杀手猴（2021）

You want to say "no more"
和它所服务的腐♥败♥主子们说 "不"
to the old system and the corrupt masters it serves!
不要再为一个
No more!
只为百分之一的人服务的经济而努力
To an economy that only works for the one percent!
为啥我总记不住我的密♥码♥，等一下，是ASS...
Why can't I remember my password? Wait, is it ASS...
ASSMAN? No.
Oh. ASSASSINOW.（刺客）
哦，就是这样，正是我期望的提醒词帮忙了
Oh, it's times like this I wish I had a catch phrase.
现在是时候了
Now is the time!
是枪声 在12层楼
Gun! Twelfth floor.
不对，是15层
No, fifteenth!
哦，现在要走很多楼梯了
Oh! Now that's a lot of stairs.
这可能是Oswald当年只选了六层楼的原因
Probably why Oswald only went to the sixth floor.
（杀手Oswald射杀美国总统肯尼迪的时候藏身第六层博物馆）
快，我们可以成为第一个到达现场的人
Let's go! We can be the first ones on scene.
警♥察♥，让开路
Out of the way! Police!
我先去，你呼叫支援
I got this and you call for backup!
不，等一下，浩
No! No, no. Wait. Hiroshi!
肯
Ken!
不，不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
噢上帝啊
Oh God! Oh God!
噢，好吧
Oh. Okay‐‐
噢，开玩笑呢吧
Oh, you gotta be shitting me.
噢，上帝，不
Oh God! No!
浩
Hiroshi.
浩
Hiroshi.
有沒有搞...
What the...
啊，你一定就是舒勒
Ah, you must be Schouler.
上帝啊，你们这些家伙之间没有互相通气吗？
Jesus Christ, do you guys ever talk to each other?
当然，是的，我是舒勒，也就是你们这些混♥蛋♥雇佣的人
Sure, yeah, no, I'm Schouler, AKA the guy you asshats hired.
应该在飞机的上那个人
The guy you're supposed to put on that plane!
顺便问一下，我的钱在你那吗
By the way, do you have my money?
你是指这些钱吗？
You mean this money?
我现在应该把这个收回来
I believe I'm supposed to collect this back.
现在，你杀了一个大人物
Now you have killed a great man.
一个本可以终结腐♥败♥之祸的人
A man who would have ended the scourge of corruption.
所以，雇佣你的人托我给你带个话
So I'm here to deliver a message from the man who hired you.
他感谢你提供的服务，并希望你能理解
He thanks you for services rendered and hopes that you will understand
必须有人为这一可怕的罪行付出代价
that someone needs to pay the price for this awful crime
这样日本人♥民♥才能放下过去继续前进
so that the Japanese people can move on.
好吧，是这样的，我不相信我命中注定
Well, here's the thing. I don't believe it's my fate
会死在你这种混♥蛋♥的手里
to die at the hands of a total prick like you.
火♥辣♥的女人，当然没问题，我可以接受
A badass woman, sure. Yeah, I could roll with that.
一群够辣的女人，更好了，不是吗
Or a bunch of badass women. Even better, eh?
但肯定不是，不会是那种自带口臭还脑满肠肥的业余二线黑客
But no, it's not gonna be some B‐team hack with love handles and halitosis.
拜拜
Bye‐bye.
你跑不远的
You won't make it far.
你根本不知道你在和谁打交道
You have no idea who you're dealing with.
我等不及要见他呢
I can't wait to meet him.
噢，你们这群混♥蛋♥，这是我最喜欢的衬衫
Aw, you bastard. This is my lucky shirt.
噢，见鬼
Oh shit.
啊，这看上去挺糟
Ohhh, that's much worse.
嘿，布莱斯，你想去日本吗？
Hey, Bryce, you want to go to Japan?
是的，当然，为什么不呢
Oh yeah, sure, why not.
自从你杀了那家汽车公♥司♥的董事长后，你就没去过那里
Yeah, you haven't been there since you killed the chairman of that car company.
那次旅行很开心，对吗？
You had fun on that trip, right?
啊，打起精神来，小狼狗
Ah, chin up, B‐Dog.
比这更糟的时候你都挺过来了
You've been in bigger pickles than this, yeah.
天哪
Ohhh boy.
唉，太多遗憾了
Ugh. So many regrets.
哦，我应该留个山羊胡子的
Oh, I should have grown that goatee.
这是什么鬼东西
What the hell is this?
噢，嗨
Ohh! Hey!
是一大堆猴子
It's a shitload of monkeys.
那... 那是什么？ 你手里是什么，嗯？
Wha‐‐ what is that? What you got there, huh?
你知道，我很确定你们不是催我交网费的人
You know, I'm pretty sure you guys are outside of my provider's network.
噢，见鬼，那...
Oh God, that‐‐
味道像吃屎一样
that tastes like ass.
嗨
Hey.
为什么我们把这个邪恶的人带回来
你宁可让他死
这不是我们的作法
他会带来其他人的
你过于激动了
也许年轻的猴子们是对的
是时候让你退位了
我仍然是这里的首领
除非你想向我挑战
嘿，听着，我... 我希望这和我无关，好吗
Hey, look, I‐‐ I hope this isn't about me, okay,
因为我讨厌在热水浴缸周围
'cause I'd hate to cause any tension
制♥造♥任何紧张
around the hot tub.
你懂的
You know.
嗯，他有点情绪，是吧
Well, he's high‐strung, yeah?
哦，我懂
Oh, I know.
我们雇一个人去干活，然后干掉他
We'll hire a guy to do the job and then just kill him.
首先，是那个送信的
First, there'll be the messengers.
然后...
And then...
我要杀了每一个提出这个
I'm going to kill every one of the shitheads
白♥痴♥计划的混♥蛋♥
who came up with this idiot plan!
希望猴子医生在那些混♥蛋♥的红屁♥股♥上
Hope that monkey doctor's got a load of malpractice insurance
买♥♥了一大笔医疗事故保险
up that bright red ass of his.
这不是我那个邪恶的新兄弟吗
Well, if it isn't my evil new stepbrother.
哇，嘿，这是给你的生活小窍门
Whoa. Hey, here's a little lifehack for you,
不要和拿着枪的人顶嘴
don't talk back to the guy holding the gun.
你明白吧，你其他那些猴子不一样，是吧？
You know, you're not like those other ones, are you?
你知道我是什么人
You know what I am.
啊，哒，哒，哒
Ah‐da‐da‐da‐d
如果我是你就不会这么做
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
当你一怒之下拿起这东西之后
You pick up one of these in anger
你就永远放不下它了
and you'll never put it down.
此外，最后你可能会像我一样...
Plus, you could end up like me...
成为一个全能的好人
an all‐around awesome guy.
是啊
Yeah.
他是魔鬼
送来毁灭我们的
住嘴
你会吓到小孩子的
他杀了他们
他用雪制♥造♥了一个完整的部落
不就是雪么
现在是雪，下次该玩真的了
这家伙到底有什么问题？
What the hell's this guy's problem?
对不起，我可以在这里插一句吗
Excuse me, can I interject here?
这只猴显然脾气暴躁
This one obviously has anger issues,
不管他说什么，都不是我♥干♥的
and whatever he's saying, I didn't do it.
噫，不太好，伙计
Yikes. Not cool, man.
噢，发生什么事了？
Aw, what's going on?
他要把他赶走吗？
Is he kicking him out?
嘿，嘿，伙计，我很抱歉，我...我只是在起哄
Hey, hey, man, I'm sorry about that. I w‐‐ I was just screwing around.
嘿，嘿，哥们
Hey. Hey, dude.
对不起
I'm sorry.
你们是和那个，呃
Are you guys pals with the, uh,
那个被我炸死的家伙是朋友吗？
the other fellows that I exploded?
如果是这样的话，别往心里去啊
'Cause if so, no hard feelings.
老兄，你真以为你能逃走吗？
Bro, did you honestly think you could get away with this?
呃，我的意思是，不
Well, I mean, no.
直到我发现这个猴子温泉
Not until I found this monkey day spa.
但除此之外，是的，不，我曾经很自负
But then after that, yeah, no, I was feeling pretty cocky.
蠢东西
Stupid animal.
我他妈...
What the‐‐
噢，你就像个球星，兄弟
Oh, that was baller, dude.
真的
For real.
听着，我不想让它变得奇怪，但你和我
Look, I don't want to make it weird but you and me,
我们是相通的
we're connected.
而这里的事情还没有结束
And there's unfinished work here.
你要找到那些对我们做这件事的混♥蛋♥
You're gonna find the assholes who did this to us
让他们也尝到相同的滋味
and do this to them.
你听到了吗
You hear me?
向...他们...复仇
Do... this... to them.
跟你说过这看上去会很奇怪
Told you this was gonna get weird.
找到这只猴子