伦敦女孩（2012）

Well, where will it sleep?
那孩子要睡哪儿？
First off, the baby will sleep in our room.
一开始 孩子当然要睡在我们房♥间
Then when you go off to uni...
等你上大学离开
Or to work in Poundland or Micky D's or whatever.
或者去两元店 麦当劳打工 还是其他什么地方
..the baby will have your room.
孩子就可以睡你房♥间
So you're throwing me out? No, that will not happen.
所以是要赶我出去么？- 当然不是 绝不会那样
Yes, basically, we will be needing that room.
好吧 说白了 我们需要那个房♥间
Why don't I just leave now then?!
那我♥干♥脆现在就离开好了
'Yep, that's right. Miss Bitchcock is my Dad's girlfriend.
如你所见 那个贱♥人♥老师是我爸的女朋友
'I don't know what he sees in her.
真不知道他看上她什么了
'Well, I do.'
好 我知道
'They're both proper sex maniacs!'
他俩都痴迷着各种疯狂的做♥爱♥
'I don't know why my dad is having another kid.
不知道为毛老爸还想要孩子
'He can't even look after the ones he's already got.
他连我都照顾不好
'Luckily, I've got my friends.'
幸好 我还有闺蜜们
He doesn't care about me any more.
他不再关心我了
All his cares about is his penis and getting his penis
现在他唯一的关心的 就是用什么新花招
into Miss Bitchcock and humping Miss Bitchcock till she screams.
跟那个贱♥人♥做♥爱♥
And his stupid foetus.
还有那个该死的孩子
Is it OK if I stay here?
我呆在这可以么
Course. Do you want one of my mum's tablets?
当然 要来点我老妈的药么
They're really calming.
绝壁能让你淡定下来
I'm just on my way to Brandon's.
我正要去Brandon家
To dump him? To dump him.
去甩他？ - 是
Oh, my God. I'm really worried.
哦 好样的 - 我太紧张了
Do you want one of my mum's tablets?
要来点我老妈的药么？
They're really calming. Viva's had one.
能让你淡定下来 Viva 刚吃了一片
Er, no, I'm all right. I just want to practise what I'm going to say.
不用了 我还好 我就是想先练一下等会要怎么说
Go on, then. We'll give you some tips, won't we, Viva?
说吧 我们来帮你出主意 是吧 Viva
So he opens the door.... You be him, right?
他打开门 你现在假装是他
So he answers the door, and I go, "Hi."
他打开门 然后我说“嗨”
Hi, sexy. We need to talk.
“嗨 甜心” -“我们需要谈”
Don't want to talk. I've got the right horn.
别谈了 我都已经饥渴难耐了
Get your tits out, let me feel those bad boys.
快让我摸摸她俩
Shut up, I really need to talk.
别闹了 我给你说正经的呢
Come on, babe, me mum's out, let's have a quickie.
亲爱的 我妈出去了 我们快点来一发
This is so not helping. Can I wank on your tits?
别捣乱了 - 能在你乳♥头♥上做吗?
I wouldn't let him do that, cos last time he did it,
我不会让他那么做的 上次做的时候
a blob of spunk suddenly shot into my eye
一股精♥液♥射我眼睛里了
and it really hurt and went bloodshot
疼死了 眼睛都充血了
and Mum kept asking, "What's wrong with your eye?"
我妈一直问我眼睛怎么了
So I had to quickly make up something, so I pretended a robin flew into it.
我只能瞎编说 是知更鸟撞的
I love robins.
我爱知更鸟
Hi. Hi, sexy.
嗨！ - 嗨 亲爱的
Come in.My mum's out. We've only got ten minutes. No.
快进来 我妈出去了 我们只有10分钟了 - 不行
You look incredible in that top.
你奶♥子♥看起来棒极了
I've been dreaming about your tits all day. I've got the right horn.
我已经想念她俩一整天了 我已经饥渴难耐
No, Brandon! Look, feel this.
不行,Brandon！ - 来 摸摸看
No, Brandon. Get off! I didn't come here for that.
Brandon 我有正事要和你说
We need to... give each other some space.
我们需要给彼此一些空间
Space?
空间？
Yeah, the thing is, my nan's ill,
对 我奶奶病了
cos a beetle crawled inside her ear and started eating her brain,
有虫爬进她耳朵在吃她的脑子
and now we have to take turns reminding her who she is.
现在我们要轮流照顾她 提醒她自己是谁
What, you're dumping me?
什么？ 你要和我分手吗？
Well, yeah, it's complicated.
解释起来很麻烦
My dog's depressed, my dad doesn't like you,
我的狗狗抑郁了 老爸也不喜欢你
and I'm really behind on my textiles coursework.
而且我都落下好多我的纺织课了
So you are dumping me?
所以你是要甩了我？
Um... Um, yeah. Yeah, I am.
是啊 我们分手吧
Come on, no allow it. There's no way I'm going to let that happen!
得了吧 不可能 我不会同意的
But isn't it up to me?
这不是我说了算么？
No, babe. You're my girlfriend.
不 亲爱的 你是我女朋友
We're good together.You know that, babe.
我们处的那么好 你知道的 甜心
I just really, really love you.
我只是太爱太爱你了
So we went upstairs and, you know, did it, and then his mum came in
然后我们上楼 你懂得 又做了 然后他妈进来了
and talked to us about the Bible for a bit...
和我们说圣经什么的
and then I went home.
然后我就回家了
But you don't like him any more.
但你已经不喜欢他了
I've got a match! I can't go bus stop with you.
我还有比赛 不能和你一起去车站
I'll be ages. SAZ TUTS
还需要很久
Whatever. When we're doing it
随便你 - 我们做的时候
it's the only chance I get to have a good think about things.
也是我唯一能好好想事情的时候
Like what? My God, everything.
比如说？ - 所有事情啊
I mentally sort out my hair accessories,
心里默默整理我的发卡
I plan my lipsticks for the next day,
想好第二天我要用哪个唇彩
and that fat goldfish keeps popping in my head.
还有老是会想到那个胖金鱼
Please dump him.
快分手吧
Want me to do it? I could dump him so he stayed dumped.
要我帮忙么？ 我能让他一直都衰下去
Could you? No, she has to do it. Have I? Come on. Think of your future -
真的么？ - 不行 你必须自己做 - 为什么呀？想想你的未来
all the boys and men you'll go out with and need to dump.
还有那么多男孩要你自己去解决
You can't just get Holli. She might not be available.
你不能总依靠Holli 她不可能随叫随到
She might be in prison by then.
她有可能都会进监狱
You what? Kidding.
你说什么？ - 开玩笑啦
Why would I be in prison? It's the only way you'd get to see your relatives
为什么我会进局子? - 那样的话才能见到家属啊
. You what? Just think it through.
你说什么? - 好好想想
What are the pros of sticking with Brandon?
Brandon有什么优点让你还想和他在一起
What are the cons? Weigh it all up and then decide.
再想想他有什么缺点？ 权衡一下作出决定
Well, the pros are he's really fit
好吧 优点是他身材很有型
so all the other girls are jealous of me.
所以其他女孩都嫉妒我
We both love Ice Road Truckers.
我们都喜欢“冰路前行”(英国纪录片)
And he makes toast just right, with the butter on the edges.
而且他面包做的很好 黄油抹的很均匀
And that's it? Well, the cons are he's really fit,
还有呢？ - 缺点是他身材太有型
so the other girls are jealous of me and call me bitch and vandalise my bike.
所以其他女孩都嫉妒我 叫我贱♥人♥ 还弄坏我的自行车
And Brandon's really jealous.
还有Brandon太容易吃醋
Like, when I had to turn over my granddad so he wouldn't get bedsores,
比如 我帮爷爷翻个身以免他得上褥疮
he was like, "I'm not happy with you touching another man."
他就会说“我不想让你接触其他男人”
And we both really love sex, but he loves it nonstop,
我们都喜欢做♥爱♥ 他更是停不下来
so my Minniehaha never gets a moment's peace.
所以我的Minniehaha从来都没有过安宁
Yeah, I'd say the cons probably outweigh the pros.
很明显还是缺点多啊
And there is something else, but I can't tell you.
还有一件事情 不过不能告诉你们
Tell us or I'll give you a Chinese burn.
快说 否则大刑伺候
It's important to share all the relevant information here, Amber,
所有的信息都很重要 Amber
so we can help you.
这样我们才能帮你
OK. Well...
好吧
It's the noise he makes when he, you know...
就是他会发出那种声音 你懂的
..comes.
高♥潮♥时
What sort of noise is it, exactly? Squeaky? Squawky?Squidgy?
到底是什么声音? 吱吱响? 沙哑? 软塌塌？
Mental?
疯癫？
Is it like water going down the plughole?
像水倒入塞孔里的那种么？
No, it's sort of like...
不是 是那种
You should record it on your phone. Make it Brandon's ringtone!
你应该录下来 当Brandon的来电铃♥声♥
Yeah. Give us your phone.
快把手♥机♥给我们
What the hell's going on in here? Everyone else is waiting.
你们在干嘛？ 其他人都在等你们
We need to be treating this friendly like a dress rehearsal for Westmount.
我们要好好踢 就当是对西山队之前的练习
I want you to go out there and kill them. Dead!
我要你们往死里虐她们
♪I want to have control
我仅仅想要一个主宰
♪I want a perfect body
想要拥有完美的身体
♪I want a perfect soul
想要拥有完美的灵魂
♪I want you to notice
想要你注意到我
♪When I'm not around
即使我不在你身边
♪You're so fucking special
你还是那么该死地特别
♪I wish I was special
我也希望能够与众不同
♪But I'm a creep
但我只是一个懦夫
♪I'm a weirdo.
只是一个怪人
One-nil! To them! The worst team in the borough.
0比1 还有比你们更糟的吗
I feel like puking.
让我都想吐
I feel like puking.
我真要吐了
I don't know how your dad can stand her. Nor me.
我真想不通你♥爸♥怎么能忍♥受得了她 - 我也想不通
She probably takes it up the bum.
她可能那方面很行啊