善地

The Good Place S04E04

Part 2 Nov. 19, 2019, 4:01 p.m.

Here are pictures of Vicky wearing the Michael suit.
这算什么证据
This doesn't prove anything.
说不准你就是拿迈克尔的照片唬我们呢
These could just be pictures of the real Michael.
绝对不是"照骗"
They're real.
我很确定因为是我一手打造了"迈克尔皮"
I know because I helped make the suit.
这身皮无法容纳你的恶魔精髓
I couldn't figure out how to make it contain your demon essence,
所以你得穿着自己的皮再套上迈克尔的皮
so you'll have to wear it over the Vicky suit.
不是吧你这个废物格伦
Really? You're the worst, Glenn.
就这样吧披上吧
Let's do it. Zip her up.
好吧但我要是融化了
Okay, but if I melt,
薇琪一生气后果很严重喔
I am gonna be, like, so annoyed.
手工不错
Pretty well‐made.
浑身皱纹做得太逼真了
I can really feel all the musty skin folds, and‐‐
丁丁触感也很真实呢
and the dangly bits.
声音简直一模一样
The voice is perfect.
太像本尊了我都忍♥不住手痒要揍你了
You sound so much like him, I want to punch you.
这样做确定没问题吗
Are we sure it's okay that we made this?
有什么用途呢
I mean, what are you gonna use it for?
快别逼逼了格伦
What are you gonna use it‐‐ shut up, Glenn.
实验就要开始了
The experiment is about to begin.
把真迈克尔叫来吧
Let's call the real Michael
把那个粪球冲进下水道以泄后快
and send him spiraling down the toilet bowl like the pinched turd he is.
你一定在撒谎
Well, now, we know you're lying
因为迈克尔对我们知无不言
because Michael would've definitely told us
如果恶地联♥系♥了他
if the Bad Place had called him
他看过假皮后一定会告诉我们
and showed him some freakin' Michael suit.
没错那可不
Absolutely. Of course I would've.
珍妮特有电♥话♥记录
I mean, Janet would have phone records.
让她调记录一看便知
You could just ask her to pull them up.
好吧我确实撒谎了
Okay, fine. I lied.
-他们确实联♥系♥我了 -不是吧
- They called me. - What?
我对你们隐瞒了此事对不起
I lied about that. And I'm sorry.
你早就知情吗
You knew about this?
对但我有充分的理由
Yes, yes, but there's‐‐ there's a good explanation.
理由就是你就是薇琪
Yeah, the explanation is that's Vicky,
她一直在对你撒谎
and she's lying to you about everything.
联♥系♥法官我们彻底解决此事
Call The Judge and we'll settle this once and for all.
这样就正中你下怀吧
Or is that exactly what you wanted us to do?
确实啊
That is what I want you to do.
我早看透你了
Exactly.
埃莉诺要不还是联♥系♥法官吧
Eleanor, perhaps we should call The Judge.
格伦说的是实话
Glenn was telling the truth.
不法官说过要是出了岔子
No, The Judge said if anything else went wrong,
她就重启整个实验
she would reset the whole experiment.
除非别无选择不然不能联♥系♥她
We are not calling her unless we have no other choice,
我要把你们两混球单独关押
and I am locking you two jamokes in separate rooms
静待我们查清♥真♥♥相♥
until we get to the bottom of this.
怎么能这样呢太气人了
I'm very upset about this development.
讲真我不是在演戏
I'm serious, man. This is happening.
怎么会发展到这种地步呢
I'm very upset about this development.
烦人精们怎么办啊
*All right, buttheads, what do we do?
我们得相信迈克尔他可是我们的朋友
I say we trust Michael. He's our friend.
慢着他可能是我们的朋友
Wait, might be our friend,
但也有可能是披着迈克尔皮的恶魔啊
or he might be a lying trickster who just looks like our friend‐‐
外形相仿傻傻分不清啊
the classic Mary‐Kate Olsen.
不得不说
I have to say,
我们最近事事不顺心
we've had a lot of misfires recently,
迈克尔的行迹确实可疑
and Michael has been acting suspiciously.
就像今晚我想集思广益
Like tonight, when I wanted to work,
他却提议办睡衣趴
and he just wanted to have a slumber party instead?
替迈克尔说句公道话睡衣趴实在无法抗拒啊
To be fair to Mike, slumber parties rule.
我们为何要信格伦呢
And why would we trust Glenn?
-他是个恶魔 -迈克尔也是啊
- He's a demon. - So is Michael.
-恶魔也有好坏之分 -好吧
- Demons can be good. - Right.
那就这么愉快地决定了
Okay. So it's decided.
俩人都可信
We trust both of them.
行吧
Okay.
一如既往地不靠谱
Predictably, this was unhelpful.
进去
Get in there.
这都是些什么啊
What is all this stuff?
某种武器吗
Are these weapons?
别碰
Don't touch those.
那是我的特制磁铁手铐
Those are my special magnet handcuffs.
我和明迪颠鸾倒凤时
They make me feel silly
能令我嗨到目眩
when Mindy and I are playing Upstairs‐downstairs Derek.
性♥爱♥玩具啊
They're sex toys.
好脏
They're sex toys.
你快走吧我们已经够头疼了
Dude, get out of here. We have enough problems.
好兄弟我们握手言和吧
My good man, allow me to bury the hatchet.
重启多次我已经长进了
Being rebooted again has evolved me
不会再打翻醋坛子了
past any feelings of jealousy.
熟悉的声音
I know that sound.
那是我的性♥爱♥尿布
Looks like someone found my sex diaper.
你们好好享受吧我先撤了
I'll leave you guys alone to live that dipe life.
自辩清白吧
Okay, explain yourself‐‐
前提是你真的是你
if yourself even is yourself.
我真是迈克尔
I am Michael.
肖恩确实联♥系♥我了我也看到假迈克尔皮了
Shawn did call me, and I saw the Michael suit.
他说如果实验失败
He said if the experiment failed,
他就让人披上假皮折磨你们
he was gonna use it to make you think I was torturing you.
你之前怎么不说呢
Why didn't you tell us?
因为他说会抹除我告诉你们真♥相♥的记忆
Because he said he would just erase your memories of me telling you,
所以我说不说就不重要了
so it wouldn't matter anyway.
他心里清楚我一定会精神崩溃
He knew that I would crumble under the pressure.
但一个月前你跟我说只是假装崩溃
But a month ago, you told me you only pretended to freak out
目的是为了让我站出来带领大家
in order to get me to step up and become a leader.
对那事我也撒谎了
Yes, that also was a lie,
但当时也是见机行事
but it was an inspirational one.
就像偶遇熟人打招呼
Like, "So great running into you.
假意约咖啡一样
We should get coffee some time,"
大家发♥票♥圈不也这样吗
or all of Instagram.
捋一下你早知恶地打造了假迈克尔皮
So to recap, you found out the Bad Place made a Michael suit,
明明吓慌了却不肯告诉我们真♥相♥
freaked out, didn't tell us why,
之后又骗我是假装吓慌了
and then later, you lied to me about why you freaked out?
几分钟前还撒了一个谎
And then you lied again just a few minutes ago
骗我们肖恩从没联♥系♥过你
when you said that you never got a call from Shawn.
对但都是为了圆谎嘛
Yes, but that lie was only to cover my two earlier lies.
很顺理成章吧
I mean, that's gotta be okay, right?
你还理直气壮了
What?
埃莉诺你还不明白吗
Eleanor, don't you see what they're doing?
肖恩派格伦来挑拨离间
Shawn sent Glenn to undermine our trust in each other
这样你就会联♥系♥法官重启实验
so you'll call The Judge and restart the experiment.
我没理由不信你
Well, I have no reason not to believe you,
可毕竟我们发现你连撒三个谎
other than the three very recent examples we just laid out.
出来商量一下
Huddle. Now.
抱歉
Sorry.
我就来拿个东西为爱鼓掌必不可少啊
I just needed to grab this. You know, it's chime time.
肯定有办法鉴别迈克尔的真伪
There's gotta be a way to figure out if that's the real Michael.
你能不能变一个恶魔测谎仪啊
Is there a way you can make some sort of demon lie detector?
不好说
I don't know.
造人耗费了我太多能力
The Janet babies are still draining me,
刚刚还制♥服♥了从画里跳出来的小野马黛西
and I just had to put down Daisy the horse blob,
简直身心疲惫啊
which was exhausting‐‐ emotionally and physically.
黛西拼命挣扎呀我就不说出来吓你们了
She fought back. I won't get into details.
我不得不拧下马头抱歉没控制住
I had to twist her head off. Sorry.
不多说了
No more details.
黛西血溅三尺还在拼命扭动呢
She did thrash. She thrashed.
-抱歉 -行了
- Sorry. - Okay,
要不把他灌醉问个清楚吧
why don't we just get him drunk so he starts blabbing?
猪尿得配什么酒啊
I mean, what goes best with pig urine?
-椰子朗姆酒 -这招对恶魔不管用