燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E06

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 9:21 a.m.

燃情
克利夫兰
第二季第六集
《燃情克利夫兰》前情提要
Previously on Hot in Cleveland...
我第一次来洛杉矶
But this is my first trip to L.A.,
这是罗伯特·雷德福最喜欢的餐厅
and this is Robert Redford's favorite restaurant.
少来这套
Please!
你真指望我相信你有个邪恶的双胞胎弟弟
You seriously expect me to believe you have an evil twin?
一个朦胧的身影出现在你的上方
A dim figure hovers above you.
你十分害怕地醒过来然后意识到
You wake up horrified and realize...
我得走了
I have to go.
也许稍后我们可以聊得更深入些
But maybe we can talk some more later?
那是一定的
You can count on it.
爱尔卡我把买♥♥卖♥♥搞砸了
Oh, Elka, I think I blew the sale!
谁在乎啊
Who cares?
我知道罗伯特·雷德福在哪里了
I found out where Robert Redford is.
把我藏起来
Hide me.
我想我杀了苏珊·露琪
I think I killed Susan Lucci.
我好害怕我们不该这么做
I'm scared. We shouldn't be doing this.
别发牢骚了没什么好怕的
Stop whining, there's nothing to be afraid of.
嘿死人老弟
Hey, dead guy.
这是罗伯特·雷德福的电影吗
Is this the Robert Redford movie?
我倒是想啊大姐去19号♥摄制棚看看吧
I wish, lady. Try Stage 19.
不好意思真对不起
Oh, excuse us, so sorry,
我好喜欢罪案剧
but I love these crime show dramas.
看我学大卫·卡鲁索
Check out my David Caruso.
《犯罪现场调查: 迈阿密篇》的男主
在剧中的招牌动作就是摘墨镜
看来这些不速之客已经破坏了现场
It looks like these crashers... have wrecked the scene.
等等还有我还可以模仿一个
Oh, wait, wait. I got another one, I got another one.
我想想
Let me see...
看来这片场
It looks like this set
棋逢对手了
has met its match.
你什么毛病啊
What is wrong with you?
谁人乐队唱的
It's The Who.
这是《犯罪现场调查:迈阿密篇》的主题曲
It's the theme song to CSI Miami.
请原谅我的朋友
Sorry about my friend.
她...
She's...
疯了
lost her mind.
早上好露琪女士感觉如何
Morning, Ms. Lucci. How are you feeling?
好多了谢谢
Oh, much better, thank you.
报纸上铺天盖地的全是
Oh, the newspapers are filled with stories
疯子维多利亚·蔡斯袭击你的报道
about that crazy Victoria Chase attacking you.
小报上宣称你已经死了
And the tabloids are claiming you're dead.
如果是真的我就身处天堂了
Well, if I am, I'm in heaven.
他们用的是维多利亚穿泳装的丑照
They used that hideous old photo of Victoria's thighs
瞧她这恶心的大腿
in a bathing suit.
要来点酸奶干酪吗[大腿上的脂肪团]Cottage cheese?
一块一块的
Large curd.
你是指干酪啊谢谢不了我已经开心到饱了
Oh, thank you, no. I'm too happy to eat.
为了见你蔡斯女士已经在外面等了一早上了
Oh, Ms. Chase has been waiting outside all morning to see you.
对于这次事故她感到非常不安
She's very upset about the accident.
你没有告诉她我没事吧
You didn't tell her I was all right, did you?
当然没有
Oh, no, no!
和应付媒体的话一样
We told her the same thing we told the press:
关于露琪女士当前的状况
"We're not releasing any information
请恕我们无可奉告
about Ms. Lucci's condition at this time."
很好可以了
Good. All right, then.
请叫她进来吧
Please, send her in.
但首先我们来娱乐一下
But first, just for fun...
假装我在昏迷中
Let's pretend I'm in a coma.
昏迷
A coma?
是啊我和维多利亚可喜欢互相逗着玩了
Yes, Victoria and I just adore playing little tricks on each other.
我把她的出生证明发给"维基解密"
I sent her birth certificate to Wikileaks...
我在抽动秽语综合症慈善会演讲时她就来找碴
and she heckled my speech during the Tourette's benefit...
幸好会场秽语的海洋将她的脏话掩盖了
Luckily, nobody noticed.
相信我她会喜欢的
Trust me, she'll love it.
太激动人心了
This is so exciting!
扮昏迷的演技你是无人能敌
No one does a coma better than you!
你的小嘴可真甜
You're sweet.
真讨厌
This is horrible.
媒体对我的新男友迈克尔·奈特压根是只字未提
They don't mention my new boyfriend Michael Knight at all.
只是说同剧组演员祈祷奇迹发生
Just "Fellow cast members are praying for a miracle."
拜托你关注下真正的悲剧好不好
Can we please focus on the real tragedy here?
我腿上的这块图案不是脂肪团
This pattern on my thighs is not cellulite!
很明显我是刚从藤椅上起来
Clearly I'd just gotten up from a wicker chair.
你应该更关心苏珊的事才对吧
Shouldn't you be a little more concerned about Susan?
她这是装受伤博新闻呢
Oh, she's just faking for attention.
如果她真伤得很厉害
I mean, if she were really hurt,
医院早就被媒体围得水泄不通了
there'd be a million cameras outside the hospital...
害我白打扮一场
which I dressed for.
我的新男友迈克尔·奈特
My new boyfriend Michael Knight,
昨晚为苏珊的事伤心极了
was so grief-stricken last night about Susan,
我们做完之后他就叫我离开
he asked me to leave right after we had sex.
他不想让我见到他哭泣
He didn't want me to see him cry.
太感性了
So sensitive!
而且他的床技比他弟弟强多了
And he's much better in bed than his brother was.
都说"同卵双胞胎"是一模一样
Although when they say "identical twins,"
相信我真是"哪里"都一样
trust me, they're not kidding.
蔡斯女士
Ms. Chase?
护士有什么新闻吗
Yes, nurse, is there any news?
还是报道新闻的人来了?
Or any news crews?
恐怕露琪女士仍然在昏迷中
I'm afraid Ms. Lucci's still in a coma.
昏迷
A coma?
好耶
Yay!
不是为苏珊"耶"的她太惨了
Oh, no, not "Yay!" about Susan, obviously that's tragic.
我的新男友迈克尔·奈特发消息给我
My new boyfriend Michael Knight just texted
说他要开全新的法拉利带我去马里布吃晚餐
that he wants to take me to dinner in Malibu in his brand new Ferrari!
当然在这种场合下还是要以沉痛的心情为主
Which of course doesn't make this moment any less poignant.
昏迷真的吗
A coma? Really?
我的天
Oh, my god!
我们要去超贵的Nobu餐厅吃寿司
We're having Sushi at Nobu!
我可以见她吗
Could I possibly see her?
-好的不过只能一会儿 -好的
- Okay, but just for a moment. - Right.
友情提示你的新男友迈克尔·奈特
FYI, your new boyfriend Michael Knight
睡过我最好的朋友许下各种空头支票后
slept with my best friend, made her all these promises,
就再也没打过电♥话♥了
and never called.
你说什么别走
What? Oh, no, wait!
她确认是迈克尔吗
Is she sure it was Michael?
他的双胞胎弟弟艾利克斯
Because his twin brother Alex
以前也用他的名号♥来泡过我
pulled exactly the same trick on me once.
他的双胞胎弟弟艾利克斯
His twin brother Alex?
妹子睡醒没
Seriously?
看来你没有看过那部电视剧
Oh, you don't watch the show, do you?
不是每日必看怎么了
Oh, not every day. Why?
迈克尔扮演的角色有一个邪恶的双胞胎弟弟
Michael's character had an evil twin brother Alex
在剧中假扮他
who impersonated him.
什么
What?
苏珊
Susan...
我知道你有口难言可我祈求你能听见我说话
I know you can't speak, but I pray you can hear me.
看到你如此不幸的样子我禁不住
Seeing you in this miserable state, I can't help it...
我这是怎么了
Oh, what am I doing?
难道我肤浅到
Am I really so shallow
只能盗用那些长得太寒碜
that I can only quote words written by people
当不了演员只能去混编剧的人写的台词吗
not pretty enough to be in front of the camera?
好了其实我想说
All right, the truth is,
看到你这般令人心碎却...
seeing you here in this heartbreaking, yet,
竟然如此亮丽光鲜的模样
oddly well-groomed state...
对于很多事情我真心地向你道歉
I'm honestly sorry for... well, for so many things.
我曾经对你恶毒地挖苦虚伪地奉承
For the venomous digs and the backhanded compliments.
你站在巅峰让我嫉恨你跌入低谷令我狂喜
For resenting your successes and reveling in your defeats.
我还把草莓往你的道具纸巾上蹭
For rubbing that strawberry on your prop kleenex
好让你这漂亮的小脸蛋儿肿得像个沙滩球
so that your perfect little face would blow up like a beach ball...