杀手猴（2021）

Oh shit. We got company.
嘿，“粗心大意”队长
Hey, Captain Big Heart,
他们向这来了，好吗
they're coming this way, alright?
该躲一下了，我们走
Time to hide. Let's go!
你甚至不知道那是不是他的孩子
You don't even know if that's his kid.
可能只是一个为战场做准备的某个童子军
Probably just some child soldier he was prepping for battle.
为什么我们总是干清理的活
Why do we always get the clean‐up jobs?
我加入黑帮可不是为了像那些笨女佣一样去收拾东西的
I didn't join the Yak' to sweep floors like some stupid‐ass maid.
你能不能别发牢骚了
Would you quit with the job‐shaming?
我姨妈就是个女佣，她工作非常努力
My aunt was a maid. She worked really hard.
我明白了，你是一个矛盾的杀手
We get it. You're the conflicted killer.
超级老派，但说真的
Super original. But seriously,
奥普拉·温弗里：美国电视脱口秀主持人
等着奥普拉访谈再说吧
save it for Oprah.
这很简单，瞄准并开枪，直到坏人都完蛋
It's easy. Just point and shoot till the bad guys go bye‐bye.
感觉我们只是给他们跑腿的，你知道吗
It just feels like we're their errand boys. You know,
我花了一上午的时间开车四处寻找一条见鬼的河豚...
I spent all morning driving around trying to find a stupid blowfish‐‐
嘿，闭嘴，你听见了吗
Hey, shut up. You hear that?
估计是老鼠
Probably just a rat.
这地方令人厌恶 -是吧
This place is a shithole! ‐ Right?
这家伙连4K电视都没有
The guy doesn't even have a 4K TV.
吼吼吼，看这个
Ho ho ho ho, look at this!
嘿，放回去，我们来这不是偷东西
Hey, put that back. We're not here to steal.
我们是来清理的
We're here to scrub.
才不要，澈平说我要看见喜欢的可以留下
No way. Teppei said if I find something cool, I can have it.
好吧，澈平就是个白♥痴♥
Yeah, well, Teppei is a moron.
而桔平说不要听他哥哥说的任何话
And Keppei said don't listen to anything his brother says.
霍尔与欧茨：戴瑞·霍尔和约翰·欧茨组成美国流行音乐乐队
澈平和桔平？都谁是谁，日本版的霍尔与欧茨吗
Keppei and Teppei? Who are they, the Japanese Hall & Oates?
你们是什么人
Who the hell are you?
看见我们穿的制♥服♥了吗，笨蛋
Look at our uniforms, asshole.
我们是军事警♥察♥
We're military police.
所以不如你们放下武士刀
So why don't you put down the katana
然后爬出这里
and slither on outta here?
噢，你喜欢蛇吗
Oh, you like snakes?
哦耶，给他看看
Oh yeah, show, show!
你喜欢这些响尾蛇吗
How you like them rattlers?
把你的上衣穿上
Put your blouse back on.
我们都知道将军赌博成性
We know all about the General's gambling problem.
而黑帮吸血鬼一直在用利用这点
And the Yakuza leeches who feed off of it.
普通人不知道，我们也不希望这种事公开
The public is not, and we're gonna keep it that way.
噢，噢，我明白了，嗯，加藤欠澈平和桔平的钱
Oh, oh, oh, I see. Okay, Kato owed Keppei and Teppei money.
这可能就是他们利用他来杀我的原因
That's probably how they roped him into killing me.
我最后一次警告你们
This is the last time I'm gonna warn you.
把刀放下然后滚蛋
Put down the sword and beat it.
要是不呢
Or what?
那就这样，混♥蛋♥
Or this, asshole.
嘿，嘿，嘿
Hey, hey, hey!
你们二个，现在趴到地上
You two! Down on the ground! Now!
噢，吼吼，快看，这太精彩了
Oh ho ho. Look at this. This is awesome.
把刀放下
Now drop the sword.
你怎么知道这把刀不是我的呢，小姐
How do you know this ain't my sword, lady?
因为我是黑帮的人，你就认定了我是偷来的
Just because I'm Yakuza, you assume I must be a thief.
听着，小子们，将军的刀
Look, kid, the General's sword doesn't belong
可不是你们赌场里的玩具
in your sad‐ass bingo hall.
噢，可惜，我们已经拿到了
Well, too bad, 'cause we're taking it.
这把刀现在是双龙赌场的财产了
This blade is now property of the Double Dragon Casino.
好的，信息总结
‐ Okay, here's the 411.
这扇门的对面有一把枪
There's a gun pointed at a scrawny dude
正在指着那个比较弱鸡的家伙
right on the other side of this door,
冲突在所难免
and shit's about to go sideways.
所以我们需要掩护，我说的我们是指你
So we need cover. And by we, I mean you.
噢，有个头盔，戴上它
Oh! The helmet! Here! Put it on!
放下枪 -放下刀
Put it down! - Drop the sword.
放下枪，小姐 - 噢噢噢
Put it down, lady. ‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa.
嘿嘿嘿，你在干什么
Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?
妈的
Shit!
见鬼
God damnit!
这太精彩了
This is awesome!
佑介，不
Yuski! No!
妈的，你给我去死
Shit! You're gonna die!
混♥蛋♥
Asshole!
好的，我中枪了，大概，47次
Okay, I just got shot, like, 47 times.
噢，上帝，你还好吗
Oh, God, how are you?
噢，哥们，看看这
Oh boy. Look at that.
杰克逊·波洛克：美国抽象表现主义画家，以他独特创立的“滴画”而著名
哦，上帝，看起来像杰克逊·波洛克
Oh Lord, looks like Jackson Pollock was painting
用血在这里作画，我说得对吗
with blood in here, am I right?
技术上说，这都怪你
Technically, this is all your fault,
但我愿意从另一个角度看问题
but I'm willing to look the other way.
现在，拿上那把刀，那玩意好使
Now grab the sword. That thing's rad.
好吧，但你现在需要振作起来
Fine, but you need to get your shit together.
因为如果我是个赌徒，我敢打赌我们在双龙赌场
'Cause if I were a gambling man, I'd wager that the Double Dragon Casino
就能找到澈平和桔平
is where we're gonna find Keppei and Teppei.
而且，我是一个非常喜欢赌的人
Also, I am very much a gambling man.
什么是赌场？你开玩笑吗
What's a casino? Are you kidding me?
就像是，呃
It's like, um,
地球上最幸福的地方与最悲伤的地方的孩子
if the happiest place on Earth had a baby with the saddest place.
腐♥败♥在秘密中发芽
Corruption grows in secret.
它在黑暗中茁壮成长
It thrives in darkness.
我的导师高原健将打击腐♥败♥作为他一生的工作
My mentor, Ken Takahara, made fighting corruption his life's work.
这就是为什么解决腐♥败♥
And that's why it will be the central issue
将是我竞选的核心
of my campaign.
你认为一个人可以承担起这个巨大的任务吗
And you think one man can take on this enormous task?
好吧，我独一个人把我的侄女养大成人
Well, I raised my niece all by myself,
所以我认为我已经准备好去应对任何事情
so I feel like I'm ready for anything.
好吧，时间到了
Okay, time to go.
现在，如果你们不介意的话
Now, if you'll excuse me,
政♥府♥的工作正在召唤我
the business of government is calling.
还得练练即兴演讲
Let's work on the ad‐libs.
好了，他们喜欢我这么说
Come on, they loved it.
说到这里
Speaking of which,
最新的日经民♥意♥调查显示你落后小津五个百分点
latest Nikkei poll has you trailing Ozu by five points.
但当被问及选民更信任谁时
But when asked who voters trust more,
你却领先15个百分点
you're leading by fifteen.
你这个小小的信托基金共♥产♥党员
You little trust‐fund commie.
你骗了我
You lied to me.
你一边看着我的眼睛和我握手
You looked me in the eye, shook my hand,
一边在我背后捅了一刀
and stabbed me in the back.
嘿，嘿
Hey, hey.
我们中没有人能够预料到，一篇悼词能够引发...
None of us could have predicted that a eulogy could spark‐‐
别废话了
Cut the shit.
人们在悲痛中，你利用了他们的情绪
People were grieving. You took advantage of their emotions.
噢，你得了吧
Oh, give me a break.
你自己的竞选活动都是建立在操纵人们的情绪上
You built your entire campaign on manipulating peoples' emotions.
好吧，亲爱的
Alright, sweetie.
竞选路上见
See you on the campaign trail.
噢，真嗣阁下
Oh, Shinji‐san.
这套西装很不错
That's a nice suit.
你应该配合个马甲
You should try it with a vest.
哦，伙计，这就像是大家有条底线的默认公约
Oh boy. It is like a goddamn security convention in there.
顺便说一句，这完全是你的错
Which is, by the way, totally your fault.
也许下一次，尽量不要在进城的第一天就挑起一场帮派战争
Maybe next time, try not to start a gang war your first day in town.
好吧，好的
Alright, okay,
你还是把愤怒留给目标吧
let's save the rage for the targets.
听着，我曾经干掉过一些赌场的老板
Now, look, I've taken out a few casino bosses in my day,
根据我的经验，他们通常都躲在
and in my experience they're usually holed up
某个暗处的办公室里数钱
in some back office counting their cash.
那很可能是我们找到澈平和桔平的地方
That's most likely where we'll find Keppei and Teppei.
天哪，我快不会说这些名字了
Jesus, I can't keep saying those names.
苏斯博士：美国著名的作家及漫画家，以儿童绘本出名，每部作品都有特色的押韵
这就像我们要对付一对苏斯博士笔下的角色
It's like we're going up against a couple of Dr. Seuss characters.
从现在开始，我们能不能只干掉那些名字很酷的人