善地

The Good Place S04E10

Part 4 Feb. 23, 2020, 9:02 a.m.

stays with you like...
就像脑中的一个声音
like a little voice in your head,
帮助你成为更好版本的自己
helping you become a better version of yourself.
我懂了多谢解释
Okay, that helps. Thank you.
我们觉得给足够机会
So our guess is that with enough chances,
人们最终会向善提升自己达到善地标准
people will eventually make enough good choices to qualify for the Good Place,
也许一些人不会
and maybe some never will,
但没关系因为这样大家都有争取的机会了
but that's okay because everyone gets a fair shot.
暂且打住
Hold the phone.
恶魔这个时候都干什么呢
What are my demons doing this whole time?
我手下那几百万的火山岩恶魔要失业了
I have millions of lava monsters down there who will be out of a job.
我问你他们要往谁嘴里灌火山岩呢
I ask you, into whose throats are they supposed to pour lava?
坏消息是不再有灌火山岩或压平小鸡鸡这种事了
Well, bad news is no more throat lava or penis flattenings.
那怎么对付他们的小鸡鸡呢
Then what are we doing to their penises?
基本上就是什么都不做
Well, largely, ignoring them.
这是人话吗我幻听了吗
You guys are hearing this. I'm not crazy, right?
你这样想也无可厚非
No, I mean, it's a fair question.
你站在哪一边啊
Whose side are you on, man?
我只是个局外人而已妹子
I don't have a dog in this fight, little lady.
我就是觉得弄清楚比较好
I'm just looking for clarity.
肖恩你们没失业
Shawn, you'll all still have jobs.
恶地设计师协助设计考验情境
Bad place architects help design the test.
基层恶魔都当"演员"
Rank and file demons, they'll play-role
就像之前"善地"那个套路
just like they did in my original Neighborhood.
你记得你演"法官"演得多尽兴吧
And remember how much fun you had playing the Judge?
说不好你们觉得可行吗
I don't know, guys. You think this will work?
已经有效果了
It sort of already has.
奇迪的意识里瞬间闪现了八百个版本自己
Chidi just had 800 versions of himself stuffed into his soul at the same time.
他蜕变了他比以前潇洒太多了
I mean, he's a new man. He's way cooler now.
我也喜欢以前的奇迪但没像现在这么喜欢
I like the old version, too, but not as much.
不仅是奇迪法官大人
It's not just Chidi, your honor.
我一开始在迈克尔的第一个"善地"时
When I started in Michael's first Neighborhood,
我只是个人型"掌上电脑"
I was nothing more than a PalmPilot in a cool vest.
看我现在进化多大
But look at me now.
我可以让四个人进入我的"虚空"
I can hold four humans in my void,
还能随手变出一个蒂莫西·奥利芬特
and conjure Timothy Olyphant in the blink of an eye.
重启无数次让我进化成一个更完善的"非人类"了
Getting rebooted over and over made me a better not-a-person than I've ever been.
人类也该有这样一个机会
Humans should get the same opportunity.
你的意见呢
Well?
小爷就不要
Pass.
还以为你们能说动他呢
Well, guys, I really thought you had it.
见到你真让我心花怒放大帅哥
It has been a genuine pleasure, sweetie.
♪要灭掉人间♪
♪Gonna erase the Earth♪
♪灭掉人间♪
♪ Erase the Earth♪
我尽量把控制器藏得很远了
I hid the clicker as far away as possible,
但拖不了多久了
but we are seconds away.
我也没招了抱歉
I'm so sorry, guys.
肖恩去哪了
Where did Shawn go?
别浪费口舌了他就只会唱反调
Don't bother. He's just toying with us.
我知道所以还有得救
I know. That's what gives me hope.
一切灰飞烟灭之前必须来一泡啊
Had to do it one last time before all this goes away for good.
你这回想怎么求我呢
So what are you offering me now?
不求了结束了这是我们最后一招
Nothing. It's over. That was our last idea.
这就好你的宝贝人类很快就会化为尘埃了
Good. Soon, all your precious humans will be gone.
是啊太糟心了
Yeah. It's too bad.
恭喜你你赢了
Well, congrats, bud. You won.
十亿年后再见
See you in a billion years.
等人类再进化
When the humans evolve again,
我会完虐你你个叛徒
I'll be right back at your throat, you traitor.
我知道
I mean, yeah, I know.
所以我才说"十亿年后见"
That's why I said, "See you in a billion years."
等下
Wait.
我要发表恶言了
I'm gonna do the evil speech now.
想说就说吧
If you want.
自开天辟地以来
Since the dawn of time,
善恶进了一场激战基于...
good and evil have waged a furious battle, stemming from--
你不还击就没意思了
this feels stupid if you're not gonna fight back.
你怎么不想新对策呢
How do you not have another plan?
你总是有新招数
You've always had another plan.
怎么了肖恩
What's wrong, Shawn?
好吧
Okay, fine.
承认就承认吧
Gonna make me admit it.
跟你对着干是我活着的最大乐趣
Fighting you is the most fun I've ever had.
你也清楚
I mean, you know.
第一次捣人眼球
You corkscrew your first eyeball,
你觉得很兴奋竟然有这种美差
and you're like, man, I can't believe they're paying me to do this.
一万亿次以后就会觉得
By the trillionth, it's like...
当个老师都比这事有趣啊
I should've just been a teacher.
后来你换队友跟那几个人类抱团了
And then you go and get the warm fuzzies about your little humans, and something...
情况变了
something changed.
我活着又有乐趣了
I was having fun again.
我不想就这么结束
I'm not sure I'm ready for that to end.
我知道结束总让人难过
I know, buddy. It's hard when things end.
但不论如何这都结束了
But one way or the other, this is over.
唯一的问题是
The only question is...
接下来是什么呢
what's next?
我听到你上次在恶魔展的演讲了
I heard your speech at Demon-Con.
你知道体制有问题
You know this system stinks.
如果一切正常你也不会让我搞"善地"计划
You wouldn't have let me try the original experiment if things were working.
我们一起携手打造新体制吧
Let's try a new way... together.
终于可以开始了
Okay, finally.
最后一次作为死后世界的法官
For the last time, I, the Judge of the afterlife--
等一下法官阁下
Hang on, your honor.
你这是要逼死我吗
Are you kidding me?
老娘就想一次灭掉人类
Can't a gal just end all of humanity one time
怎么老是给我添堵啊
without everyone getting all up on her junk?
又怎么了
What is it, man?
肖恩同意了我们的提议
Shawn has agreed to our proposal.
真的假的啊
Wait, seriously?
大体上同意
In principle, yes.
还要"掏"论一些细节
Still some kinks to work in--
-讨论 -讨论
- Out. - Out.
抱歉唱反调成习惯了
Sorry. Old habits.
但应该能达成一致
But I think we can find a way to make it work.
瞧我露一手
Guys, watch this.
对不起
Sorry.
大惊小怪
Jeez.
好吧
Okay, well,
假设根据这个计划打造一个新体制
assuming we are redesigning the entire afterlife according to this plan...
第一步该做什么呢
what do we do first?
别看我啊
Don't look at me. I'm...
我只负责总设想
I'm just the idea guy.