大门奖（2023）

我感到很不适
I'm uncomfortable.
你觉得伍兹医生会更喜欢哪种 夹紧还是放松
What do you think Dr. Woods would like more, clenched or unclenched?
夹紧 放松
Clenched. Unclenched.
可以再来一次夹紧吗 - 好了 够了
Could I see clenched again? - Okay. That's enough of that.
我们怎么会知道伍兹医生的喜好
Sorry, how would we know what Dr. Woods would like?
你是怎么认识伍兹医生的
How do you even know Dr. Woods?
我们在医院碰过面
Well, we had a bit of a moment at the hospital
我当时在照看J先生
when I was looking after Mr. J.
最近我在想 你老爸我是时候该...
And lately I've been thinking it's about time that your old man gets--
“再次上马”了 对 你说过好几次了
Back in the saddle. Yep. You've said it several times now.
我需要帮助
I need help.
我无法决定
I'm torn.
小猫还是蝎子
Kitten or scorpion?
小猫 - 两个都不要
Kitten. - Neither.
显然是小猫 刚只是在考验你们
Kitten, obviously. That was a test.
考验什么 你这次约会 能有多令人尴尬吗
A test of what? How cringey you could be on this date?
别急 你得先看整套
Wait. You need to see the full look.
天啊
Oh, God.
为什么会这样
Why is this happening?
雅克布 这是好事啊 他...
Jacob, this is so good. He--
是吗 还是说这种行为冲动且危险
Is it? Or is it impulsive and borderline dangerous?
他刮了胡子
He shaved his face.
他在我妈去世后第一次要约会 这...
He's going on a date for the first time since my mom died. Like--
雅克布
Jacob.
我不知道他在视像里看到了什么 让他认为这是个好主意
I don't know what he saw in his vision that makes him think this is a good idea.
我觉得我们也不需要知道
Well, I don't think we need to know.
如果波感到自己性感 自♥由♥ 那我们凭什么质疑他
If Beau is feeling, like, sexy and free, then who are we to question that?
而且
And besides, okay,
如果我能容忍♥我爸和我老师偷偷亲热
if I can handle my dad having his little secret make out sessions with my teacher,
那你能容忍♥这事
then you can handle this.
晚安 两位伙伴
Evening, partners.
天啊 此刻的你如此性感 - 请别在约会时带上绳索
Oh, my God. You look super hot right now. - Please don't bring a rope on your date.
被你骗到了 老爸 很好笑
You got me, Dad. That's good.
沃特 什么情况 为什么来了这么多人
Walter, what is going on? Why are all these people here?
这是为老弱病残组织的花样游泳课吗
Is this some sort of synchronized swimming class for the infirm?
我们是来参加水中健身班的 很高兴你加入我们
We're here for aqua-fit. So glad you're joining us.
等等 不行 我是来上芙蕾雅的私教课的
Hold on a minute. No. I am here for a private lesson with Freya.
不是来公共泳池和一群老年人戏水的
Not to splash around in a communal pool with a bunch of geriatrics.
不 芙蕾雅的课不只针对老年人 伊兹
No. Freya's class isn't just for old people, Iz.
也适合高水平运动员
It's also for high-performance athletes.
本身材紧实的小鲜肉每周都来 你会爱上这课的
My young, tight ass is here every week. You're gonna love it.
最棒的一点是课后我们会给自己奖励
And the best part is that after class, we reward ourselves with Columbo
去杰拉德家看刑侦剧 玩Quiddler
and Quiddler at Gerald's house.
杰拉德 你好吗
What's up, Gerald?
你看起来真健壮...宝贝
You're looking fit, baby. You're looking fit.
抱歉 什么是“quiddler”
I'm sorry. What is a "quiddler"?
什么 伊兹 真的 你没听过Quiddler
What? For real, Iz? You don't know Quiddler?
出名的短词游戏 “无限欢乐尽在咬文嚼字”
The short word game, "For the fun of words"?
你能第一次玩 我太羡慕你了
I'm so jelly you get to experience it for the first time.
不 我根本不会去玩 这课我也不参加
No. I will not be experiencing it ever. Nor this class.
别这样 伊兹 试一试嘛
Come on, Iz. Give it a chance.
你会很喜欢芙蕾雅的 她是理疗大♥师♥
You're gonna love Freya. She's a PT master.
大家都崇拜她
Everybody worships her.
这可不一定
We'll see about that.
好 来吧 宝贝 我爱死水中健身了
All right. Let's go, baby. I fucking love aqua-fit.
下水吧
Let's dunk our trunks!
(贝福德酒吧)
晚上好 汉娜
Evening, Hana.
这不是新上任的警长吗 你要来逮捕我
If it isn't the sheriff. You here to arrest me?
是 我要逮捕你 以谋杀之名
Yeah. I'm here to arrest you for murder.
你杀了那些孩子
You killed those kids.
天啊 波 - 抱歉 我不擅长即兴 我太紧张了
Jesus, Beau. - Sorry. I can't improv. I'm too nervous.
你觉得哪张桌子最适合约会
Which one of these tables would you say is the best for a date?
要我说 选那张灯光刺眼的桌子
I'd say the one with really harsh lighting
它就在屋子的正中间
right in the middle of everything.
完美 从那里能清楚地看到门
Perfect. I'll have a good view of the door from there.
我是开...好吧
I'm kid-- Okay.
哥们 - 行 听我说 我不会喝酒
Dude. - Okay, listen, I'm not gonna drink.
我只是来盯着我爸 他的这次约会非常关键
I'm just here to keep an eye on my dad, who's on a very high-stakes date.
好吧 这样的话 我很愿意被吊销卖♥♥酒执照
Okay. Yeah. In that case, I will happily lose my liquor license.
汉娜 拜托 你算是欠我个人情
Hana, come on. Don't you think you kinda owe me?
完全没有 不
I don't think that at all. No.
记得我哥哥寇顿吗
Remember Kolton? My brother?
曾来你酒吧的那位
The one who came to your bar.
然后你没告诉我他来过你的酒吧
And then you didn't tell me he'd come to your bar,
你隐瞒关于他的信息好几个月
and you kept secret information about him for months.
你真的要把你哥当作谈判策略
Are you really using your brother as a negotiation tactic?
我不希望他的死毫无意义
I don't want him to have died in vain.
我猜这场约会是受了他视像的启发
I'm assuming this date is somehow inspired by his vision?
我猜也是这样
I'm assuming that too.
天啊 这些视像真够奇怪的
God, these visions are fucking weird.
之前那样让别人给你看潜力卡 要简单轻松得多了
It was so much easier when you could just ask someone to show you their card.
我只希望她不会让他久等
I just hope she doesn't keep him waiting.
他一紧张脑袋就出红疹
He gets a head rash when he's nervous.
狗狗还好吗 - 非常好 谢谢
How's your dog-sit going? - Super groovy. Thanks.
对 特别可爱 而且很好相处
Yeah. Such a lovely dog. And so chill.
我听见你哀求它坐下 求了20分钟 结果如何
'Cause I heard you begging her to sit for 20 minutes. How'd that turn out?
它现在正坐着 甚至已经躺平
She's sitting now. Laying down, if you'd believe it.
糟糕 - 你在找东西
Shit. - Are you looking for something?
不...我只是在想 我们把旧毛巾放在哪里
No. No, I was just wondering, where do we keep our old towels?
不在厨房♥里 - 对
Not in the kitchen. - Right.
我也好奇橡胶手套的去向
I was also just curious as to the availability of rubber gloves.
橡胶手套
Rubber gloves?
一切都还好吗
Is everything okay?
噢 很好...
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
只是需要旧毛巾 橡胶手套
Just need old towels, the rubber gloves.
如果有没用的牙线 也请给我一点
And if you could toss some unwaxed dental floss my way.
好吧 发生了什么
Okay, what is going on?
就...你记得之前提到的悠悠吗
Well... do you remember Yo-Yo from before?
记得
Yeah.
它在楼下的日子不太好过
She's having a bit of a time down there.
好吧 怎么个不好过法
Okay. What time?
我觉得它在分娩 卡丝 - 分娩 怀孕的那种分娩
I think she's in labor, Cass. - Labor? Like, birthing labor?
狗狗分娩 没错
Puppy labor. Yeah.
你怎么知道的
Well, how do you know that?
一开始我以为它只是焦虑
Well, first of all, I thought it was just the anxiety,
然后我觉得它是反应过激 之后又以为是放屁
and then I thought she was maybe overeating, and then I thought it was gas.
但根据互联网以及我触碰到的
But according to the Internet and the masses swimming around
它小肚子里动来动去的物质
in her little belly that I could feel,
应该是要生了
it's happening.
好吧
Okay.
好的 你打给兽医了吗 - 打了
Okay, did you call a vet? - I did.
兽医说如果它已经确立了分娩的窝
They said if she's already established her birthing nest,
那我们不该打扰它
we shouldn't disturb her.
已经有“分娩窝”了吗 - 是的...
Is there already a birthing nest? - Yes. Yes.
就在我的床上
It's in my bed.
所以我们只需要毛巾和橡胶手套
So we just need the towels and the rubber gloves.
牙线是为了脐带 用来割断血...
And the dental floss is for the umbilical cord, to cut off the blood--
好了 听我说 这次我帮你救场
Okay, listen. I will bail you out this one time.
好吗 因为事关一个小动物的生命
Okay? Because there's an animal's life at stake.
明白 - 但这事结束时
Understood. - But at the end of this,
小狗狗由我来抱
I get to hold the puppies.
悠悠 坚持住
Hang in there, Yo-Yo.
好的
Okay.
大家做得很好 加油
Looking good, guys. Let's go.
五 四 三 二 一
And five, four, three, two, one.
按自己的节奏来 慢慢地抬起右腿
At your own pace, slowly lift your right leg.
如果你准备好了 垂直地让膝盖靠近身体
And if you feel ready, bring your knee perpendicular to your body.
但不用感到必须今天就做到
But don't feel the need to get there today.
像这样
Like this.
不 其实完全不是这样