大门奖（2023）

(芙蕾雅健身教室 芙蕾雅普莱斯)
芙蕾雅吗
Freya?
是 你好 我是方泰恩市长
Yes, hello. This is Mayor Fontaine.
是这样 我知道我们约好了这周末见面
Listen, I know we're scheduled to meet at the end of the week.
但是 我临时有些事
But something just opened up in my schedule,
不知道你愿不愿意今天一起吃午餐
and I was just wondering if you'd like to meet for lunch today.
好的 我把详情发给你 晚点见
Well, good. I'll text you the details. See you soon.
好的 这一栏是我转卖♥♥网购的东西时
Okay. So, this column is all the money I made back
赚回的钱
from selling my online purchases.
这是我在后院售卖♥♥会上卖♥♥掉的帕尼尼机
These are the panini presses that I sold at the garage sale,
这些是我在网上卖♥♥掉的帕尼尼机
and then these are the panini presses I sold online.
你买♥♥了多少部帕尼尼机啊
How many panini presses did you buy?
很多
Well... a lot.
迈克离开后 我失去了理智
I really wasn't thinking clearly after Mikey left.
其实我都不喜欢吃帕尼尼
I mean, I don't even like paninis.
三文治就应该是冷的 就这么回事
Sandwiches should be cold, and that's that.
嘿 别担心 娜塔莉
Hey, it's all good, Natalie.
我们会帮你走出债务困境
We're gonna get you out from under this debt.
我真不想说这话
Well, I hate to say it
但我们可以向房♥客收租金 来赚一些外快
but we could make some money by charging rent to our houseguest.
嘿 我主动提过要给租金的
Hey, I offered to pay.
是的 而我绝不会向我的铁哥们收租金
Yeah, and I say no way to charging rent to my best bro.
而且我喜欢一大早就听到 老达踢踢踏踏的脚步声
Besides, I love hearing the pitter-patter of Big D's footsteps in the morning.
好吧 首先 我不会“踢踢踏踏”
Okay. Well, first of all, I don't pitter-patter.
我的步伐坚实有力
My feet are heavy and strong.
其次 我只是临时住在这里 两位
Second of all, this is just temporary, folks.
几周后我就回家了 所以你们别太习惯我的存在了
Just a couple of weeks until I go home. So, don't get too comfortable.
嘿 如果今天有人去买♥♥杂货 能不能在清单上也加上
Hey, and if someone does a shop today, would you mind putting on the list
那些迷你米糕
those mini rice cakes?
卡丝总是会买♥♥海盐味的
Cass always gets the one with the sea salt.
没问题 老达
You got it, D.
天啊 不得不说 你和卡丝最初说
Man, I gotta say, when you and Cass first said
要进行自探时
that you were doing the self-ploration,
我觉得真是个糟糕的错误 - 糟糕的错误
I thought it was a terrible mistake. - A terrible mistake.
对 我们就此事聊过很多
Yeah, we talked about that a lot.
对 但现在你和我一起生活 卡丝又开始为我工作
Yeah. But now that you're living with me and Cass is working for me,
我看到了好的一面
I'm really starting to see the upside.
卡丝为你工作
Cass is working for you?
对 哥们 她今天开始在乔吉奥餐厅上班 加入家族生意
Yeah, bro. She starts at Giorgio's today. Keeping it in the familia.
嘿 但你别担心 老达 你也有进步
Hey, but don't worry, Big D. You're making strides too.
个人而言 我做不到你在做的事
Personally, I could never do what you're doing.
谢谢
Well, thank you.
将老婆抛弃在家
Abandoning your wife at home.
你的女儿都不再和你说话了
Your own daughter's not even talking to you anymore.
嘿 她和我说话的 我们有说话
Hey, she's talking to me. We talk.
真的吗 小萨 你不是说 翠娜拒绝和老达说话了
Really? Sav, I thought you said Trina was giving D the silent treatment.
对
She is.
好吧 沟通确实不如从前多了
Okay. Well, maybe the communication has decreased a little bit
自从我搬出去后
since I moved out.
但相信我 我对翠娜的生活仍了如指掌
But believe me, I'm still totally on top of Trina's life.
宝贝 她还在接你一起去上学吗
Is she still picking you up, honey?
那就好
Okay, good.
用什么接你 开车吗 不...不会的
Picking you up in what? A car? No. No, I don't think so.
不 翠娜保证说她不会开车载人
No. Trina promised she wouldn't drive anyone anywhere
直到通过驾驶考试
until she passes her driving test.
她上周通过考试了 - 这样啊
She passed it last week. - Did she now?
真好
Great.
老达 孩子们一眨眼就长大了啊
They grow up so fast, right, Big D?
时间老人不等人啊
Father Time, she's always flowing.
好的 来拿午餐吧 - 谢谢你 乔吉奥
Okay. Come get your lunches. - Thanks, Giorgio.
谢谢你 乔吉奥
Thank you, Giorgio.
好好学习 好好教书
Go learn something. Go teach something.
嘿 老达 你整理床铺了吗
Hey, D, did you make your bed?
那是水床 很难整理
It's a waterbed. It's hard to make it.
沃特...
Walter. Walter.
在地上
Down here.
怎...
Wha--
怎么回事
What in God's name?
这是某种性癖好吗 你连门都没锁
Is this some sort of sex thing? You haven't even locked the door.
我在练习魔术戏法
I'm practicing a magic trick.
只是还没练好脱身的部分
I just haven't figured out the escape part yet.
沃特 好的
Walter. Okay.
怪不得你需要理疗师
There is no wonder you need a physical therapist
你总是这样扭曲自己的身体
if you keep contorting yourself like this.
说实话 芙蕾雅会怎么想呢
Honestly, what would Freya think?
我觉得她会刮目相看
I think she'd be pretty impressed.
那么 芙蕾雅喜欢魔术 对吗
So, Freya's into magic, is she?
不知道 我觉得大部分人都喜欢
I don't know. I think most people are into magic.
你不知道 你将自己虚弱的身体 托付给这个女人
You don't know? You're entrusting your feeble body to this woman
你却对她一无所知
and you don't know the first thing about her?
我对她有一些了解 我知道她爱穿橙色
I know some things about her. I know she wears a lot of orange.
我想要比“最爱的颜色”更重要的信息
I'm looking for more than favorite color here.
是因为约会吗 - 说约会太过了
Is this about your date? - I mean, I wouldn't call it a date.
芙蕾雅基本上是求我 和她约会 我不过是默许了
Freya practically begged me to take her out and I merely acquiesced.
是因为你的摩尔福蝶机视像吗
Is this because of your MORPHO vision?
不
No.
我的视像不过是我开车去某地
My vision was just me driving somewhere.
(幽灵)
(你必须发掘你的真我)
可爱
Cute.
我不知道它的意思
I don't know what it means.
你的确很有“行动力”
Well, you are very driven.
但给别人腾出空间也很重要
But it's important to make room for other people too.
可别让人生碌碌无为 - 好吧
You don't want to let life pass you by. - Okay.
我来这里不是为了听路人给人生建议的
I didn't come here for dollar store philosophy.
要是你没有什么有用的信息 那我还有事要忙
If you don't have anything useful to say, I have better things to do.
说起来
Come to think of it,
我记得芙蕾雅有次说她喜欢马
I seem to remember Freya saying she liked horses once.
真有用 我去吃午餐时 带上一匹马就好了 对吧
Wonderful. I'll just take a horse to lunch then, shall I?
说实话 沃特
Honestly, Walter,
要是你身上的锁链有钥匙 那真应该把钥匙扔了
if there's a key to those chains, someone should throw it away.
翠娜 非常感谢你送我们去学校 谢谢
Really appreciate the lift to school, Trina. Thank you.
顺提一句 手握方向盘的位置很对
Very good ten-two, by the way.
我本要骑滑板车的 但其实...
I would have rode my scooter, but I actually--
昨天扭伤肌肉了 腹股沟的肌肉
I pulled a muscle yesterday in my groin.
所以今天就让我的老朋友休息一下
So I'm just gonna give the old girl a day off.
“老朋友”指的当然是我的腹股沟 位于腰部 你老爸的腰股沟
By the old girl I mean of course my groin. Of my loins. Your old man's loin groins--
好了 你再说一次“腹股沟” 我就会赶你下车
Okay, if you say groin again, I will throw you out of this car.
你瞧 我就说她肯和我说话吧 萨凡娜
You see. Told you she's not giving me the silent treatment, Savannah.
我们来聊一聊
Let's have a conversation.
好的 你和爱丽丝是怎么一回事
Okay. So, what's the deal with you and Alice?
你们上♥床♥了没有 - 翠娜
You guys boned yet or what? - Trina.
什么 你说要聊一聊的
What? You said you wanted a conversation.
对 而你说希望我和妈妈拎得清一点
Yes, and you said that you wanted me and your mom to make clearer boundaries,
所以我不知道为何你会气我搬出去
so I don't know why you're mad that I moved out.
你不知道我为什么气你搬出去
You don't know why I'm mad you moved out of the house?
我在作出一些改变 这会让我变成更好的父亲
I am making changes that will turn me into a better father,
更好的丈夫和更好的人
a better husband and a better man.
我听说他们还没上♥床♥ - 谁告诉你的
I heard they haven't had sex. - Who told you that?
戏剧社的一些同学之前说的
Some of the drama kids were talking about it.
也许戏剧社的同学应该专注于 在舞台上好好演戏
Well, maybe the drama kids should stick to the s-- drama on stage.
在舞台上演戏 比你的性生活更无聊 不怪他们
Well, the drama on stage sucks more than your sex life, so.
翠娜
Trina.
自从爱丽丝代替史泰博老师后 舞台剧变得越来越垃圾
Ever since Alice took over for Ms. Stebel, the play is fucking garbage.
哪出剧 - 我们在排练《小城风光》
What play is it? - We're doing Our Town.
《小城风光》 那是经典作品啊 我也曾参演《小城风光》呢
Our Town. Our Town is a classic. You know that I was in Our Town?
天啊 真是越聊越“有趣”
Wow. It just keeps getting cooler.
对 我扮演受人敬重的维拉德教授
Yeah. I played the venerable Professor Willard.
你在自己学校的戏剧里演一位老师
You played a teacher in your school play.
天啊 你的人生的确乏味得可悲
Oh, my God. You really have had a tragically boring life.
那其实算有意思的角色之一了
It was actually one of the better parts.
反正我也无法评价 因为爱丽丝根本不会教表演