陪审义务（2023）

Ronald just keeps giving us every... - ...into that,
明天也很难握手言和
it would be really hard to recover tomorrow.
一次又一次地 我还以为
There was a parade of moments that I thought
我们要走投无路了
we're going to end everything,
因而我敢肯定没人...
that I thought surely no person
会允许这种情况继续发展下去
would allow this to continue past this point.
炒你鱿鱼 因为詹姆斯·麦斯登摆烂？
They let you go because of the James Marsden shutdown?
（第五天）
是啊 像狗仔队的事啥的
Yeah. -- like paparazzi thing and of all that.
我想法官很生气
I think the judges pissed.
请等一下 伙计们
Just hold on one second, guys.
（克里斯汀警官解释说 她搭档德鲁被解雇了）
她竟然拦住我们 就为了跟那苦逼的家伙
Um, she literally held us up just to kind of have like a little farewell
稍微道个别 我们只好站着傻等
hardy for the guy that-- while we're just standing there waiting.
哥们
Bro.
哥们 直接来正门
Bro, literally just come to the front.
稍等一下 我们想把主管叫过来
Just hold on one second. We're trying to call our supervisor down here
（马科斯·冈萨雷斯 "保安德鲁警官" / 编剧）
因为导致这情况的是...
because it's the result of the...
从他每天进门的那一刻起 就算上钩了
From the minute he walks in every single day, even if he's on the hook,
（凯芮·奥尼尔 "克里斯汀·苏高斯基警官" / 编剧）
毕竞他每天都必须通过金属探测器
every single day he needs to come through the metal detectors.
要是门口不太平 你的怒气就会飙升
If something's off at the door, then your hackles are up,
于是我意识到了 我可能就是这个导火索
and then I realized, like, "Oh, I could be the one who blows this."
那个保安居然叫珍妮
The security guard actually had Jeannie
用她的手♥机♥给他本人
take her phone and take photos of her, like,
和妹子合影
posing with this guy.
真太荒唐了
It was pretty ridiculous.
我最担心的一件事就是
The one that I was the most worried about
我要穿凳子裤去上法庭
was the one where I wear chair pants to court.
他用来坐的 是他的凳子 -他要坐这个？
So he sits on them. They're a chair for him. - He sits on that?
（还是第五天）
是的
Yes.
不 不行 -因为椅子不够
No. No. - Because there's not enough chairs in there. -
像电视真人秀一样
This is like reality TV show.
真是 真是心里慌得一批
It was-- it's just really, really scary.
脑补的场景就好比 对方坐了下来
To think that what's gonna happen is this person is gonna sit down
你凑上去说 嘿 问卷该怎么填？
and you're gonna say like, hey, do you know how to fill out this form?
他们说 你问这干嘛？
And they're gonna be like why'd you say that like that?
你是演员吗？ 都是假的？
Are you an actor? Is this all fake?
白♥痴♥ 你穿帮了
You're an idiot. You ruined it.
接着 当我穿这条凳子裤来到法庭
Then when I came into court with these chair pants,
我本以为这个举动
it was such a move that I thought
会直接造成罗纳德整个人
it would cause Ronald to just leave
大暴走 那个 或者精神崩溃
altogether or mentally check out.
你还等啥呢？ -哦 他们 他们...
What you waiting for? - Oh, they were-- they, they--
我不确定他们会不会要我把凳子裤拿去...
I wasn't sure if they wanted me to bring the chair pants in to the...
这个 大概不会 我觉得 -好吧
Uh, probably not, I would assume. - Okay.
知道吗？ 你这叫"常在河边走" 懂吗？
You know what, you take some risks sometimes, you know.
哪能不湿鞋
Not all of them pay off.
结果恰恰相反 他大力...
And the opposite happened. He was really
支持凳子裤
supportive of the chair pants
以及我将来成为这个
and, uh, my future as, uh,
发明家和工程师
an inventor and engineer.
我还在
I'm still
纠结这根本不是一场官司的事
reeling at the fact that this wasn't even a court case,
知道吗？ 我还没想通呢
you know, so I'm still there.
"希尔格罗夫诉莫里斯"一案历时17天
涉及12名证人、28项证据以及30多小时的呈堂证供
我觉得你演技精湛 -哦？谢谢
I thought you did a phenomenal job. - Why, thank you.
我们其实是律师兼演员
We are actually attorneys and actors.
（特丽莎·拉法切 "黛布拉·拉瑟" / 前诉讼律师）
很明显 你当然是照剧本演的 但...
Obviously yours was, I mean, scripted, of course, but man,
我当时想这老兄真是瞎胡闹 就像
I was like this guy is -- train wreck. Like,
就像...
like...
我当过民事诉讼律师 执业两年半 我...
I was a civil litigator in my two and a half years of practice and I,
打了九起官司
I tried nine cases.
（埃文·威廉姆斯 "肖恩·桑德斯" / 前诉讼律师 / 编剧）
转行当编剧很有意思 因为你们会说
It was interesting coming in to the writer's room because you guys were like,
"我们发现你是唯一一个"
"You were literally the only person that we have found
"能同时胜任这两份工作的人 拜托"
that is competent at both of these things, like, please."
如你们所看到的
As you can see here, uh,
我的当事人去上班了
my client showed up for work.
我们并没看过动画 就是
We didn't see the animation that
他手里的或控方律师手里的
he uses or that the plaintiff's lawyer uses.
我们和罗纳德都是第一次看到
We saw it with Ronald for the first time,
真是 这真是太过分了
which was that was, like, too much.
这是怎么了？
What's going on here?
他在边走边跳舞吗？
Is he dancing while walking?
陪审员先生 请勿发表任何评论 好吗？
Mr. Juror, please don't make any comments, okay?
真是 真不敢相信你们事先不给我们看
I was like, I can't believe you didn't show us that before.
我们有位证人 他...
We had a witness who
是一位了不起的演员
was a wonderful actor,
必须做大量技术性的发言 那是...
had to do a lot of technical stuff that...
五个花痴写的稿子
you know, five jerk-offs wrote for him.
CDU损坏 是由过热造成的
Uh, the CDU broke down and it was due to overheating,
从而导致机器无法工作
so it made the machine inoperable.
能为陪审团解释一下CDU代表什么吗
Can you explain for the jury what CDU stands for?
它是一台组合式干燥设备
It's a coalescing dryer unit.
你演得真好 我不知法官通常啥样 但...
I thought you did a great job. I don't know what a judge is normally like but
我想象中就是个凶老头...
I picture an old cranky judge just...
我从事法律工作已有40多年了
I've been practicing law for over 40 years.
我所做的就是去开导
What I kinda did was I channeled
（艾伦·巴林霍尔茨 "艾伦·罗森法官" / 退休律师）
出现在我职业生涯中的每一位法官
all the judges that I've appeared in front of throughout my career,
他们总是那么喜怒无常
who have just been moody as hell
毫无道理可言
for no rhyme or reason.
你认识约翰·雷森博格吗？
You know who John Ratzenberger is?
《饮胜》中的克里夫？
Cliff from Cheers?
他来过本法庭 在一场为期八天的审判中
He was in this courtroom. He was in an eight-day trial
当陪审员 他是一名模范陪审员
as a juror. He was an exemplary juror.
既然约翰·雷森博格不是干扰项
And if John Ratzenberger wasn't a distraction,
你就不是干扰项
you're not gonna be a distraction.
罗纳德对案件的兴趣之大出人意料
制♥作♥团队不得不疲于应付他
阴谋论开始在我心中浮现出来了
The conspiracy theorist in me is kinda starting to come alive
我只是在想 比如 他们那样做的动机是什么
and I'm just thinking about, like, why they would've done what they've done.
他尿裤子 这是我可见的 -对
He pissed his pants. That's what I've noticed. - Yeah.
（彩排）
并且他...我可以闻到大♥麻♥和酒精
And also that he-- I could smell pot and alcohol.
你觉得他浑身发臭
You thought he smelled off,
行 但这是因为他喝醉了
great. But if that's why, like, well, he's got to be drunk.
瞧瞧他 昏倒还尿裤子 -但不能明说
Look, look at him. He passed out and he pissed in his pants. - But don't say that.
不 没关系 -好的
No, no, that's okay. - Okay.
所以既然他身上有酒精、大♥麻♥的味道
So if he smelled of alcohol and marijuana,
那按道理来说 他们会给他做...
it would just make sense that they would give him a--
你懂的 药检
you know, a drug test.
我想说的是 正确的问题并没有被提出
The right questions haven't been ask, is what I would say.
我想他是说 就是 完全是...
I think he was like, I mean, really, it's kind of his fault
雇佣者的错 既然他如此...
for hiring him, like if this guy was such a...
罗纳德说的？ -对 他说他是公然...
Ronald said that? - Yeah. And he was like he's such a flagrant,
酗酒的醉鬼 -他怎么知道的？
like, drunk alcoholic... - How is he doing this?
为啥他像读了剧本
...like why, why He's read the script.
他读了 -他能分享吗？
He read it. - Could he share it with them?
他居然说
He literally was like,
"这是他们雇佣他的责任"
"It's kind of on them for hiring him."
既然明知他会搞砸 -他说的
If he knew he was getting -- up. - He was saying
真的很像读过了剧本 -没错
literally as if he read the script. - Yeah.
那么 Jorf衬衣呢？
So the jorf shirts?
瞎编的 -Jorf是捏造出来的
It's made up. - Jorf is made up.
对 没有这个词 是吗？
Yeah, so that's not a real word, right?
我想是的... -我们很担心这一招行不通
I was like, yeah, that's... - We were terrified that that wasn't gonna work.
比所有已知的污言秽语加起来还可恶？
More hateful than all known slurs combined?
在去工厂和玛格丽塔之乡录制的前一天
剧组宣布 拍摄因新冠疫情恐慌而被取消
但说到底...
But essentially
（制♥作♥会议 第七天）
开拍之前 由于陪审员人数众多
the start of business because of the critical mass of jurors
我要进行检测