燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E06

Part 3 May 4, 2020, 9:21 a.m.

最后几句剧本上根本没有
Those last lines... they weren't even in the script!
我知道今天我躺在医院的病床上时
I know. I was just lying in my hospital bed today,
这些话便蹦出来了
they just came to me.
你就躺着说谎吧
"Lying" all right.
能写会演
Writing and acting,
她真是样样精通的奇才
is there anything this one cannot do, hmm?
坦白说这一切得归功于维多利亚
To be honest, I owe it all to Victoria.
谢谢你苏珊
Well, thank you, Susan.
她所表现的没有生命力的植物人
Her portrayal of a lifeless vegetable
太有说服力了令我的表演不费吹灰之力
was just so convincing that it made my job effortless.
罗伯特
Oh, Robert.
没想到你也深深地爱着我
I can't believe you feel the same way too.
至于吗
Really?
你真觉得罗伯特·雷德福
You honestly think Robert Redford's
会望穿这片虚构的海洋
going to look across this imaginary ocean
向你求婚
and ask you to marry him?
这画面已经在我脑海里盘旋30年了
He's been doing it in my head for 30 years.
爱尔卡
Elka!
女佣是人肉背景没有说话的份儿
The servants should be seen and not heard.
好的我们会后期电脑合成
Okay, remember, we are going to CGI-in
暴风雨和海洋
the storm and the ocean.
但你们要演出寒冷的感觉
But we need you to pretend to be freezing,
表现出迫切想被营救的心情
and you are desperate to be rescued, all right?
好了准备开拍
Okay, we're ready to shoot!
可罗伯特·雷德福还没到呢
Oh, but Robert Redford isn't here yet.
大姐这是第二工作组
Lady, this is second unit.
他什么意思
What does that mean?
就是说这出戏里不会有大明星驾临
It means there are no stars in this scene.
所以我们纯粹是浪费时间
So this has just been a big old waste of time.
爱尔卡这衣服穿着好痒我受不了了
And Elka, these things are really itchy, I can't stand it.
我们还是走吧
Maybe we should just go.
不走他在剪辑时会见到我的
No, he'll see me in editing.
他会说这位美丽的临时演员是谁啊
And he'll say, "Who is that beautiful extra?"
千山万水他也会找到我
And he'll track me down...
真是异想天开我出疹子了
That's ridiculous, I'm starting to get hives.
我们还是走吧
Can we just please go?
好吧
Oh, all right!
也许我能混个单独监禁
Maybe I'll get a solitary cell.
被人捅的机会少些
Less likely to get shanked.
好吧知道吗
Fine. Hey, you know what?
往好处想
On the bright side,
好歹我也算出演了罗伯特·雷德福的电影
I get to be in a Robert Redford movie, right?
开拍海浪准备
And action! Cue the waves.
海浪
Waves?
记住现在天寒地冻
Remember, it's freezing.
你们怕得要死又一浪来了
You're terrified. Oh, here comes another one.
什么
What?
现在注意了
Now, over your shoulder...
老天最大的一浪马上来了
Oh, god, here comes the biggest one yet.
不要啊
Noooo!
打电♥话♥给我
Call me.
耳朵里的水弄不出来
I can't get the water out of my...
出来了
Oh, there we go.
也许我生来就不是谈恋爱的料
Maybe I'm just not meant for romance.
我是不是脑子少根弦啊
Maybe I'm missing a chip or something.
亲爱的这事错不在你
Oh, sweetie, it's not your fault.
任何人都有可能碰上
I mean, it could have happened to anybody.
和同一个人玩两次一♥夜♥情♥
A one-night stand with the same man twice?
我怎么蠢成这样
How could I be so stupid?
公平地说人家是靠演戏吃饭的
Well, to be fair, he is a professional actor,
他让你相信了他就是自己邪恶的双胞胎兄弟
and he had you convinced that he was his own evil twin.
-我的天呐 -我懂我懂
- Oh, my god! - I know, I know.
我们坐在这桌子旁
How many times have we sat around this table
数落过多少次你那些差劲男友
hashing over your bad boyfriends?
重婚犯埃里克
Eric, the bigamist...
养了蚂蚁农场的唐纳德
Donald with the ant farm...
变性手术前的安迪
Pre-op Andy...
然后尴尬地变成了初次约会的安德莉亚
who turned into awkward first-date Andrea...
我需要咖啡
I need coffee.
做了整晚的露琪恶梦
I had Lucci nightmares all night.
我感觉她的小爪子还搭在我的嘴上
I can still feel that little muppet hand on my mouth.
乔依有好消息告诉你
Well, Joy has good news for you.
我给剧组打了电♥话♥
I called All My Children
威胁说我将告某男演员性骚扰
and threatened a sexual harassment suit against a certain actor
除非他们删掉医院的戏份并重新为你写我就不告
unless they kill the hospital scene and wrote you a new part.
下周重新开拍
They're flying you out again next week.
乔依谢谢你
Oh, Joy, thank you!
你居然为了我玩这种阴招
The fact you would do something so conniving for me...
你真是我的知己
Well, you're a true friend.
我的新角色是什么样的
So, what kind of part is it?
满头秀发
One with hair.
他们保证情节会很有料
And they promised me it would be juicy.
很好只要有我离开前
Oh, well. If it's half as juicy as the strawberry
往苏珊的润肤露里挤的草莓一半有料
I squeezed into Susan's moisturizer before I left...
我就会开心死了
I'm going to be thrilled.
梅梅亲爱的出什么事了吗
Mel, honey, is there something wrong?
她还在为卖♥♥家具的事伤心呢
She's still upset about selling her furniture.
不是家具的事就由它去吧我只是...
No, no, I've resigned myself to the furniture. I just...
现在我只是为卖♥♥掉房♥子而难过
Now I'm just sorry I sold the house.
亲爱的一切都会好起来的
Aw, sweetie, it's going to be okay.
这是好事这是你希望的
It's a good thing. It's what you wanted.
没错可当我从窗户望出去
I know, but when I look out these windows,
我还能看到孩子们在后院玩耍的身影
I can still see my kids playing in the yard.
透过其它窗户是不可能看到的
No other windows can do that for me.
还有这个门柱
And this door jamb,
就是在这里为孩子们量身高的
this is where I measured the kids' height.
看我们第一次做圣诞曲奇时
Look, this is how tall Jenna was when we made
珍娜就是这么高
Christmas cookies for the very first time
她把碗弄掉了就在这里
and she dropped the bowl. Right there...
看见没这里有个小小的裂缝
See? There's this little crack in the...
叫我如何跟这裂缝说永别
How am I going to say goodbye to that crack?
不知道但你最好动作快点
I don't know, but you better make it quick,
我们要搭中午的航♥班♥
our flight's at noon.
不我们的航♥班♥是5点的
No, no, our flight's not till 5:00.
我看到坎摩尔发了条推特
Oh, I got a tweet from Kimmel.
罗伯特·雷德福要去盐湖城
Robert Redford's leaving for Salt Lake City,
我帮大家重订了他的航♥班♥
and I re-booked us on his flight.
我们要去堪萨斯州吗
We're going to Kansas?
犹他州
Utah.
我看没人能说出有什么区别
I defy anyone to tell me the difference.
只会逗留五个钟头而已
It's just a five-hour layover.
求你们了
Oh, please.
对我们用酒窝战术
Oh, spare us the dimples.
我们不吃你这套老太太
You have no power over us, old woman.
我不在乎了
Oh, I don't care anymore.
我心乱如麻只想回家
I'm so miserable I just want to go home.
我的天
Oh, my gosh!
我刚刚说我想回家
I just said I want to go home.
是的宝贝我们在这儿
Yes, honey, we were here.
不我说的"家" 是指克利夫兰
No! When I said "Home," I meant Cleveland.
感觉怪怪的是吧
I know, it's weird, isn't it?
我也觉得克利夫兰是我们的家
I've been thinking of Cleveland as home too.
我也是
Me too.
真希望可以直飞回去
Only, I wish we could get there nonstop.
至少我们是坐头等舱吧
We are at least flying first class?
四分之一的票是头等舱
One of us is.
我也说不清
I don't know.
我现在是单身孩子们都长大了
You know, I'm single now, the kids are grown,
没有家人的房♥子不能称之为家
and a house really isn't a home without people in it.
你们在哪里
Wherever you guys are...