废柴舅舅（2014）

Made the name cards and everything.
做了名牌和所有别的东西
Mum, you're sitting next to Dad.
妈妈 你坐在爸爸旁边
Oh, that's great.
噢 太好了
Andy, what a lovely surprise.
Andy 真是太惊喜了
Like that time you fell face first into the wedding cake.
就像那次你把脸摔进婚礼蛋糕里一样
I can't remember anything about that night. I was wasted.
我不记得那晚的事了 我烂醉如泥
Yes. We remember.
是啊 我们记得
Speaking of, what would everyone like to drink?
说到这个 大家想喝点什么
I know you love a good glass of white, don't you, Sam?
Sam 我知道你想要一杯上好的白葡萄酒是吧
Oh, Joan, you know I can't...
噢 Joan 你知道我不能
..Wait to try...some of your white. That would be lovely.
等得及尝尝你的白葡萄酒了 太好了
Ben, can I have a quick word? It's about school fees.
Ben 能借一步说话吗 关于学费的事
Since everyone's pairing up, how about a quick band meeting, Errol?
既然是两两配对 Errol 能借一步开个乐队会议吗
C'mon, it's a simple question, who do you choose?
拜托 就是个简单的问题 你选谁
And you're the same distance away?
你们距离都一样
Yes. The house is on fire.
是啊 房♥子着火了
We're both inside, we're both the exact same distance from you
我们都在屋里 我们离你距离一样远
and you can only save one of us.
而你只能救一个人
Who do you pick? Is it me or is it Rex?
你选谁 救我还是Rex
Well, Rex is a doctor, so if I get hurt saving him...
Rex是个医生 所以如果我救他的时候受伤了
Come on, you're not seriously going to pick Jesus Christ, Super Surgeon?
不会吧 你不是真的要选那个天杀的超级医生吧
Why? Are you jealous?
为什么 你嫉妒了
Pfft. Of that clown? Please.
切 嫉妒那个小丑 怎么可能
Now, we're both unconscious,
现在 我们都晕过去了
so our skills don't come into play this time. Who do you pick?
所以我们的技能不在考虑范围内 你选谁
You want me to pick a favourite? No...
你要我选个最爱出来 才不是
No, I just want you to tell me
我只是想让你告诉我
which one of your uncles you don't want see burning to death.
你不想谁被活活烧死
Hypothetically.
假设而已
Do you think Mum and Dad are getting back together?
你觉得爸爸是要和妈妈复合吗
I think that's what Dad's announcement is.
我觉得爸爸想公布的就是这事
Pick an uncle and I'll tell you.
先选我再告诉你
OK, I'll pick one, but I need time to think about it.
好吧 我会选 但我得想想
You said you were going to tell her. I am, I just...haven't yet.
你说过你会告诉她的 我会啊 只是还没说
It's been a year. She's going to find out I was in rehab at some point.
都一年了 她迟早会发现我进了康复中心
Where does she think I disappeared to for there months?
不然她觉得我那三个月失踪到哪儿去了
I might have told her you went to stay with your parents in Spain
我可能告诉她 我们分居之后你去西班牙陪父母了
to regroup after the separation.
化解分手的悲痛
You have terrible honesty issues. I'm honest,
你真的有很严重的诚信问题 我很诚实
It's just...if Mum finds out you did drugs then she'll find out i did them too,
但如果我妈发现你嗑药 她就会发现我也嗑药
and I just...I can't do that to her.
我不能这样对她
She doesn't even know I smoke cigarettes.
她连我抽烟都不知道
Can't you just play along, please, for Roly?
你能不能就帮忙演一演 拜托 为了Roly
Fine. So, what's this big news?
好吧 那你要宣布♥什♥么大事
I'm not telling till after lunch.
午餐后我才会说
Are you dropping the custody case? Um...no.
你是不是要放弃抚养权了 呃 不是
Are you dying? Is it that weird lump on your ball?
你是不是要死了 是不是你蛋蛋上那个奇怪的肿块
What? No. What weird lump?
什么 不是 什么奇怪的肿块
You're like one of those bomb sniffing dogs.
你真像防暴犬一样嗅觉灵敏
Ehh, have you got any beer?
呃 有啤酒吗
Cheers.
谢谢
You know, you might not remember the wedding, but I do.
你知道吗 你可能不记得婚礼那天了 但我记得
And aside from the heartbreak of watching my son make the biggest mistake of his life,
除了心碎地看着我儿子犯下他人生最大的错误之外
it was one of the more enjoyable nights I've had.
算得上是我最享受的夜晚之一
Yeah, the band were good, weren't they?
是啊 乐队不错 是吧
I'm not talking about the band.
我不是在说乐队
Errol's a lucky boy. Two strapping uncles looking out for him, Keep him on his toes.
Errol很幸运 有高大的叔叔和舅舅照看他保护他
What are you two gossiping about?
你们俩在说什么呢
Your amazing cooking.
你让人惊叹的厨艺
Rex is making spring lamb au jus with potatoes dauphinoise.
Rex要做羊肉原汁配焗土豆
I swear, if he hadn't become a paediatric surgeon,
我发誓 如果他没当儿童外科医生
he'd be a Michelin star chef by now.
现在就是米其林星级大厨了
No, no, It's nothing.
这没什么了
The secret is you've just got to slow roast it for ages on an achingly low temp
秘诀就是要用小火慢慢烤
until the meat just melts off the bone.
直到肉从骨头上化下来
You are just too perfect.
你简直是太完美了
That'll be the others.
肯定是其他客人来了
"You're just too perfect."
"你简直是太完美了"
Andy! Hey.
Andy 嘿
Bruce? What are you doing here?
Bruce 你在这干嘛
Our kids play on the same football team. How do you two...?
我们的孩子在一个足球队里 你们两个是怎么
Fight club. Mate! First rule.
搏击俱乐部 兄弟 忘了第一条规则吗
Watch out for this one, she tackles like John Terry.
小心这个家伙 她铲起球来就像John Terry
Let's hope she isn't racist like John Terry.
希望她不像John Terry那样种族歧视
Allegedly. Mrs Meyer, these are for you.
我是听说的 Meyer夫人 这是送给你的
Oh, they're lovely. Where did you get them? Tesco.
真美 你从哪弄来的 乐购超♥市♥
Hey, Bruce. How's Claire?
嗨 Bruce Claire最近还好吧
Great. Busy managing the salon. Work, work, work.
很好 在忙美容院的事呢 整天工作
She did Tiff's nails. Show her, Tiff.
她给Tiff美甲了 给她看看 Tiff
Wow. Those are fab. Do you like them, Errol?
哇 真好看 你喜欢吗 Errol
Mum's nail polish gives me a rash.
指甲油会让我起疹子
Bruce, this is my brother, Rex. He's visiting from Africa.
Bruce 这是我弟弟Rex 他刚从非洲回来看我们
Oh, cool. My dad's Nigerian. Igbo.
真好 我爸是尼日利亚人 伊博族
Kedu ka imere?
你好吗
Yes. What did you say, Uncle Rex?
是的 Rex叔叔 你刚说的什么
I asked how he was doing, in Igbo.
我用伊博语问他还好吗
"Entres dans mon Jacuzzi." What's that in French, Errol?
"进到我的浴缸来" Errol 这句法语是什么意思
Get in my Jacuzzi? You're welcome.
到我浴缸里来 别羡慕我
Sam, would you help me put these in water?
Sam 过来帮我把花放到花瓶里
Come on, kids, I'll tell you about how I helped a lioness give birth.
过来小鬼头们 我和你们说我帮母狮接生的故事
Spoiler alert - he's the father.
剧透 他是那个父亲
I didn't know you were mates with Ben.
我都不知道你和Ben是朋友
Er, no, we're not really.
也不算吧
He invited Tiff so Errol would have company.
他邀请Tiff过来陪Errol的
I swear I wouldn't have come if I knew you and Sam were here.
我发誓如果知道你和Sam在这 我绝对不会来的
I mean, with the custody thing. I hate picking sides.
我真心不想介入他们的抚养权争夺中
Yeah, but if you had to, you'd pick Sam, right?
但如果你必须表个态 你会站在Sam这边 对吧
She's always talking about how much she likes you. Really?
她总是说她多么喜欢你 真的吗
No. But you know, she could have been.
假的 但也不一定啦
Now, I'm cooler than Rex, aren't I? Yeah, definitely.
我比Rex要酷 对吧 当然
If you were a boy band, he'd be like Gary Barlow.
如果你们是一个男孩团体 他就是Gary Barlow
He gets all the respect, but Robbie's having ALL the fun.
大家都尊重他 但Robbie才是最快活的
But people still respect Robbie as well, right?
但大家也同样尊重Robbie的 对吧
Yeah, sure. Yeah
当然了 那就好
Now tell me this - is it incest if you had sex with your ex-GILF-in-law?
我问你 跟前亲家上♥床♥算不算乱♥伦♥
What?
啥
Never mind.
没什么
Isn't Errol doing well?
Errol是不是很棒
I know. Did he tell you he got an A on his family tree project?
是啊 他有没有告诉你 他做的家谱得了A
Brilliant.
太好了
You know, I was so worried about him after the separation.
你俩分开后我真的很担心他
Especially while you were in Spain, living it up.
特别是你在西班牙纵情作乐那阵儿
Thank goodness Ben was around to pick up the pieces.
还好有Ben收拾残局
You still haven't touched your wine.
你怎么一口都没喝呢
I'm just...saving it for the meal.
我留着吃饭的时候喝
Sam, are we friends?
Sam 我们是朋友吗
Of course. Yes.
当然是啊
Oh, good.
那就好
I was afraid we had a sort of Queen Liz and Diana sort of thing going on.
我很怕我们会像伊丽莎白女王和戴安娜王妃一样
We know how that ended. Right, so who's Charles?
那结局不怎么好 是啊 那谁是查尔斯王子
Well, the family is Charles.
家庭就是查尔斯王子
And we all want what's best for Charles, don't we?
我们都是为了查尔斯王子好 不是吗
I mean, just because you ran off to Spain when Errol needed you most,
虽然你在Errol最需要你的时候跑到西班牙去了
doesn't mean that your heart isn't in the right place.
并不意味着你没有心系家庭
I'm sure you had your reasons.
我相信你一定有你的苦衷
Here, let's make a toast... to Charles.
来 这一杯敬查尔斯王子
Actually, I just remembered. I'm on antibiotics.
我刚想起来 我最近在吃抗生素
So I shouldn't really be drinking. Just one sip won't kill you.
所以我不能喝酒 就一口又不会死
Come on, drink up, or I'll feel insulted.
快点 喝完 不然很不礼貌
This is grape juice.
这是葡萄汁