轮回派对

Let's take her to breakfast tomorrow morning,
完全合乎犹太教教规 怎么样
make everything kosher copacetic, okay?
我们可以去我那里
We can go to my place.
走防火梯
Let's take the fire escape.
会很有意思的
It'll be fun.
你干什么 走吧
What's that? Come on.
你不要再一心扑在他身上了
You gotta stop getting so worked up over him.
你已经在他身上浪费了太多时间了
You've spent enough time on this guy already.
我知道你很难受 但是拜托
I know it's a bummer, but come on.
没错
Oh, yeah.
的确很不幸
Yeah, it is a bummer.
对于卷入的所有人来说都很不幸
It is a bummer for everybody involved,
除了你以外
except, it seems, to be for you,
而这完全不合理
which, you know, doesn't make any sense,
因为如果说谁应该下半生
because if anybody deserves to be punished
都受到惩罚 那就是你
for the rest of their fucking life, it is you.
你就是一个垃圾
You are fucking garbage,
得有人来把你包起来
and someone needs to bag you up,
拖出去 扔进东河里
take you outside, throw you into the East River,
让所有被你臭味所烦扰的人
and put everyone who can smell your fucking stench
都从痛苦中解脱
out of their goddamn misery!
上帝啊
God!
我不知道你们俩是谁
I don't know who the fuck you are,
我不知道是怎么回事
I don't know what's going on here,
但是你们要么互相口
but either you two suck each other's dicks
要么就滚出我家
or get out of my apartment.
好吗 快
Okay? Come on.
我才不给任何人口
I'm not sucking anybody's dick.
小碧 他是个性瘾者
Bea, he's a sex addict.
-谁 -迈克尔 迈克 你的迈克
- Who? - Michael. Mike. Your Mike. Your Michael.
艾伦 你现在太醉了
Alan, you're so fucking drunk right now.
我不跟你吵
I'm not gonna do this with you.
-不跟你吵 -小碧 他是个性瘾者
- I am not, okay? - Bea, he's a sex addict.
别再给我回电了 因为你根本就不清醒
Don't bother calling me back, 'cause you're not gonna be sober.
-你需要帮助 -拜托 小碧
- You need help. - Please, Bea.
-又是煤气爆♥炸♥ -又是吗
- Gas explosion again. - Again?
我被车撞了
I get hit by a car.
真老套
Oh, classic.
等等
Hey, wait a second.
你是说你从来没有从楼梯上摔死吗
Are you telling me that you're never dying on the stairs?
是的
No.
你是什么超级英雄还是...
Are you some kind of a fucking superhero or just a...
你觉得我们都是同时死的吗
Do you think that we're dying at the same time?
生日快乐
Hey, happy birthday.
稍等一下
Give me one second.
-和苏珊一起吗 -因为她在那个
- Up with Susan? - Yeah, 'cause she was like doing that.
-什么 -她在做♥爱♥的时候掐她
- What? - She was choking her during sex.
没错 她喜欢玩窒息什么的
Yeah, she's a choker and shit.
没错
Yeah.
还挺性感的
It's kind of hot.
的确挺性感的 然后那人就开始跟踪她
I mean, it is kind of hot, but then the stalking started.
-那就不性感了 -没错
- That's not hot. - Yeah.
这家伙已经跟着我们走了五个街区了
This guy's been following us for like five blocks.
你在说...
What the hell are you even--
后退 混♥蛋♥
Back the fuck up, motherfucker!
我说给我后退 混♥蛋♥
I said back the fuck up, motherfucker!
后退 混♥蛋♥ 后退
Back the fuck up, motherfucker! Back up!
快走 快走
Let's go! Let's go!
311 你们最棒了
Three-one-one, you guys rock.
这里煤气泄漏了
Listen, uh, I'd like to report a gas leak.
对
Yeah.
对 非常紧急
Yes, it is urgent.
其实是非常紧急的事件
You know, it's a big-time fucking emergency, actually.
纳蒂亚
Nadia!
天啊 看着我 看着...
Oh, God. Look at me. Look at--
纳蒂亚 不 亲爱的 不要
Oh! Nadia, no! Honey, please!
天啊 天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
我以为是个抢劫的
I thought it was a burglar.
他们说街区里有人入室抢劫
They've been saying there's somebody in the neighborhood.
操
Fuck.
操
Oh, fuck.
操
Fuck.
你觉得他会求婚吗
You think he's gonna propose?
太不幸了
That's a bummer.
嗯
Yeah.
没错
That's right.
你好 我是艾伦
Hi. I'm Alan.
-我在打电♥话♥呢 -和我女朋友
- Yeah, I'm on the phone. - Yeah, with my girlfriend.
碧翠丝
Beatrice.
小碧 我...我回头给你电♥话♥
Bea, uh... I'm gonna-- I'm gonna call you back.
-听着 -为什么是你
- Listen. - Why you?
什么为什么是我
Why me what?
小碧
Bea.
她选择了你 你不爱她 你不忠诚
She chose you, and you don't love her. You're not faithful.
你从来没有受到惩罚
You never get punished.
所以为什么是你
So why you?
她没有选择我 艾伦
She didn't choose me, Alan.
她只是选择不选你
The only choice she made was not you.
没有人会选择我
Nobody chooses me.
我不值得被当做选择
I'm the hole where a choice should be.
天啊 艾伦
Oh, God. Alan.
我刚刚是防狼喷雾引发哮喘而死 你呢
I had a mace-induced asthma attack. You?
如果他们一直这样呢
What if they keep going?
-谁 谁一直这样 -他们
- Who? Who keeps going? - Them.
除我们之外的所有人
I mean, everyone who's not us.
我以为那只是发生在我们身上
All right, I thought that what was happening to us
不会伤害到其他人 但是
wasn't hurting anybody else, but...
他们都深陷其中
...I mean, they're all in it, too.
什么
What?
15次 露丝为我悲恸了15次
Fifteen times, Ruth has grieved for me.
她在15个宇宙中都是孤身一人
In 15 universes, she's alone.
等等 你也是15次吗 你数过了吗
Wait. It's 15 for you, too? Did you count?
我知道怎么数数 艾伦
I know how to count, Alan.
生日快乐
Hey, happy birthday.
听我说
Hey. Okay, listen to me.
我们要走了 我不会去拿那本书
We are leaving, and I am not going to get the book.
我要和你女儿说说《风之少女艾米莉》的内容
I'm going to tell your daughter about Emily of New Moon.
-明白吗 -嗯
- Understand? - Yeah.
-你能帮我吗 -当然了
- Can you help me with this? - Sure.
抱歉 我得先打个电♥话♥
Sorry, I gotta make a call.
-搞什么 -天啊
- What the fuck? - Oh, my God.
你想让我有负罪感吗
You want me to feel guilty?
我没有
Well, I don't.
我不是碧翠丝的男朋友 你才是
I am not Beatrice's boyfriend. That was your job.
我知道轮不到我来惩罚你
Look, I know it's not up to me to punish you.
但也没必要让你好过
But I don't have to make this easy for you.
碧翠丝是谁 算了 我不在乎
Who is Beatrice? You know what? I don't care.
听着 我明天一大早还得飞去瑞典
Listen, I have an early flight to Sweden in the morning,
请你出去 我好继续
so you need to get out so I can get it in.
随你吧
Whatever.
就算不是你 他也会瞄上其他女人
If it wasn't you, it would be some other woman.
我看上去像是在乎的样子吗
Do I look like I care?
-我没想侮辱你 女士 -操♥你♥妈♥
- I-- I wasn't trying to insult you, ma'am. - Fuck you.
她和我说过你的事
She told me all about you, you know?
她说你精神有问题
That you have mental problems,
你有病 不愿意去寻求帮助
that you're sick and you won't get help,
她无法和你分手
and she couldn't break up with you
因为她怕你做出什么出格的事
because she was afraid you would do something.
她叫你姜饼男
She calls you the gingerbread man.
她想叫我什么就叫我什么
She can call me whatever she wants.
等我一下