燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E16

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 9:22 a.m.

I own this place.
真的同志酒吧吗
Really? A gay bar?
最初「美臀」[小面包]是个面包房♥
Initially, nice buns was a bakery
后来成了健身房♥ 然后同志占领了健身房♥
and then it was a gym and then it was a gay gym
现在就是个同志酒吧啦
and now it's a gay bar.
保不准哪天会变成同志面包房♥呢
Maybe someday it'll be a gay bakery.
没可能街上已经有一家了
No, that's down the street.
叫"馅饼双恋"
Pie-curious.
老家伙开黄腔秀烂脚
Old people sex talk, missing toes.
得看点漂亮东西养养眼我的利安德鲁呢
I need something beautiful to look at. Where's my Leandro?
他在那儿呢
Ah, there he is.
别动了真情
Don't fall in love.
现在提醒可能已经太迟了
Eh, might be too late.
不介意我去找我的迷途小羔羊吧
Would you be okay if I go get my stray?
当然不去吧
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
我再接着物色物色哇塞
I'll just keep scouting. Ooh!
走过来的这位穿的好像是名家设计
Possible designer jacket headed this way.
好啊阿玛尼吗
Hi. Armani?
错了我是乔
No. Joe.
不你穿的是哪家的夹克
No, whose jacket are you wearing?
自己家的
Mine.
无语立马闪人
Yeah, keep walking.
不好意思
Excuse me.
-这儿有人吗 -没有
- Is this seat taken? - Never.
所以你不是等约会对象也不是等直男朋友
So you're not expecting a date or a straight gal pal?
没我单得彻底
Nope, I'm completely alone.
太好了
Delightful.
我快醉倒在你的柔滑美肌中了
I can't get over how smooth your skin is.
你也不错同醉
And I yours.
虽然只是萍水相逢但我必须得说
I know we just met, but I have to say it.
我为你倾倒
I'm very attracted to you.
是吗真的吗
You are? Really?
但你不是...
But--but aren't you--
没啥不好意思的维多利亚·蔡斯
Ah, don't be coy, Victoria Chase.
魅力非凡风姿万千
So charming. Such presence.
你赢定了
You're gonna win for sure.
你说什么
Excuse me?
变装皇后名人♥大♥赛啊
The celebrity drag queen contest.
刚刚看到其他选手在后台准备
I just saw the other contestants backstage getting ready
扮玛丽莲·梦露的那几只
and none of the Marilyn Monroes
只配给你擦鞋
can hold a candle in the wind to you.
所以你认为我是...
So you think that I'm--
我这辈子见过的最美的男人
The most beautiful man I ever seen.
干了这杯酒
Bottoms up.
尽在不言中
All right.
他以为你是变装皇后
So he thinks you're a drag queen?
开始我有点怒了
Well, at first I was insulted,
转念一想都是脸上这两斤粉闹的
but then I realized it's just all this extra makeup.
我以前是没遇过这种情况
Look, I'll admit that it's unconventional,
但我和他很来电啊
but we really made a connection.
而且说实话如果在谈话的前五分钟
And honestly, if you don't bring up the fact
都没告诉他我本是女娇娥的话
that you're not a man in the first five minutes of conversation,
就很难再开这个口了
it is so hard to swing it back around.
再理一遍
To review...
你搭上了一个以为你是男扮女装的男人
You're with a man who thinks you're a man pretending to be a woman.
是的
Yes.
经典歌♥舞喜剧
女主扮成男人从事男扮女装的歌♥舞表演
我乃蔡斯版的《雌雄莫辩》
I am Victor Victoria Chase.
亲爱的我知道你这人脑子一热就冲动
Honey, I know you don't like to think two steps ahead,
但现在这情况
but in this case,
稍微冷静下你就知道这有多荒唐
just one step might lead you to question what you're doing.
不好说每段感情都少不了演的成分
Well, I don't know. Every relationship requires some acting.
现在这情况少不了些小道具
And in this case, some props.
你怎么可能演得让人信服啊
How are you even pulling this off?
怎么解释这么尖的嗓音
I mean, how are you explaining your voice?
我告诉他我的天生尖嗓子
I told him it was naturally high
归功于绝美长脖子
because of my unusually long neck.
你们应该看看他摸我的喉结时是多么温柔
You should see how gently he touches my adam's apple.
你根本没有喉结好吧
You don't have an adam's apple.
他还就爱这点没喉结才是王道
Well, that's what Leandro loves about it. That it's not there.
那我估计他也会很爱你的小鸡鸡的
Well, then he's really gonna love your penis.
关于这个我想了些招儿
Okay, I have a few ideas about that.
谢谢您呐烂在肚子里吧
Yeah, uh, please don't share.
其他的变装皇后呢
Where are the other drag queens?
利安德鲁说他们在后台准备呢
Oh, Leandro says they're backstage prepping.
看有几个出来了
Oh, look. Here are a few now.
我都不清楚该不该给你加油
I don't know if I should be supportive,
但我觉得你赢定了
but I think you're gonna win this contest.
我跟马修会投给你的
Matthew and I will vote for you.
马修是谁
Matthew?
哦你的寂♥寞♥男♥孩啊
Oh, your lonely boy.
没错
Yes.
他太完美了
He's perfect.
他从没当过好基友
He's never been a GBFF before.
我可以按照心目中的完美基友好好调♥教♥一番
I get to train him to be everything I want.
这可是每个女人的终极梦想啊
It's the ultimate female fantasy.
我们能为所欲为还不需要用肉偿
When you don't have to use sex as a reward.
真可惜一个误会令姐妹反♥目♥几十年
It's a shame we lost so many years.
我们的朋友们都不得不选择阵营
All our friends had to pick sides.
艾丝特还好吧
How's Esther?
那个幽默漂亮的艾丝特吗
Oh, funny, pretty Esther?
死了
Dead.
你有玛蒂的消息吗
You hear from Marty?
搬去佛罗里达州了
Moved to Florida.
跟死了也差不多
Same as dead.
查尔斯呢
Charles?
也跟着死亡大部队去了
Following the dead.
死的都在那边相聚了吗
So, the dead are still together?
[感恩至死乐队还在一起吗]
杰瑞·加西亚曾是感恩至死乐队
主吉他手和主唱之一
除了杰瑞·加西亚
All except Jerry Garcia.
就他死得早
Dead.
敬死去的人
To the dead.
所以你对于我这个年纪的女人
So you have no opinion whatsoever
是否适合穿过膝长靴没有任何意见吗
about whether a woman my age should wear over-the-knee boots?
你是说去钓鱼的时候
You mean like for fishing?
这操蛋地方
This place sucks.
那么好基友具体都要做些什么呢
So, how exactly does this whole GBFF thing work?
你难道没看过鲁伯特·艾弗雷特的作品吗
Have you not seen Rupert Everett in...anything?
我们一起跳舞一起泡吧
We go dancing together, we go to clubs,
我们互相陪同参加婚礼
we get to be each other's plus one at weddings--
当然除非谁跟伴郎搞上了
Unless, of course, one of us hooks up with a groomsman.
我从不跟人乱搞
Oh, I never hook up.
我知道我们在一起一定很有意思
I know! We're gonna have so much fun.
我们一起血拼一起八卦
We'll go shopping, we'll gossip.
我会指出你哪儿打扮得不到位
I'll tell you what's wrong with the way you look.
同理你也别对我客气
You'll tell me what's wrong with the way I look.
你能把我打扮得比现在还帅吗
You can make me look better than this?
你不是开玩笑的啊
Oh, you weren't joking.
罗马建筑宏伟历史悠久
Rome has all the architecture and the history.
没错但伦敦也有这些还多了很多剧院
Yes, but London has all that and the theatre.
但如果说到最美的地方
But if we're talking most beautiful,
那必须是...
it would have to be--
波西塔诺
Positano.
恨不能现在携你之手于我的船上扬帆
Wouldn't it be great if we were on my boat right now,
往卡布里岛去
sailing to Capri?
那该多好
Yes.
你在阳光下玉体横陈
You stretched out in the sun...
多美
Yes.
穿着紧身性感泳裤
In your skin-tight speedo.
无需遐想美景尽收眼底
Leaving nothing to the imagination.