善地

The Good Place S04E03

Part 2 Nov. 19, 2019, 4:01 p.m.

讨厌他瞧不起她不再粉她们取消DG了
Hate him, loathe her, over them, cancel it,
快爆猛料
tell me everything.
斯嘉丽·约翰逊的特技都是娜塔莉·波特曼完成的吗
So Natalie Portman does all of Scarlett Johansson's stunts?
-为何这么想不开 -为了一姐地位啊
- Why? - For the power.
为了显示她有这个能力
Just to say she can.
说得也是
Sure, I get that.
-塔哈妮我感觉特别好谢谢 -不客气
- Tahani, I feel amazing. Thank you. - You're quite welcome!
你知道怎么让自己更加焕发光彩吗
You know what would give you an even more luminous glow?
人间盛行一种内心治愈疗法
There was this sort of inner treatment that was all the rage on Earth,
学习道德伦理
the study of ethics.
想成是"清肠" 但洗净的是灵魂
Think of it as a colonic, but for your soul!
这里有一个哲学教授奇迪·阿纳贡耶
Our resident philosopher Chidi Anagonye
在他家开设了一个道德学堂
leads an ethics study group in his apartment.
我们一起去听听如何
What do you say you and I sit in?
我愿意用自己在天堂的时光去听哲学课吗
Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class?
算了吧
No.
你自己去疯吧妹子回见
You stay crazy, girl! Bye.
-野餐怎么样 -特别棒
- So how was the picnic? - Amazing.
到处都蚂蚁但这些蚂蚁真给力啊
I mean, there were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful.
一直来回给我们搬酒
They carried our wine glasses back and forth
还帮我们折餐巾
and they folded our napkins for us.
太讨人喜欢了
They were so cute.
你还没见识它们的"开夜床服务"呢
Wait till you see the otters who do our turn-down service.
一种星级服务拉起窗帘把灯光调暗摆好脱鞋和铺好棉被
准备热茶点上香氛等营造出适合睡眠的环境
你认识这个和尚建宇吧
Listen, you might know Jianyu, the monk?
他想参加你的哲学课堂
He wants to join your philosophy study group.
行啊我们可以再搞起学堂
Sure, we can get that up and running again.
一起探讨一下老子和孔子
Maybe discuss some Lao Tzu and Confucius.
太有意思了一切都如此惬意
Fun! Everything is so fun.
很好就一件事
Perfect. Just one thing.
他一直没能适应这里
So he's been having kind of a hard time adjusting here.
显然和尚都不擅社交
Apparently monks aren't the most social creatures.
答应我你会尽全力帮助他
So just promise me you'll help him no matter what.
埃莉诺我发誓我会把建宇当成亲兄弟一样照顾
Eleanor, I swear to you I will look after Jianyu as if he is my own brother.
你如此君子之风厚德载物
I mean, a promise from a strict Kantian like yourself
必定一言既出驷马难追
is just about the most ironclad agreement in the universe.
好了
Okay.
-再见 -再见
- Bye-bye. - Bye.
建宇你想来点...
So, Jianyu, would you like some--
你先别说话我不是佛教♥徒♥
Yo, shut up for a sec. I'm not a Buddhist monk.
我真名叫杰森·门多萨
My name is Jason Mendoza.
我是个来自弗罗里达的DJ 我不该来"善地"
I'm a DJ from Florida, and I'm not supposed to be here.
你得帮帮我啊哥
You gotta help me out, homie.
人家好怕
I'm scared.
茶我本想问你要不要来点茶
Tea. I was gonna offer you some tea.
一周以后
哥多亏你我的梦想成真了
Dude, thanks to you, my dream came true.
我又有新的"男人洞"了
I have a shiny new butthole.
-你没事吧哥 -有事
- You okay, homie? - No!
我胃抽筋都一周了
I've had a stomach ache for a week.
你多次险些穿帮
There have been way too many close calls.
求你了别再吃肉丸潜水艇三明治了
Please, I beg you, no more meatball subs.
也别在地上画大胸了
No more drawing boobs in the dirt.
我没法为你圆谎
I cannot lie to cover for you.
你得记住自己的和尚身份啊
Please remember you're supposed to be a monk.
埃莉诺和迈克尔来了
Eleanor and Michael are here.
好惊喜好意外
What a fun surprise.
你把家重装了啊
You've done some redecorating.
我家确实装♥修♥了
Yes, my apartment was decorated in one way,
现在又重装了一下
and now it has been... redecorated.
建宇怎么样了
And how's Jianyu?
你了解和尚啦
I mean, you know how monks are.
心如止水毫无杂念不会一口气干掉奶酪
Calm, peaceful, never, you know, shotgunning Cheez Whiz.
世上有哪个和尚会这么干没有啊
I mean, what monk would do that? No monk!
话说你们怎么还没走
Anyway... I see you guys are still here.
我们就是来找你帮个忙
We were just dropping by to ask a favor.
你能陪建宇来今晚的"夏威夷宴会"吗
Can you accompany Jianyu to the luau tonight?
他还是不怎么跟人交往
He still isn't really engaging with the Neighborhood,
希望你能帮他不再这么腼腆
and we were hoping you could help him break out of his shell.
我好像去不了
Actually, I don't think I can make it.
为什么啊
Why not?
我刚想起来
I just remembered.
我又能去了到时见再见
I can make it, so I will see you there. Okay, bye.
约翰怎么还没有任何进步
I don't understand why John hasn't made more progress.
你花了那么多心思哄他开心
You've done so much to make him feel special.
就是说啊我重现了卢浮宫的私人之旅
I know. I recreated the private tour of the Louvre
可以触碰所有艺术品的
where they let you touch all the art.
一起在水中驾着"水行侠"畅游
We rode Aquamans through the water.
做了那么多美容护理
I got so many beauty treatments
我都怕自己头发的光泽闪瞎众人眼
I fear my hair may be too shiny and lustrous.
我们最近关系不错
We've been getting on quite well,
但只要我一提到完善自我就会吃闭门羹
but every time I bring up self-improvement, he just shuts me down.
我好久没被拒这么多次了
I haven't encountered this much resistance
上次还是劝"甜茶"多出来晒太阳结果各种遭拒
since I tried to get Timothée Chalamet to go out into the sun.
我又看了一下约翰的档案
You know, I looked at John's files again.
他不是个怕羞的人
He was hardly a shrinking violet.
你觉得他需要帮助就直接告诉他
If you think he needs help, maybe you should just tell him directly.
也许你说得对
Perhaps you're right.
我该主动出击
I shall go on the attack,
就像《权游》中八个以我为原型的六个角色那样行事
just like six of the eight "Game of Thrones" characters who were based on me would do.
没错
Yeah.
你和奇迪进展如何了
So how are things going with Chidi?
超级简单
Super easy.
我只要做自己就行了他动不动就抓狂
All I have to do is be myself, and he's constantly freaking out.
你确实有让人抓狂的本事
You have that effect on people, bud.
还能怎么给他找麻烦
What else can we do to mess up his life?
听着埃妹
Listen, E-dog,
我知道一般没人会找我出主意听我的话
I know people don't look to me for plans or ideas or anything,
但这次还是见好就收吧
but maybe we should ease off.
他已经焦虑不安了
He's pretty stressed already.
拜托他还没吓到抽筋哭爹喊娘呢
Please. He's not even dry-heaving yet.
他今天吃了多少抗胃酸钙片
How many Tums did he take today?
-20片 -这算啥啊
- Like 20. - That's nothing.
等他吃掉一整瓶才能罢手
We don't stop until it's a whole bottle.
因为他越焦灼难安
Because the more miserable he is,
他就会教你更多
the more he's going to teach you,
然后教育大家拯救全人类
and then everyone, and then he'll save humanity.
他就像是一紧张就闹肚子的"超人"
He's like Superman with nervous diarrhea.
准备好我马上要发表讲话了
Get ready. I'm gonna make that speech soon.
妹子
Hey, girl.
想明天一起去水疗吗
Want to hit up the spa tomorrow?
我想试一次"小美人鱼"疗法
I want to try that new "Little Mermaid" treatment,
他们会拿走你的声音
the one where they remove your vocal chords
让你换来迷人双腿
and it somehow makes your legs look amazing.
看情况吧但我要跟你说一件严肃的事
Perhaps, but I was hoping to bend your ear on a more serious matter.
你以前写的八卦博文
The things you used to write,
老实说很伤人
frankly... were hurtful.
瞎说举个例子
What? Name one.
我长胖了五磅
I gained five pounds,
你称我为"塔胖妮·阿加米饭"
and you called me Ta-Hammy All-the-Meals.
这多文艺啊
I mean, that's just poetry.
你一张毒舌将丹尼尔·戴·刘易斯送上西天他都息影了
Well, you were so mean to Daniel Day-Lewis, he quit acting.
三界奥斯卡影帝
不好意思了
I'm sorry,
他是演了一个自以为穿靴型牛仔裤可以很帅的角色吗
was he living in character as a man who thought he could pull off boot-cut jeans?
我看出你的套路了
You know what? I see what this is.
你一直对我虚情假意
This has been a fake friendship.
这一周只是你捉弄我的把戏最后将我暴击
This whole week has just been a wind-up to a sucker-punch.
才不是
No, it hasn't.
我只是想让你知道你的营销号♥伤害了别人
I just want you to recognize that your blog hurt people.
你可以在这里改过自新
And you have a chance to be better here.