燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E18

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 9:23 a.m.

Now what woman in this day and age would hide in a closet?
我要去吃午餐了一小时后回
I've got a lunch. I'll be back in an hour.
行了我知道这很讽刺
Yes, I am aware of the irony.
-可以走了吗 -走吧
- Shall we? - Let's.
我先走
Me first.
古驰将要新推出一款鞋子
You know, Gucci is about to unveil a new shoe.
六英寸的高跟而且有瘦大腿的效果
A six-inch heel that also tones your thighs.
再说一遍慢速一点
Say that again... only slower.
我可以给你拿到样品哦
I can get you a sample.
我穿六号♥半
I'm a 6-1/2!
完美的样品尺寸啊
Perfect sample size.
要点甜品了吗
You about ready to order dessert?
-让我看看... -抱歉
- Oh, uh, let's see... - Excuse me.
我吃了面包喝了两杯酒还有一份意面
I had bread, two glasses of wine and pasta.
所以只能来份负300卡路里的巧克力味甜品
So I need to find something chocolaty that's negative 300 calories.
你还好吧
Is everything okay down there?
没事
Oh, all good.
我真高兴你答应再次和我约会梅兰妮
Ah, I'm really glad you decided to go out with me again, Melanie.
你真的太完美了
You really are the perfect package.
从你美丽的脸庞
From the top of your pretty head
一直到你那...
all the way down to your...
性感无比的脚趾缝
super sexy toe cleavage.
我觉得亡妻男好像有恋脚癖
I think dead wife guy might be into feet.
也不是恋所有人的脚只是我的脚
Well, not all feet. My feet.
他喜欢我的脚
He likes my feet.
这么说他是个虾男
Oh, so he's a shrimper.
什么
A what?
虾男喜欢脚的男人
A shrimper. A guy who likes feet.
具体来说是喜欢脚趾
Well, actually toes to be exact.
因为脚趾看起来像小虾所以叫虾男
Because toes look just like baby shrimp, ergo shrimper.
你们这么一说
Well, when you put it that way,
我倒觉得...挺可爱的
you know, it's...kinda cute.
也许是我想错了
And maybe I'm wrong.
他只是注意到了我有双迷人的美足
I mean, all he did was notice that I have attractive feet.
梅兰妮男人是不会注意脚的
Melanie, men don't notice feet
除非他有恋脚癖
unless they're into feet.
他们甚至都不怎么注意脸的
Yeah, they barely notice faces.
什么事这么乐呵
What's so funny?
科林发来的短♥信♥
Oh, it's from Colin.
一个关于威尔士人的私房♥笑话
Private joke about the Welsh.
你们都已经有私房♥笑话了
You already have private jokes?
真是太好了
That is so delicious.
他绝对料不到接下来会发生什么
He is never going to see it coming.
我今晚能睡个安稳觉了
I am going to sleep like a baby tonight.
看来你和那家伙处得挺好嘛
You really seem to be having a good time with this guy.
你确定没对他动心吗
Are sure you're not falling for him?
当然没有我怎么可能会动心
Of course not. I would never fall for him.
那会毁掉所有计划的
That would ruin everything.
你真是个好姐们儿乔依
You're a good friend, Joy.
我动心了我把一切都搞砸了
I've fallen for him. I've ruined everything!
你怎么能这么快就动心呢一顿午饭而已
How could you be crazy about him already? It was just one lunch.
三小时的午饭
A three-hour lunch
期间我们一直谈笑风生
where we never stopped laughing or talking
接对方的话
or finishing each other's sentences.
确实他自大狂妄又油嘴滑舌的
I mean, sure, he's pompous and smarmy and arrogant.
如果他长得丑的话这种性格绝对令人讨厌
And in an uglier man, that would be unattractive.
但是你知道我的
But you know me.
相貌英俊的坏男人这就是我的软肋
Good-looking bad boy. That's my horse's head.
你居然对甜甜圈盒子做手脚
You booby-trapped the doughnut box
好让我像个疯婆子似的冲进来
to make me storm in here looking ridiculous.
告诉你一点都不管用
Well, it didn't work.
拜托维多利亚
Oh, come on, Victoria,
怎么可能是我故意害你呢
you can't possibly think I meant that for you.
你自己总在说 "我从不吃甜食
You're the one whose always saying, "I never eat sweets.
我意志坚强"
I've got willpower."
我刚只是有点低血糖而已
Yeah, well I was having a low blood sugar moment.
听着如果你还有点饿的话
Well, listen, if you're still a bit peckish,
吃块巧克力条吧我请客
have a three musketeers bar. My treat.
-谢谢 -又上当了吧
- Thank you. - Gotcha!
你这个幼稚又可悲的...
Oh, you juvenile, pathetic...
别太当真啦
Oh, get over it!
我是科林·库珀
Colin Cooper.
你好菲尔
Oh, hi Phil!
那个今晚我不去打扑克了有约在身
Yeah, I can't make the poker game tonight. I've got a date.
没错兄弟
Well, that's just it, mate.
我更想和乔依共度良宵
I would rather spend poker night with Joy
我觉得我们之间有可能修成正果
'cause I could see this really turning into something serious.
我动心了所以我就成娘们儿了
Oh, so I'm a woman because now I care about someone.
你才是个臭娘们儿
Well, you're the woman!
不别告诉他们几个
No, just don't tell the other guys.
就说我病了什么的
Just say I'm sick or something.
你还好吧你看起来有点紧张
Are you okay? You seem a little nervous.
没只是我想送你点东西
No, it's just that I got you something,
但又怕太唐突了
and I just hope it's not too soon.
比尔这是个戒指盒子
Oh, Bill. It's a ring box.
当然了
It most certainly is.
是个脚趾环
It's a toe ring.
当然了
It most certainly is.
我可以吗
May I?
好
Yes.
把蘸酱端出来吧姐摊上了只大虾
Break out the cocktail sauce, I'm dating a shrimper.
是嘛
Really?
你准备留着他还是甩了他
You gonna keep him or throw him back?
先留着吧
Keep him, I think.
我搬来克利夫兰就是为了尝试新事物的
I mean, that's why I moved to Cleveland. To try new things, right?
一个男人爱慕你的脚能糟到哪儿去
I mean, how bad could it be to have a guy worship your feet?
谁知道呢
Wouldn't know.
没有男人下到我那儿去
Never had a man travel that far south.
大多只是在中间地带短暂停留
Most just make a quick stop at the equator,
清空我的冰箱然后从车道上闪人了
empty my fridge, and peel out of the driveway.
女士们我有个天大的好消息
Ladies, I have fabulous news!
你开始玩彩弹了
You started playing paintball?
不不这只是科林的又一个恶作剧
Oh, no, no, it's just another one of Colin's pranks.
这也让我的好消息更激动人心
Which makes my fabulous news even more enjoyable.
我无意中听到科林打电♥话♥
I overheard Colin on the phone.
乔依他现在完全被你迷住了
Joy, he is genuinely crazy about you.
真的吗你确定
Really? Are you sure?
到时候你不仅挫了他的傲气
Not only are you going to destroy his ego,
还能彻底伤了他的心
but you are going to break the heart
他还真以为你们两个之间会有未来
of a man who truly thinks you have a future together.
知道吗为了让他更痛苦
You know, to prolong his agony,
也许你该让乔依跟他拖久一点
maybe you should let Joy string him along for a while.
说得对
Yes!
比如他在伦敦与我的家人过完圣诞节之后
Like after Christmas in London with my family.
-这招会彻底打垮他 -不行
- That'll really get him. - No, no!
你在说什么呀我都已经计划好了
What are you talking about? Now I had this all planned.
你今晚就得在门廊上把他给踹了
No, you were going to dump him on the porch tonight.
然后当他在发懵时
And while he's reeling in shock,
你摇响风铃作为信♥号♥♥
you'll ring the wind chimes, and that'll be my signal
我立马蹦出来幸灾乐祸
to come out and gloat.
你现在喜欢那风铃了是吧
Oh, so now you like the wind chimes.
我从文艺复兴集♥会♥上买♥♥回来时
When I bought them at the renaissance fair,
你说它很白♥痴♥
you said they were stupid.
本来就很白♥痴♥
Yeah, well they are stupid,
文艺复兴集♥会♥也很白♥痴♥
and so is the renaissance fair.
是吗你这么说只是因为
Oh, yeah? Well that's just because
你没被选中为骑士比赛的彩头姑娘
you weren't selected to be wench of the joust.
可能吧
Maybe.
总之最重要的是
Anyway, the important thing is
科林以后见乔依一次
Colin will never be able to look at Joy again
便会心碎一次