公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）
Only Murders in the Building S02E01
Part 3
March 15, 2023, 10:06 a.m.
你们让谋杀案显得特别安逸
you guys just made it feel so... cozy.
知道吗 安逸的谋杀案
You know? Just cozy murder.
太棒了 另外
So good. Plus, I-I mean,
你们特别业余 所有人都是
y-you were so raw. You know, all of you, and just...
但你们不怕失败
And not afraid of bombing.
真的很浪费别人的时间
Just really wasting people's time.
让我想起了我刚入行做单口相声的日子 不对 是刚入行的那天
Reminded me of my early days doing stand-up. Well, day.
我进步很快 会有第二季吗
I got great pretty quick... Is there gonna be a second season?
第二季总是很有挑战
Well, second seasons are tough, you know,
但人们不断死去 所以我猜
but people keep dying. So, I suppose there's...
机会是有的
always a chance.
Oh.
你会考虑…
Would you ever consider, uh...
算了 太蠢了
Never mind. It-it's stupid.
-什么？ -不
- What? - No, it-it's...
就是…我不该开这个口的
I shouldn't have even opened my tiny mouth.
没事 说吧 什么？
Oh no, come on. What? What? What?
好吧 我刚想到一个主意
Okay. Well, I just had a thought...
你会考虑把播客的版权卖♥♥给我吗
Would you ever consider selling me the rights to the podcast,
我可以把它变成八到十集的流媒体剧集
so I could turn it into an 8-to-10 episode streaming series
提供独家互联网内容 可以衍生出游戏？
with exclusive internet content leading to gamification?
这是你刚想到的主意？
This is a thought you just had?
你肯定考虑过做成剧集吧
I mean, surely, you've considered developing it into a series.
如果我说我公♥寓♥里
Well, I'd be lying if I didn't say
没有一摞二百页的融♥资♥演讲稿
I had a 200-page pitch deck
那是在骗人
floating around my apartment somewhere.
好的 很好
Okay, good!
那来我家坐坐 我们会制定个完整计划
So, come by my place. We'll figure it all out.
好的
- Okay. - And, uh...
别忘了带只火鸡
don't forget to bring a turkey.
Oh!
-这是呼应 -这是呼应 太有梗了
- Callback! - That's a callback. So clever.
但一定要带上龙舌兰酒
But do bring tequila.
还有冰块 和酒杯
And ice. And a glass.
天啊 我爱这栋大楼
God, I love this building.
《布拉佐斯》正在和《黄金女郎》做交叉推广
And Brazzos is doing a cross-promotion with Golden Girls,
我们要上《密♥码♥》竞赛节目
so we go on Password,
而我的搭档是贝蒂·怀特
and my partner is Betty White,
她会把每条线索都变得很不正经
who turns every clue into, like, something naughty.
我要表现出很生气的样子
And I have to act outraged...
她是个好人
She was good people.
这些轶事我听一整天都不腻
- I could hear these stories all day. - Mm-hmm.
所以《布拉佐斯》是重启剧集的不二之选
That's why Brazzos is so perfect for a reboot.
我同意
You know, I agree with you
因为有时我调台的时候 我心里都在想
because sometimes I'm flipping through the TV, and I'm thinking,
“嘿 警♥匪♥片都哪去了”
"Hey, where are all the cop shows?"
因为感觉上有很多警♥察♥… 总之
'Cause th-there seems to be a lot of cop... Anyway,
你觉得这个提案会获得审批吗
so, do you think they're gonna go for this?
我们已经预定了一季
Oh. We're picked up for series already.
在美国哥伦比亚电视台播出 一共18集
Eighteen episodes on CBS.
很疯狂 是吧
- Whoa! - Crazy, right?
还有奈奥米·杰克逊加盟
With... Naomi Jackson.
（奈奥米·杰克逊 《布拉佐斯》
新剧集将于今年秋季推出）
我好爱她
I love her!
-她饰演谁？ -她饰演布拉佐斯
- Who's she playing? - She's Brazzos.
她…
She's...
（这将调查推向了一个全新的方向）
那我是…
And I would be...
布拉佐斯舅舅
Uncle Brazzos.
布拉佐斯舅舅
Uncle Brazzos...
这么说 奈奥米是我的…
And, uh, Naomi would be my...
侄女
- Niece. - Niece.
姻亲
- By marriage. - Uh-huh.
或者是一个很好的朋友 亲切地称呼你为舅舅
Or she's a friend who affectionately calls you "Uncle."
还没定 编剧正在写
Or something. The writers are spit-balling.
最开始我们是考虑过让你演的 但是
We had you in mind for this early on, but...
说实话 我们以为你死了
honestly, we thought you were dead.
选角导演把你划到“无档期/死亡”的类别里
The casting director had you listed as "NA/dead."
然后你开始登上各大报纸
Then you start popping up on all the front pages
头版 时机把握得太好了
of all the papers. Crazy great timing.
所以
So...
这份工作定了？ 我又能演布拉佐斯了？
is this an offer? I'm Brazzos again?
布拉佐斯舅舅 这是个常驻角色
Uncle Brazzos. It's a series regular.
前提是你别坐牢
As long as you stay out of jail.
♪ Look at me, look at me, butterfly,
keep it light when I get it done ♪
♪ Look at me, look at me, double
time on the ride when I beat my drum ♪
♪ Look at me, look at me, I don't
stop till I drop, yeah, keep it going ♪
♪ 'Cause everybody
know, everybody know ♪
♪ Everybody know, everybody know ♪
（南方艺术画廊）
太美了
Scorching.
你是本尊 对吧
Y-you're the real deal, aren't you?
-你说什么？ -血腥梅布？
- Excuse me? - Bloody Mabel.
-来张快速自♥拍♥？ -我…
- Here. Uh, quick selfie together? - Oh, I...
不如你快速消失？
How about a quick exit? For you.
祝你今晚愉快 先生 非常感谢
Have a good night though, sir. Thank you very much.
谢谢
Thank you.
-嗨 爱丽丝 -嗨 我很开心你能来
- Hi, Alice. - Hi. I'm really glad you came.
-我很开心你不是骗子 -不是
- I'm so glad you're not a catfish. - Nope. No, no.
童叟无欺
All too real.
不过你要小心那些虎视眈眈的人
Uh, but you better watch out for these piranhas, though.
希望你带了毛线针
I hope you brought your knitting needle.
我四岁时 我爸给我买♥♥了弗里达的拼图
My dad got me a jigsaw puzzle of Frida when I was 4.
有一千块
It was 1,000 pieces.
每块都很小 重复的花朵图案
Small ones with repeats of the same flowers.
我五岁生日的前一天拼完了
I finished it the day before I turned 5.
抱歉 你有一种
Sorry. There's just something...
摄人心魄的力量
uh, very compelling about you.
谢谢
Thank you,
但你对我一无所知
but you don't really know anything about me.
我知道四件事
Well, I know four things.
我知道有人叫你“血腥梅布”
I know some people are calling you Bloody Mabel,
我知道我喜欢你的作品
I know I like your art,
我知道我想要你这件裙子
I know I want that dress, and, um,
现在 我知道你小时候有个弗里达的拼图
now I know that you had a Frida puzzle as a kid.
我对你的了解仅限于
Well, all I know about you is that you like sliding into
你喜欢给人发私信
people's DMs,
你会喜欢我姨妈的衣柜
and that you'd like my aunt's closet.
因为这条裙子就是从里面拿的
Because that's where got this dress from.
是的 可能性很大
Yes, very likely. But,
但我不会随便给一个女人发私信
I don't just DM any old broad.
为什么是我？
Hm. Why me?
直觉吧
It's an instinct.
而且我们的小集体需要新鲜血液
And we could use some new energy in our collective.
所以 这算什么 招募吗
So, this is, what, a recruitment?
当然是招募 我做得怎么样
Hm. Total recruitment. How am I doing?
很得体 我可能需要个宣传册
Decently. I might need a pamphlet.
你知道 弗里达没有艺术硕士学位
You know, Frida didn't have an MFA.
她甚至没有一双健全的腿
She didn't even have two working legs,
但她有能吸引到所有人的天赋
but what she did have is natural talent and everyone's attention.
让你想起了什么人吗
Remind you of anyone?
看
是她吗
只要你有正确的支持
Look, it's not a bad place to start from,
这里会是一个不错的起点
as long as you have the right support.
不如你改天再来深入了解一下我们？
Why don't you come back and get to know our space?
这不是邪教组织吧
It's not a cult, right?
把你的画带上
Just bring your paints.
我只是需要听你亲口说 这不是邪教
I'm just gonna need to hear you say that it's not a cult.
说出来
- Mm. - Just out loud...
♪ Ain't nothing like the real thing ♪
♪ Ain't nothing like the real... ♪
在我的新播客《大楼里只有谋杀犯》当中
In my new podcast, Only Murderers in the Building,
我们将去探索阿卡尼亚
we will probe into the Arconia
和至今仍是
公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）
Only Murders in the Building
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