善地

The Good Place S04E07

Part 1 Nov. 19, 2019, 4:01 p.m.

你在"死后世界"即将度过一年之时
As you reach the end of your first year in the afterlife,
你最难忘什么呢
what do you remember most?
天长地久的友谊
The everlasting friendships you made?
齐心协力度过的难关
The adversity you overcame together?
"巧克力节日"
The day everything was chocolate?
那天最开心了
That day was awesome.
我拿到了一个里斯巧克力杯
I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
完全由巧克力制成
It was all chocolate.
这一年还有几个小时就结束了
You only have a few hours left in your first year,
不如赶在午夜之前尽全力做善事
so why not do as many amazing good deeds for other people
以免"好人积分"没攒够
as you possibly can by midnight just in case?
我知道我说漏嘴了这段删掉
I know. I know. All right, I'll take it out.
我有点心力交瘁求放过
I'm a little tired, okay? Lay off.
这一段视频掐掉埃莉诺说漏嘴那段
That movie, minus the part where Eleanor gives away the entire experiment,
将会在今晚年会上放映
will play before the party tonight.
说起来
Speaking of which,
今晚年会出题是"一年已过余生无止境"
the theme is "One Year Down, Infinity to Go."
着装要求伦敦正统晚礼服
Dress is London black tie.
"骑士桥"奢华风而非"肯辛顿"乡土风
That means Knightsbridge black tie, not Kensington
也绝不是"西布朗普顿"土鳖风
or, heaven forbid, West Brompton.
你能想象多不上档次吗
Can you imagine?
想象不出来
No.
还有午夜过后
Also, just after midnight,
为了重启处理功能
in order to reset my processing power,
我会残忍♥地"吃掉"珍妮特的"人类宝宝"
I will be violently eating my Janet babies.
警告大家都别盯着我看
I'd advise no one look directly at me.
了解
Copy that.
今晚年会上
So tonight at the party,
我们会再来一轮加分项目
we're gonna go for one more point grab.
我会让他们相互敬酒
I'm gonna suggest that they make toasts about each other,
庆祝这一年的生活经历展示个人成长
celebrate their ups and downs, demonstrate personal growth,
大家感动落泪人类最终被拯救
blah, blah, blah, humanity is saved.
再坚持一天让我们盛大收官
One more day, guys. Let's finish strong.
为此你们可能知道
And to that end, as you might know,
我一直在练习人类魔术
I've been practicing human magic.
惊不惊喜
Ta-da.
拽啊
Dope.
我在想
So I was thinking--
不行你不能扮"魔术大♥师♥"今晚登台
No, the Magnificent Dr. Presto is not performing tonight.
-商量一下 -老大魔术很不上档次
- Come on, I-- - Dude, magic is always lame.
这里充满魔法 "魔术"就更逊一筹了
But it's especially lame here, where there's actual magic.
容我露一手你掏一下口袋
As a counterargument, check your pocket.
另一个
The other one.
哎呀呀抱歉
Shoot, sorry.
是在我口袋里
It's my pocket.
-惊不惊喜 -拽啊
- Ta-da. - Dope.
行你可以登台
You know what? You can perform.
-真的吗 -对
- Really? - Yeah.
你这一招"掏口袋"惊爆了我的脑回路
You changed my mind with that pocket thing.
本人甚是欣喜
Boffo.
-你故意逗我玩 -对
- You're being mean. - Yep.
我很期待今晚年会
I am very excited for tonight.
大家盛装之下尽显华美啊
And dare I say, you all look so splendid,
风采不输"纽约大都会慈善晚宴"红毯秀
you could work the coat check at the Met Gala.
说起"纽约大都会慈善晚宴"
Speaking of the Met Gala,
记得那段录像吗
remember that security cam footage
索兰格在电梯里暴打Jay-Z
of Solange and Jay-Z fighting in the elevator?
索兰格是碧昂斯妹妹 2014年曾在电梯里对Jay-Z动手 Jay-Z没还手碧昂斯全程未阻止事件至今成谜
我学了唇语
I learned to read lips.
原来她当时大吵
Turns out, she was yelling,
"凭什么啊我本来想按电梯楼层"
"No fair, I wanted to be the one to push the button."
没大家猜得那么狗血
So, yeah, it wasn't as juicy as some people maybe thought it was.
小伙伴们
Gang.
我今天表现特别好最好先把门关上
Had a pretty good round today. Better close this door.
我可不想那些鸟儿跟我来这里了
I don't want all those birdies to follow me in here.
我怎么得罪你了
Why?
布兰特赶紧换衣服我们要去年会
Okay, Brent, hurry up and change so we can get to the party.
对等一下
Right, hang on.
珍妮特给了我这个
Janet gave me this.
罐装燕尾服
Tuxedo in a can.
我本来差点就想炒掉她了
You know, I came this close to firing Janet,
但她长进不少
but she's gotten a lot better.
我们还不能走
Okay, we're not leaving yet.
我们要给你们看些东西
I need to show you all something.
这是我几个月的观察结果
This is the result of months of observation.
你们肯定都觉得我疯了
Now, I know you're gonna think I'm crazy.
这还用问吗
No, why would we think that?
但这个地方有问题
But there is something wrong with this neighborhood.
跟这间屋里的人有关系
And it involves the people in this room.
太不安了整场戏就要结束了
So crazy that we're at the end of this thing
离实验结束还有
我们却不知表现如何
and we have no idea how we did.
珍妮特你能进入那个"方尖碑"偷看一眼吗
Janet, any chance you could get a look inside that obelisk?
看下目前得分情况
Check that magic scoreboard?
我可以一试
There is a chance, yes.
成功几率为970万亿之一
About 1 in 970 trillion.
我来放手一试
Let's give her a whirl.
没成功
It did not work.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
整体上感觉不错
I feel okay about most of it,
但布兰特的进步表现得再明显一点就好了
but I just wish we had one concrete sign that Brent has improved.
比如他不小心撞了别人然后真诚地说
One moment where he bumps into someone and sincerely says,
"抱歉啊"
"Oops, my bad." You know?
就一句"抱歉" 别无所求
I would kill for an "Oops, my bad."
我愿历劫八十一难来换一句"抱歉"啊
Who's a girl gotta fork to get an "Oops, my bad"?
关键时刻崩溃这明明是我的戏路
Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kind of my move.
-你别跟我抢戏 -我不会
- Don't fall apart on me, now. - I won't.
只是你了解我
It's just-- you know me.
我生前向来不打无把握的仗
On Earth, I never played a game unless I knew I could either win
再不然就是以贿赂作弊取胜
or bribe the ref so he'd throw it for me.
如果我们失败了我会暴怒
And if we lose, I'm gonna be so mad.
再撑一天
Just one more day.
我们按计划进行不要节外生枝
We're gonna stick to the plan, not do anything radical.
但我们可以展示一下
Though we could do something...
魔术魅力
Magical.
你退出魔术这一行吧
You gotta let it go, man.
她说得没错
She's right.
我第一天就怀疑这里有古怪
I've been suspicious about this place since day one.
过去几个月我一直收集资料
Over the last few months, I've been collecting data,
我现在肯定这里面有问题
and now I am positive, something is truly forked up.
你怎么没告诉我 "麦芬宝"
You didn't tell me about any of this, muffin.
你管她叫"麦芬宝"
Okay, you call her muffin?
官宣的节奏啊我脑内弹幕成千上万
I'm getting a lot of breaking news at once here.
我当时在收集证据
I was gathering evidence.
我不想影响数据收集的准确性
I didn't wanna compromise the integrity of the data collection.
"真浪漫"
So romantic.
我目前只知
Here's what I know.
埃莉诺和迈克尔心怀叵测
Eleanor and Michael are up to something,
目标就是我们
and it's focused on us.
这里一共有三百个人
I mean, there are, like, 300 people in the neighborhood,
而他们把全部时间
and somehow they just spend all of their time
都放在我们六个人身上了
talking to the six people in this room.
不然他们在谁身上花心思
Well, I mean, who else are they gonna talk to?
"破短裤"凯西
Dumb Shorts Cathy?
她怎么得罪你了
What is your problem with her?
"短"裤 "凯西"[大屌♥]I mean, shorts? "Cathy"?
她这不是逼着我吐槽吗
What isn't my problem with her?
建宇你没事吧你满头大汗
Jianyu, are you okay? You look sweaty.
没事他没事
No. He's fine.
他一冥想就会出汗
He always sweats when he's meditating.
他称之为"汗水冥想"
He calls it "Sweat-itating."
不是他都不说话我这么称呼