燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E05

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 9:21 a.m.

No. You lost your L.A. driving privileges
便失去了洛杉矶驾驶权
when you flipped off Tom Hanks.
阿甘同志开车像个送小孩去踢球的足球老妈
Forrest Gump drives like a soccer mom.
我以前也是足球老妈
I used to be a soccer mom.
还是女童军的队长
And a brownie leader.
珍娜的小队以前就围着这桌子开会
In fact Jenna's troop used to meet right around this table.
珍娜坐这里艾希丽坐那里
Jenna sat here. Ashley over there.
布兰妮甲布兰妮乙布兰妮丙
Britney B, Britney L, Britney R.
布兰妮丁她搬去里西达了
Oh, Britney L, she moved away to Reseda.
我们说过要常联♥系♥
We promised we'd keep in touch,
可是你懂的偏远的里西达
but, well, you know... Reseda.
我知道这房♥子里的东西我都用不上了
I mean, I know that I don't need anything in this house anymore,
可是每一件都充满了回忆
but just everything has a memory to it.
小甜心
Oh, sweetheart...
这里也有我的回忆
I have memories of this place too.
就是这个地方
This spot right here...
我站在这里被你的故事闷出鸟来了
This is where I was when I got bored with your story.
躺在医院的病床上叫我如何说出那番临终感言
How can I possibly deliver a dying speech from a hospital bed?
那些台词是为三点式而创作的
Those words were written for a bra and panties.
那些台词依然会感人的
It's still a great speech.
你在家穿戴整齐的排练时
You rehearsed it at home fully dressed,
最后一句总是次次让我落泪
and that last line made me cry every time.
你是说我风情万种地甩头发那句吗
You mean the one where I dramatically toss my hair?
也许这样你能从中获益
Maybe this could work to your advantage.
大奖的评委就是喜欢女演员有勇气
Award voters love it when actresses are brave enough
-以丑态示人 -我很丑吗
- to look hideous. - I'm hideous?
是的美丽的丑陋
Yes. Good hideous.
就像查理兹·塞隆在《女魔头》里那样
You know, like Charlize Theron in Monster.
你说得对
Oh, you're right.
评委们就是喜欢看美女变丑遭罪
The judges love it when beautiful people suffer.
但我不能白白饿肚子
But I didn't starve myself for nothing.
帮我把毯子掀开
Help me loosen these blankets.
贴着导尿管的美♥腿♥ 再怎么样也要露一点
At least I can show a little leg where they attached the catheter.
维多利亚开拍前我们对下新台词吧
Victoria, I thought we should go over the new pages before we shoot.
新台词
New pages?
-你不会连我的台词都改了吧 -一点点而已
- You didn't change my speech? - Just a pinch.
编剧认为之前的台词由我来说会更加合情合理
Oh, and the writers just felt it made more sense coming from me.
你这个外表可爱内心恶毒的小矮子
You conniving little tea cup poodle!
这是你一手策划的
You planned this all along.
拜托维多利亚
Oh, come on, Victoria.
就把这当作是《秃头与美人》的特别集好了
Just pretend it's a special episode of "The Bald and The Beautiful."
笑
Laugh!
我知道你有口难言可是我
I know you can't speak, but I...
我祈求你能听见我说话
I pray that you can hear me.
看到你如此不幸的样子
Seeing you in this miserable state,
我禁不住觉得自己也有部分的责任
I can't help but feel partly responsible.
如果我能在那儿提醒你
If only I'd been there to warn you
丽莎对楼梯做了手脚
that Liza has sabotaged the stairway.
我原谅你
I forgive you.
停她又说话了
Cut! She's talking again.
我只是觉得
You know, I was just thinking
观众会喜欢看到
how much the viewers would love it
苏珊说台词的时候我突然醒了过来
if I suddenly woke up right in the middle of Susan's speech.
如果维多利亚不满意她的戏份
You know, if Victoria's not happy with her part,
可以打发她回家
we could just send her home
找个椰子涂上口红就行
and slap some lipstick on a coconut.
没人可以看出来区别
No one would know the difference.
我想观众还是会看出我和椰子的区别
I think people would know the difference between me and a coconut.
我们给椰子化个老年妆就行了
We could age the coconut.
我知道你无法说话
I know you... can't speak...
可是我
But I...
可是我祈求你能听见我说话
but I pray that you can hear me.
好好休息亲爱的朋友
Rest, dear friend.
如果我能在那儿提醒你
If only I had been there to warn you
丽莎对楼梯做了手脚
that Liza had sabotaged the stairway.
为什么我们总是让嫉妒之心
Why did we always let petty jealousy
蒙蔽双眼而无法看到真正重要的东西
blind us to what's really important?
爱
Love...
同情
Compassion...
友谊
Friendship.
她咬我
She bit me!
餐厅领班说他的助理打电♥话♥来取消订位了
The Maitre d' said his assistant just called and cancelled.
我们不知道雷德福先生现在在哪里就餐
We do not know where Mr. Redford is eating now.
你最好赶紧打听
Well, you better find out.
别逼我像查理·辛那样在这个破地方发癫耍泼
Unless you want me to go all Charlie Sheen on this dump.
好了好了
All right, all right,
我似乎听到他今晚会上《吉米·坎摩尔秀》
I may have heard something about him being on Jimmy Kimmel tonight.
我们走
Let's roll.
爱尔卡爱尔卡我不能送你去坎摩尔秀片场
Elka, Elka... I can't drive you to Kimmel.
我跟要买♥♥我房♥子的小夫妻约好了
I'm meeting the couple that are buying my house.
好吧
Fine!
我让《虎胆龙威》那位送我去
I'll get Die Hard over there to take me.
嘿秃头[布鲁斯·威利斯] 等一下
Hey, baldy, wait up.
你从残骸中拽出的不是我
"It wasn't me you pulled from the wreckage.
是我的双胞胎弟弟艾利克斯
It was my twin brother Alex.
他假扮我来操控钱德勒集团
He was impersonating me to get control of Chandler Enterprises."
那我撒在海里的骨灰是艾利克斯的
"Then it was Alex's ashes I scattered at sea."
打扰下
Excuse me.
-见鬼 -怎么了
- Oh, crap! - What?
被甩的旧情人杀上门了
It's a blast from my past.
打扰下
Excuse me.
很明显你不记得我了
You obviously don't remember me,
所以我再自我介绍一次
so let me reintroduce myself.
老娘是准备给你毁容的人
I'm the woman who's about to rip the blue right out of your eyes.
冷静点没错我不记得你
Slow down. You're right, I don't remember you.
好奇怪哦像你这么貌若天仙又疯狂的女人
Which is odd because gorgeous, crazy women
通常是很难忘记的
are usually so hard to forget.
我是疯了居然在天台酒吧相信你的鬼话
Crazy was falling for your line at Sky Bar
我该用泰瑟枪电死你这"胡说九道"的混♥蛋♥才对
instead of tasering you in your Jackson Pollocks!
胡说八道的意思这是押韵的俚语
Bollocks! It's rhyming slang.
我是英国人跟你说过的
I'm English. We talked about this!
-你是说天台酒吧吗 -正是
- Did you say Sky Bar? - Uh-huh.
老天真不敢相信他又出手了
God, I can't believe he's doing it again.
听我说小姐这话说出来都没人信
Look, miss, this is gonna sound a little nutsy,
可你遇到的不是我是我的弟弟
but it wasn't me you met. It was my brother.
-弟弟 -我的双胞胎弟弟艾利克斯
- Brother? - My twin brother... Alex.
少来这套
Oh, please.
你真指望我相信你有个邪恶的双胞胎弟弟
You seriously expect me to believe you have an evil twin?
是真的
It's true.
有时候我都无法区分他们两个
Sometimes I can't even tell 'em apart.
艾利克斯嫉妒我的名气
You see, Alex is jealous of my fame,
所以他利用我的身份
so he uses my name to...
追求模特
pick up models.
得了吧
Oh, come on!
我是说我哪里像模特啊
I mean... I hardly look like a model.
我只是猜想
Well, I just assumed.
知道最糟糕的是什么吗
And you know what the worst part is?
艾利克斯肯定正在某处
Alex is obviously out there somewhere
追求那些漂亮到我都没勇气搭讪的女性
picking up women I'd be too intimidated to even talk to.
我觉得你应该多给自己一点信心
Well, I think you're being a little hard on yourself.
乔依乔依蓝色警报我需要你
Joy. Joy, code blue. I need you.
我得走了
I have to go.
也许稍后我们可以聊得更深入些
But maybe we can talk some more later?
那是一定的
You can count on it.
你不去传授演技真是太浪费了
You really should teach.
你怎么还是这副打扮
Why are you still dressed like that?
露琪总是演砸
Oh, Lucci keeps ruining our scene,
所以午餐后重新再拍
so we're re-shooting after lunch.
这意味着我们只有一小时
Which means that we only have an hour
来制定旁门左道的反击大计
to create a devious retaliation plan,
非常复杂曲折的高招