机械之声的传奇（2022）

你们好去救出珀西的妹妹
while you save Percy's sister.
那得是很大的乱子才行
That would have to be an enormous distraction.
对啊 可是你这么袖珍
Yeah, and you're tiny.
那我选个大目标啊
Well, then I'll pick a big target.
那个打手 温克曼 -韦德迈尔
T-That bruiser. Venkman. -Vedmire.
对！我要去放火烧了他的狗屁房♥子！
Yes, I'll burn down his motherfucking house.
火要大到整个白石城都看得见
A fire that big would be seen across Whitestone.
我看不行 太危险了
The answer is no. It's far too dangerous.
你这孤芳自赏也太过了
And you're far too... you.
我和格劳格去吧 这个我比你在行
Grog and I will go. I'm much better at this.
不行！你们两个是打打杀杀的人
No. You're the stabby-kill-kill guys.
我可以自己去搞定这件事
I can do this alone.
我有这些药剂… -哪瓶管什么事情来着？
I've got these potions. - Which do what again?
不知道 但没关系
No idea, but it doesn't matter.
听好了 我就是首席干扰官
Look, I'm a master distractor.
我的歌♥声 我的笑话 我的…我自己！
My songs, my jokes, my... me.
维克斯 你总是说我招人烦
Vex, you're always saying I'm annoying.
那我就去招人烦吧
Hmm. - Well, let me be annoying.
如果碰上麻烦 我们会顾不上你
If there's trouble, we can't help.
别担心我 要干什么我心知肚明
Ah, don't worry about me. I know exactly what I'm doing.
我他妈的这是在干什么？
What the fuck am I doing?
“我是首席干扰官 我要放火烧掉他的房♥子” 真是白♥痴♥
Ooh, I'm a master distractor. Ooh, I'm gonna burn his house down. Ugh. Moron!
来吧 还有这个呢
Whew. Okay, come on, come on, come on, you got this.
从来没有人怀疑过斯坎兰大人 对吧？
No one ever suspects the Scan-man. Right?
对不对？对啊
Right? Yeah, right.
那个噪音到底是什么？
What the hell was that noise?
去看看
Come on.
像猫一样跳上墙
♪ Hoppin' walls like a cat ♪
就是要这么帅的摔下来
♪ Totally meant to do that ♪♪
斯坎兰之手
Scanlan's hand!
会证明维克斯错了
♪ Gonna prove Vex wrong ♪
除非这见鬼的雨一直下
♪ Unless fucking rain comes along ♪♪
该死
Oh, shit.
该死
Oh, shit.
入侵者！是那群人的同伙！
Trespasser! It's one of them!
该死！
Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit!
嘿！他往那边跑了 进了那扇门！
He went that way! - Through that door!
挪开它！ -锁了 见鬼的锁…
Locked. Locked. - Move it, move it! Fucking lock...
扔色子吧 看看你能不能出个…
Ugh! Roll to see if he... Huh?
嗨
Uh... hi.
先生们 为你们的健康干杯
Gentlemen, to your health.
我还以为有什么用呢
No? Yeah, I really thought that would do something.
真有啊
Oh, hell yes.
你知道吗？让我来…
Uh, you know what, lemme just...
第二瓶药水
Potion number two.
会有什么效果？ -恶心的小麻疹！
How would this ever help?! -Loathsome measle!
没打着我啊 公公
Missed me, Dukey.
没错 这种活还是瓦克斯厉害一些
Yeah, yeah. Vax is way better at this.
好吧 最后一瓶 一定要好用啊
Okay. Last one. Please be something good.
他妈的！
Fuck.
那么 到底是谁吃错了药
So... what misguided ambitions
把这个矬子扔进我家的？
delivered this miniature parcel to my abode?
说起来其实蛮有趣的
Yeah, uh, funny story actually.
我还以为这里是白石城大道七十四号♥
I thought this was 74 Whitestone Drive,
想必这里一定是白石城大街七十四…
But it must be 74 Whitestone Aven...
再讲几个笑话？
More jokes.
我一般用树把小孩子的尸首串起来
I strung children's corpses from a tree,
但是我向你保证 对付你的招数更厉害
but I promise you, you will suffer worse.
快跑！大家都快跑！ -这真方便…
Get away! Everybody run! -Wow, that was convenien...
在担心你妹妹？
Thinking about your sister?
都能看出来了？
Is it that obvious?
你最后一次见她时 她只有13岁吧？
She was 13 when you last saw her, right?
真是甜蜜的年纪
Such a sweet age.
她是个噩梦 总是给我找麻烦
She was a nightmare. Always got me in trouble.
无事生非 上蹿下跳 一刻都没法安静
Terminally irritating, pompous, - utterly incapable of silence. -
她听起来像斯坎兰啊
She sounds like Scanlan. -
他们算不上是完全不同的人
They're not entirely different, no.
我希望她平安
I hope she's okay.
斯坎兰也平安
Scanlan, too.
- Open!
他妈的！
Aah! Oh, fuck, ah!
快！回到你的哨位上去！
Put your back into it!
干掉它！
Break it down!
这家伙比我更奇怪
This guy's weirder than me. Huh?
韦斯特伦、达西奥堡、埃芒 这帮疯子们在玩什么把戏？
Oh. Westruun, Fort Daxio, Emon. What are these psychos playing at?
帮我打开这扇门！
Help me with this door!
还有 你去把火扑灭！ -该死！
And you, put out that fire! -Oh, shit. Okay, uh,
不 -快！
no, no, no. - Give me some room!
惹火 但是现在不是时候
Tempting, but not the right time.
快了！ -砸开它！
It's almost there!
卷轴 这愚蠢的玩意儿我都读了上百遍了
This scroll. I've read this stupid thing a hundred times.
但是我从来没照着唱过
But I've never sung it. Huh. Okay,
去他妈的
fuck it.
我会剔出你的骨头再…
I'll filet you and use your bones for... Huh?
不赖
Not bad.
我平常都是在野兽的地盘上狩猎
Normally I hunt beasts in their domain.
这么玩应该有点意思
This should be interesting.
门总是该开的时候不开
Doors are such bullshit.
不赖 我应该背下那个咒语的
Heh, not bad. I should remember that spell.
现在是我胜利大逃亡的时候了
Now for my grand exit.
或者不逃！ -想跑？
Or not. -Going somewhere?
小家伙 今晚挺忙啊？
Had a busy evening, little man?
你这小小蛆虫
You're a tiny maggot.
但是你的脑袋 还是可以漂亮地挂在我的墙上
But your head will still mount nicely on my wall.
亲爱的
Darling.
斯坎兰八成正在哪个妓院里翻云覆雨吧
Scanlan's probably three-deep at a brothel right now.
谁放那个色迷心窍的侏儒去单干这件事的？
Who let that sex-crazed gnome do this solo?
你 -再也别听我的了
Um, you? Never listen to me again.
就这样吧 我要做个了断 -你现在就进去？
That's it. I'm calling it. -You're just going in?
我们等的时间越长 被发现的风险就越大
The longer we wait, the more we risk being discovered.
大家听我枪响就开始冲 -我们不要轻率行事 珀西
On my shot, we move. -Let's not be rash, Percy.
天啊 他干成了！
Holy shit. He did it.
看起来他全力以赴了
And it looks like he went all-out.
对 他热衷于怪异的东西
Oh, yeah, he's into dat freaky stuff.
快过去 兄弟们！ -冲啊！
Move it, men! - [grunting]
很棒的计划 机械之声
Excellent plan, Vox Machina.
我们就是因为这个才出名的
I mean... that is what we're known for.
我去集结反抗军 你找到她时发个信♥号♥♥
I'll rally the rebels. When you have her, send a sign.
还有 珀西 你别把自己的命搭上了
And, Percy, try not to get yourself killed.
我昨天就已经死了 你记得吗？
I was dead yesterday, remember?
接下来都算是赚到的
Can only improve from here.
里面看起来是安全的
Looks clear inside.
等等 可能有陷阱
Hold on. There could be a trap.
不是什么东西都是陷阱 你个小心眼！
Not everything's a trap, you twit.
咱们就这么干吧！
Let's do this!
这是陷阱
It's a trap.
等等 求你了
Oh, wait. Please, please...
你还好吗 伙计？
You good, buddy?
天啊 他们这是要吃苦头了
Oh, man. They are fucked now.
- Come here!
安德斯
Anders.
你真以为你一个人就能打败我吗？
Did you honestly think you could best me by yourself?
恐怕你的表演到此为止了
I'm afraid this performance is over.
你又小又弱
You're weak. You're small.
在这个世界上这意味着你是输家
And in this world, that means you lose.
等等 这是真的
Wait, wait, wait. It's true.
我只会动嘴皮子
I'm all talk.
人人都以为我是个笑话
Everyone thinks I'm a joke.
但是妓院教会了我一件事 大小不要紧
But the brothels have taught me one thing: size doesn't matter.
活儿好就行
It's how you use it.
小混♥蛋♥
Fucking little cunt.