大门奖（2023）

Oh, Nat.
迈克和我离婚时
When Mikey and I broke up,
唯一让我心情变好的就是网购
the only thing that made me feel better was online shopping.
我深陷其中
And I got really carried away.
我觉得很丢脸 不敢告诉任何人
And I've been too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.
昨天 我终于看了摩尔福蝶机给我的视像
And then yesterday, I finally got my vision from the MORPHO.
有许多包裹落在我头上
There were all these packages falling down on me.
我想跑赢它们 但是包裹不断落下
And I was trying to outrun them, but they just kept falling,
越来越快
faster and faster
那正是债务给人的感觉
which is exactly what debt feels like.
最终我被压倒了
And then finally I was crushed.
如果乔吉奥离开我 我就会有这种感觉
Which is how I'll feel if Giorgio leaves me.
他得知真♥相♥后可能会离开我
He might leave me when he finds out the truth.
所以我想用赌博找出路
And that's why I was trying to gamble my way out.
对了 这是我本人在说话 我已经不是苏珊了 我是娜特
This is me saying this, by the way. I'm not Susan anymore. I'm Nat.
你表达得很清楚 对 - 噢 对 我们明白的
That was super clear. Yeah. - Oh, yeah, we got that.
今天我看了自己的视像
I got my vision today.
是我 迷你版乔吉奥 他在把一盘盘的意粉装上吊船
And it was me, little Giorgio, loading plates of spaghetti onto gondolas.
不错
Nice.
但吊船的行驶速度越来越快
But then the gondolas started moving faster and faster.
越来越多的餐盘出现了
And then more and more plates kept coming
最终我错过了吊船 餐盘掉了一地
until finally I was missing the gondolas and dropping plates left and right.
你觉得这意味着什么
So what do you think it means?
我绝对不会进行 我原先计划的吊船意面运输系统了
It definitely scraps my plans to have a gondola pasta delivery system.
聪明
Smart.
更深一层 我觉得那意味着 如果我承担太多
On a deeper level, I think that it means that if I take on too much,
就会搞砸事情
I'm gonna mess things up.
比如 我已经是餐厅的老板 本地社区的栋梁
Like, I'm already a restauranteur, a pillar of the community,
老达的铁哥们
a best friend to Big D,
现在成了继父和娜塔莉的爱人兼未婚夫
and now I'm a stepdad and a lover/fiancée to Natalie,
她认为我们进展太快了
and she thinks I'm moving too fast.
但快速移♥动♥正是我让餐盘不落下的方式
But moving fast is how I keep the plates in the air.
我只懂这样的生活方式 - 但这都是相对的
It's the only way I know how to be. - It's all relative though.
我的意思是 你说你们进展太快
I mean, you say that you're moving too fast.
也许其他人会觉得自己进展太慢
Maybe somebody else thinks that they're moving too slowly.
每个人都需要按自己的步调来做事 这才是关键 对吗
Everyone has to move at their own pace. That's the point, right?
对 我妻子三年前去世了
Right. I mean, my wife died three years ago.
我仍没准备好回到情场
And I'm still not ready to get back on the horse.
三年 那是好久以前了 哥们
Three years? That's so long, bro.
没那么久
It's not that long.
我想也是 看看老达
I guess not. Look at D.
他得等三年才去吻一个女人 他的老婆都还没去世
He needs three years just to kiss a woman. His wife didn't even die.
不是吧 哥们
Come on, man.
如果不是你 我今晚本能吻到女人的
I would have kissed a woman tonight if it wasn't for you.
老达 我们可以等到 这些青少年变成十足的成人
D, we could've waited till these teens were full-blown adults
到时候你肯定还没吻她
and you wouldn't have kissed her.
没错 为什么
That's true. Why is that?
不知道 有位美丽 有才华的年轻女子
I don't know. You had a beautiful and talented young woman
在热情地追求你 哥们 - 对 但为什么呢
in hot pursuit, bro. - Yeah, but why?
为什么一个美丽的年轻女子 会热情地追求一个中年普男
Why is there a beautiful young woman in hot pursuit of a middle-aged potato?
别这样
Stop it.
不行 我忍♥不了你这样 我们是认真的
No, I can't even with you right now. We're being serious.
你的妻子是卡丝 城里前两位最美丽的女人之一
You're married to Cassie, one of the top two most beautiful women in town.
你是实打实的8分男 老达 我没说错吧 错了就纠正我
And you are a solid eight, D. Like, am I wrong? Tell me if I'm wrong.
你很英俊 - 对 女人喜欢高个子
You're very handsome. - Yeah. Women like tall men.
皮肤好 身材好
Good skin, good physique.
有幽默感
Good sense of humor.
脸很有趣
Interesting face.
老达
Big D,
要是你能像围坐这篝火的男人们 一样去看待自己
if you could see yourself the way that the men around this campfire see you,
你此刻一定非常“性奋”
you would be so turned on right now.
唯一让你止步不前的是你自己
The only thing holding you back is you.
你能回来吗
Can you just come back, please?
或是告诉我你在哪 我可以去找你
Or, like, let me know where you are so that I can come to you.
那群成年人在围坐一个假的篝火
The grown-ups are having a share circle around a fake campfire
大家都回家了 所以...
and people are just going home, so...
嘿 爱丽丝 稍等
Hey, Alice. Hold on.
天啊 我忘了什么吗
Oh, God. Did I forget something?
不 我只是...想把这个给你
No. I just-- I wanted to give you this.
谢谢你主动
Thanks for taking the lead.
很抱歉你觉得无法把这件事告诉我
I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't share this with me.
嘿
Hey.
无论你告诉我什么 那都永远不会改变我对你的感觉
Nothing you say would ever change how I feel about you.
谢谢
Thank you.
可是 如果乔吉奥的感情变了呢
But what if Giorgio's feelings change?
不会的 他爱你的话就不会
They won't. If he loves you, they won't.
也许会的
Well, they might.
对 也许会的
Yeah, they might.
天啊 - 也许会的 但是 嘿...
Oh, God. - They might, but hey, hey.
这就是赌博
That's the gamble.
感情从来都是赌局
That's relationships.
这是你基于当时的自己 而与某个人做的一笔交易
It's a deal you make with someone based on who you are at the time.
如果关于你自己 出现了新的信息 让他出乎意料
And if you ever surprise someone with new information about yourself,
那就是新的交易
that's the new deal.
那个人可以选择接受现在的你
And they, they can either accept who you are now--
或选择不接受
Or not.
那也是可以的 你明白吗
And that's okay too. You know?
比如 假设我是这样的一个人
Like, let's just say I'm someone who, you know,
我的童年很糟糕
because of my fucked-up childhood
只和无法提供情绪价值 或根本不陪伴自己的男人交往过
has only dated men who are emotionally or literally unavailable.
然后我开始与一个神父调情兼跳舞兼亲热
And then I start flirting with /dancing with/making out with a priest,
可以说是人类中 最无法抽身去“陪伴你”的人群了
the most unavailable person humanly possible.
结果他说“嘿 也许我不想再当神父了”
And then he's like, "Hey, maybe I don't want to be a priest anymore."
我心想 好吧 这是新的交易 那现在该算什么
And I'm like, okay, that's a new deal. Well, what the fuck is that about?
这说的是你吗 - 这个例子好具体啊
Is that you? - That's a very specific example.
好吧 重点是 如果你真的想和某人在一起
Okay. The point is, if you really want to be with someone,
你们俩都必须愿意接受变化
you both have to be willing to roll with the changes
相信你们能到达彼岸
and trust that you'll make it out on the other side.
娜特
Nat.
如果乔吉奥告诉你说他负债了 你会怎么做呢
Now what would you do if Giorgio told you that he was in debt?
我会为了他卖♥♥掉自己的灵魂
I would sell my goddamn soul for him.
很好 所以把真♥相♥告诉他吧
Good. So just tell him the truth.
完事后和我说说 我去找魔力马克喝酒了
And tell me how that goes. I'm gonna go have a drink with Magic Mark.
好的 玩得开心 - 真好
Okay. Have fun. - That's nice.
我很高兴我们有她这个朋友
I'm really glad she's our friend.
我就再去玩一次俄♥罗♥斯♥转盘...
I'm just gonna go hit the roulette table one more time--
不 我得阻止苏珊了
No. Susan's cut off.
嘿 才看到你打过电♥话♥ 一切可好
Hey. Just saw that you called. Is everything okay?
对 一切都好极了
Yeah. Everything is fucking great.
我刚看到我爸和我老师亲热
I just watched my dad make out with my teacher.
在我上班的地方 在学校活动上 与此同时
At my place of work. At a school event. And meanwhile,
我的男友和他男友崔佛一起出去看星星了
my boyfriend is out gazing at the fucking stars with his boyfriend Trevor.
真抱歉 翠娜 我一离开就后悔了
I'm so sorry, Trina. I immediately regretted leaving.
我都不喜欢崔佛 而且今晚甚至没有血月
I don't even like Trevor, and there isn't even a blood moon,
崔佛说这很可能
which Trevor says is probably
是因为天空不过是政♥府♥构造出的概念
because the sky is a projection made by the government.
让那家伙滚吧 他真够烂的 - 我知道 他烂死了
Fuck that guy. He sucks. - I know. He sucks.
他太烂了 绝对的 - 我讨厌他
He fucking sucks, for sure. - I hate him.
但我觉得他给了我关注 令人难过的是 那正是我渴求的
But I think he was giving me attention that I was sadly really craving.
我知道我有点黏人 但...
And I know I've been clingy with you. But...
我其实不喜欢和你之外的人待在一起
I don't really like hanging out with anyone who isn't you.
我其实也不喜欢和你之外的人待在一起
Well, I don't really like hanging out with anyone who isn't you.
我觉得此刻我们都需要彼此
I think that we both need each other right now,
而这很正常
and that's okay.
好的
Okay.
好的
Okay.
噢 天啊
Oh, my God.
“仰望星空可能令人百感交集
"Looking at the stars can be an overwhelming experience.
当你真正去观察这浩瀚无垠的宇宙
When you truly take in the vast and endless universe,
很难不感到自己的渺小和孤独
it's hard not to feel insignificant and alone.
但是 我的观星伙伴们 每当我把目光聚焦在星群时