杀手猴（2021）

Ah, yes.
那只猴子是个非常好的顾客
The monkey is a very good client.
穿着婴儿裤
Wears a 24 short.
墙上猴子边上的那张照片
The guy on the wall next to the monkey,
看起来很眼熟
he looks familiar.
美国人
American.
我记得他的名字是布鲁斯？嗯，布莱斯？
I believe his name was Bruce? Uh, Bryce?
布莱斯，布莱斯
Bryce. Bryce.
他是一个杀手
He's an assassin.
曾经老套的向我搭讪过
Hit on me once at a convention.
想跟我上♥床♥聊聊 "枪的功能"
Tried to get me into bed talking about "rifle specs."
嗯，这只猴子肯定喜欢他
Well, the monkey certainly likes him.
他坚持让我把他们的照片放在一起
He was adamant I keep their photos together.
你最后一次见到那个美国人是什么时候？
When's the last time you saw the American?
我记得我听说过他最近在山里被人干掉了
I thought I heard he was killed up in the mountains recently.
哦，这事我一点也不清楚
Oh, I wouldn't know anything about that.
那我们就没什么可说的了
Then I believe we're done here.
谢谢你的衣服，你的手艺是无与伦比的
Thank you for the dress. Your craftsmanship is unparalleled.
但我还没完全...
But I'm still in the middle‐‐
啊，疼疼疼
Ah, tch‐tch‐tch‐tch‐tch.
你为什么要扎我？
Why did you just poke me?
噢，我不只是扎你
Oh, I didn't poke you.
我把一根微型针♥刺♥入了你的桡动脉
I introduced a needle into your radial artery.
现在，这个锋利的小家伙正在你的手臂上旅行
Right now the sharp little guy is traveling up your arm.
这会它应该已经经过你的肩膀
He's gonna hang a right at your shoulder
随时会到达它的最终目的地
and arrive at his final destination any moment.
就是现在
Now.
噢嘿，我刚意识到一件事
Oh, hey, I just realized something!
白宫主人历年均有养狗的传统
你知道总统的狗叫第一犬么？
You know how the President has the First Dog?
嗯，其实你也可以的，伙计
Well, that's gonna be you, man.
你会成为日本的官方宠物的
You're gonna be the official pet of Japan!
我是说，他们没准会把你印到邮票上
I mean, they're probably gonna put you on a goddamn stamp!
谁还在乎面具啊
Who cares about the masks anymore.
大家舔你还来不及呢
You're gonna have people licking your ass‐‐
嗯？
Huh?
哥们，我...我不知道发生了什么
Dude, I‐I don't know what's happening,
但这有点吓到我了
but it's kinda freaking me out now.
所以，呃...我们先不管这个，希望一会就没事了
So, uh, let's just ignore it and hope it goes away.
你明白的，让我来处理我的问题
You know, like I do with all my problems.
嗯？
Huh?
这里看起来不太对劲
This doesn't make any sense.
有点令人困惑
It's just confusing,
因为如果真是追求封建形态的日本
because if this was really feudal Japan,
这里就不会有外面那些带枪的人的，你知道
there wouldn't be guys with machine guns just walking around, you know.
不，我的意思是，我想说的是
No, I mean, all I'm saying is that
如果你要举办一个主题派对的话，要注意细节
if you're gonna throw a theme party, commit.
该死，看见了吧
Oh shit. Look at this.
这就是这里的保安措施
Here's where they put the budget.
是时候把你的武士刀拿出来了，伙计
Might wanna grab your katana, dude.
该见见血了
It's time to get bloody.
选票不应该这么接近的
It shouldn't be this close.
你向我保证过
You assured me.
投票站还有一个小时才关闭，议员
The polls do not close for another hour, Councilor.
时间足够
There's plenty of time.
这是胡说八道，亏我相信过你
This is bullshit. I trusted you.
下去吧，喝点饮料，休息一下
Go downstairs, have a drink, and relax.
会没事的
It's going to be fine.
我们国家的未来正处于危险之中
The future of our country is at stake.
你怎么能这么平静
How the hell can you be so calm?
因为我早就安排好了
Because I have an insurance policy.
现在，听我的
Now, like I said,
给自己倒杯酒
go pour yourself a drink,
和赞助者们交流交流
mingle with your donors,
你该开始表现得像个该死的总理了
and start behaving like a goddamn Prime Minister.
先生，先生
Sir, sir,
那猴子在这
the monkey is here.
天啊
Oh my god.
你说它在这是什么意思？
What are you talking about, here?
难道就是这里？
Like here‐here?
把议员带到安全的地方
Get the Councilor to safety.
你不一起来吗？
You're not coming?
我...有能力
I... am capable
照顾好自己
of taking care of myself.
花了你不少时间啊
Took you long enough.
嘿，东京的庙太多了
Hey, there's a lot of temples in Tokyo.
但只有一座庙是穿西装的猴子经常来的
But only one where a monkey in a suit hangs out.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
你很快就会迎来你的结局
You will soon meet your end.
哦，你还会这种毛骨悚然的预言吗？
Oh, you make creepy predictions too?
倒是没想到
Didn't see that coming.
我们可以开始了？
Shall we begin?
噢，变得有趣了
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
天哪，你可真烦人
Jesus, you're annoying!
知道吗，如果战斗的时候你能少说两句的话
You know, if you talk less when you fight,
你就能控制好你的呼吸
you can manage your breath.
啊
Aah!
啊，原来如此
Oh, here we go.
再见了
Bye now.
那么，大聪明
So, wise man,
这是我的结局？
is this my end?
会的，当你与猴子和怪...一起战斗的时候
It will be when you battle the monkey and the gho‐‐
什么？
The what?
鬼魂？ -不不不
Ghost? ‐ No, no, no.
你要说的就是这个吧
Is that what you were going to say?
乖羊
Goat.
猴子和羊
Monkey and the goat.
谢谢
Thanks.
这让我很...愉悦
This was very... spiritual.
看你的方向
Look at you go!
好吧，他从高处过来的，所以要瞄低点
Alright, he's coming in high so aim low!
注意2点和3点钟方位
Two and three o'clock!
不好意思，是你的3点钟方位，我不会再弄错了
Oh sorry. Your three o'clock! I won't do that anymore.
快，肩膀上面
Quick, over your shoulder.
哦买♥♥噶，我都想冲你扔钱了
Oh my god. I wanna throw cash at you.
你知道吗，我都不知道咱们俩搭档
You know, I had no idea you could enjoy working
合作的这么默契
with a partner this much.
你看这些守卫这么轻易就被咱们干掉了
Yeah, I just thought they were there to blame stuff on.
吼吼吼
Ho‐ho‐ho.
噢，伙计
Oh man. Oh man.
我猜这些只是餐前薯条和沙拉
I guess that's it for the chips and salsa.
让我们点份主菜吧
Let's go order us up a main course.
嘿，注意观察靶眼女士
Hey, keep an eye out for Lady Bullseye.
她肯定潜伏在这里的某个地方
She's gotta be lurking around here somewhere.
喔
Whoa!
干得不错，猴子
You've come a long way, Monkey.
看你这打扮我还以为回到了16世纪
Yeah, back to the 1600s, by the look of it.
那么，你是来归还我赠送给
So, are you here to return the katana
加藤将军的武士刀的吗？
I gifted to General Kato?
还是说
Or perhaps
你要见识一下它的姐妹刀
you'd like to meet its sister!
你不知道，但你的手中握着的是一把
You don't know it, but you hold in your hands
英雄的刀
the blade of a hero.
西乡隆盛是最后一位伟大的武士
Saigō Takamori was the last of the great Samurai.
他为了对抗我们国家的更新换代而死
He died fighting against the modernization of our country.
他知道这种转变会导致平庸
A transition he knew would lead to mediocrity
和懦弱
and cowardice!
而我已经立下誓言，要继续他的斗争
But I've made a vow to continue his fight.
来唤回老一辈的传统
To bring back the old ways
使日本恢复其应有的荣誉地位
and restore Japan to its proper place of honor.
不好意思，它的战斗风格就是把我们给烦死吗？
I'm sorry, is his fighting style to bore us to death?