大门奖（2023）

好吧
Okay.
真的 一个都没有 大家都对你的期待值为零
Like, literally no one. Like, zero expectations from anyone about you.
这个说法让我心如止水
Super unaffected by that comment.
所以你就做自己吧
So just be yourself.
另外 请把餐巾纸放下 好吗
And please put down the paper towels, okay?
你会看到一个电游小人版本的自己 那就是你
When you see this little video game version of you, and it's you.
然后上面会出现 “这就是你的真我”
And then it's saying, "This is who you are."
接下来有一段小情节 然后...
And it shows you this little scene and--
我不知道该怎么描述
I don't know how to describe it.
好吧 听起来有点诡异
Well, it sounds kinda creepy.
也许 但就算机器说这是你的真我
Maybe, but even if it does say this is who you are,
也不意味着它代表你的全部
that doesn't mean this is all you are.
有趣 老达 此话怎讲 展开说说
Interesting. What do you mean by that, D? Elaborate, please.
好吧
Well, okay.
如果你的人生潜力是箭头...
If your life potential is like an arrow--
你需要被人告知自己的潜力
Something that you need to be told about yourself,
从而被指引走向新的方向
to point you in a new direction--
那也许你需要从这个角度看待自己
Then maybe this is something that you need to see about yourself
好让你朝那个方向移♥动♥
to help you move in that direction.
我觉得这些片段就像梦境
I think they're like dreams.
等等 你试过了 - 神父 你的片段是什么
Wait a minute. You've done it? - What'd you get, Father?
类似牧师电游 你在里面消灭吸血鬼什么的
Like, a priest video game with you wasting vampires or something?
我不会说我的片段是什么 但是正如我说的
I'm not saying what I got, but like I said,
我认为那些视像就像梦境
I think these visions are like dreams.
视像
Visions.
如果你试图向另一个人描述...
And if you try to describe 'em to someone else...
他们会觉得无聊
They'd be bored.
不 这些片段是很私人的
Well, no, they're just personal.
不是你会放在庭院的标牌 或保险杠贴纸上的东西
These aren't things you put on lawn signs and bumper stickers.
“视像”是更趋于内在的
A vision is more internal.
看到它时 就算你并不想看到
When you see it, even if you don't wanna see it,
你也非常清楚它的意思
you know exactly what it means.
我喜欢“视像”这个叫法
I like that you're calling them visions.
我给《文摘》写这件事的报道时 能借用这个词吗
Do you mind if I use that when I write about this for the Digest?
当然
Go right ahead.
谢谢你 - 我本人是不会去试的
Thank you. - Well, I, for one, am not gonna do it.
你不会试什么
You're not gonna do what?
下个阶段 我不需要
The next stage. I don't need to.
如今我有了娜塔莉 我很清楚自己是谁
Now that I've got Natalie, I know who I am.
我有同样的感觉
I feel the exact same way.
卡丝 现在我们四人终于可以双人约会了
And Cass, now the four of us can finally double-date.
对 说到这个 我们也要宣布一件小事
Yeah. About that, we have a wee bit of an announcement too.
洗耳恭听
Let's go.
下一阶段的动画很傻 画面质量也很烂
The next stage animations are lame as hell, and the graphics are fucking ass.
对吗 就15秒 而且还无法控制
Right? It's, like, 15 seconds, and you can't control it.
因为那不是游戏
Because it isn't a game.
等等 我不懂 如果我插入我的“骗子”卡 会有我骗人的动画
Wait, I don't get it. So, if I put my "Liar" card in, it'll show me lying?
我觉得不是照搬字面的意思 我的更像是某种冒险游戏
I don't think it's that literal. Mine was more of like a quest game.
你刚就说了“游戏”
You just said "game."
我在草坪上走着 有一排栅栏
I was walking in a meadow, and there was a fence.
栅栏一边是很多绵羊
And on one side of the fence, there were all these sheep.
另一边是狐狸
And on the other side, there were foxes.
我的游戏角色开始拆栅栏
And my, like, avatar started taking down the fence.
而没有... - 嘿...
And instead of-- - Hey, hey.
谁准备好喝个烂醉了
Who's ready to get fucking drunk?
还是说不打算喝
Or are we not doing that?
我们只是在讨论问题
We were just having a discussion.
很好...我去拿把椅子来
Cool, cool. Yeah. I can just grab a seat.
你是自己把这些啤酒罐粘在身上的
Did you tape those cans to yourself?
对 类似“40手爱德华” 经典的喝酒游戏
Yeah, it's like Edward 40 hands. The classic drinking game.
这显然没有40只手 所以更像是爱德华12手
These aren't 40s, obviously. So more like Edward 12 hands.
是
Yeah.
抱歉 你们在做什么
Sorry, what's happening?
丽塔在分享一些事
Well, Rita was just sharing something.
帅啊
Noice.
好 我可以把一个啤酒瓶放下 也许吧
Yeah. I could just put one of these brews down, probably.
雅克 哥们 - 噢 糟糕
Jake, dude. - Oh, shit.
哥们...搞什么 - 你在干嘛
Dude! Come on, man. - What are you doing?
没事
I got it.
我好像把餐巾纸都用光了
I think I used up all the paper towels.
我去地下室再拿些来 但拜托你 放松
I'm just gonna go and get some more from the basement. But please relax.
不过是六周 六周而已 达斯提和我会复合的
It's just six weeks. Six weeks. Dusty and I, we're gonna get back together
并和彼此分享各自所有的新体验
and share all of our new experiences with each other.
但如果你们没有复合呢
But what if you don't?
我曾以为我会在国家冰球联盟 打20季的比赛 赢得七座斯坦利杯
I thought I was gonna play in the NHL for 20 seasons and win seven Stanley Cups
直到我接球的手受永久性受伤
until I suffered a permanent injury to my catching hand.
各位 世事无常啊
Anything can happen, y'all.
如果你们邂逅新人了呢
What if you meet someone?
或是遇到某个曾经对你有感觉 然后突然意识到
Or what if someone who had feelings before suddenly realizes
自己仍对你有感觉的人呢
that he still has feelings for you.
因为现在你在进行 你们的关系版自我放飞...
And now that you're on your little relationship rumspringa...
亲爱的 - 不 我没事...
Mi amore. - No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
我只是...天啊
I just-- Oh, God.
我只是有许多买♥♥四送二的各种餐券
It's just, I have all these four-for-two coupons to various restaurants
和附近景点的优♥惠♥券 所以... - 娜特
and nearby attractions, so... - Nat.
我只是需要自己待...
You know, I think I just need a min--
她没事吧
Is she okay?
她没事 神父 只是达斯提和卡丝的事让她很难过
She's okay, Father. Dusty and Cass have just really upset her.
乔吉奥 你觉得这是原因
You think that's it, Giorgio?
你不认为原因在于
You don't think it has anything to do with the fact
你在上周之前一直公开追求我老婆
that you've been openly pursuing my wife until basically last week,
然后娜特发现我们要暂时分开
and Nat just found out that we're taking a break?
等等 你一直在追求卡丝
Wait, you've been pursuing Cass?
就连我都知道这事
Even I knew that.
我是说 我都不知道你和乔吉奥的事
I mean, I didn't know about you and Giorgio.
各位 别为了我争风吃醋
Guys, please don't fight over me.
现在的情况并不是这样
That's not what's happening.
我对你的情意永不会消失 卡丝
I will always have a fondness for you, Cass.
但你和老达有婚姻问题
But the fact that you and D are having marital issues,
无论是床事方面还是其他...
whether they be in the bedroom or elsewhere...
不是因为性
Not a sex thing.
那也不会改变我突然意识到 我对娜塔莉有感情的事实
...that does not change the feelings that I suddenly realized that I have for Natalie.
我必须说清楚
And I need to make it clear.
娜塔莉 我的宝贝
Natalie. Il mio bambino!
你想不想看看乔吉奥的浴室
You wanna go see Giorgio's bathroom?
绝对的 - 好
Absolutely. - Okay.
你是对的 告知天下感觉很好
You were right. Telling everybody felt really good.
对
Yeah.
注意到浴缸巧妙的位置
Notice the subtle placement of the bathtub.
这里放着乔吉奥脑袋的石膏
Here, you see a plaster bust of Giorgio's head,
雕塑家是知名艺术家:三维打印机
created by renowned artist, 3D printer.
接下来 请注意这面镜子
Direct your attention to the mirror,
你将会在镜子上看到 他鲜少提及的“超级巨星”卡片
where you will see his rarely mentioned "Superstar" card.
在抽屉里 你会发现 数量惊人的去角质产品
And in the drawers, you will find an alarming amount of exfoliants.
这是我梦寐以求的浴室啊
It is everything I dreamed of and more.
对 瞧 现在你庆幸 自己同意来这个狗血的晚宴了吧
Yeah. See, now you're glad you agreed to this fucked up dinner party.
还真是 我很尽兴
Actually, I am. I'm having fun.
你很尽兴啊
You are having fun, aren't you?
原因何在 - 我的“视像”很好
What's going on there? - I got a good vision.
好的 如果你不会说 就别一直欲说还休
Okay, you can't keep teasing it if you're not gonna tell me.
视像里是小时候的我 和我父亲一起 很快乐
It was me when I was a kid, and I was with my father, and I was happy.
记起那种感觉真好
And it was nice to be reminded what that was like.
也很高兴 这说明 我的“父”卡也许不只是关于我
And nice to think that maybe my "Father" card wasn't just about me.
天啊 你现在皈依到摩尔福蝶机派了
Wow. So, you're like a full-on MORPHO convert now?
“皈依”太过了
I wouldn't say I'm a convert.
但你还记得我曾说我不想再当神父了吗
But you remember how I said I didn't want to be a priest anymore?
我记得 我不得不说
Yeah, I do. And I just have to say,
这对我来说压力好大啊 而我...
that's, like, a lot of pressure to put on me, and I--
不 我不想给你施压
No. I don't wanna put pressure on you.
我觉得这主要和我自己有关
I think it's more about me.