燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E08

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 9:21 a.m.

is her ignorance of the game.
我就不能... 直接跟他上♥床♥吗
Couldn't I just, you know, sleep with him?
混个犄角旮旯儿的位置谁稀罕我要的是场边票
I don't want the cheap seats. I want courtside.
好了我有个问题
All right, I have a question.
那个转会去了迈阿密的球员
The guy who left to play for Miami,
名字发音为"勒布朗" 还是"勒布让"
is his name pronounced "Le-bron" or "Le-braun"?
在这个家发音为"叛徒"
In this house, it's pronounced traitor!
你一整天去哪里了
Where have you been all day?
我无足轻重
Oh, let's not make this about me.
还是来说说你你还有你
I'm more interested in you and you... and you.
你抽什么风
What's wrong with you?
我没抽风
There is nothing wrong with me.
我只是对朋友的事感兴趣
I'm just interested in my friends,
和其他讨人喜欢的人一样
like any likeable person.
我将和克利夫兰骑士队的教练约会
Okay. Well, I have a date with a coach from the Cleveland Cavaliers.
我和一个流浪汉订婚了
And I'm engaged to a homeless man.
他今天会搬进来
He's moving in today.
这... 真是个温暖人心的意外惊喜
What... a... heartwarming surprise.
我知道这是个荒唐的要求
Look, I know what an incredible imposition this is,
但事实上他挺不错的
but he's actually a pretty good guy.
和我们没什么不同
No different from any of us.
亲爱的我回家啦
Honey, I'm home!
你好未婚夫
Hi... fiance.
现在把你的"好姐妹"介绍来听听吧
Now, please, introduce me to your sister-wives.
这是梅兰妮和爱尔卡
Well, this is Melanie and Elka.
我是维多利亚
And I'm Victoria.
-认识你很高兴 -在下的荣幸
- Delighted to meet you. - Charmed.
真是个漂亮的家
Oh, such a beautiful home!
所有小装饰我都喜欢
I love all the little touches.
喜欢冠状线板看啦
Like the crown molding and... oh!
窗户上装的是玻璃不是垃圾袋
Windows with glass instead of trash bags!
我们在车♥库♥为你准备了帆布床
We've set up a cot for you in the garage.
帆布床
Oh, a cot!
我绝不允许
I won't hear of it.
你个贱妇
You bitch!
不我的意思是你应该睡客房♥
No, I mean you must stay in our guest room.
-我带你去 -谢谢
- I'll show you the way. - Thank you.
能来你们家我真是太感激了
I'm so grateful to be in your home.
你们肯定每天醒来都觉得好幸福
You must wake up every day feeling blessed.
不准碰我的东西
Don't touch my stuff!
真是个迷人的家伙
Oh, what a charming fellow.
人类真是有意思
Humans are so... interesting.
好了你撞什么邪了
Okay, why are you being so weird?
我只是在做正常的乐观的讨人喜欢的自己
I'm just being my normal, upbeat, likeable self.
上帝啊我的事业算是黄了
Oh, god, my career is over!
出什么事了你说什么呢
What's wrong? What are you talking about?
我没好意思告诉你们
I was embarrassed to tell you guys,
我去了一家地方新闻台试镜
but I auditioned for a job at a local TV News station.
人家没要我
I didn't get it.
他们觉得我"不讨人喜欢"
They found me "Unlikable."
-胡说八道 -你可好了
- That's ridiculous. - You're wonderful.
至少你比乔依要讨我喜欢些啊
I like you better than Joy.
他们希望我报道有趣的人物新闻
They wanted me to do human interest stories,
可你们知道我对人类没什么兴趣
but you know that I have no interest in humans.
除了你们几个
Except for you guys.
天呐我需要这份工作
Oh, god, I need this job.
你可是个了不起的演员啊
So... you're a great actress.
继续
Go on.
假装有兴趣不就行了
Pretend to be interested.
假装太对了太对了
Pretend! Oh, you're right. You're right.
我完全没上道啊
I've been going about this all wrong.
不我只需要把这个当成
No, I just need to think of this
我要扮演的角色就行了
as another role I'm playing.
这个有点像那些请我主持的
You know, it's kind of like when they ask me to host
慈善活动
those charity functions.
我只需假装关心就行
I just need to pretend to care.
面对人称"歌♥剧男"的流浪汉
And for the homeless man known as "opera guy,"
这位异常苗条的女士唱出了一首爱情之歌♥
this far-from-fat lady has sung a song of love.
这里是《噢嗨俄亥俄》维利·蔡斯为您报道
Well, for "Oh Hi, Ohio", this is Vicki Chase saying
爱之曲
that's amore!
接下来是天气趣报
And for s'amore on the weather,
格伦将会告诉大家春天的咏叹调已经降临本地区
here's Glenn to tell us if spring is in the aria.
精彩这才叫本垒打
Wow. Now that is a home run.
或者叫做「本垒打到流浪汉」
Or perhaps you should say a homeless run.
天呐你这双关太有才了
No, you did not say that!
怎么样
So?
欢迎加入俄州东北第三电视台
Welcome to northeast Ohio's number three television station.
跟一个如此了解篮球的女人在一起感觉真好
It's so great to be with a woman who knows so much about basketball.
对战底特律活塞队你觉得谁适合做大前锋
So who do you think we should start at power forward against Detroit?
就说我觉得安坦·杰米森不错
Say, "I'd go with Antawn Jamison."
我觉得安坦·杰米森不错
I'd go with Antawn Jamison.
虽然年纪不小了但活力十足不输给小年轻
You know, he's old, but he has a lot of gas left in his tank.
以前勒布朗也这么说
You know, LeBron used to say the same thing.
-你们关系不错吗 -铁哥们
- Oh, were you guys close? - Super close.
我将所有希望与梦想都寄托在他身上
Had all my hopes and dreams invested in him.
和所有克利夫兰人一样我还伤心着呢
And just like the rest of the city, it still hurts.
至少他每年都还会回来打几场
Well, at least he'll come back and play a couple times a year.
挺有意思的是吧
That should be fun, right?
我还以为你们三个当中属你最蠢
And I thought you were the dumb one.
女士们家里的澡堂子真是
Ladies... the shower!
犹如天使的小便在人间
Like the piss of angels!
你看着真精神啊说不定能骗过去呢
You clean up really well. This might actually work.
你有见到我的塑料猫头鹰"颤音"吗
Have you seen my plastic owl Vibrato?
他保护我不被松鼠攻击
He protects me from squirrels.
如果全是这样的表白我还是不抱希望的好
Although it has less of a chance with statements like that.
防守是夺冠之道
Defense wins championships.
我的一个兄弟也喜欢这样自言自语
I got a buddy that talks to himself too.
不是她戴了蓝牙
No, she's on Bluetooth.
什么东西毒品吗
What's that like, meth?
这是移♥民♥局可能会问的问题的答案
Look, here are some answers to questions the I.N.S. might ask us.
请尽量全部记住
Please try to memorize them.
"乔依睡在床的右边
"Joy sleeps on the right side of the bed.
我睡左边"
I sleep on the left."
"如遇英国出战世界杯
"Unless England's in the world cup,
便无人睡觉轻轻咯咯笑"
then nobody sleeps, small chuckle."
"轻轻咯咯笑"不用说出来
No, you don't say "small chuckle."
是要你轻轻地咯咯笑
You chuckle small-y.
面对现实吧勒布朗是勒了个去
Face it Lebron is Le-gone!
面对现实吧勒布朗是勒了个走了
Face it, LeBron is Le-outta here.
这妞真不听指挥
Oh, she's gone rogue.
你说得对我不该老惦记着他了
You're right, I gotta let him go.
去吃晚餐好吗
Would you like to go to dinner?
-有好的地方推荐吗 -老天多的是
- You got a favorite place? - Oh, my gosh, dozens.
克利夫兰有好多不错的餐馆
Cleveland has so many great restaurants.
这也是我喜欢这里的原因之一
That's another thing I love about this city.
太好了我可不希望克利夫兰
Great. I would hate to think that Cleveland was
只是你去大城市的跳板
just some stepping stone for you to a larger market,
比如说芝加哥纽约迈阿密
like Chicago, New York... Miami.
不会我会留在这里
No, no, I'm staying.
以前勒布朗也这么说
That's what Lebron used to say.
听我说别再难为自己了
Hey, listen, you gotta stop beating yourself up.
又不是你叫勒布朗转会去迈阿密的
I mean, it's not like you told LeBron to go.
其实吧真是我说的
Uh, actually, I did.
我本来是想用"逆向心理"刺♥激♥他留下
You see, I was trying this reverse-psychology thing, and...
原来全怪他
He's to blame!
老娘要宰了这个狗东西
I'm gonna kill that mother...
维多利亚·蔡斯北极熊俱乐部
噢嗨俄亥俄
Oh, hi!, Ohio.
维利·蔡斯正在伊利湖为您现场报道
It's Vicki Chase live from the shores of Lake Erie.
不是所有人都觉得克利夫兰的冬天是难以忍♥受的
Not everyone finds our Cleveland winter weather hard to take.
事实上
In fact,