大门奖（2023）

it is not a book club.
这是“讲故事小组” 灵感来自纽约市的“飞蛾”组织
It is a storyteller's group, inspired by New York City's The Moth.
好吗 针对一个特定主题 每个人准备一个故事
Okay? Everyone prepares a story around a specific theme,
本周主题是“我最棒的一段关系”
and this week's theme is "My greatest relationship".
对 你想不想留下来 给我们讲讲你的新老师朋友
Yeah. Would you like to stick around and talk about your new teacher friend?
不用了
No, I wouldn't.
我就不打扰你们了
I'll leave you to it.
我只是上来拿点气泡水
I just came up to get some fizzy water
因为地下室的自来水有点“乏味”
'cause I was a bit bored of the tap water in the basement.
但其实不要紧
But that's all right.
我喝前摇一摇就好
I'll just shake it up.
祝你们...读得开心
Enjoy your... reading.
好吧 - 我去...
Okay. - I'm gonna--
你没事吧 - 没事...
Are you okay? - Yes. Yes.
好的 - 我说过我们可以和其他人交往
Okay. - I said that we could see other people.
只是不知道会这么快
Didn't know it would happen that fast,
但是 嘿 我也在交新的朋友 比如汉娜
but, hey, I am meeting new people too, just like Hana,
所以我才很希望
which is exactly why I would appreciate it
你能给她一个机会
if you would please just give her a chance.
当然 但如果最后发现她是心理变...
Of course. But if she turns out to be a psycho...
嘿 - 妹子 你好吗 好啊
Hey! - What's up, girl? Yeah!
我带了葡萄酒 - 请进
Brought Syrah. - Come on in.
如果你不喜欢 我不会介意的
If you don't like it, I won't be offended.
我在酒吧下的贮藏间里发现了一整箱
I found a whole case in the crawl space under the bar.
贮藏间 汉娜 我很高兴你来了
A crawl space. I'm so glad you could make it, Hana.
是 抱歉 - 好的 我们走这边
Yeah, sorry. - Okay. So we're gonna come this way.
多谢你来
Thank you for coming.
(乔吉奥餐厅)
天啊 你的送餐技术真厉害
Wow. Look at that serving technique.
有没有顾客意见卡 我想留条评价
Is there a comment card? 'Cause I have a comment.
我的服务生工作太出色了
My waitress is too good at her job.
其实这好可爱 你决定
You know, it's really cute that you decided
在放假的这天过来
to spend your day off slowly drinking
慢慢地喝我们餐厅菜单上最便宜的饮品
the cheapest item on the menu at my workplace,
但是 你真的该去做点好玩的事
but you should go do something fun.
这就很好玩
I am doing something fun.
我在看你工作
I'm watching you work.
我们之前在“约会但假装不约会”时 我一直都想做这件事
That's what I always wanted to do when we were dating but not dating.
真甜蜜
That's very sweet.
但现在我们光明正大地约会了
But now that we are dating,
在学校时总在一起
we've been spending a lot of time together at school,
放学后 周末期间也是 - 太腻乎了 对吗
and after school, and on the weekend. - It's too much, right?
我太黏人了
I'm being, like, way too much.
有点 我只是说实话
Maybe a little. Just being honest.
嗨 自恋潮男 你在分我家服务员的心
What's up, LA Looks? Are you distracting my staff?
不 我只是...“自恋潮男”
No. I was just-- LA Looks?
我不信任你
I don't trust you.
翠娜 我不信任他
Trina, I don't trust him.
这小子曾玩弄我家萨凡娜的心
This is the kid who led my Savannah on.
你家萨凡娜 - 你没听错
Your Savannah? - That's right.
乔吉奥继父不是好惹的
Stepfather Giorgio doesn't eff around.
而这个花♥花♥公♥子♥竟然想惹另一个花♥花♥公♥子♥
And this eff boy tried to out eff an eff boy.
敢惹花♥花♥公♥子♥老大 就别怕打
If you eff with the jefe, you get eff the effed up.
等等 “花♥花♥公♥子♥”到底是指我还是你
Wait, am I the eff boy in this situation or you?
别耍滑头
Don't play coy.
我不会的 - 懂
I won't. - All right?
小萨和我无话不说
Sav and I tell each other everything.
有时她的手♥机♥放在一旁 收到短♥信♥时
And sometimes she leaves her phone out and her texts pop up,
我在不知状况的情况下会不小心读到
and I accidentally read them before I realize what's happening.
你看到了我发的那些道歉短♥信♥
So, you saw my multiple apology texts?
没有
No.
但萨凡娜的确说了 那些短♥信♥都不怎么真诚 哥们
But Savannah did say that they weren't even that heartfelt, bro.
所以你还是别打扰我们家姑娘
So, why don't you stop bothering my girl here
去找你的狐朋狗友玩吧
and go hang out with your boys?
雅克布没有狐朋狗友
Jacob doesn't really have boys.
嘿 我有狐朋狗友 - 一点忠告 小翠
Hey, I have boys. - A little advice, Tri.
工作和生活就如油和醋
Work life and personal affairs are like oil and vinegar.
有时可以混在一起
Sometimes they whisk together
变成惊艳的组合 例如我们的招牌沙拉酱
into a beautiful combination like our signature dressing,
乔吉奥香醋
Giorgio's Balsamico.
已注册商标 花♥花♥公♥子♥
TM, eff boy.
但混在一起的口味总是不同寻常的
But they're always distinct flavors.
懂了吗 - 懂了
Got it? - Got it.
我需要你帮忙 我要挂一些美丽的画作
Now, I need your help. I'm hanging some beautiful artwork
灵感是我此生挚爱
inspired by the love of my life.
等等 应该就是她打来
Wait, it's probably her right now.
娜特 宝贝
Nat, baby.
什么 不
What? No!
她为什么去讲故事会 不行
What is she doing at Storytellers? No.
听着 并非我不希望你来
Look, it's not that I don't want you here.
不必道歉 我懂 - 我只是觉得
Nah, I get it. - I just think it's good for us
有时我们有各自的生活挺好的
to do our own things sometimes.
可别变成我爸妈那样
We don't want to end up like my parents.
不健康地互相倚赖 无法满足内心愿望 - 没错
All codependent and unfulfilled. - Totally.
给 去游戏厅玩吧
Here. Go play in the arcade.
如果你给我赢了一个 从1990年代就在那里的橡皮球
If you win me the Koosh ball that's been there since the '90s,
我下班后给你带扭扭薯条
I'll hook you up with curly fries after I'm done.
挑战接受 - 好的
Challenge accepted. - Okay.
他坐上自己的小船 划桨离开
And he got in his paddle boat, and he paddled away.
那就是我最棒的一段关系
And that was my greatest relationship.
天啊
Wow.
好的 这个故事无人能敌了
Okay, so, that is the one to beat.
艾伦 你的故事真精彩
That was so great, Ellen.
汉娜 我们通常 在别人讲完故事后鼓掌或打响指
And Hana, we usually clap or snap when somebody finishes a story.
但没事的 各位 她不知道规则
But that's okay, you guys. She didn't know.
谁想来杯咖啡
Who wants a Poddy in their body?
达斯提 你有什么需要吗
Dusty, can we help you?
你们有什么需要吗
Can I help you?
我只是想泡一小碟的咖啡
I just decided to brew a small tray
用PoddyBean的咖啡胶囊 来送给我的好闺蜜们
of PoddyBean's coffee pods for my favorite gal pals.
是圣帕特里克节主题的
They're Saint Patrick's Day-themed.
很有意思吧
Which is just good fun, you know?
所以 这里有“奶油绿”口味
So we've got "creamy and greeny".
不 这不...艾伦不...
No, you're not-- Ellen doesn't--
要不要“小清新”口味
Will we go for "less bold"?
这样你们读书期间会更清醒点
That'll keep you awake during all that reading.
噢 “神圣烘焙”
Oh, "holy roast".
汉娜 要不要来点Poddy咖啡
Hana, did you want some Poddy in your body?
不了 谢谢 我现在不太想喝 节日主题的咖啡
No, thanks. I'm not really in the mood for a holiday-themed coffee.
好吧 那我就...
Well, okay, well. I'll just--
我把这个放在这边
I'll just park these over here,
如果你们改变主意 可以再来抢
and if you guys change your mind, you can fight over them later.
但不是那种雌竞争执
Not like in a catfight.
不是那个意思
Didn't mean it that way.
因为这种说法很误导 对吧
Because it's not true, is it?
女人在一起时并不总是互相竞争
When women get together, they don't always fight.
所以我们要杜绝这种性别陈见
So let's end that gender stereotype today.
在这里 女人无所不能
Here, now, women can do anything.
永远都是
Always.
其实我是这么想的 - 达斯提
You know what I think has happened here? - Dusty.
我觉得卡丝把我和爱丽丝约会的事 告诉你们了
I think that Cass told you about my date with Alice.
达斯提 - 所以我想澄清一下
Dusty. - And so can I just say,
这个丑闻里的拥抱其实时间很短
for the record, that this now-infamous hug wasn't even that long.
最多40秒
Forty seconds, tops.
而且在拥抱的时候 其实你...不会觉得...
And when you're in it, it's not-- It doesn't feel like--
我能不能展示一下... - 不
Could I demonstrate with you-- - No.
好的 也没时间展示
No, not the time for that.
还有谁 谁想来个拥抱 - 不
Somebody else? Who wants a hug? - No.
好吧 出于实验的目的 我就拥抱自己好了
No. Well, for the sake of the experiment, I shall hug myself.
谁有计时器 - 好了 达斯提
If someone has a timer. - Okay, Dusty,
没人在乎你和爱丽丝的事 或是你们奇怪的拥抱
nobody cares about you or Alice, or your weird hug.