燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S02E12

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 9:22 a.m.

Thank god it's just buckshot in the leg.
他好像伤得不是很重
He doesn't seem that badly hurt.
那他怎么晕过去了
Then why did he faint?
斯克罗格家男丁都是见血就晕
All the Scroggs men faint at the sight of blood.
一块带血牛排就能毁了一顿晚宴
One rare steak can ruin a dinner party.
他是我的孩子无疑了
He really is mine.
可他醒来会认为我是他妈
But when he wakes up, he's gonna think he's mine.
你为什么说我是你
Why did you say I was you?
显然乔依吓傻了
Obviously, Joy's in shock,
不然她会选择戏骨来演绎这个角色
or she would have chosen the superior actress for the role.
我慌了自从把他送到领养机构
I panicked. Since I gave him up for adoption,
我就憧憬着重逢会是什么样子
I've dreamed of what our reunion would be
想到了无数情景
like a million different ways,
任何一个都不包括射伤他
none of which involved me shooting him.
求你了假扮我一会儿
Please just say you're me for a little while
直到我想好怎么解释这一切
until I can figure out how to explain all this.
救护车一会儿就到他怎么样
The ambulance is on the way. How's he doing?
他醒了
He's waking up.
我不知道怎么学英国口音
I don't know how to do a British accent.
学我就行
Just talk like I do.
烂主意
Oh, this is a bad idea.
合啰
'Ello.
吾之乖仔咋样鸟
'Ow's me ol' son?
我就说嘛
Called it.
乔依
Joy?
天啦噜
Blimey!
我要是知晓你要来就好鸟
I wish I'd-a known you were comin'.
我肯定会给你泡壶茶滴
I'd-a put on a spot o' tea.
俺管电梯叫升降机
I call elevators "lifts."
你妈妈用含蓄的英国说法
What your mom is trying to say
想要表达的是
in her reserved English way is,
"哎呦喂我们好开心你来了"
"gosh darn it, we're happy you're here."
那你为何开枪打我
Then why did you shoot me?
或许偶可以帮忙之
Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
偶们误以为你是一名前科犯
We were under the impression that you were an ex-convict.
灰常抱歉
Terribly sorry.
你是谁
Who are you?
俺是温彻斯特夫人
I'm Lady Winchester.
她是我滴妈咪
She's me mum.
那你是我外婆咯
So you're my grandmother?
不不我是你滴继外婆
No, no, no. No, I am your step-grandmother.
我是你外公滴第二任老婆
I am your grandfather's second wife.
事实上比乔依还年轻
Actually younger than Joy.
真滴是丑闻一桩
Which is quite a scandal, really.
你应该事先打电♥话♥告知你母亲一声的
You really should have called your mother.
那样她也好为你的到来做好准备
So she could have prepared for your arrival.
我打了我一紧张就挂了
I did call, I just got nervous and I hung up.
无需忧心
Well, no worries.
重要滴是
The important thing is,
你要把这里当成自己滴鸭[的家]
you should consider yourself at 'ome.
不要省略H音亲爱滴
Don't drop your H's, darling.
英国银就不能学着好好说话吗
Oh, why can't the English learn to speak.
轮不到你教训我
You can't tell me what to say.
-你又不是我亲妈 -别这么无礼
- You're not me real mum. - Don't you be impertinent.
太扯了你们别闹了
This is ridiculous. Both of you stop it.
我才是乔依
I'm Joy.
我是你母亲
I'm your mother.
什么等等你是我母亲
What? Wait, you're my mother?
你刚刚为什么假装你不是
Why did you pretend that you weren't?
我慌了
I panicked.
谁开枪打的我
And who shot me?
也是我
That was me too.
但那是意外
But it was an accident.
对确切地说是沙发射伤了你
She's right. Technically, the couch shot you.
我们还是从头说起吧
Yeah, maybe we should just start at the beginning.
我呢假装成你母亲给囚犯写情书
You see, I was writing love notes to a prisoner, as your mother.
你们都是疯子吗
Are you all insane?
太好了救护车来了
Oh, good! The paramedics are here.
我开我的车跟着你
I'll follow you in my car.
相信我事实没有你眼见的这么疯狂
And trust me, things here aren't as crazy as they seem.
俺拿了一袋冰给他糊腿[敷腿]
I brought a wee bag of ice for the wee 'un's leg.
怎么现在不用装英式口音了吗
What? They're not doing that anymore?
我刚跟乔依通过电♥话♥
I just got off the phone with Joy.
她还在等着见欧文
She's still waiting to see Owen,
但是医生说他已无大碍
but the doctor says he's resting comfortably.
那就好我也有好消息
That's good. I have some good news too.
假释犯不得离开
It's against the law for parolees
服刑的那个州
to leave the state they were incarcerated in.
所以加里不能离开宾州
So Gary can't leave Pennsylvania.
他离这儿远还是近
So he's far? Near?
宾州就在我们右边啊
It's the state to our right.
舞台方向的右边吗
Stage right?
估计是警报器公♥司♥的人
Oh, I bet that's the alarm guy.
乔依说他会在11点左右来
Joy said he'd be by around 11:00.
你好我是来找乔依·斯克罗格的
Hi. Here to see Joy Scroggs.
你一定是警报器公♥司♥的人吧
Oh, you must be from the alarm company.
是的
Yes.
我能进来吗
May I come in?
乔依不在但是我们也住这里
Well, Joy's not here, but we live here too.
警报器系统是肯定要装的对吧
And I guess we should still get that alarm system, right?
是的没错
Yeah, I think so.
你先看看安装环境我给你准备饮料
Can I get you something to drink while you check out the house?
好的谢谢
Great, thanks.
我看见你在盯着看
Well, I see you staring,
没错我就是电视明星维多利亚·蔡斯
and, yes, I am television's Victoria Chase.
嘿别谦虚你的电影也很赞
Hey, don't sell your film work short.
恶搞经典《史密斯先生到华盛顿》
你在《疯婆子到华盛顿》中演的那个暴怒的
You were great as the outraged white congresswoman
国会女议员非常棒
in "Madea goes to Washington".
"音乐调小点
"Turn that music down!
我们正在长篇大论阻碍议案通过"
We're trying to filibuster!"
"你好我是雷吉报♥警♥器公♥司♥的
"Hey, this is Reggie with the alarm company.
我今天来不了了
I'm not gonna make it today,
请再和我联♥系♥约时间谢谢"
so please call to reschedule. Thanks."
天呐
Oh, my god.
之后我本来会说
And then I would have said,
"能跟这些才华横溢的女演员
"oh, it's just an honor being nominated
一同提名就已是莫大♥荣♥幸了"
with all these talented women."
你没能发表获奖感言真是把我气死了
I can't tell you how mad I am that you never got to make your speech.
如果我能把那晚的观众都绑♥架♥来
If I could kidnap everyone who was in the audience that night
听你的感言的话我会的
and make them listen to it, I would.
你可真贴心
That is so sweet.
维多利亚
Victoria.
你能来下厨房♥吗
Can I see you in the kitchen, please?
做柠檬汁需要你帮忙
I need some help with the lemonade.
我们正聊得起兴呢
Well, we're kind of in the middle of something here.
做柠檬汁有多难
How hard is it to make lemonade?
不我是说到底有多难
No, I mean, really... How hard is it?
我完全不知道
I seriously have no idea.
如果我看人准的话那人一定是最棒的
If I am any judge of character, that guy is a winner.
他不是报♥警♥器公♥司♥的人
That's not the alarm guy.
我认为那是加里疯狂的前科犯加里
I think that's Gary... crazed ex-con Gary.
不不可能
No, it can't be.
他不能离开波特兰的[俄勒冈州]No, he's not allowed to leave Portland.
宾夕法尼亚州
Pennsylvania.
外面停着的那辆吓人的货车是谁的
Whose creepy van is parked out front?
是那个罪犯的我们赶紧跑吧
That's the convict's. We gotta run.
那可不是好主意
Not a good idea.
呼叫贝克特医生
Paging Dr. Bector.
请贝克特医生听到呼叫后来一趟
Paging Dr. Bector, please.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
你就这样盯着我一整晚吗