妈妈
I know.
我知道
And I'm sorry for earlier.
很抱歉之前发生的一切
I can get a bit "Mommy Dearest" When I'm let out of my cage.
我有时候会太肆意变成疯子母亲
Ben and I should have been straight with you from the start.
我和Ben应该在第一时间向你坦白
We all really need to communicate better. For Roly's sake.
为了Roly 我们应该开诚布公的交流
Because I would like to be friends, Joan.
因为我想和你做朋友 Joan
We don't have to be friends, darling.
亲爱的我们不用成为朋友
We're family!
我们是家人
More grape juice?
再来点葡萄汁吗
Look, um, I'm sorry I ruined your roast.
嘿很抱歉我毁了你的烤肉
It's just with all your cool stories and...
只是你有那么酷的经历
The way Roly looks up to me?
还有Roly对我的崇拜
No, actually, just your cool stories.
不只是嫉妒你的传奇故事而已
You know I sometimes get jealous of you, right? Really, why?
你不知道吧我有时也很嫉妒你是吗为什么
You make him laugh and you've got that whole music connection...
你能逗他开心而且你们在音乐上很有默契
I've got no musical talent whatsoever.
我一点音乐天赋都没有
Yeah, you're right.
是啊你是对的
I suppose I am an unbelievably cool uncle.
我真是个了不起的舅舅啊
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah, I mean, sometimes being handsome and super intelligent isn't everything.
是啊有时英俊又聪明没啥了不起的
How did it go?
怎么样了
He's going to need time to process.
他需要点时间消化一下
He's asked to see his uncles.
他说要见一下他的叔叔和舅舅
Did you know I've got a tattoo?
你不知道我还有个纹身吧
I'd show it you, but it's in a...
我本来想给你看的但是
hard to reach place.
位置比较尴尬
Can you guess what it says?
猜猜是什么纹身
"Boobs", with nipples inside the Os?
"咪♥咪♥"两个字而且乳♥头♥在口字旁里
I wish. No, it says, "Will you go out with me, Dolores?"
我倒是想呢其实是"愿意和我一起约会吗 Dolores"
She was a girl at uni.
她是我大学认识的一个女生
I thought she'd be won over by my, um... dedication.
我以为她会被我的献身精神所感动呢
What did she say?
那她怎么说的
Well, she laughed in my face. After I pulled my trousers back up.
她在我把裤子提起来后当着我的面嘲笑我
Point is, that thing is going nowhere.
重点是纹身一直都在
Just like us.
就像我们一样
And, sure, your dad might be seeing a new bird,
虽然你♥爸♥爸会开始和其他人约会
but he's still your dad, and your mum's still your mum,
但他还是你的爸爸你妈也还是你妈
and they both love you. For some weird reason.
不知出于什么原因他们都很爱你
What your Uncle Andy's trying to say is,
你Andy舅舅想说的是
if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know who to call.
如果你需要倾诉你知道该打给谁
Me. Me.
当然是我啦当然是我啦
Did you make sure the needle was sterilised?
你确定针头是消过毒的吗
Because you know you can catch hepatitis from a tattoo.
因为纹身可能会让你染上肝炎的
Yeah, don't worry about that.
别担心那个了
I had it bleached, burnt and boiled.
我把它消过毒烤过火煮过水
Thanks, guys.
谢谢你俩
Nice job, man.
做得好兄弟
Yeah.
是啊
I'm definitely his favourite.
我绝对是他的最爱
Mm...
呃
Gingin? Yes, darling?
奶奶怎么了宝贝
Earlier you said Mum and Dad's wedding was 12 years ago,
之前你说过爸爸妈妈的婚礼是十二年前
but I'm 12 and a half.
但是我已经十二岁半了
How does that work?
这怎么可能呢
Ooh, poppadoms!
噢印度脆饼
**Who am I*
*若没有你
**Without you?*
*我会如何