陪审义务（2023）

谢谢 -好 伙计们走吧
Thanks. - Okay, guys, let's go.
再见
Bye.
有幸认识你 先生 -嗯 我也是 对
Good to meet you again, sir. - Yeah, it was very nice to meet you. Yeah.
再见 -他们说啥了？
Goodbye. - What'd they say to you?
他们对我说
They said that
他们只是...他们是爱国者
they were just, uh, they're, uh, patriotic.
伙计 我想告诉你 多亏这件衬衣才有位子
Dude, I want you to know, that shirt got us this table, so...
我只想说 你是英雄 -哦不
I just want you to know that you're the hero. - Oh, no, no, no.
别这么说 不必客气 没事 -托德
No, no, no. That's all right. No, no, no. - Todd.
嘿 莫名其妙 太奇怪了
Dude, I don't know. It was crazy.
我正跟他商量呢 他说 "哦 大概..."
I literally was talking to the guy and he's like, "Oh, like
"一刻钟" 知道吗？ 好吧
15 minutes," you know? "Yeah, thanks."
接着他说 "那衬衣男是你们同伴？"
And then he's like, "Well, that guy in that shirt," he's like, "Is he with you?"
我说是的 他说那是我们的同志
I was like, "Yeah." And he's like, "Oh, he looks like one of our people."
他冲他招手 作自我介绍
He waved him over, introduced himself.
他喜欢托德
Just he liked Todd.
干得好 托德 敬托德
There you go, Todd. Here's to Todd.
哦 好的 -敬托德 耶！
Oh, yeah. - To Todd. Yeah!
我是本桌的服务员萨曼莎
I'm your server, Samantha.
很高兴为各位效劳
I'm happy to take care of you.
已有不少顾客向我投诉
I did have some customers complain
关于你的衬衣
about your shirt.
说是...它是很不礼貌的东西
And it's something very offensive.
不 抱歉 我不是故意
No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
找茬的 或者说
cause any trouble or...
我不清楚其含义 -他们讲明白了没？
I didn't know what it meant. - Did they say what it meant?
呃 大概...
Like,
稍等 我查一下 -我们没手♥机♥ 查不了
hold on. I'm gonna look it up. - Yeah, we don't have our phones. We can't look it up.
我查查看
I'm gonna look it up.
网上说这是个暗号♥ 可以让"白人至上主义者"
It says it's a secret code for white supremacists
辨认出彼此
to identify each other.
啥？ -这下懵逼了
What? - That's insane.
白人至上主义者
White supremacists.
天呐 这说明
Oh, my God. What does that
刚才那一桌都是些什么人啊
tell you about that table who was just here?
我们...我们有些衬衣
We have some-- we have some shirts.
找件花衬衫给你 -谢谢 很抱歉
I'll go find a Hawaiian for you. - Thank you. I'm so sorry.
抱歉 好的 -好吧
I'm sorry. Yeah. - Uh... Okay.
嘿 我要把这里发生的事拍成电影
Dude, I'm gonna make a movie out of the movie that's being made here.
简直是神经病
This is insane.
哎哟 一个劲地出各种幺蛾子
Dude, there's so many crazy things that keep happening.
芭芭拉 你怎么不喝了？
Barbara, how's your drink?
我毫无醉意
I'm not feeling anything.
有点不对劲
There's something wrong.
伙计
Dude,
海蒂...海蒂要回到洛杉矶了
Heidi's back in LA
今晚
tonight.
所以...已经不存在...时差了
So, like, there's no more, like, time difference.
要我就趁今晚... -我今晚必须摊牌
I'd do it tonight. - Well, I gotta do it tonight.
嗯 你何不今晚联♥系♥她呢？ -没错
Yeah, why don't you just call her tonight? - Yeah.
你吃素多久了？
How long have you been vegan?
呃 我这辈子都这样
Um, since, uh, my whole life I was.
自从我断奶后 就一直吃素 对
Ever since I stopped breastfeeding, I was vegan, yeah.
你几岁的时候才断奶的？
How long did you breastfeed?
我想妮基刚才在问酒保喜不喜欢手铐
I think Nikki just asked the bartender if he likes handcuffs.
我知道自己的皮肤跟你的差不多 但...
I know my skin is, like, almost the same as yours, but...
信不信由你
believe it or not,
我是黑人 -哦 好的 我知道 对
I'm a Black person. - Oh, yeah, no, I know, yeah, yeah.
知道？ 你怎么知道？
You knew? How do you know?
因为你好像说过了
Um, because you said before, I think.
我没找到"伙食"在哪 有单独的菜单还是怎样？
I don't see vittles nowhere. Is that, like, a separate menu or what?
"伙食"是什么？
Oh. What are vittles?
普通饭菜
Honest food.
诺亚人呢？
Where is Noah?
这是我第三杯"双份"玛格丽塔了
That was my third double margarita.
完全不上头
I don't feel anything.
我清醒得很
I'm as sober as a judge.
他是不是帮你点成"无酒精"了？ -我要"双份"的
Has he been ordering you a virgin? - I did a double,
但感觉酒味不是很浓
but it didn't feel very strong.
谁尝一下诺亚喝的是啥
Someone taste what's in Noah's drink.
万一诺亚醉了还不自知就搞笑了
Oh, wouldn't that be so funny if Noah's getting drunk and didn't know it?
他知道的 -托德
Oh, he's gonna know it. - Hey, Todd,
找得到诺亚吗？
did you find Noah?
妈呀
Dude...
上帝啊 -那是我的"双份"吗？
Oh, my God. - That's my double?
杯子里妥妥的纯酒精 -他喝了
There is 100% alcohol in there. - He's had...
他喝了三个"双份" 还不会喝酒？
He's had three doubles and he doesn't drink?
诺亚 你还好吗？ -嗨
Noah, are you okay? - Hey.
嗯 我刚和女朋友进行了一次无厘头对话
Yeah, I just had a crazy conversation with my girlfriend.
你用什么打给她的？ -厨房♥里有电♥话♥
Well, how'd you call her? - There's a phone in the kitchen.
怎么了？ -我刚对她说
What happened? - I just told her that
快说 -寇弟的事
Come on. - the Cody thing
就是在放屁 -耶！
is bullshit. - Yeah!
我就知道
I knew it.
他醉了
He's drunk.
我说...我说 "你干嘛跟个小色批"
Yeah, I was like, "Why are you taking a picture with a guy
"在海滩合影？"
with a boner on the beach?
"他谁啊？"
Who is that guy?"
好奇怪 就像
It was so weird. It's like
我就这样突然自信心...爆棚了
I just got this sudden surge of, like, confidence.
所有从不敢对海蒂讲的话 我就...
All the stuff I never would have said to Heidi, I was like...
说出口了
I say it.
不知怎么搞的 好无厘头
I don't know what happened. It was crazy.
诺亚 你不在的时候 我尝了下这个
Noah, I tasted this while you were gone,
我想你喝醉了
and I think you drank.
杯子里是烈酒
There's liquor in there.
才怪 -她叫什么名字？
No. - What is her name?
诺亚 -真的 -诺亚
Noah. - Yeah. - Noah.
大家为诺亚鼓掌 -我做到了 伙计
Let's give it up for Noah. - I did it, man.
我照你说的做了
I did what you said.
我有点 我不知道是不是有点作死
I kinda-- I don't know if I kinda blew it up.
赶快成熟起来吧
Putting on those big boy pants!
干得漂亮
Good job.
你今晚会玩得很尽兴
You gonna have some fun tonight.
好小子
Oh, boy.
我要去嘘嘘了 -你们大家注意
Ah, I gotta go make dirty water. - Hello, all of y'all.
你们大家 别... -你眼神好凶
All of y'all, no-- - Your eyes are so intense.
我希望所有...别闹
I hope ev--nah.
首先
First of all...
得 你醉了
okay, you-- so you lit.
她醉了
She's drunk.
对 我看出来了 我还看出你们全昏头了
Yeah, I can clearly see that. I can also clear-- all y'all must be drunk.
怎么了？ -为什么结账金额高达
Why? - Why is this bill over
1500多？
$1500?
我的妈呀 -哇哦
Holy shit. - Wow.
是啊 我的妈呀
Yeah, holy shit.
咱们每天花多少钱在法♥院♥吃午饭？
How much do we spend on lunch every day in the courthouse?
每天 多少预算？
Every day, what's y'all budget?
15不带0 -我坐在那
Fifteen minus a few zeroes. - I'm sitting over there
啃个寒酸的汉堡 你们吃着
eating a lonely ass burger, and y'all got
墨西哥"火山"玉米片什么的
wokacano nachos and shit.
这不好笑
This ain't funny.
要是敢吃霸王餐 我会把你们统统抓起来
I will arrest every last one of y'all if this shit is not figured out.
这不好笑
It's not--it's not funny.
好吧 我掏腰包
Okay, I'll get my wallet out.
我根本就没带钱包
I didn't even bring my wallet.
我身无分文
I don't have any money.
那我们何不干脆让"那个谁"买♥♥单呢
Then why don't we just have what's-his-name get it?
谁？ -詹姆斯 -他很有钱
Who? - James. - He got money.
叫他付
Just ask him to pay.