Would you do it with Prince William?Er, no.
你会跟威廉王子滚床单吗? - 才不要
Nor would I. He's going well bald.
我也不会 他都快成大叔级别的了
Although, I would get him to buy me loads of amazing handbags
不过呢 我会让他给我买♥♥很多手袋
and then I'd say,"Sorry William, I just can't handle
然后对他说 抱歉威廉我接受不了
"the pressure of being hounded by the press day and night."
日夜被狗仔队窥视的生活
But I would keep the handbags, obviously.
包包我就收下了
Plus he looks like he has a tiny penis.
外加看起来有个疲软的小♥弟♥弟♥
ALL: Yeah...
Would you do it with a man in a wheelchair with no arms and legs?
那你会和坐轮椅手脚残废的人做吗?
What would his face be like?
那要看看脸怎么样?
I mean, if he had a head like R Pattz, but with no arms
我是说 要是有嫩牛五方的脸 没有手脚
and legs, but could use his tongue, I would definitely think about it.
舌头依然能动 我绝对会考虑一下
Would you do it with a man with a beard? No.
那会跟有胡子的人做吗? - 这个不行
I'd rather do it with Osama bin Laden than a man with a beard.
我情愿跟拉♥登♥搞 也不会和有胡子的人上♥床♥
Osama bin Laden has got a beard. And anyway, he's dead.
拉♥登♥的胡子都能当拖把了 不过呢已经死了
Well in that case, no.
那的话绝对不行
Would you do it with a dead person if it wasn't Osama bin Laden?
如果不是拉♥登♥ 你会和死人搞吗?
What, Amber,are you actually thinking about it?
Amber你不会真在想吧?
Well, if he was R Pattz and he had died very, very recently,
如果嫩牛五方 只是刚刚死
like in the last ten minutes,I might try.
就有十分钟的感觉 我趁热来一发也行
I could tell people I was the last person R Pattz ever shagged.
然后就可以告诉世人 我是他最后亲热的人
I could write a book about it and go on telly
我还可以出一本书
and be interviewed by Lorraine Kelly.
接受电视访谈
SCOTTISH ACCENT:"So Amber, what was it like
“Amber 你感觉跟死后的”
"to make love to dead R Pattz?"
"嫩牛五方搞怎么样?"
"Well, Lorraine,it was proper tricky."
"这可需要相当的技巧"
Oh Viva, look, there's Rocky. Slow down.
Viva快看是Rocky - 慢着
Why? Why are we avoiding your boyfriend?
怎么了?为什么躲着你男友?
Don't you like him no more?Tell us.
你不喜欢他了? - 坦白从宽
No, I still like him.
喜欢 还是在喜欢
I still really, really like him,but he's getting very intense.
一直都喜欢 不过呢他最近有些过火
He keeps talking about the future.
他老是谈将来怎样怎样
But YOU keep talking about the future.
这可是你一直挂在嘴边的啊
Yeah, but it's a different future.
他说的可不一样
I want to go to uni and Rocky wants to be a matador
我想去读大学 他想当个斗牛士
or someone who owns a pie shop.
或开个馅饼店
I've got an idea.
我一个想法
Let's skip first period and hangout in the supplies cupboard.
第一节咱们去储物室玩玩
You, me...
你 我...
and this box of 132 condoms that
还有132个安全套
I just stole from Mrs Grant’s classroom
我刚刚从Grant的教室里顺来的
I can't just skip first period and have sex with you in a cupboard.
我不能为了你的淫欲就逃第一节课
We're at school!I've never done it at school before.
这是学校 - 咱俩还没在学校做过
I bet it would be even sicker than normal.
我想应该会更刺♥激♥
Sometimes it's like you've got totally no idea who I am.
有时感觉你一点都不懂我
I actually like learning.
我挺喜欢学习的
I could read your book out loud while we do it.
我可以边做边读书
"Neuroscience and the Preservation Of The Mind, by Dr Patrick Scripps."
"神经学和记忆储存Patrick Scripps博士著"
Sexy.No, Rocky, I'm going to my lesson.
怎么样? - 不行 我要上课了
Just five minutes, then?
五分钟行不?
Two minutes.
两分钟
I can't find the light.Is this it?
没找到灯开关? - 是这个吗?
no, Rocky, that's your penis.Yeah, I know. Sorry.
不是 那是你的小♥弟♥弟♥ - 我知道
I need to go.Oh, one more minute!
我得走了 - 再来一分钟嘛
Oh, no, I've dropped my pen!Can you find the light?
我的钢笔掉了 你去找找灯的开关
Let there be...
开灯...
I think that's your pen on his left moob.
你的钢笔在他左胸上
As you all know,Mr Andrews died suddenly last week.
Andrews老师上周意外去世了
For those of you who didn't know,Mr Andrews died suddenly last week.
对于还不知道的 Andrews老师上周意外去世了
It was a surprise for everyone,though of course he was very fat.
是个意外 不过呢 他确实是胖得不像话
There will be a memorial service for students
学生和教职工可以在
and staff to remember Mr Andrews on Friday.
周五举♥行♥追悼会上悼念Andrews老师
When someone dies suddenly,
当有人意外的死去
there can be many unresolved"feelings" that need to be resolved.
就会有悬而未决的情感需要疏导
Some here may be feeling angry about Mr Andrews dying and dumping
有些人可能会气愤 因为Andrews老师突然去世
his GCSE students in the plop and leaving me to sort out the mess.
留下还没有中考的学生 让我来收拾这个烂摊子
But we want you to know that we care about these "feelings"
大家要知道校方很关心你们的情感
and will be providing a counsellor
我们安排一个心理顾问
to help you discuss those "feelings"
帮助你来疏导情感
if you're the kind of kid who can't just talk it over
尤其是那些只能对伙伴
with your mates like a normal person.
倾诉的'正常人'
You should probably seethe counsellor, Viva.
你应该去看看那个心理老师Viva
What for?
为什么去?
Well, you could be traumatized.But I'm not.
会留下心理阴影的 - 没有啊
It's not every day you find your tutor's rotting corpse.
撞见老师尸体这种事 可不是每天都有
You must feel a bit weird.
现在肯定感觉怪怪的吧
No, I'm fine.
没有啊 我很好
I found my rabbit dead once.
我碰到过我的兔子的尸体
A rat had chewed off his head,hollowed him
老鼠咬开了它的头
out on the inside,just leaving a furry bag.
掏空了里面 只剩下个毛茸茸的皮囊
Did you get any counselling?No.
你有接受过心理辅♥导♥吗? - 没有
Obviously we had a ceremony and buried him out the back,
然后我们弄了一个葬礼 把它埋在了后院
next to Toggle, Billy, Elvis,Tinker, Nibbler, Mavis,
和其他宠物一起
Muffin, Fudgey-Paws, Suzy, Stanley,Jacko, Peaches and Wanker.
等 等 等 等 等 等
Ah, he's in there if any of you feel the need.
心理辅♥导♥老师就在这里
Do we get off lessons, Sir?
能翘课来吗?
No, you'd have togo during break or free period.
不行 只能课间或自♥由♥时间来
Like anyone's going to give up their free time to...
谁会这么傻课间休息来这
Hello Doctor,I'm here for counselling.
老师好 我需要心理辅♥导♥
Er, don't forget, Viva, senior choir practice this lunch time.
别忘了Viva午饭后高年级合唱班练习
And me,Mr Jefferies, I'm in senior choir.
还有我老师 我也是合唱班的
Right, yes, you are.
对 你也是
So really you should be reminding meas well, shouldn't you, Sir?
那我也要去练习对不对 老师?
Yes, right, you as well, Amber
对 你也去Amber
Ah, now clear the corridor for break. Er, Viva, a moment.
上课了别待在走廊里 Viva等一下
It's about choir.Amber needs to leave choir.
Amber得离开合唱班了
Leave? Why?
离开? 为什么?
Because she's no good.
她实在是不行
But isn't choir just about the pleasure of singing?
合唱班不是能开心唱歌♥就好了吗?
But is it really about that?
真这样就好了?
Isn't it really just on one level about sounding just a little
都不在一个水平上 听起来
bit like the tune?
只有一点着调
So are you just going to kick her out, then?
所以你就想把她开除?
No, God, no. No, no.
不是 不是那样
I have a policy of inclusivity where choir is concerned.
对合唱班我是最包容的
You're going to kick her out.Me?!
所以你要说服她离开 - 我?!
You're her friend. It's going to sound better coming from you.
你是她闺蜜 由你来说对她伤害最小
Now, I want her out of the choir before the concert.
我想让她在音乐会之前离开
Thank you, Viva.
先谢谢你了Viva
What's your name?
你叫什么?
Do you fancy a cup of tea,Holli Jane?
要喝杯茶吗 Holli Jane?
I've just boiled the kettle.
我刚烧了壶开水
Where would you like to start?
你想从哪开始呢?
I don't know. I'm well confused.
我也不知道 我很困惑
My feelings are...
我的情感...
..all over the place.
...到处都是
Death can sometimes stir up some unexpected emotions.
死亡有时会激起一些意想不到的情感
It's just all very raw,very sudden, very painful.
这种情感很原始 很突然 很痛苦
Four sugars, please
加四块糖 谢谢
Er, right, I'll just...
好 我...
Gosh, you really are suffering,aren't you, Holli Jane?
天哪 你真是痛不欲生啊 对吧 Holli Jane?
I really am, Dr Nick.
太痛苦了 Nick医生
This guy is hot.
那家伙太性感了
He's better looking than Rocky,he's better looking than Brandon.
比Rocky 比Brandon都帅多了
He's better looking than...Tyler Blaine.
甚至胜于...Tyler Blaine
No-one's better looking than Tyler Blaine.
没人比得上Tyler Blaine
He is. This is his bum.
他就比得上 看他的翘臀
There you are.Hey, Rocky.
你在这儿啊 - 嘿 Rocky
I've got some new names for my pie shop.
我给馅饼店想到些新名字
I Pie, Lord of the Pies, Pie-derman.
I Pie 馅饼王 馅饼侠
Pies R Us.Pie-ly Tasty.TGI Piedays.