善地

The Good Place S04E01

Part 4 Nov. 19, 2019, 4:01 p.m.

是你啊
It's you?
德里克借你胆子你也不敢...
Okay, well, you certainly don't have the Dereks to...
爽
Yeah!
每次感觉都很爽
It's always good.
西蒙妮你这样想
You know what, Simone? Think of it this way.
如果这都是幻象
If this is really all a hallucination,
怎么会这么低端
doesn't it seem kind of basic?
你想象的情境
I mean, surely, your brain
肯定更光怪陆离远非一个鸡尾酒派对
would imagine something weirder than just a nice cocktail party?
你是说这种事吗
You mean like that?
全体注意德里克被谋杀了
Attention, I have been Dereked.
那可能是我的医生这都是我的幻觉
That's probably my doctor. This is all in my head.
我去吃一把刀试试看
I'm gonna go eat a knife.
全体注意我被谋杀了
Attention. Murder has been me.
让我缕清楚
Let me get this straight:
德里克用你的话说 "恶狠狠蹬了你"
Derek, quote, "Made mean eyes at you,"
于是你就跑到明迪家把他"杀"了
so you went to Mindy's house and murdered him?
没错他的眼神可凶狠了
Yeah, dog, but his eyes were really mean.
你们可能觉得是这样滴
You're probably thinking this...
但其实是这样滴
but they were more like this...
杰森你为什么把德里克"杀"了
Jason, why did you kill Derek?
我得在那几个人类发现之前
I had to get his giant head out of the sky
把他那个大头从天空屏中撤下很耗费功力哎
before any of the humans could see, and it was not easy.
我怕德里克不要脸 "给你发私信"
I was scared Derek was trying to slide into your DMs.
我讨厌害怕的感觉这让我很害怕
I hate being scared. It's-- it's scary.
没空跟你胡闹
I don't have time for this.
我负责一座社区管理所有居民
I am running a neighborhood and its residents,
埃莉诺圣旨一下我还得变个"爆米花河"出来
and Eleanor just casually orders me to make popcorn rivers,
而且布兰特还把我当服务生不停使唤我
and Brent won't stop calling me for stuff.
我们还是"男女非人类朋友"吗
Are we still boyfriend-not-a-girlfriend?
这事稍后再说
We'll talk about it later.
决策如下别管西蒙妮了
Okay, executive decision: forget about Simone.
珍妮特别让她跟其他三个人类接触
Janet, make sure she doesn't come in contact with the other humans.
来搞定琳达
Let's focus on Linda.
我们能琢磨明白她
We ought to be able to figure her out
只要让她兴奋起来就可以了
if we can just liven her up a bit.
就在她的薄荷糖里放点可♥卡♥因♥就行了
We'll just, like, sprinkle some cocaine on her peppermints or something.
"恶地"派来这么无聊的人就没人觉得可疑吗
Does anyone else find it suspicious that the Bad Place sent someone so dull?
没有说得通
No, it makes perfect sense to me.
他们想让我们抓狂
They are trying to drive us insane
于是派了一个无聊透顶的闷货过来
by giving us a big boring glob of plain yogurt.
明早我们就开始"破解琳达"
Tomorrow morning, we start Operation Linda.
老大发话了
Okay, you heard the lady.
我们明天一大清早在广场见
We'll meet in the town square bright and early.
-珍妮特安排"飞行日" -"遵命"
- Janet, set up for Flying Day.- Cool.
我这么"闲" 这种事"小菜一碟"
I'm not busy or anything, so that'll be easy.
可以飞了
Off you go.
琳达你在"善地"待得还好吧
Linda, how are you enjoying the Good Place?
很好
It's good.
大家都飞着玩
Everyone's flying.
你不想飞得再高一点吗
You don't want to go flying any higher?
不用了
No, thanks.
好吧
Well, okay.
档案上写着你喜欢针织
Says in your file that you like knitting.
你想现在织吗
Would you like to do some knitting right now?
不用了
No, thanks.
你现在还想玩点别的吗
Is there another activity you'd like to do now?
你还喜欢听鸟叫
You also enjoyed listening to birds.
天琳达你只听不看吗
Man, Linda, you don't even look at them?
我们去听鸟叫吧意下如何
Let's go hear some birds. What do you say?
我要再去吃一颗薄荷糖了
I'm gonna go get another peppermint.
别这样琳姨
Come on, Lins.
只要你想你做什么都可以
You can have literally anything you could poss--
搞什么
What the--
好吧
Okay, so...
她没我想象中那么没劲
Maybe she's less boring than I thought.
事情是这样吧肖恩
So let me get this straight, Shawn:
你派了一个恶魔伪装成人类混入善地了
you sent a demon in disguise as one of the subjects?
确实法官阁下
Yes, he did, Your Honor.
还好其他目标人类没看到他搞出的烂摊子
Luckily, none of the other test subjects saw the mess he made,
但他差点毁了整个试验
but he put the experiment at risk
他还打了我和埃莉诺
and he attacked me and Eleanor.
不好意思你上衣呢
And I'm sorry, where's your shirt?
应该是粘在皮囊上了
I think it got stuck in the skin suit.
那你就别穿了
Well, keep it there.
该死克里斯
Damn it, Chris,
你本该放慢节奏搞破坏
you were supposed to slowly undermine them
慢慢毁掉整个试验
and gradually sabotage the experiment,
而不是在第二天就"大闹善地" "飞毛哪吒"
not just go ham on day two, you fart plume.
我说过了我又不是个演员
I told you, I'm not an actor.
等你回来你什么都不是了
And when you get back here, you won't be anything.
行我承认了
Okay, fine, yes, busted.
我就是这么坏
I'm a rascal.
我们会把他带回来重新送个人类过去
We'll come pick him up and replace him with an actual human.
你可拉倒吧童鞋
You will do nothing of the sort, mon ami.
这种行为必须严惩
This outrageous act must be punished.
奇迪来做第四个目标人类
Chidi will be the fourth subject in this experiment.
不行不行
No, no, no, no, no, no.
他太合适了反正他的记忆都不在了
He's perfect because he's already had his memories erased.
翘臀倒是还在啊
Although you can't erase that booty,
秒懂吧金发妞儿
know what I'm saying, blondie?
法官阁下别这么骚气有失身份
All due respect, Your Honor, keep it in your robe.
她的意思是谢谢法官阁下我们接受
What she means is thank you, Your Honor, we accept.
奇迪将是第四个目标人类
Chidi's gonna be our fourth subject.
奇迪不能参与试验
Chidi can't be part of the experiment.
他们已知他能够提升自己了
They already know that he can improve.
这就像专门为考试备战
That's like studying for a test,
然后轻松考过一样
then acing the test.
这是作弊
It's cheating.
这怎么是作弊
How is that cheating?
你这是贼喊捉贼啊
You're just falsely accusing us of what you actually did.
你才贼喊捉贼
No, that's what you're doing.
肖恩没空跟你们耗
Shawn, I don't have time for this.
我总算有时间看《枯镇》了
I just started "Deadwood" finally--
我得去舔屏"蒂莫西·奥利芬特"[男主]了
and I need my daily dose of Timothy Olyphant,
所以长话短说
so I'm gonna make this short.
你若是再敢暗中破坏试验
If you so much as breathe on this experiment again,
我就重启整个试验
I will restart the entire thing from scratch,
我会亲自剥掉你的眼皮
and then I will personally rip off your eyelids
逼迫你看那种暖心视频
and make you watch heartwarming videos
军人返家与狗狗相拥
of soldiers coming home to their dogs.
慢点开
Slow down.
你故意在那边放垃圾桶就为了撞上吗
Did you put those trash cans there just so you could crash into them?
不是我的错我边开车边发短♥信♥呢
That wasn't my fault, I was texting.
放开他吧傻叉们
Okay, let him go, dung buckets.
想得美
Nice try.
我们会亲自押他上车把他拷在椅子上
We'll put him on the train and handcuff him to a bench.
狗改不了吃屎谁信你们不会再出幺蛾子
Yeah, forgive us if we don't trust you not to cheat again.
真没想到你看出琳达是伪装的恶魔
Surprised you figured out that Linda was a fake,
因为我们都以为你很蠢
because we all thought you were too stupid.
其实是塔哈妮起疑了
Well, it was actually Tahani who got suspicious.
你好没面子哦
That is so embarrassing for you.
看来你真不行啊
Seems like you're royally forking this up,
我们都猜到了
just like we knew you would.
你们走吧替我向肖恩带句话
Okay, take off, and give Shawn a message for me.
就说"暴击吧"
Tell him that we said, "Boo-yah!"
一定要加上手指动作
Make sure you do the hand motion.
这样说"暴击吧"
Like, "Boo-yah!"
你在听吗
Are you listening to me?
好了迈克尔
Okay, Michael.