杀手猴（2021）

Hit Monkey S01E09

Part 3 Jan. 18, 2022, 4:49 p.m.

现在
And now,
挡在我前面的
all that stands in my way
只有你
is you.
冲他下三路去，懂了吗？往他蛋蛋周围招呼
Go for his nuts! You know? Just swing it around his nuts!
你得学会控制你的呼吸，猴子
You must control your breath, Monkey.
紧张会让你丧命的，猴子
Tension will get you killed, Monkey.
乖猴子
Good monkey.
好吧，别慌
Okay, okay, don't panic.
嘿，这棵树挺合适
Hey, this tree is pretty sweet.
你知道，他可能在它下面杀了不少人
You know, he probably kills everyone under it.
如果你爬到树叶里，也许有机会...
Maybe if you climbed inside, you could‐‐
什么...
What the‐‐
嘿，嘿，你看见了吗
Hey! Hey! Did you see that!
你刚才看见我了吗？看见我...我把树枝碰折了
Did you see what I did? Look what I‐I‐‐ I broke the tree.
我把树枝碰折了，用我的...我的鬼魂手臂
I broke the tree with my, with my ghost hands.
这是怎么...噢，见鬼
What the‐‐ aw, crap.
我发誓刚才可以的
I swear to God I did it.
啊
Ugh.
把你的脏手从它身上拿开
Keep your filthy hands off of it!
不
No.
你打败了我
You've defeated me.
但没关系
But it doesn't matter.
骰子已经掷下
The die is cast.
一个为国操劳的人
A man who toils or his country
将永远照耀在
will always be lit
日本的太阳之下
by the sun of Japan.
噢喔喔，哇
Oh‐ho‐ho‐oh whoa.
咿呀
Yikes.
看上去午餐吃的不错
Someone had a big lunch.
这群人越来越不受控制了
This crowd is getting out of control.
我们需要更多增援
We need more backup.
别管这帮人了
Forget the crowd.
靶眼女士怎么办，她可能在任何地方
What about Lady Bullseye? She could be anywhere.
呦
Oy!
你认为这个派对
You thought you could have a party
无需邀请银武士吗？
and not invite the Silver Samurai?
那是谁？ -收起你的枪
‐ Who is that? ‐ Holster your weapon.
那是银武士
That's Silver Samurai.
他是一个中世纪变种武士
He's a mutant medieval warrior
宣誓过保护总理
and sworn protector of the Prime Minister
同时也是个大混♥蛋♥
and a giant asshole.
我的人♥民♥啊
My people,
今晚我在此，不为某人服务
tonight I stand here not in service to one candidate
而是为整个日本
but all of Japan.
无论这次选举的结果如何
Whatever the outcome of this election,
街上都将会是和平的
there will be peace in the streets.
银武士如是说
So says the Silver Samurai!
那是什么鬼东西？
What the hell is that?
我是由纪
I am Yuki!
不死的幽灵刺客
The undead ghost assassin.
我将恢复东京的和平
I will restore peace to Tokyo!
由纪
Yuki.
噢，这可太好了
Wow. This is just great.
真是个...精彩的表演
This is a...a total shit‐show.
哈，是啊
Ha! Yeah.
秋子
Akiko.
到时间了
It's time.
我们刚刚得到消息，最终的选举结果已经出来了
We've just gotten word that the final election results are in.
我很荣幸地宣布
I'm proud to announce
日本的新总理是
the new Prime Minister of Japan
横滨真司
is Shinji Yokohama.
好
Yes!
哇
Whoo!
天啊，叔叔，赢了
Oh my god! Uncle! Yes!
这是你应得的
You deserve this!
我们应得的
We deserve this.
没有你我做不到这一步
I couldn't have done it without you.
哦，我为你的获奖感言写了点东西
Oh, I wrote something for your acceptance speech.
很棒的呦
It's awesome.
无意冒犯，不过我自己也写了
No offense, but I wrote my own.
噢，所以你又把我炒了一次？
Oh, so you're firing me again?
不，秋子，你是我的新幕僚长
No, Akiko. You're my new chief of staff.
叔叔
Uncle‐‐
别哭
Don't.
你要是一哭，会把我也带哭的
If you cry, you're gonna make me cry.
总理
Prime Minister!
来吧，让我敬你一杯
Come on, let's get you a drink!
噢，亲爱的
Oh, sweetie,
让我来帮你吧
let me help you with that.
呃...
Oh, uh‐‐
呃...我很可以的，但还是谢了
Uh... um, I'm good, but thank you.
我坚持
I insist.
噢，那好吧
Oh. Just gonna do it.
嗯...现在我的手还有点抖呢
Um... I guess my hands are kinda shaky right now.
我知道
I know!
多激动的晚上啊
What an exciting night!
哎呦，这里是怎么了
Yikes. What happened here?
说来话长
It's a long story.
还是有点敏感
It's still a little tender.
噢
Aw.
我会非常...温柔的
I'll be very... gentle.
我是说，我把那根树枝折断了，知道吗，我...但为什么呢
I mean, I snapped that branch, you know. I‐I‐‐ But how?
听着，这一切都预示着有大事要发生
Look, this is all a sign that something big's about to happen, you know.
世界之间的障碍，它们正在打破
The barriers between the worlds, they're breaking, you know.
像我...像我这样的存在，我可以感觉到
Like my, my presence here is, it's starting to fray. I can feel it.
天啊
Oh God.
你
You?
我已经在选举中失败了
I just lost the election!
这还不够吗？
Isn't that enough?
现在，你要像杀了高原健
So now you're going to kill me,
那样再杀了我吗？
just like you killed Takahara.
我？
Me?
我为什么要这么做？
Why would I have done it?
本来我在民调中对健有十个百分点的优势
I was ten points up in the polls against Ken!
可突然他就被杀了，让我的对手变成了一位烈士
Suddenly he's murdered, and I'm running against a martyr!
这谁能赢得了？
Who could compete with that?
想想吧
Think about it!
谁的收益最大
Who had the most to gain?
嘿，听着，虽然我很讨厌这个卑鄙小人
Hey, look, as much as I hate this scumbag,
但他说的很有道理
he's making a good point.
因为健的死只是为...打开了一扇门
'Cause all Ken's death did was open the door for, um‐‐
噢，天啊
Oh my god.
谢谢，谢谢
Thank you! Thank you!
我的一位伟大的朋友曾经说过
A great friend of mine once said,
"为国操劳的人 "
"He who toils for his country
将永远照耀在
"will always be lit
日本的太阳之下
by the sun of Japan."
该死
Oh shit.